Love for Scale

by Michaela Greene

  Rachel needed a few minutes to wrap her brain around what might be going on. Coming up empty, she figured she would just call and find out. But she certainly wasn’t calling Brian back until she talked to Sheri.

  Sheri answered after only one ring. “Hello?”

  “Hey, Sher, what’s going on?”

  “Oh God, Rach, I’m so glad you called,” Sheri breathed into the phone.

  “What’s going on?” Rachel repeated.

  “Brian asked me to move in with him.”

  Rachel swallowed. “Wow, so soon?” she asked. “That’s great, though,” she added quickly.

  “No, it’s not good. It is too soon. I freaked. We were in bed at my apartment, you know, right after…well, you know. Anyway, he said he loved me and then asked me to move into the townhouse and I just thought of Sunny and Glen and would they get along, and having to give up my apartment…I just couldn’t do it, I freaked …” Sheri was spitting out the words faster than Rachel could comprehend them.

  Rachel closed her eyes. “So wait a minute, he asked you to move in?”

  “Yeah,” Sheri gasped.

  The invoice for the keys in Brian’s townhouse suddenly made sense. “And you freaked and told him what, exactly?”

  “I broke up with him!” Sheri’s voice contracted into a squeak.

  Rachel’s heart jumped. “You did what?”

  “I ditched him. I panicked and threw him out of my place.”

  So why is he calling me?

  Trying to be rational, Rachel sorted her thoughts. “I thought you really liked this guy.”

  “I do, I did…I mean, I don’t know anymore.” A sob escaped her. “Rach.”

  “I’m coming over.” Rachel cradled the phone on her shoulder as she slid out of her work pants, replacing them with a pair of worn-in jeans.

  “No, Rach, you don’t have to.”

  “Bullshit, you’re a train wreck. I’m on my way.”

  “Thanks, Rach,” Sheri sobbed into the phone. “You’re the best.”

  “I’ll be there in ten.” Rachel hung up the phone and looked at her journal where she’d jotted down Brian’s number. She’d deal with him later. Until then, her best friend needed consoling.

  * * *

  By the time Rachel got to Sheri’s and stopped her friend from crying (thanks in part to her stopping for a box of comfort: Krispy Kreme’s, which she swore she wouldn’t touch, but they smelled sooooo good), it was well past ten. Rachel was exhausted: between work and the drama that had begun at her Weight Watchers meeting, continued with the latke debacle and culminated with Sheri’s crisis, she was emotionally drained. But she had to be there for Sheri to nod and console and listen to her friend’s twisted logic. She hadn’t told Sheri about the message Brian had left on her machine, deciding she would talk to Brian first to see what he wanted, before complicating things further.

  “I just can’t see myself moving in with him,” Sheri said, her voice muffled by a mouthful of warm donut. “I mean, he’s nice and all, but I can’t give up my place, you know?” The rest of Sheri’s donut was pinched between her thumb and forefinger.

  Rachel’s gaze was fixated on the donut. She shook it off, refocusing on her friend. “Yeah, you’ve got a great place here.” Maybe if she played with Sunny, it would occupy her hands and distract her from the donuts. She snapped her fingers at the little dog, trying to entice him onto the couch. He looked up from his rawhide boot Sheri had brought home (out of guilt for leaving him for the weekend, no doubt), ascertained that there was no food involved and returned to his toy.

  “I don’t know. What should I do, Rach?”

  “Only you can answer that, Sheri. But you kinda dumped him already. Shouldn’t you have thought about this before you did that?” Rachel looked down at the Krispy Kreme box. Only two gone, plenty left for Sheri to consume. And Sheri wouldn’t mind if she had just one, after all, Rachel had bought them.

  Sheri sighed. “Yeah, I just panicked, I don’t know. I guess I really do have a commitment problem.”

  “It does seem to be a recurring theme,” Rachel agreed.

  The phone rang. Sheri leaned over to look at it. “It’s him. I’m not picking it up.”

  They waited for the fourth ring and the voicemail picked up. They sat there in silence until the phone flashed and Sheri picked it up, dialed into voicemail and put it on speaker.

  Brian’s voice was as clear as if he’d been sitting on the couch beside them. “Babe, it’s me, please. Why won’t you take my calls? Call me, please?”

