Love for Scale

by Michaela Greene

  Knowing that time would heal her and she didn’t need the aid of Pearl’s various chalky and disgusting concoctions, Rachel refused them.

  Finally, when she thought she could not handle one more word out of Pearl’s, she shooed her mother out the front door, assuring her she’d be fine and would take something if she got worse. Planting herself in front of the television, Rachel turned to Ellen and allowed herself to zone out, turning into a full-fledged couch potato.

  By the time Pearl returned home at dinnertime, Rachel’s G.I. tract had mostly returned to normal. Her stomach had begun to grumble from hunger, but she still didn’t trust her body enough to put anything in it just yet. Not in the mood to assist her mother in preparing dinner (food was tough to look at in her present condition since she was sure she had evacuated food eaten years before in that one short day), she moved from the living room into her bedroom, back to her computer to do some more work on her Christmas program.

  She was only at her desk a few moments before her phone rang. Figuring it was Sheri, she didn’t bother to look at the number.

  “’lo?”

  “Hi, would Rachel be available?”

  It was a man. Rachel straightened in her chair. “Speaking.”

  “Oh hi, Rachel, sorry, I didn’t recognize your voice. It’s Finn…Finn Schwartz.”

  Like she knew more than one Finn? But why was he calling? “Oh…”

  “I hope it’s okay that I called. I stopped by your work today but they said you were off sick, so I just thought I’d call and wish you to get well.”

  “Oh,” Rachel said again. “Thanks.” She looked at the computer screen, not sure what else to say. “I had a virus. It’s going around.”

  “Yeah.” The silence on the line was deafening. “Um, I was also wondering if you’d like to go to the new Scarlett Johansson movie on Saturday night, provided of course you’re feeling better.”

  Rachel’s little fantasy from the night before where Finn had played the role of the tuxedoed love interest came screaming back to her with vivid clarity. Is he asking me out on a date? She was afraid to ask, not wanting to make an assumption which could embarrass them both. “Uh…”

  Finn must have picked up on her reluctance. “You know, as friends,” he assured her. “It’s nice to have Weight Watchers friends to go out with. I wish I had someone to hang out with when I first started; the road would have been a lot less bumpy.”

  “So what are you, like my AA sponsor?” Rachel laughed.

  “I guess you could look at it that way. And I know all the best places to eat that will help you stay on track. I’m like your personal guide to Weight Watchers cuisine.”

  Glad that he had cleared up the ‘date’ issue, Rachel smiled. “Sure, Finn. You know, that would be nice.”

  “Cool. There’s this pita place that makes awesome chicken wraps that are pretty low in points. If you’re into grabbing some dinner first, I can pick you up around six, which’ll give us lots of time to eat and still get to the movie in time for trailers. Does that sound okay?”

  Her heart pounded in her chest, even though it wasn’t a date. “That sounds perfect,” she said, trying to sound cool about it.

  “Great, what’s your address?”

  Thinking forward to Saturday night at six p.m., Rachel remembered that her parents had dinner plans with the Feldmans. It would be safe to allow Finn to pick her up at her home. She gave him her address and told him she was looking forward to it, (even though it wasn’t a date, she assured herself again) before hanging up the phone.

  She turned back to her computer. Three keystrokes later, the phone rang again. This time, it was Sheri.

  “Oh my God!” she blurted out, not bothering with a greeting. “What happened with Leo? I’m sorry I’ve been so wrapped up in my own drama that I forgot to ask. Brian told me that you said it sucked but wouldn’t tell him anything else.”

  Rachel sighed. Would she ever be allowed to forget the date from hell? “It was horrific and I don’t want to talk about it.”

  Apparently that was an invitation to talk about it. “What do you mean? It couldn’t have been that bad.”

  May as well just get it out, she’s going to drag it out of me anyway, Rachel thought. She tried to sum it up in one concise sentence. “He was a jerk, took off and stiffed me with the bill after making an attempt at picking up the waitress. Yes, it really was that bad.”

  “OH MY GOD!” Sheri squealed. “What an asshole!”

