Love Comes Blindly (book 5) (The Fielding Brothers Saga)

by Higgins, Marie

  “You were right when you told me I’d see again.” Happiness overwhelmed him and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his body. “I really thought I’d be blind forever, but now—” His voice choked.

  Slowly, her arms lifted to hook around his neck in a loose hug. It was then he realized his angel was really in his arms. His dreams of making her experience the passion he felt was in his grasp. Her soft body fit well against his and he tightened his hold.

  He kissed her cheek. At first she stiffened, yet she didn’t pull away. He tried not to wonder if God would strike him at any moment for his wicked daydreams. Instead, he kissed her soft, smooth skin again, letting his lips linger. His heart thumped wildly, making his chest heavy with emotion.

  When he kissed her again, his lips were closer to her mouth. Her sharp inhale made him hesitate, yet she didn’t tell him to stop. This encouraged him. He wanted to make her feel his excitement. He must make her experience the same warmth that shot through his body.

  He brushed his lips across hers slowly, tenderly. Finally, she sighed and met his mouth as if in surrender. He released a groan of pleasure and kissed the woman he’d been dreaming about since the accident. The woman who made him smile and gave him the courage to believe.

  Gregg moved his mouth over hers seductively, and she responded just as he’d hoped. He tilted his head and deepened the kiss. Thankfully, she didn’t pull back, but participated fully. Explosions went off inside his head, and it wasn’t a cannon this time.

  Before he could enjoy anymore, she pushed him away, her hand flying to her mouth. “No, Gregg. This is so very wrong. If you only knew...only knew who I was.”

  “I do, and you will never become a nun, Mary.”

  “It doesn’t matter what you believe. I have no desire to fail and you are making me do that very thing.” Her voice cracked.

  “I don’t understand how a woman who is so beautiful and passionate would devote her life to God instead of finding a husband.”

  She sobbed. “Please, Gregg. You don’t understand.”

  “Then help me. I enjoy the way you feel in my arms. I love the way your mouth meets mine, and the happiness I feel when we’re together.”

  “No, Gregg...” She cried and covered her mouth again.

  “Mary, please—”

  “My name is Sister Mary,” she snapped. “I need to fetch the doctor. Stay here and I’ll be back with him.”

  Before he could answer, she swung around and ran toward the Abbey. His heart ached with each step she took. What was he thinking trying to seduce a nun in training? Yet, he couldn’t help himself. She made him feel things he never thought he’d feel again. She believed in him when he couldn’t have the same faith.

  And she cared for him. He felt it. He knew she was hiding her passion, and God help him, he wanted to teach her how to love him. Only him.

  Chapter Five

  Maddie was back...although Madeline wished she had stayed away. The woman who wanted Gregg to make her body melt had taken over. There was no room for the new Madeline.

  But once Gregg discovered her true identity, he’d leave. During her three years at the Abbey, there had been a few men who had flirted with her. They didn’t mean anything. She could resist their charms easily. From the very beginning of meeting Gregg, he’d been different. He was as charming as he was handsome. His kisses set her blood on fire and her body ached to be held. Why else would she have given herself to him?

  After informing the doctor of Gregg’s progress, she turned to leave when several men walked through the front doors. Two wounded men were pulled by ropes tied to their wrists by three British soldiers.

  “You. Nun,” one of the soldiers called to her and motioned his head for her to come.

  Hesitantly, she stepped closer. “My name is Sister Mary.” Why the fake name came so easily to her, she wished she knew.

  “We have Russian prisoners who are wounded. They need a doctor as well as a private room where we can keep them.”

  Madeline shook her head. “I fear we will not be able to treat them here. This is not a complete hospital. The doctor only visits twice a week.”

  “We will only need to use your facility for a few days,” the other soldier said. “More soldiers from England have been dispatched to come quickly.”

  “I still don’t think—”

  “I will take care of these men.” The Reverend Mother’s voice carried from down the hallway as she slowly walked toward them.