  “Nope,” Sheri said even though Brian couldn’t hear her.

  “Babe, I want to work this out, but I can’t do anything if you won’t talk to me.”

  Rachel felt bad for Brian. He didn’t deserve Sheri’s bad treatment. She would never have treated him so badly.

  “See?” said Sheri as she pressed a button and erased the message.

  Staring at her friend, Rachel shook her head. “Um, no, I don’t think so.”

  “He’s so willing to forgive me even though I had a conniption on him. That’s just weird.”

  “Ugh, you’re just looking for reasons to get rid of this guy,” Rachel said, wondering how many Weight Watchers points were in one of the donuts. It couldn’t be that bad: they were so light and airy. And God help her, delicious.

  Sheri pushed the box across the table toward Rachel. “Did you want one of these?”

  Rachel, shook her head, thinking of the latkes, “I really shouldn’t.”

  “Then I’m putting them away. You’re practically having eye sex with them.” She got up from the couch, taking the box into the kitchen. Sunny followed her, always willing to accompany someone when they had food in their hand.

  Rachel sighed, thankful that her friend had taken away the source of the torture. “So what are you going to do?”

  Sheri returned to the living room, Sunny at her heels. “I don’t know, maybe I’ll just let it slide. He was a bit…you know.” She shrugged.

  “No, I don’t know. Could you elaborate?”

  “I don’t know. Too good, you know. Too nice.”

  “Too nice? Are you kidding me?” Rachel couldn’t believe her ears. She would kill to have a guy who’s biggest fault was being too nice. Hell, she’d just kill to have a guy, period. How could Sheri be so stupid? “Listen, this guy’s a keeper. Don’t screw this up.”

  Scowling, Sheri picked Sunny up and deposited him on the couch next to her. “What do you mean, a keeper, you’ve barely met him.”

  Turning to look out the window, Rachel shrugged. “He’s just the type of guy you should hold on to, you know. He’s got a job, already owns a house, he’s funny and smart. Too nice!” she snorted before she looked back at her best friend. “My God, what are you waiting for?”

  “I’m waiting for Mr. Perfect, okay? The guy that sweeps me off my feet and two months later I still feel the excitement when he calls me, you know?”

  Rachel rolled her eyes. “You’re an adrenaline junkie. You’re never going to be able to settle down with anyone if you keep looking for that all the time. Maybe you should just grow up.”

  Sheri’s face contorted into an angry grimace. “Maybe you should mind your own business!”

  Shocked, Rachel stared at her friend. Sheri had never raised her voice to Rachel before. In fairness, Rachel had never been so harsh before, but she was tired and her tolerance for crises was waning fast. “Listen, Sheri, you called me about this.” She got up to leave: if she wanted abuse she could get it at home.

  “Hold on,” Sheri’s voice lost its edge. “I’m sorry. I’m PMSing or something. Sit down.” She patted the couch beside her. Sunny groaned a complaint. “Please?”

  “I really should get going,” Rachel said, a yawn punctuating her point. “I’m zonked.”

  “Just stay for a bit. I promise I won’t bite your head off anymore.”

  Obediently Rachel sat back down.

  “So do you really think he’s a kee
per?” Sheri tilted her head.

  Rachel nodded, biting her lip. More than you know. “Yeah, I do,” was all she said aloud.

  Sheri took a deep breath. “I don’t know, I think I like his dog more than I like him.” She looked down at the sleeping Chihuahua. “Sorry Sunny, no offense. You’re still my number one guy.”

  Rachel got up again and headed for the front hall. “You’d better figure out what you’re going to do. He won’t stick around forever waiting for you to come back.”

  And then maybe he’ll be looking for a nice Jewish girl to rebound with. A nice Jewish girl who doesn’t have hang-ups about commitment and cohabitating. Rachel forced the thoughts out of her head as she slipped on her shoes. What was she thinking? Sheri was her best friend.

  Sheri didn’t bother getting up off the couch. “You’re probably right, Rach. I’m being really ridiculous, I know.”

  “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

  “Yeah, thanks for the donuts and for being a good ear and shoulder combo.”

  “You know it.” Rachel smiled before she let herself out the door.

