Strip Search

by Erin McCarthy

  “They’re filming Wedding Crashers,” she responded, sounding excited. “Sadie isn’t here but they are doing a bunch of interviews and site prep for the wedding next weekend. Lakefront ceremony, I’m guessing.”

  “Who is Sadie?” he asked, craning to see if he could catch a glimpse of Leighton.

  She gasped and looked at him like he was an amoeba. “Sadie Spencer. The host. She’s famous. Though I did hear rumors they are looking to replace her with someone younger. Like maybe Sadie Robinson, the daughter from Duck Dynasty. Which honestly, she’d be adorable doing this, don’t you think?”

  She’d lost him entirely. He didn’t even know who she was talking about. “Uh. Sure.”

  “I mean, a Sadie after a Sadie. It’s perfect.”

  Then he totally lost the thread of conversation because he’d spotted Leighton. She was wearing a pink sundress and giant sunglasses. She had her phone in her hand and she was moving around with authority, talking to the crew and Winnie. She looked confident, completely different from the night before. Being in charge seemed more her element than a bachelorette party.

  “Hey, aren’t you the cop from Tap That last night?” the woman asked him. She covered her youngest daughter’s ears with her palms. “The stripper?” she whispered.

  Her older daughter gave a crack of laughter. “I thought you went to book club, Mom.”

  “I did! Then we went to a charity event.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “It really is a charity event,” Axl told the daughter. “And ma’am, I’m not a stripper. I’m actually a police officer. We do the dance to honor Kendra O’Toole and raise money for breast cancer research. It’s meant to be fun and get some attention.”

  “You got my attention all right.” She eyed him appreciatively.

  “Ew,” her daughter said. “Mom, stop, seriously, before I need therapy.”

  That made Axl laugh. “That’s a two-way street, kid.”

  “Listen to the policeman,” the woman said, finally dropping her hands from her younger daughter’s ears.

  “Have a nice day,” Axl said. He gave a wave, did a few stretches, and started running again. He went closer to the LA crew just to get a better look at Leighton.

  His shirt was tucked in the waistband of his gym shorts. He realized a little too late running shirtless could be perceived as intentional. Showing off.

  But Leighton was so wrapped up in studying her phone and consulting with her colleagues that she didn’t even notice him.

  Damn, there was something so sweet and vulnerable and strong and sexy about her. She seemed like she was very complex. Layered. Intriguing.

  It wasn’t often he was this curious about a woman. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time. Of course, at this point in his life, five years out of the marines, he knew all the single females in Beaver Bend. There were no surprises. A sea of familiar faces.

  Then there was this woman. Totally different from his type, according to Lilly and Sloane. But someone he wanted to sit across the table from and talk to. He wanted to hear what she had to say, because he had a feeling she wasn’t a flirt. She would say whatever she meant. Like him.

  Okay, and he wanted to take her to bed and fuck her. There was that. He definitely couldn’t shake the image of her ankles on his shoulders thanks to that cameraman. She had a very juicy figure. The kind you slap and tickle and bite.

  And pound.

  Axl cleared his throat. Yeah. He needed to get laid. That was clear.

  But there was no reason for him to hang around when she wasn’t glancing his way at all, so Axl returned to his run.

  Thirty minutes later he was home, in a cold shower.

  No Cali girl for him, not even for a few days. He wasn’t going to be an asshole and track her down.

  * * *

  Two hours after that he was doing basic patrol when a red sedan with Illinois plates flew past him doing way over the speed limit.

  He threw on his lights and pulled the car over in a routine traffic stop.

  But when he came up to the window and opened his mouth, he was shocked to see Leighton behind the wheel, looking at him in exasperation. He found himself pleased that she was a little speed demon. It gave him another opportunity to talk to her.

  “Hi, Leighton,” he said. “Are you aware you were going twenty miles over the speed limit?”

  “Oh, I get it,” she said, staring up at him, hands raking her wavy hair back off her face. “Is there where you tell me you’re giving me a ticket for being sexy or something canned like that?”

