Party of Two

by Tey Holden

  “I’m right here.” Alex said in a soft, whisper-like tone, almost afraid to startle Blair even more.

  Pat, Megan, the new bartender, some of the regulars, and some of the non-regulars who were closer to the bar looked from one to the other watching the situation as it developed. When Blair heard Alex’s voice she was startled, and when she met the green eyes, she froze. Shaken and vulnerable, she hardly knew what to say, much less how to react.

  Seeing Blair so exposed, Alex froze for a moment, but she remembered Addy’s words telling her to follow her heart. She regained control and walked from behind the bar still holding Blair’s gaze. “I’m not planning on going anywhere with anyone but you.” Alex whispered as she placed her right hand on Blair’s collarbone. She took Blair’s right hand and held the tip of her fingers. Alex could feel Blair’s heartbeat in the hand she had on Blair’s collarbone and chest. “I came here hoping you’d come.” Alex’s tone was like a soft whisper, almost seductive. Megan, Pat and the others had retreated to give them space, but were unwillingly watching from the distance enthralled with the developing scene. Megan thought that if she were Blair, she would have probably fainted. The sensuality in Alex’s voice was enough to make anyone soft at the knees.

  “I think I need to sit down,” Pat whispered to Megan.

  “We need to give them space. Come on people, go back to your tables, this is a private matter.” Megan commented forcing the group to break up.

  Pat walked behind Megan talking rhetorically. “I need to cool down, Lisa is out of town, and I’ll be home alone tonight. Shit!” Megan chuckled. Lisa was a nice woman, and Pat’s lover for the last four years. Even though everyone was trying to mind their own business, all eyes remained focused on the couple, even from a distance.

  Blair tried to say something, but she still couldn’t. Alex moved closer and whispered in her ear, “I’ve missed you.” Blair closed her eyes and leaned in seeking to hide her face in Alex’s hair. Alex felt her breath and shivered. She could also feel the quick beat of Blair’s heart under the hand she had on her chest.

  Alex tried to look at her face, but Blair wouldn’t face her. “No, she said and looked away quickly.”

  Alex noticed the shimmer in her eyes and undoubtedly knew there were tears there. The room was dark and no one else could see her but Alex. Oh God! I don’t want anyone to see her cry! “Let’s go where we can talk.” Alex pulled her away to the far end of the dance floor, the spot where couples usually went to have private moments. Everyone watched as they vanished into the end corner of the room.

  When Pat saw them, she couldn’t help her comment. “I’ll be damned. Never thought I’d see the day.”

  Megan smiled. “I hope they can work something out. Alex is good for her.”

  Pat called the disc jockey in her booth and told her to play continuous sets of slow, romantic music.

  “I’m sure there are a lot of wet panties in this room right now!” Megan laughed as Pat continued to talk. “They make a beautiful couple. I hope it works out.”

  Even when they reached the far corner of the dance floor, neither said a word. They just stood there in silence trembling. Blair looked like she had fallen into some sort of trance. Alex ran her hands from Blair’s shoulders down her arms to reach both her hands, which she held to her side. “Your hands are cold.” Blair nodded and buried her face into Alex’s hair. Alex put one arm around her neck, pretending to dance, and held her other hand.

  Not knowing how to respond, Blair placed her hand gently around Alex’s waist and brought Alex’s other hand to her chest and held it there. When Alex nestled her head on Blair’s shoulder, Blair brought her mouth near to Alex’s ear wanting to tell her how she felt. Barely audible, she finally whispered, “there’s something you have to know.” Alex was quiet, almost numb. Blair took her time. “I know this will ruin everything, and that you may not want to talk to me ever again, but you need to know why I’ve been avoiding you.” She whimpered again. “I don’t know how to keep this from you anymore. I fought it as much as I could, but I’ve failed. I’ve fallen in love with you, Alex. I can’t help feel what I feel. I need you to know because I need to let you go.” She sobbed. “It hurts too much.” She exhaled and whimpered again fighting her tears. “I tried to be just your friend, but I haven’t—.”