  Rachel took a deep breath. Score: Rachel one, Krispy Kremes, zero.

  Things were looking up.

  Chapter 21

  “Christmas break is coming,” Tina said as she and Rachel sat in the library’s staff room, eating their respective lunches.

  “Yeah, I know,” Rachel groaned. Although the Christmas season brought with it the promise of paid days off, it was bittersweet, tempered with the infusion of tons of children who were off school for the two weeks surrounding the holidays. Only the most senior library staff were allowed to book their holidays at Christmas and March breaks: the coveted golden weeks of vacation.

  Unfortunately for them, neither Tina nor Rachel qualified.

  “I’d like you to run the programs this year,” Tina said over her freshly nuked bowl of leftover pasta.

  Rachel looked up at her boss. “Really? How come?” This was good news. Rachel had been in the thick of the programs last year, but her co-worker Angie had been in charge, meaning she had been the one responsible for all of the budgeting, planning, and buying. Rachel was always looking for a new challenge so the opportunity sounded exciting.

  Tina glanced at the door. “Between you and me, Angie did a terrible job last year and I got a lot of complaints from parents.” She shoved a forkful of bloated penne into her mouth. “And that’s the last thing I need, believe me.”

  “I can imagine,” Rachel said, moving her fork around in her salad, wishing she had Tina’s pasta, or better yet, a Big Mac for lunch. Anything other than another salad.

  “So I’d like to see a two week—minus Christmas, of course—schedule of programs, supplies and any guests you’d like to bring in.”

  “Sure, that sounds like fun.” Rachel’s gears started turning, planning out day by day activities.

  “Can you get that to me by the end of the week?” Tina asked, cringing. “I know it’s short notice, but if I’m going to post a schedule for parents, I’m going to need it really soon.”

  It’s already Wednesday and you just thought of this now? Rachel wondered. “Sure, that’s no problem,” she said out loud, smiling at her boss. “Thanks a lot for letting me do it this year.”

  Putting the lid on her empty container and throwing it into her lunch bag, Tina smiled. “It’s okay, I’m sure you’ll have some good ideas. It’s not rocket science, just make sure that the kids are entertained and no one gets hurt. Hurt kids are a very bad thing.” She picked up her lunch bag and tossed it onto the counter beside her purse. “I’m going out on the floor, you’ve still got some time left on your lunch, don’t you?”

  Rachel glanced at the clock on the wall. “Yeah, about ten minutes.”

  “Okay, see you out there in a bit, then. I’m going to go tell Angie that you’re going to be doing the programming this year.”

  Rachel deflated. Not only was Angie trying to claw her way up among the ranks of library management, but she was also extremely sensitive, known to burst into tears almost without provocation. And worse, she held grudges. Rachel didn’t want to be on the receiving end of her co-worker’s long lasting scorn.

  Tina grinned, being very familiar with Angie and her ‘moods.’ “Don’t worry, she hated doing it last year, and just in case she had designs on doing it again, I’ve got a special project for her, much more suited to her ‘needs.’” Not bothering to explain Angie’s new special project, Tina winked and ducked out of the staff room.

  Looking down at the remnants of her unappealing salad, Rachel sighed. She got up from the table and took her container over to the garbage, dumping its contents into the bin.

  She glanced at the clock again; she still had time left. She fumbled in her purse for her Weight Watchers journal and looked at the phone number scrawled on it, picked up the phone and dialed Brian’s number. Planning to leave a message, she rehearsed in her head what she would say. “Hi, it’s Rachel returning your call…” No, he might not know who it was just by first name. “Hi, it’s Rachel Stern returning your call. Sorry, I missed you. If you’d like to try me again, I’ll be home after seven tonight.” That gave her plenty of time to get home from her Aquafit class. Satisfied, she listened to the rings, waiting for voicemail to pick up.

  “Hello?”

  Oh my God, he’s home. Rachel froze, not sure what to do.

  “Hello?”

  She had to say something. “Uh, hi, Brian?” Good start.

  “Yes, speaking.” His voice sounded lower over the phone. Lower and more professional. Very sexy.

  “It’s Rachel Stern returning your call. I uh didn’t really expect you home at this time of day.” She leaned on the wall, closing her eyes.