  It wasn’t often that Axl found himself speechless. Or so thoroughly confused. But completely amused. “Excuse me? You were speeding. I need to see your driver’s license. I’m guessing this is a rental car, so if you have the rental agreement I’d like to see that too, please.”

  Axl bent down and swept his eyes over the vehicle. There was nothing noteworthy. Just Leighton’s purse on the passenger seat and her phone in the cup holder. There was a camera on the dash, which struck him as odd, but maybe it was for filming bits for the wedding show. He had no clue how those shows worked.

  Leighton shot him a look he couldn’t decipher. “What if I say no? Does that mean you’ll have to pat me down? Hopefully?”

  He glanced at the camera again. Was he on TV, being punked? Or was Leighton just nuts? Because she looked a little glassy-eyed, to be honest, and sounded nothing like she had the night before. “I need to see your driver’s license.”

  * * *

  Leighton tried to channel bringing it. What would bringing it entail in this circumstance?

  Flirting. Sexual innuendo. Being brazen and bold.

  She took a deep breath and reminded herself how much she loved her job and how high her rent was. If this was a test from Sadie, having her fake pulled over by a stripper cop, she had to pass it. Play along.

  “You’re really sticking to character. I admire that. Big, tough cop. Picture of authority.” She reached for her purse and pulled out her wallet. She produced her license with a smile and an exaggerated wink. “Here you go, Officer Hottie.”

  Just saying that almost killed her. She felt ridiculous.

  Axl didn’t look like he was buying it either. He looked dubious at best.

  “Leighton Van Buren. Age twenty-six. Beverly Hills. You live in Beverly Hills?” he asked, sounding surprised.

  Why did he sound so stunned? She had been raised in Beverly Hills. It wasn’t like she’d bought a fake ID on the internet. So typical. Everyone always wanted her to be someone or something she wasn’t.

  “I was living with my parents when I got this license. I have my own apartment now in Silver Lake.” Now she was oversharing for no reason. Awkward.

  “I’m going to go run your license. I’ll be right back.”

  She panicked. She’d gotten distracted. She wasn’t flirting or getting good footage. There was a dashcam in her rental car and for all she knew, Sadie was sitting back in the office scoring her live.

  “Is that when you ask me to spread ‘em?” Leighton winked at him a second time. Or attempted to wink. It was more of an exaggerated squint this time. Her voice sounded more manic than flirtatious.

  Axl eyed her. Not with interest, but wariness. “Leighton, I need you to step out of the car.”

  She hid a wince. Dang it. This was a full-on disaster. Closing her eyes for one brief second, she imagined what her best friend, Zach, would say in these circumstances. Zach was sassy and confident and a wicked flirt.

  “It’s about time.” She opened the door and rose to her full height, which wasn’t much. She barely came up to his shoulders. God, he was really sexy. Just so broad and manly and stern. It made her heart rate increase and her nipples start to firm beneath her sundress.

  She held her wrists out to him. “Are you going to cuff me for being naughty?” she asked, going for seductive. “Do I have to bribe my way out of this?”

  His eyebrows shot up. “Have you been drinking? Or
taking prescription drugs?”

  If someone had written a script for him, they should be fired. What a dumb line. There was nothing sexy about narcotics. “Of course not! It’s two in the afternoon.”

  “I’m going to need you to take a breathalyzer. Do you know what that is?”

  Ah, here it was. A blow job joke. “Sure. Just tell me where to blow.” Her gaze dropped down to his crotch.

  “I need you to come and get in the car, Leighton.”

  This wasn’t going the way Leighton had expected. She was flirting as hard as she could with Axl and he didn’t seem to be getting it. Maybe Sadie had paid him to stay in character to a certain point.

  But this was way harder than she had imagined. Wasn’t it a stripper’s job to make the “customer” happy? Her own job was on the line and she was blowing it. Or not blowing it, apparently, since he hadn’t reacted positively to her innuendo. Or wait, had he? Is that why he wanted her to get in his car?