  Nodding, Madeline backed away, but stood close enough to assist whenever needed.

  The soldiers explained again to the older woman why they needed the Abbey. Madeline noticed they treated the Reverend Mother with more respect, which relieved Madeline greatly.

  “I see yar problem, and I will help. Yet know this can only be for a few days.”

  “That’s all we’ll need.”

  The Reverend Mother glanced at Madeline over her shoulder. “Accompany me, my child.”

  “As you wish.”

  Madeline followed obediently and didn’t speak. She couldn’t help peek over her shoulder at the wounded prisoners. Faded grayish-green uniforms hung in shreds on their bodies, along with the grayish-black muff hat sitting crooked on their head. Burns and cuts littered their face, neck, and hands, reminding her of how Gregg and his friends appeared when they were brought in.

  They climbed all the way to the third floor and stopped in front of a locked door. Reverend Mother withdrew her keys and opened the door.

  “Ya may keep yar prisoners in here.” She fished the key off from the rest of them. “Please do not lose this. It’s the only one I have.”

  “Thank you, Reverend Mother.”

  As Madeline and the other woman left the soldiers to stand guard, Madeline glanced out the windows as they passed. A handful of soldiers were standing outside the Abbey.

  “Reverend Mother? What do you think they are all doing here?”

  “It’s not for our ken, my child. If God wants us to know, we will.”

  Madeline sighed heavily. Sometimes the older woman’s words were very confusing. Of course, when Madeline’s head was full of fog as it’d been lately, it’s no wonder she felt so perplexed.

  When she reached the bottom level, she noticed the doctor by Gregg’s cot, examining his eyes. Lord Drake sat on the edge of his bed, his expression beamed as he watched the doctor. Madeline’s heart sank once again. Gregg would see her clearly any day now…and then the truth would be revealed.

  She turned away from them and hurried down another long hallway, trying to sort out these disturbing thoughts and emotions that she’d had since seeing Gregg again. As she headed toward the back of the large and spacious building, she slowed her footsteps. Taking deep breaths, she tried to calm herself. She tried to get a grip on her emotions so she could think this through. The only way to make Gregg stop trying to kiss her was to tell him the truth. Yet, they’d grown so close lately, she didn’t want to lose that bond, either.

  She stopped and pressed her head against the nearest wall. God, help me! She wanted Gregg to like her when he finally saw her for the first time. She wanted his heart to be softened because of the kindness she’d shown him—and she hoped he’d see the different woman she’d become.

  Muffled voices from a nearby room pulled her out of her thoughts. Good grief! Couldn’t she find peace anywhere in this place? She was not in the mood to be sociable. But the voices weren’t just anyone…they were men.

  More soldiers, perhaps? What were they doing down here?

  She stepped closer to the door and listened. The door was cracked open enough for her to lean her ear next to the opening.

  “We must break the prisoners out. They will not be cared for properly unless we take them.”

  She sucked in her breath, afraid to even breathe. The man had a Russian accent.

  “We cannot break them out tonight. The doctor’ll be here soon tae treat them.” The second man was from Scotland, she
could tell.

  “I don’t trust these doctors. They are not on our side.”

  “We have no other choice. If we break them out tonight, they will die.”

  Madeline’s heartbeat quickened and pounded hard against her ribs. She needed to do something. Fast. Inform the other soldiers—or anyone.

  “If they die, the soldiers will die as well,” the Russian said.

  Russian spies! She gasped. Yes, that must be it.

  “Did ya hear that?” The Scottish man’s voice rose. “Do ya think someone is listenin’?”

  Panicked, she jerked away from the door and scanned for a place to hide. Around the corner and under the stairs was the only place. There was a small door with a cubby to hide in.

  Quickly, she rushed to the spot on quiet feet, opened the door, and slid inside. Holding her breath, she prayed they had not heard her.