  She couldn’t finish when she sensed Alex’s lips next to hers. Alex trembled as she felt her heart stop and then beat as if wanting to come out of her chest. She was heart-broken thinking that Blair thought she needed to end any relationship with her because of her feelings. Blair felt her tremors and held her. She could hear Alex’s fast breathing and feel Alex’s grip on her back.

  Unexpectedly, Alex grasped Blair’s scrubs above her chest and looked into her eyes. The tears in the green eyes were only covering the fire in them. “I can’t let you go.” The blue eyes were astonished searching the bloodshot green ones. Alex shook her head and continued. “I won’t. I love you too, but I don’t know how. I have feelings I don’t understand.”

  Blair had been expecting a soft let down as a rejection, but her heart nearly stopped when she heard the most incredible response she had ever expected. Alex buried her face in Blair’s chest relieved to have also shared her torment to her loving tormentor.

  Blair closed her eyes and engulfed her in her arms not wanting anyone to see their private, intimate moment. They held each other for a while until Blair recovered from the ecstasy and confusion of the moment and pulled out of the embrace. “We need to talk, but not here. We need to leave.” Alex nodded in agreement.

  That Alex had feelings for her was the best news in the world, but that could not overshadow the confusion in Alex’s heart and mind. Blair knew too well what it was like to have feelings you couldn’t understand. Blair led the way, opening a path among the dancers with her left arm while creating a shield around Alex with her right arm. They didn’t look back to say goodbye, they just left.

  Chapter 7

  Everyone who had remained watching was astonished and happy when the pair left. “Oh God! Make it work.” Megan whispered her plea.

  After they left, there was some clapping from those who thought Blair would score that night. Those who knew her better just hoped that life would smile upon her and that she’d find the love she sought. Some just commented that they made a nice couple while others toasted and cheered all around. The DJ played ‘Celebration’ on Pat’s request, and she even got out on the dance floor and danced.

  The comments continued. “She’s beautiful, no wonder Blair is drooling over her.”

  “Looks like our girl is really in love!”

  “Yep, I say she’s taken!”

  “And for good too. I think they are a match made in heaven.”

  “The kind of thing that lasts, huh?”

  And of course, there were the jokers. “There goes your last hope Joan!” Joan was in her late fifties and she had always told Blair that she was the sexiest thing she’d ever seen. Joan made a disgruntled face and then laughed. Everyone loved Blair.

  “Yep. Let’s drink to true love!” Before long, the drinking and the dancing resumed and everyone forgot what they were dancing and drinking about, except Pat and Megan who continued to talk about the pair and to speculate on what would happen next.

  “Do you think our girl is getting lucky tonight?” Pat asked.

  Megan laughed. “Pat, I think our girl is already lucky. I think they are going somewhere to talk. Blair is not going to mess up. She won’t rush Alex into doing anything until she’s ready. Alex must be very confused if she has never had feelings for a woman. I know my sister. If anyone can work this out, it’s her. I’m just hoping for the best.”

  ***

  Once outside the bar, Alex and Blair stood in the parking lot. “I rode my bike here and I know you don’t like to ride it at night, and you are wearing a dress.” Blair looked at her and smiled timidly. “You look stunning in that dress. I don’t even know what to say.” Blair
looked to her feet after making her comment, not sure what was appropriate to say. She was still shaken from what had transpired inside the bar.

  Alex was just as confused as to what to say, but thought that honesty always worked best, especially with the people you trust. “Thanks. I wanted to look good for you tonight.”

  “I’m honored. Thanks.” But you always look great. Blair clenched her teeth trying to control the desires within her. “I think we should go in your car. It’s not safe to stand out here.” She took Alex by the arm and led her to the car.

  Alex took the keys out of her small bag and handed them to Blair. “Here, you drive. I feel a little nervous.”

  Blair took the keys and opened the passenger door for her. “Me too.”

