Caution: Witch In Progress

by Lynne North

  Bertha said it was all a bit pointless, and tried to perfect the art of snoozing with her eyes open.

  ‘Quite good, Haggie,’ said Miss Black. ‘And you too, Wanda. Once you all manage to do this, the principles are the same for any item. You will be able to make them come to you at will.’

  Gertie saw Bertha’s sit up straighter.

  ‘Make objects come to me?’ she muttered to Gertie. ‘I hadn’t thought of that. Now that could be really useful. I could get my goodies to float over to me, rather than having to climb off my bed to go to get them. That’s worth a try, though I don’t see the point in making a pencil float about. I know, I’ll convince myself it’s a chocolate bar.’ Bertha was soon getting definite twitches out of the pencil.

  Gertie saw this, and it gave her more hope. If Bertha could do it, the little witch was sure she could too. With that belief beginning to dawn, she had more success.

  By the end of the lesson, everyone’s pencil had at least been in the air, even if only temporarily, and not very high. Gertie’s pencil had managed a hover of a few moments over her desktop, which made her so pleased.

  Bertha’s pencil had risen almost as high as her mouth, which no one but Bertha and Gertie truly understood.

  Bertha said she had actually found something that could be useful to learn, for the first time since entering the Academy.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Gertie awoke with the same confusion she had every other day. Even though she had been at the Academy for a while now, her first thoughts on waking were still always of her own room in Vile Vale. She expected the familiar sights to greet her as she opened her eyes. It was at that point she remembered she would be seeing her own room today! It was her Birthday. As yet, she didn’t feel any different for being ten years old. Anyway, Ma and Gran would soon be on their way. In fact, maybe they’d set off already. Even Bertha’s ma had been persuaded to make an early start and miss her usual lie-in. There would be no going back to bed after breakfast for Bertha today!

  Gertie had decided she didn’t need to take any clothes home with her, because she would be coming back to the Academy tomorrow. She had left enough at home for a change of clothes. Owl would go with her, but Wart was being left with Lily. He probably wouldn’t even notice she’d gone, because she went to visit him before breakfast and would be back to see him later on tomorrow.

  Gertie was so excited she could hardly eat her breakfast. Bertha was pleased to help. She wished Gertie a Happy Birthday, and said her ma was bringing her present along. Even Bertha seemed quite excited about a visit to Vile Vale. Her ma would take Jasper home with her for the weekend.

  Both girls were stood outside the Academy with Jasper as soon as breakfast was over, their eyes fixed skywards looking for any signs of broomsticks. Gertie knew Owl wasn’t far away.

  Gertie didn’t have long to wait before she saw two brooms fast approaching. It was Ma and Gran. The older witch yelled ‘Happy Birthday, Gertie!’ from high above long before the pair came in to land. Whether Gertie was now in double figures or not, she still squealed and clapped her hands in excitement while waiting for the brooms to swoop down. Birthday hugs and kisses followed, accompanied by everyone talking at once. Gertie suddenly realised that Bertha was standing quietly, being ignored.

  ‘You remember Bertha, don’t you?’ she asked Ma and Gran.

  ‘Who could forget,’ answered Gran.

  Bertha gave Gran a pointy toothed grin that made her face look even fatter.

  Gran looked down as if she felt a bit guilty, but it wouldn’t last long. Gran didn’t do guilty.

  Gertie thought that Gran misjudged Bertha, who was clearly so pleased that Gran hadn’t forgotten her. She hoped they would be friends in time.

  Owl came flapping over and landed on Gertie’s shoulder.

  ‘Did you see that?’ asked Gran open-mouthed. ‘He didn’t check us all to see which of us, if any, was Gertie!’

  Gertie excitedly told them both about auras, and bonds with familiars. She then went on to tell them how Owl had learned to zoom in.

  Bertha joined in too by saying things like, ‘And Gertie even turned the other way and muffled her voice to confuse him when she called him back.’

  Gran listened and watched with interest on her face.

  Gertie was so happy to have her family and best friend here, all together.

  They sat on a couple of benches to await Bertha’s ma. Well, Gertie, Ma and Gran sat on one, and Bertha filled the other. No one looked more surprised than Gran when Bertha’s ma arrived quite soon after. Gertie had heard her moaning to Ma Grimthorpe that the day could well be nearly over before she arrived.