  “No kidding. I really don’t want to talk about it.” Rachel hoped her tone was convincing enough. She so wanted to be over the Leo fiasco.

  “I’m really sorry, Rach. That is so horrible. I’m going to kill Brian, I swear. Although, I’m sure he had no idea his friend could be so heinous. I don’t think he ever would have…Anyway…” Sheri paused, “I called for another reason too.”

  “If it’s another blind date, so help me God, I will shoot you dead.” Rachel cradled the phone with her shoulder and scribbled down the list of supplies for a collage project she thought would be good to fill an afternoon over Christmas break.

  “No, I promise I won’t do that again. I was going to see what you’re doing Saturday night. Brian’s away at some convention or something and I thought maybe we could go out. Girls’ night—we haven’t done one in a while.”

  Rachel was about to take Sheri up on her offer until she remembered her plans with Finn. “I can’t,” she said. “I have plans.”

  “Oh,” Sheri sounded surprised. “Anything exciting?”

  “I’m actually going to a movie with a friend from my Weight Watchers meetings,” Rachel said, neglecting to mention that it was a male friend. If Sheri didn’t catch on, she wouldn’t have to do as much explaining. Rachel couldn’t remember a time when she had ever turned Sheri down for plans, but it felt kind of good to have multiple offers, and neither involving her parents.

  “Okay then,” Sheri said, matter of fact.

  Rachel could tell Sheri was disappointed, maybe even a bit jealous? A seed of guilt had been planted and was now slowly growing in Rachel’s mind. Why was she so susceptible to guilt? At least Sheri wasn’t the pro that Rachel’s mother was; Pearl didn’t plant seeds, but fast-growing saplings with wide-reaching roots.

  Rachel hung up the phone and realized she was utterly exhausted. Not only had her ‘illness’ caused her to lose sleep, but her week had been packed full of drama. Although her stomach grumbled in protest of its empty state, she ignored it and crawled into her bed, pulling the covers right up to her chin.

  Within moments, she was asleep.

  Chapter 25

  “So, where are you going with the Feldmans tonight?” Rachel asked her mother.

  They sat at the kitchen table, Rachel with a glass of water (number six for the day and counting) and Pearl, reading glasses on, head down, engrossed in her New York Times crossword.

  Rachel’s mind was buzzing. It was already five-thirty and her parents had made no move to get ready to go out. Finn would be there at six and if Pearl and Harry didn’t get moving very soon, they were going to cross paths. Rachel was not prepared for that. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t going on a date; if he was a Jewish doctor come to take her to dinner and a movie, it was a date in her mother’s eyes, subject to all manner of embarrassing gushing and questions galore.

  Pearl didn’t look up from her crossword. “They canceled. She got called in to do an emergency surgery. We’re staying in.”

  Oh no.

  “Why?” Rachel’s voice cracked. “It’s a nice night out. Why don’t you and Dad go out for dinner or something.”

  Pearl dragged her glasses down her nose and looked over the rims at her daughter. “Are you trying to get rid of us for some reason, Rachel?”

  “No, I just hate to see you and Dad waste a good Saturday night while you’re in the prime of your lives.” She knew she was stretching and almost cringed at her own cheesiness as the words fell out of her mouth.

&
nbsp; Pearl dropped her pencil and took her glasses off completely. “Oy, Rachel, what’s going on? Are you saying you want us to take you out for dinner? Do you need some money? What is it, dear?”

  Oh my God, what have I done? “No Ma, it’s not that. Never mind.” She’d overdone it. Now her mother was suspicious.

  And of course, unwilling to drop the subject. “No, Rachel, you have to be trying to push us out for a reason. Are you planning a party here tonight?”

  Seriously? A party? “No Mom, never mind.” Rachel got up from the table and tried to leave the kitchen.

  “If you and Sheri were planning on having a party here, you’ll have to include your father and me,” Pearl said, her smirk widening. “That might be fun, it’s been a while since I’ve had a cosmopolitan.”

  “Yeah, you’re hilarious,” Rachel said, her tone as dry as sandpaper. “Sorry to ruin your fun, but I’m getting picked up shortly to go out.”