  Oh, hell no. No matter how much she needed this job and no matter how good looking Axl was, the thought alone made her sweat. She didn’t give blowjobs on the side of the road to anyone. Actually, it had never come up in her life before but it just figured that somehow her flirting sucked so hard he thought she wanted to suck hard.

  Disaster. She was a total disaster.

  But she needed Sadie to think she was going along with this whole fake cop stripper pulling her over.

  It was the game. Part of “bringing it.”

  Sadie had been quite clear again this morning on what she needed to do. She had specifically said that today there would be a test. A big test she needed to pass. That Leighton had to be bubbly and flirty and fun. Always the f word.

  That damn f word.

  Not to mention sparkle. And now bringing it. All phrases that could die, because they were vague and subjective.

  If this wasn’t the test, she had no idea what would be. This had Sadie written all over it. Pulled over by a cop. Please. She hadn’t been driving that fast.

  But now she was freaked out because if he whipped it out in his patrol car she would faint. Plus, Axl wanted to take her out of camera range. She had a dashboard cam that was meant for Winnie to record a video diary about the Wedding Crashers process and her expectations for her wedding but once Leighton had seen Axl come to the window, she had turned it on. Proof that she got the joke and could roll with it.

  So, she had to stay in range. “Um, I don’t think so.” She tried to lean back against her car artfully, but she partially fell into the open window. Righting herself, she laughed and fluttered her eyelashes at him. “Whoops.”

  “I need you to come with me, miss.”

  He sounded very stern. “Oh, you are so serious.” For a stripper he was a good actor. She’d give him that. It was very difficult for her not to be obedient. It was just her personality to follow directions.

  But she had to stay strong. Her future at Wedding Crashers rested on it. She stayed put, trying to strike a sexy pose against the car.

  “I need you to walk a straight line for me from your car to my patrol car. Stay away from the road.”

  If she walked over there she could just walk back and be in camera range again so that Sadie could see she was fun and flirty. It seemed like her best bet. So she did, fast-walking in a straight line and immediately returning. “Done.”

  He flashed a light in her eyes.

  “What the heck?” she asked, pupils dilating. “That kind of hurts.”

  “I need you to hand me your purse. What prescription drugs do you take on a daily basis?”

  Leighton frowned. “None.” Well, birth control, but that was none of his business. She was starting to think something was wrong here. “Where did you get an actual patrol car from? That’s very impressive.” That must have cost a ton of money. She had witnessed Sadie go to great lengths to create elaborate pranks on staff members but this seemed extreme even for her.

  A niggle of concern started to rise in Leighton.

  Maybe Sadie would fire her before she went to these elaborate lengths. This was an elaborate scheme, even for a TV host with a full crew at her disposal. Now she was full of doubt about everything.

  “Okay. You’re coming with me.”

  Axl grabbed her arm and she had to admit she felt a shiver that had nothing to do with concern. His strong grip was arousing. But then he whirled her around and slapped handcuffs on her left wrist.

  “What—”

  So she had joked about spreading them. She hadn’t actually meant it. They weren’t in a club at a strip show. This was the side of the road.

  Her other wrist went into the cuffs.

  Her concern increased dramatically.

  “Just stand still. I’m patting you down then I’m putting you in the car to run your license.”

  This felt a little too real. Leighton swallowed hard and leaned against her car. She gave a startled squawk when he spread her legs. “Um, what is going on?”

  She was torn between feeling a little aroused by how hot Axl was and how he was running his hands over her calves, and at the same time feeling like: one, something was off, and two, she could not let a total stranger dive under her dress even if it was part of his script.

  It wasn’t a particularly comfortable position with her hands behind her back and her body off-balance, relying on her rental car to hold her up. Axl’s hands were rising higher and higher and she grew seriously alarmed. When he touched her inner thighs just above the knee she jumped.

  And tried to move away. She wasn’t sure if he was intending to go any further but she wasn’t sticking around to find out. Leighton jerked her body to the left, slamming into the mirror and wincing, stumbling backwards.