  Ma Bobbit looked a little bleary-eyed, as people not used to getting up early often do. She hugged Bertha, and then turned to Gertie with a big box in her hands.

  ‘Here you are, Poppet,’ she smiled. ‘Happy Birthday! This is from Bertha and myself.’

  ‘Oh, thank you!’ replied Gertie, with no idea what was in the heavy box.

  ‘Well go on then,’ encouraged Ma Bobbit. ‘Take a look inside.’

  Gertie put the box down on the bench and took the top off. It was crammed with chocolate bars, biscuits, cakes and sweets.

  ‘I thought you needed building up a bit,’ explained Ma Bobbit. ‘You’re so thin, you don’t look healthy.’

  Gertie didn’t take any offence as she knew the smiling witch meant well. She heard her Ma hush Gran, when she hissed. ‘Did you hear that?’ Fortunately Ma Bobbit was chatting away to Bertha paying them no attention.

  ‘Never mind,’ whispered Ma. ‘Gertie doesn’t look hurt. Just see how happy she is.’

  Gran appeared pacified when she turned back to look at Gertie’s excited little face beaming at her, so bit her tongue.

  ‘It will take me to next birthday to eat all these,’ said Gertie with a happy smile.

  ‘Oh, I’m sure Bertha will help you to eat them,’ replied Ma Bobbit.

  ‘I bet she will,’ muttered Gran.

  ‘Oh yes, shall we start now?’ asked Bertha, hope in her piggy eyes.

  ‘How about taking them to your room for when you come back, so we can set off for home?’ suggested Ma.

  ‘Yes, I so want to get home,’ agreed Gertie. ‘Won’t be a min.’ Leaving Owl with Ma, she turned to run off to her room with the box. She then saw Bertha’s face fall.

  ‘Now, Bertha,’ said her ma. ‘Don’t look like that. You know I’ll bring your box for the week here when I’m on my way to collect you tomorrow. I’m sure Miss Wick will let me pop it into your room with Jasper until we arrive back.’

  Bertha still sulked that they couldn’t at least make a start on Gertie’s. She didn’t have long to sulk however as Gertie handed a bar of nutty chocolate to her before heading off with the box. ‘Here, Bertha,’ she said. ‘I know this is one of your favourites.’

  ‘Now isn’t that nice,’ she heard Ma Bobbit say. ‘What a kind friend you have, Bertha.’

  ‘Hmm,’ replied Bertha through a mouthful of chocolate bar.

  Gertie was back in no time. ‘Let’s go home!’ she squealed. She climbed onto Ma’s broom behind her, and Owl travelled with Gran.

  ‘Follow us,’ said Ma with a smile at Ma Bobbit, and off they flew. Gertie turned around to watch Ma Bobbit take off with Bertha on the back, clutching Jasper and her overnight bag. She wondered how both witches would even fit on one broomstick, never mind get off the ground. It was quite a large broom, but Gertie still doubted they would get into the air. They did, easily. Miss Black knows her stuff, thought Gertie. She’s right. Size doesn’t matter.

  She then turned to face front again. She was going home. Gertie felt the wind whistling through her hair as they began the journey she had been so looking forward to, the flight back to Vile Vale.

  Arriving back at the village was a wonderful feeling for Gertie. She could see all the houses and buildings she knew so well coming closer and closer as Ma went in to land in their garden. Grothilde sp
otted them, and called out ‘Happy Birthday, Gertie luv, see you later!’

  ‘Thank you, Grothilde,’ Gertie called back, cheerfully waving.

  Bertha and her ma landed quite gracefully, considering their combined weight. They followed Gertie into the cottage. The little witch breathed in the dusty smell of home with her eyes closed. It was so good to be back. Ma Bobbit stayed for a devil cake (or three) with a cup of tea, and then set off home with Jasper, telling Bertha she would see her tomorrow.

  At last, Gertie was left with her family, and best friend.

  ‘Well now, my Gertie,’ said Ma with a smile. ‘I think it’s time we gave you your birthday presents, don’t you?’

  Gertie clapped her hands in glee ‘Oh Mummy, it’s so exciting!’

  Ma gave her a small black box.

  ‘Can I open it now?’ Gertie asked.

  ‘Oh yes, do, do,’ called Bertha with enthusiasm.

  Gertie didn’t understand Bertha’s interest, because the box didn’t look like it could hold anything to eat. Nevertheless, she opened it with trembling fingers and peered inside. There, winking at her from a bed of red velvet, was a beautiful shining silver pentacle. ‘Oh, Mummy!’ she squealed. ‘I love it! Put it on for me, please.’