  Trapped between the car and Blair, Alex raised her hand and gently brushed Blair’s face. Blair’s eyes filled with tears, tears that fell the minute she said what she had held inside for so long. “I love you. I love you so very much.” Blair’s lips quivered as she spoke.

  Filled with emotions beyond her control, Alex looked up into the teary blue eyes and as if pulled by an invisible force, she timidly brushed her lips to Blair’s and then with the same trepidation their lips met and parted to briefly taste their warmth and tenderness. The force of nature took over and the soft, tender kiss grew until their mouths were sealed.

  Blair slowly pulled away and brushed Alex's cheek with her fingertips, almost afraid to touch her. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long.” She put her fingers to Alex’s lips.

  “Me too,” Alex replied relieved to finally be able to admit it.

  “I need you to know that I feel as apprehensive as you do,” Blair said softly. “Maybe even more because I don’t want to frighten you more than you might already be.”

  Alex nodded. “I know. I may be frightened, but I feel good when I’m with you.” Alex murmured still engulfed in Blair’s arms.

  “Let’s not be afraid. Let’s talk about our feelings and try to understand them and take it all slow, okay?” She combed back a strand of Alex’s hair and smiled slightly. “What I feel for you is—.” She looked around and realized they were not alone in the parking lot. Alex followed her eyes and both saw a group of women arriving at the bar. “I think we better go. We need to go somewhere where we can talk in private.”

  The minute they got inside the car, Blair’s stomach grumbled, and she felt embarrassed. “Sorry, that was my stomach.”

  Alex smiled and thought to soften her embarrassment. “Have you had dinner?”

  Blair chuckled. “No, not even lunch. It was busy at the hospital, and then I rushed here and there was no time.”

  “We need to get you some food then. I could eat something too.” Alex thought that a little distraction would take away the intensity of the moment and would help them relax.

  Blair chuckled. “Thanks, I will probably make more sense with some food in my stomach. I don’t know where we would go other than a fast food place. It’s kind of late for any of the nicer restaurants.”

  “I know a place that is sure to take us,” Alex said.

  “In that case, do you mind if I stop by my house to change? I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’m wearing my scrub shirt. I forgot to bring a blouse to change into after work, and I didn’t want to waste time going home.”

  “Yes, I noticed, but if I may say, you look good in blue, and I don’t mind stopping so that you can change.”

  They traveled in silence with Blair shifting her attention between Alex and the road. Their eyes met a few times provoking a smile on both their faces. Blair could tell Alex had a lot on her mind and could almost sense her anxiety. The turn of events had shaken them and although in different ways, their worlds were upside down. Blair noticed that Alex was fidgeting with her fingers, while she instead was holding so tight to the steering wheel that she was hoping that her fingerprints would not leave permanent marks on the leather.

  As a distraction, Alex started a conversation. “This restaurant is a nice French restaurant. I know the owners. It’s a nice quiet place, we can talk there.”

  “Okay, but do you think it’s open? It’s kind of late. And do you think that’s a good place to go? French food is kind of skimpy and, to be honest, I’m really hungry.”

  Alex laughed. She knew that Blair was a big eater. “Even if they are closed, they will open for us, and we’ll ask for double portions for you.” Alex was still shaky when she looked at Blair.

  Blair took her hand. “Relax, we’ll talk, and it’s all going to be fine. Trust me.”

  “I know, it’s just that it’s all been too much too soon.”

  “Alex, I didn’t expect this outcome. I was torn to pieces tonight thinking that I was walking away from you forever, and yet here I am. I don’t know what to say or do when I’m around you. Most of the time I feel like an idiot. I’m still wondering why you invited me to dinner after the coffee shop debacle. I don’t think I’ve ever made such a fool of myself. And for whatever it’s worth, I will confess, that you are the only person who has ever made me shake. I mean, nothing like that has ever happened to me in my entire life. For God’s sake, I’m a surgeon. My hands are not supposed to shake! And tonight, I’m all shook up, like the Elvis song says!”

  Alex chuckled. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone, and fortunately for your patients, I will not be around when you are operating.”