  Suddenly without warning, she lost her balance and without her hands to right herself, she went down hard, right on her butt. It hurt. Like, a lot. “Ow.” She sat there stunned, hair in her face, dress up over her thighs, hands cuffed behind her back. “Okay, I admit it. Sadie wins. This isn’t fun. I’m not fun. F the f word. Maybe I am not cut out for this.”

  “Are you okay?” Axl asked, bending over.

  She nodded. “I think so.” She was going to have a hell of a bruise on her ass, but she would live.

  “I’m going to touch you to help you up, okay?”

  He was talking to her like she might spook if he laid a finger on her.

  That’s when she heard the radio in his car crackle and a very official sounding voice come on mentioning codes and something about a patrol car needed downtown.

  Leighton frowned. She had a horrible sinking feeling. “Wait a minute. Are you a real cop?”

  Axl hauled her to her feet in front of her car. “What do you mean? Of course I’m a real cop. These don’t give these cars, a badge, and a gun to just anyone who asks for one.” He was eyeing her like she was insane or an idiot.

  She wasn’t certifiable but she still felt pretty stupid. “I thought you were a stripper,” she said. “You were stripping last night,” she added, in case he had stumbled up on stage during an amnesia episode.

  But now that she blew her hair out of her face and studied him from head to toe, he did look very legit. He had a gun. He had very shiny shoes. And a uniform that had an official-looking insignia. His hat had a patrolman’s number on it. She swallowed the enormous lump that had started crawling up her throat.

  Well.

  This could be bad.

  “It was a charity event,” he said. “For breast cancer awareness. The owner of the bar, he and I and the other guys go way back, to grade school. Sullivan lost his wife to breast cancer two years ago so this is the second annual ‘Tap That’ charity event.” He did the actual air quotes.

  She couldn’t see his eyes behind his sunglasses but the corner of his mouth turned up. “I don’t use my official uniform on stage and it’s a small town. It’s like when cops do lip sync videos. It’s meant to foster a sense of community.”

  “Naked chests can do that,” she
said, in all seriousness. That was certainly true in LA.

  Axl laughed. “So, Leighton Van Buren, from Beverly Hills, what in the actual hell did you think was happening here if you didn’t think I was a real police officer?”

  That was a good question. And an embarrassing one. Her throat started to close. She grabbed at her chest, massaging her skin and rolling her shoulders to try to relax. “I thought my boss set me up. She said I need to be more spontaneous. More fun. So I thought she was monitoring me on the dash cam and that if I wasn’t flirty she would be upset with me and fire me.” For a second she got lightheaded but she fought the sensation. “I was trying to bring it. You know. Create a moment. Manufacture a reaction.” Now she was babbling and she forced herself to stop talking.

  For a second Axl didn’t say anything. Then he dragged his hand over his mouth, his jaw working. He reached up and removed his sunglasses. There was amusement in his eyes.

  Thank goodness. She may still be arrested for harassing an officer, but hopefully he would go easy on her. Her palms were clammy.

  “Leighton. I’m actually speechless. That’s the most… interesting attempt to get out of a ticket I’ve ever heard.” He tucked his glasses in his shirt pocket. “Can I assume then that you are not on drugs, legal or illegal, or alcohol?”

  “Yes. You can assume that.”

  “I’m still going to run your license.” He held his hand up. “You behave yourself. No more sexual innuendos while I’m on duty. Save them for later.” He capped that off with a wink to indicate he was teasing her.

  Nonetheless, her cheeks were on fire. She wanted to dig a hole in the asphalt and bury her head in it. “I think my flirting skills are subpar.”

  “Your flirting skills are just fine. I was debating if I was going to have to arrest you for attempting to bribe a police officer with sex though.”

  “Holy crap,” she blurted out. “That would have been bad. Really bad. Like so bad.” She would die. Actually die. She pictured her parents getting that phone call from Sadie. “That is not what I meant, you know.”

  Leighton offered to blow a cop to get out of a ticket.