  Ma carefully hung the chain around Gertie’s neck and fastened the strong clasp. ‘It’s made of real silver,’ she said. ‘That’s the metal of the moon and psychic forces. It’s a witch’s special symbol of protection.’

  Gertie thought for a moment, and then said, ‘I think I feel all protected already.’

  Ma chuckled. ‘Good,’ she replied. ‘I will always protect you, Gertie, and if I’m not around, my gift will do the protecting for me.’

  ‘Well, do you want your present from me now, you little imp?’ asked Gran.

  ‘Oh, I love presents!’ the young witch exclaimed, taking the larger, square box from Gran. Lifting the black lid, she peeped in at a perfect crystal ball sat amongst black silk. ‘Gran! My own crystal ball!’ said Gertie excitedly.

  ‘That’s right,’ said Gran with a smile. ‘Just don’t try to levitate it yet. Anyway, Miss Wick said you’ll be having crystal ball lessons soon, so I thought you should have your own. No grandchild of mine is going to have a borrowed one to practice on. Also, once you get the hang of it, it’ll help your Ma keep an eye on you.’

  ‘How do you mean?’ asked Gertie, puzzled.

  ‘Well, not like those new fangled megaphone thingies that normal folks use…’ began Gran.

  ‘Telephones, mother,’ corrected Ma.

  ‘Yes, them too,’ continued Gran. ‘Anyway, not like them, but we’ll be able to see you every so often when you get the hang of it, and you’ll be able to look in it and see us too.’

  ‘Really!’ said Gertie.

  ‘It’s a bit like wishing for what you want to see,’ explained Ma. ‘It won’t be easy at first, but after a while you should be able to catch sight of us. If you want to, that is.’

  ‘More than anything!’ said Gertie. ‘I miss you both so much when I’m not here.’

  Ma looked sad and gave Gertie a big hug.

  Gran said, ‘No tears! It’s Gertie’s birthday, Why not show Bertha your room while we start to get things ready for your party.’

  ‘Party!’ shrieked Gertie.

  ‘Only a little party,’ replied Ma. ‘Just us and your friend, and Grothilde is coming over.’

  ‘Oh what a wonderful birthday!’ Gertie said with a huge grin. ‘Come on Bertha, let’s go to see my room.’

  Gertie’s room looked surprisingly small to her, then she realised why. It now contained an extra single bed up against the right hand wall.

  Ma followed Gertie in and explained. ‘That’s for Bertha to sleep in. I borrowed it from Grothilde’s spare room for the weekend.’

  ‘I hope it didn’t cause you a lot of trouble,’ said Bertha, looking pleased they had made plans for her too.

  ‘Oh there was no problem getting it over to the house,’ Ma said. ‘Grothilde cast one of her animation spells on it. It walked out of Grothilde’s cottage, sauntered through the village, and into our home. Just in case you haven’t already guessed, Bertha, Grothilde’s favourite spells are animation ones. If anything looks like it might be able to move, Grothilde gives it the chance to. Whatever it is. Her home would be like a busy main road if things decided to all move around at once. There’ll be no problem with your bed as long as it doesn’t decide to walk back to Grothilde’s in the middle of the night, complete with you’ said Ma. ‘Grothilde’s spells are known to be a bit temperamental.’

  Bertha looked a little alarmed until she realised Ma was joking. She stared around with a dreamy look on her face. ‘It’s really nice,’ she finally said. ‘All friendly and cosy.’

  Ma returned to help Gran, and Gertie went to the wardrobe to hang up her travelling cloak.

  ‘Oh, it’s you at last!’ began Bat, the second the door swung open. ‘Where have you been without me? I hope you got bloomin’ wet, often, for leaving me like that.’

  Bertha stepped forward to see what was making all the fuss.

  ‘Oh, a talking umbrella,’ she said. ‘Cool!’

  ‘WHOOA!’ exclaimed Bat. ‘Who’s the Fatso?’

  Gertie slammed the door shut again quickly.

  ‘I don’t like talking umbrellas,’ Bertha said quietly.

  ‘Hey. Come on. I’m only joking. Let me out,’ persuaded Bat through the thick wooden door.