  “By whom?”

  Rachel panicked, there was no way out of it. Maybe the same nonchalant approach she’d used on Sheri would work. She shrugged. “Just a new friend from my Weight Watchers group. We’re going to see that new chick flick.”

  And why had Finn suggested a chick flick anyway? Probably had a thing for Scarlett Johansson; didn’t all men?

  Pearl looked disappointed. “Oh, that’s nice.” She looked back down to her crossword and Rachel wanted to cheer. She’d done it. She had—albeit by omission--made Pearl think she was going out with a woman. Although she felt a bit guilty for misleading her mother, she felt much better that she’d avoid the supreme awkwardness of her mother meeting Finn. She’d just have to make sure she met him at his car.

  The clock on the wall read five-thirty-seven. She planned to be ready by five to six so she could stand on the front porch to wait. I’d better get moving, she thought and abandoned her mother to get ready.

  In her room, Rachel stuffed some necessities into her casual purse, cursing that it hadn’t occurred to her to do it before. She was running out of time.

  Ding Dong.

  Rachel froze. Her digital clock said it was only ten to. If it was Finn, he was early but only a wooden door away from being harassed by Pearl Stern. Rachel dumped the entire contents of her work purse into her casual bag and jogged out to the front hall to try to beat Pearl to the front door.

  No more important race had ever been run in Rachel’s life.

  She passed her mother in the hallway, but to no avail. Pearl was deep enough that she was going to be only a step behind when Rachel reached the door.

  “Rachel,” Pearl scolded. “What are you doing? I was going to answer the door.”

  Rachel stood, her hand on the knob, trying to force her breathing to return to normal. “It’s okay, Ma. Go back to your crossword.”

  “I’m already standing right here, Rachel. I can meet your new friend.”

  There was nothing Rachel could do. She took a deep breath and opened the door a crack.

  Standing in his standard-issue khakis and light blue button-down under his jacket was Finnegan Schwartz in all his smiling glory. He looked nice and his hair seemed a little neater than normal. In his arms was a bouquet of flowers.

  Rachel couldn’t take her eyes off the flowers. Why on earth would he bring flowers? She wondered and then panicked. She tried to position her body in the doorway so Pearl couldn’t see past her.

  Pretending the flowers didn’t exist, she lowered her voice to barely above a whisper. “Hi! I’m just about ready. Let me grab my coat, I’ll meet you at your car.” She hoped her smile would make up for how rude she knew she was being. She was about to close the door on poor Finn when Pearl loudly interjected.

  “Rachel, would you please open the door, I’d like to meet your friend.”

  Rolling her eyes, but knowing she had no other choice, Rachel stepped aside, dragging the door open so Pearl could finally get a good view of Finn.

  “Oh! You’re a man!” Pearl didn’t even attempt to hide her surprise.

  Finn smirked.

  Rachel groaned. “Ma, this is Finn Schwartz. Finn, my mother, Pearl Stern.”

  Finn stepped into the house and handed Rachel the flowers. “These are for you. Just a little get-well gift.” He turned to Pearl. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Stern.” He offered his hand.

  Pearl’s head tipped to the side as she shook Finn’s hand. “Finn Schwartz?” She was obviously trying to figure out his name—a dichotomy of religions if ever there had been one.

  “It’s a long story, Mrs. Stern, but yes you heard the Schwartz part correctly.” His smile was wide. He didn’t seem the least bit apprehensive. Maybe this was what his bedside manner looked like.

  He’s good at this, Rachel thought, relieved that Finn seemed so comfortable with her mother. She wished she had half as much poise. Her insides were churning, although thankfully just from nerves.

  “HARRY!” Pearl hollered down the hall. “Harry come here and meet Rachel’s new friend. He brought her flowers!”

  Oh God.

  Rachel imagined her father, moving like molasses, pouring his bones from the couch to come see who was at the front door.

  “Ma, we’ve got to go, we’re seeing a movie.”

  Glaring, Pearl looked at her daughter. “You can wait two minutes.”

  “It’s okay, Rachel, I’m actually a few minutes early,” Finn offered.