  “Hey, Rachel thanks for giving me a call back. I sometimes work from home. You’ve caught me between appointments, so I’ve only got a second to talk.” He paused for a deep breath. “I guess you’ve probably heard about Sheri and me.”

  “Yeah,” Rachel said. “She told me last night.”

  “Well, I was wondering if you and I could go out, for a coffee or something.”

  Rachel’s heart jumped into her throat. “Uh, sure.”

  “How’s tonight? I can meet up with you when you get off work.”

  Tonight? What about Aquafit? A change of clothes? Rachel looked down at her standard work outfit: ankle length black skirt (no leg shaving required) and gray sweater set. Hardly a good outfit to make a good impression. In fact, she was wearing the same outfit the last time she’d seen him. That just wouldn’t do. She really needed some new clothes. “Um, tonight would be okay, but can I meet you somewhere? I’ve got to do an errand right after work.” She prayed that he didn’t ask her about her supposed errand, she was scrambling with the conversation as it was.

  “Okay, you tell me what time and somewhere that’s convenient.”

  Rachel added up how long she figured it would take her to get home, change and be somewhere to meet Brian. So much for Aquafit class. “How’s six at the Starbucks on Chester Street?” She automatically suggested her favorite coffee house. The one she hadn’t been to since she had stopped to get her and Sheri drinks over two weeks ago. She wasn’t sure if she could turn down a mochaccino if it was staring her in the face.

  “That sounds fine, I’ll see you then, Rachel.” He paused. “But, um can we not tell Sheri about this?”

  I wasn’t planning on it, Rachel thought. But suddenly she was struck through with a sharp pang of guilt. How could she lie to her best friend? “Sure,” she said, figuring she should see what Brian had to say and would then decide what to tell Sheri.

  “Thanks, see you then.”

  “Okay, Brian,” Rachel shivered when she used his name. “Bye.”

  She hung up the phone and shoved her Weight Watchers journal back into her purse. Pushing the growing knot of guilt to the back of her brain, she jogged out of the staff room to get back to work, hoping the rest of her day wo
uld go by quickly.

  * * *

  Wanting to get there first so that she could choose the table and already be sitting at it, Rachel walked into the café almost a full ten minutes early. Her heart palpitating hard in her chest, she looked around the restaurant, mostly to scope for Sheri or someone who knew Sheri. She already had a guilty conscience and wished she’d picked somewhere neither of them frequented.

  Sitting at a little table in the corner was Brian. He did a little wave when her gaze fell upon him. Damn. So much for getting a good table. Instead of sitting at one of the tables with the plush upholstered chairs, he was at a wrought iron French patio set. Not only would the chair be too narrow, but she was also going to end up with waffle-ass. Well, she didn’t plan on being there long. Brian needed to say what he needed to say within twenty minutes or her raw nerves would get the better of her. She felt like a cheating wife.

  She headed over to the table to deposit her coat before she made the fateful drink order.

  “Hi Brian,” she said as she draped her coat over the back of her chair.

  “Hi Rachel, you look great. Sheri told me about how you’ve been going to Weight Watchers. I hope it’s not out of line to mention, but I think that’s great. My mom goes also.” He was all smiles. Rachel’s knees nearly gave out. “Why don’t you have a seat?”

  “I’ll just get a tea,” Rachel said. She couldn’t exactly order a mochaccino in front of someone who’d just complimented her on how great she was doing (even though she didn’t actually believe that he could see a difference: counting the Chanukah catastrophe, she had actually only lost five pounds. Although it was a nice sentiment). Taking her purse to the counter, she perused the mind-boggling selection of teas, as she tried to contain her embarrassment that Sheri had even told him about her diet in the first place.

  Settling on an herbal raspberry concoction, she got an extra-large (she had been a bit low on her water consumption for the day) and asked for it in a paper cup, not having used a china mug since a lipstick stain incident. Carrying the monolithic cup in her hand, she headed back to the table.

  She sat down on the wrought iron chair, placing the tea down on the table in front of her. She smiled back at Brian as he sipped on his steaming beverage, the wafting sweet aroma of it telling Rachel that whatever it was, it had caramel in it.