  ‘Come on, Bertha,’ said Gertie, thoroughly embarrassed by Bat yet again. Now she really knew she was home. ‘Leave your bag there, and let’s go back to Ma and Gran. Maybe the party will be nearly ready!’

  That did the trick. Just as Gertie had hoped, the thought of lots of party food seemed to sweep any thought of Bat from Bertha’s mind. She was out of the door so quick Gertie had trouble keeping up with her.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The party wasn’t quite ready yet. Ma said they were waiting for Grothilde to arrive.

  Seeing Bertha’s disappointed face, Gertie said ‘I’m sure she won’t be long.’

  Gertie had so much to tell Ma and Gran now she was actually good at some things she was learning at the Academy. She talked so much, she soon made up for the time she had spent away from home. Owl came flying back in every so often, obviously checking on his new power to zoom in. He seemed able to do it now wherever Gertie was.

  Ma looked over at Bertha who was sat quietly in the corner. ‘What are you good at, Bertha?’ she asked.

  Gertie was pleased Ma was trying to bring her friend into the conversation.

  ‘Well, I guess I’m quite good at levitation,’ Bertha replied, looking around the room for something to demonstrate with.

  ‘Not my crystal ball!’ called Gran. ‘I haven’t had it for very long,’ she added more quietly when Bertha nearly jumped out of her ample skin.

  Conversation fell again, and the Grimthorpe’s sat waiting for Grothilde to arrive. Gertie had heard Gran say earlier in the scullery ‘We must wait for Grothilde before we release the food to Bertha, or there certainly won’t be anything left when she arrives.’ She hoped Bertha hadn’t heard too, but she didn’t seem to have.

  ‘So, is your house like this, Bertha?’ Gran asked, breaking the awkward silence. Bertha had been looking around at everything with interest.

  ‘Uhm. Not really,’ replied Bertha, a bit evasively, Gertie thought.

  ‘Why, where do you live?’ Gran asked.

  ‘Uhm, Baddington,’ replied Bertha almost too quietly for Gertie to catch the name.

  ‘Baddington?’ asked Gran, her mind clearly working overtime.

  ‘Yes’ replied Bertha, beginning to blush.

  ‘So,’ Gran began in disbelief, ‘You’re never a Bobbit of Baddington, are you?’

  ‘Er, yes,’ replied poor Bertha, now bright red.

  ‘Mother! Whatever is wrong with you?’ asked Ma. ‘Can’t you see that you’re making Bertha feel uncomfortable?’


  ‘Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of the Bobbits of Baddington?’ spluttered Gran in disbelief. ‘Have you never read “Which Witch”? They’re loaded. Their fortune goes back for generations. Isn’t that right, Bertha?’ she asked with a conspiratorial wink.

  ‘Well, I guess so,’ agreed the big girl.

  ‘It’s no wonder you’re so fa…such a well built girl,’ Gran corrected herself just in time.

  ‘So, you’re rich?’ asked Gertie, noticing that Gran had decided to be nice to Bertha now for some reason.

  ‘Well, not me, but I sort of guess so,’ replied Bertha. ‘Does it matter?’

  ‘No, of course not,’ Gertie answered quickly. ‘You’re still my best friend whether you’re rich or poor.’

  Bertha beamed.

  ‘Good answer, Gertie lass,’ said Gran. ‘Keep well in with your good friend.’

  The embarrassing silence of everyone trying to get used to the knowledge about Bertha was broken by a knock on the door. Grothilde had arrived.

  Gran went to the door and in came Grothilde, followed by a chair. Smaller than Grothilde’s animated chair, it was upholstered in midnight blue material patterned by silver half moons.

  ‘Here’s your present, luv,’ announced Grothilde, gesturing to the chair. ‘Happy Birthday, Gertie!’

  ‘For me!’ exclaimed Gertie, rather overwhelmed. ‘An animated chair for me!’

  Go on then, try it. Get it used to your voice,’ said Grothilde with a crooked smile, one eye on Gertie and the other checking out Bertha.

  ‘Who, me?’ asked Bertha.

  ‘Oh, hello, you must be Bertha,’ said the cross-eyed witch turning fully towards her. ‘No silly. Gertie. It’s her birthday.’

  ‘ I know that, I just thought you were looking at me,’ said Bertha looking embarrassed all over again.

  ‘You’ll soon get used to Grothilde,’ said Gran to Bertha. ‘Come on, our Gertie!’ she added.

  Gertie smiled excitedly, and then said ‘Chair.’