  Thanks for your help, Finn. Rachel thought. Let’s see if we can drag this out to be totally unbearable.

  By the time Rachel and Finn were allowed to leave, Finn had been thoroughly subjected to the Pearl Stern brand of third degree questioning. The FBI could learn a thing or two from her. In only a few short minutes (well, long minutes as far as Rachel was concerned), Pearl had learned his complete lineage, tracing back practically to Moses, that his parents were deceased, and the golden goose: that he was a doctor.

  Pearl had even managed to garner a promise out of him that he’d return the following Friday night for a ‘traditional’ home-cooked Shabbat dinner. It would be an experience that would be a first for both Finn and Rachel. Pearl took the flowers from Rachel, promising to put them in a vase and cooed after the couple, wishing them a good time.

  Once they were on the other side of the closed door, Rachel sighed and grabbed Finn’s forearm. “I am SO sorry about that, I was going to meet you on the porch…”

  Finn smiled. “Sorry about what? I think your parents are nice.”

  Rachel wondered if maybe Finn had prescribed himself something before coming over. She let go of his arm and they walked to his car; a black four-door Toyota sedan with a sunroof.

  “Thanks. But you have no idea what you’re in for with this Shabbat dinner,” she said when he reached past her and opened her door. A waft of his scent reached her nose. He smelled nice, like a clean mixture of aftershave and dryer sheets.

  “What do you mean? Are your parents very religious?” Finn frowned, his hand on the car door handle.

  “That’s the thing,” Rachel shook her head and laughed. “I don’t think my mother has a clue how to make Shabbat dinner, we usually go out for Chinese food on Fridays.”

  “That sounds awesome,” Finn said. He closed her door and walked around the car and got into the driver’s seat. “I love Chinese, so if that’s what she means by ‘traditional,’ count me in.” He looked over at her and winked.

  Rachel snorted: the best response she could think of. As they pulled out of the driveway, she couldn’t help but think that this ‘just friends’ evening out was beginning to feel suspiciously like a date.

  * * *

  “I need to get out of there. I’m twenty-seven years old, what am I doing living at home with my parents?” Rachel said. She unwrapped the waxed paper around her chicken shawarma and took a bite. She had been entertaining Finn with some of the more interesting stories about living with her parents: the most recent being the tortuous Chanukah dinner.

  “So why don’t you move out?” Fi
nn asked through a mouthful of falafel.

  Rachel shrugged. “I really have no reason.”

  “Just wanting to move out isn’t a good enough reason?” he asked.

  Rachel looked at him to see if he was making fun of her. His eyebrows were raised as he chewed, waiting for her answer, but he didn’t look like he was trying to be facetious.

  “I guess,” she said, looking around the room hoping the answer to Finn’s question was on the walls. Soup of the day, menu specials…Nope, she was on her own. “I’ve never really looked at it that way. I guess I always figured I’d move out to get married or if I got a new job in another city.” She shrugged again as she took a bite of her wrap.

  Finn had been right: the food at this place was really good. Sheri would probably like it too, maybe next Saturday after their gown excursion…

  “Are you looking for a job in another city?” Finn asked.

  Sheepishly, Rachel shook her head.

  “I’m not criticizing, and you know, I really don’t know you that well, so maybe it’s not my place to say anything, but maybe it’s time.” Finn’s eyes held hers, softening his words.

  Rachel knew he was probably right. He’d managed to put her living situation in perspective: maybe she did really need to move out even though she wasn’t facing a life changing event. Maybe it was time to cut the cord. God knows, twenty-seven years of living with her parents was more than enough.

  “I think you’re right,” she said with an assertive nod. “I’m going to move out. I’m going to have my own place.” Rachel liked the sound of what she was saying. She felt instantly happier, lighter. It was as though a weight she didn’t know she had been carrying was suddenly gone from her shoulders. She took another bite of her shawarma.

  This Finn is very wise, she thought as she chewed. She looked down at the globs of garlicky tahini on her plate. She felt less than glamorous as the sauce dripped down her fingers. Good thing it wasn’t a date.