  Footsteps pounded on the floor, but instead of coming her way, they retreated. She let out a relieved breath. Thank you, God. But she wasn’t out of danger yet. If she didn’t somehow stop these men from breaking the prisoners out, other people who were in the Abbey might be harmed as well. The Sisters were her family now. Madeline must protect them. And Gregg… She sighed. She must protect him as well since he couldn’t rely on his eyesight just yet.

  There was only one person she could trust with this information, but in order to deliver him the message, she must sneak out. It’d been several months since she had to do this, and she prayed God would guide her once again.

  * * * *

  Two more days passed and the prisoners were still under lock and key. As far as Madeline could see, nobody had tried to break them out as she’d had overheard.

  She spent her time in the kitchen, making any excuse not to see—or be seen—by Gregg. The other nuns who took over caring for him delivered Madeline his messages. He wanted to talk to her. Right now, she couldn’t do it. Just thinking about confronting him with the truth made her stomach roll with dread.

  Once the lunch hour was over, she hurried to her bedroom and changed her clothes. Today was a special day for her, and for the past three years she’d spent it at her daughter’s grave. Even though it hurt to remember the heart-breaking day Vivian died, Madeline also knew this was God’s way of helping her deal with this emotion.

  As she squeezed the old gown over her curves, she was reminded once again how childbirth had changed her form. No longer was she the slender girl, but now held a woman’s figure. Although the bodice and hips fit snugly, she still managed to look her best. Before leaving, she gathered an assortment of flowers to take to Vivian’s grave.

  Leaving the Abbey, she crept around back, hoping nobody—especially Gregg—would notice. Call her a coward, but she just couldn’t bring herself to tell him the truth.

  Large trees canopied the walkway from the Abbey toward the cemetery, and stillness hung in the air. She clutched the flowers to her chest and quickened her step. As she reached the gate, her name was called from behind. With a jerk, she snapped around. Gregg stood at the end of the path waving.

  Her heart plummeted. Could he see her this far away? Then again, she’d heard his sight was getting better. But she couldn’t let him reach her. Not until after she’d visited Vivian’s grave.

  Madeline whipped around and swung open the gate. Lifting her gown above her ankles, she sprinted across the yard. Ahead was an abandoned cottage looked after by the Sisters. She’d be safe and Gregg wouldn’t know to look for her there.

  Once she was inside with the door closed, tears filled her eyes. Telling him was essential…just not now.

  Within minutes the door opened. Gregg peered inside, squinting. “I know you’re here.”

  Her heart stopped. Could he see her? The room wasn’t lit very well, the sunlight blocked by the dingy curtains. Perhaps he didn’t have his full sight back.

  “Please, Gregg. Leave me alone.” She placed the flowers on the small chair and turned toward the bed, hiding her face.

  “Mary, I can see better now. Why have you been hiding from me?” He shut the door and stood behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders.

  “Gregg, you must go. Please.” She circled her arms around her middle.

  He clamped his hands on her shoulders, trying to move her around, but she wouldn’t let him. She couldn’t let him.

  “Are you still put out at me for kissing you?”

  “Oh, Gregg.” Tears welled in her eyes and she covered her face. “Believe me, I don’t wish you to see me.”

  Finally, he was able to turn her around and pull her against his chest. He kissed the top of her head.

  “How can you say that? You were the first person I wanted to look at this morning when the doctor examined my eyes. You are the last one I want to see before going to bed. You are the only one that matters.”

  “Gregg, if you want to continue our friendship, you will allow me this one wish.”

  “I need to see you.” He kissed her head again. She kept her hands covering her eyes, leaving her nose and mouth exposed. “Mary? Are you afraid that if I see your beautiful face, I will fall hopelessly in love with you?”

  Although her mood wasn’t humorous, his statement made her chuckle. “Actually, I know you will do the exact opposite. In fact, I’m quite certain you will hate me.”

  “How can I hate you? I’m half in love with you already. I’ve been feeling this way even before my eyesight returned.”

  She groaned. “Please, just trust me.”