  “Oh, God no, please! Hey, when I get home, if you don’t mind, I’m going to take a quick shower. I didn’t get a chance to do that either, and I probably have hospital smell.” Just about then, they arrived at Blair’s house. “Here we are.”

  “No, you don’t have hospital smell, but if it makes you feel better you can shower. I’ll wait.”

  “Okay, but I don't want you waiting in the car. Come inside, I’ll be quick.” Alex nodded and got out of the car. Blair rushed to her side, and they walked together towards the house. “Mrs. Carson might be here. She takes care of Pete when Megan works at the bar. She might be upstairs with him. She puts him to bed and then falls asleep on the sofa in his bedroom.” She opened the door and motioned for Alex to enter.

  When she stepped inside, Alex stood by the door not knowing what to do. Blair closed the door behind her and found the green orbs filled with tears. Instinctively, Alex crashed into her arms and Blair closed her eyes and held her. Alex clutched her scrubs, wrinkling the fabric with her hands. They held each other in silence for a little while.

  “I’m sorry. I feel . . . I don’t know what to do. I feel like my world is upside down.”

  “It’s okay, Alex. All will be fine, we will figure things out.”

  “How? I don’t want to let you go, but I can’t hold you hostage, until I fucking know what I want!” She paused burying her face into Blair again. “I know I love you, but I need to understand my feelings, and I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t think I’m making sense.” She continued to ramble.

  Blair listened to her and felt her anguish. She too was hurting from feeling Alex’s confusion. After a while, Blair pulled away from the embrace and combed Alex’s hair from her face and dried her tears with her hands. “Alex, listen to me. We are going to talk and be open about our feelings, and we are going to figure it out. My world is upside down too, and I can’t put it back in place until you put yours in place.” Alex looked confused by Blair’s words.

  Blair took her face in her hands and spoke softly. “Whatever happens, I need you to know that you are my priority. I love you Alex. I love you like I’ve never loved anyone or anything in my life ever before, and I am going to help you find yourself. That means that I’ll put your feelings and needs before mine. I want to be in your life, but only you can determine my role there. There’s no hurry. I don’t want anything rushed. There’s no need to do this or that. I need to know that you are comfortable. I don’t want emotions taking over and then having regrets. This is too important. You are too important. You are everything, Alex. You are everything to
me.” Alex gasped in tears.

  Blair continued to comb her hair. “And whatever the outcome, I will live with it. Whatever will be, will be. We are not going to do anything stupid. So, I need you to relax and feel good about you, about me, and about us. Let me go shower now, and we’ll go out to dinner, and we’ll talk more. I’ll be right back. Are you going to be alright for a few minutes?”

  Alex nodded and Blair kissed her on the forehead. She was trying by all means to avoid her lips. Blair went up the stairs taking two steps at a time. It was a small townhouse and she made it upstairs in no time. Two minutes later, Alex heard the shower running. Blair’s euphoria was dampened by her concern, but Alex loved her, and that was all she could think about.

  In the living room, Alex looked at the photos. There were photos of Megan and a man who must have been her husband. There were photos of a man and a woman who she assumed were their parents and there were photos of Pete and his resemblance to the adorable picture of a little girl with jet black hair and eyes as blue as the ocean. Alex took the photo in her hands and smiled. How beautiful!

  Less than five minutes later, a freshly showered Blair was standing next to her. She was wearing black slacks and a blue sweater, which brought out the darkness of her hair and the blue of her eyes. Alex ran her fingers through her hair. “It’s still wet.”

  “Yeah, it will dry on its own. Come on.”

  Alex couldn’t think of ever seeing anyone look so spectacularly sexy with no makeup, and wet hair. Blair was unpretentious, natural, spontaneous, and totally irresistible. “I want to kiss you.”

  Blair smiled almost in shock. “You do?”

  “Yes.” She took Blair’s face in her hands and kissed her. Her loins quivered when she did. Blair enjoyed the kiss but was not as responsive as Alex expected. “Not good?”