  He pulled her closer. His hot breath fanned her face. “How can I do anything but trust you? Nobody else gave me hope. You were the one I waited for every day to visit me. Now that you are in my arms, I have no desire to let you go.”

  His words were seducing her, but she couldn’t let him. He’d break her heart again if she allowed her feelings for him to come forth, because God help her, she was falling in love with him, too.

  * * * *

  “I think I’m in love with you, Mary.” This time when Gregg said it, he knew it was true. He desired her more than any woman he’d known. Well, three years ago one woman came close, but thankfully, that turned out to be a disaster. Her lies had stopped him from making the biggest mistake of his life.

  But now love blossomed in his heart. Mary was meant to be with him.

  Forever.

  He placed his lips over hers, hoping to coax her to remove her hands. He wanted to see her face. All of her...or as much as the dimly lit room and his still recovering eyes would allow.

  He moved his lips back and forth against hers, tenderly. A heavy sigh came from her and she responded just as he’d hoped. Her hands dropped from her face and wound around his neck as she participated fully in the kiss.

  Excitement lifted his heart and he turned the kiss more urgent. He wanted to touch her, feel every soft curve and hear her deep sighs. He ran his hands over her snug gown, wondering when she’d worn it last since it was obvious it didn’t fit her now. Yet it didn’t matter. He’d dress her in the finest silks and satins. She’d look perfect upon his arm as he introduced her to his family and friends.

  Crushing his mouth to hers, he drew circles across her back with his fingertips, moving down her spine. She was perfect for him, and fit well in his arms as if she were made to be there. He moved his hands back up and to her hair…now long with nothing to cover it. Groaning, he delved his fingers into her smooth curls, loving the way they cascaded across his skin.

  He broke the kiss so he could move his lips along the column of her neck. When he’d touched her the other day, he’d dreamed of doing this. Now everything was real. The scent of roses he’d smelled since meeting her surrounded him, and he wanted to bury his face in her neck and become lost in her essence.

  “Oh, Mary. You cannot be real.” He kissed the curve of her neck and she shivered. “This magical feeling inside me is too wonderful.”

  “Gregg?” Passion laced her voice.

  “Yes?”

  “We...we need t
o talk.”

  “Oh, my lovely, we will have all the time in the world to talk, but right now, I want to communicate with our mouths.”

  She literally melted into his arms, and his heart cheered. This passionate woman was not meant to be a nun—and he’d see to it that she never became one.

  He lifted her and laid her on the bed, following her down. His name sighed from her lips, and he wanted to shout with happiness. Guilt tried to worm its way into his consciousness. After all, wasn’t she a nun? No, Drake had told him she was different. She didn’t wear the habits. He had to convince her she was made for a higher purpose. To be his wife.

  Soft moans came from her throat and it pleased him to know he made her feel this way. He was also happy to know he’d finally found someone who was able to take his mind off one certain woman—after three years of searching.

  He broke the kiss only so he could travel his lips down her neck. “Mary, you’re so wonderful.”

  Suddenly, her body stiffened and she pushed him away and rose clumsily from the bed. “Oh, Gregg. Please forgive me. This was so wrong.”

  Before he could stop her, she ran out the door. He growled and rubbed his eyes. What did he have to do to make her see how much he cared? He was half in love with her...no—he loved her with all his heart.

  He needed to let her know before it was too late.

  * * * *

  She’d failed.

  Madeline groaned and sank to her knees in front of her daughter’s headstone. Why had she allowed Gregg to kiss her? Again! Her body still tingled for his touch, and her mouth craved his tender caress. The way her heart had been beating so wildly not too long ago reminded her of when she’d been intimate with him three years ago. But this time… This time she knew she was in love with him. Unfortunately, their love could never be.

  He’d never forgive her now. Her life would be inept unless she told him the truth, and even then she expected he’d still hate her.

  The afternoon brought shade to the gravesite under the large elm trees. She wiped away dry leaves from the headstone before tracing her finger through the engraved name.

  Vivian Caroline Fielding.