Love Comes Blindly (book 5) (The Fielding Brothers Saga)

by Higgins, Marie

  “Mistake or not,” he interrupted, “you can still be charmed very easily, my lovely, and that is not a good quality to have if you want to become a nun.”

  She smiled. “I have been doing just fine for three years so it must be you, Gregg.”

  “Indeed? Do you mean to tell me that I’m the only one whose charms you have fallen for?”

  “You are the only one that has tried to seduce a nun.”

  He laughed again. “But I didn’t think you would be the nun I was seducing.”

  “I know.” She sighed softly. “You wanted Mary.”

  He shook his head and moved to the window and slightly parted the curtains. “It’s still hard for me to link the two of you together.”

  “Gregg?” She left the bed and walked to him. “I’m sorry I led you to believe I was somebody else. That was not my intention.”

  “It wasn’t?” He met her gaze.

  “No, it wasn’t. Do you know how much I wanted to tell you who I really was?”

  “Why didn’t you?”

  “Because I knew what your reaction would be. I knew how much you hated me, and I was enjoying being your friend. I didn’t want it to end. I still don’t want it to end,” she finished more softly.

  He looked at her for a few moments longer and then turned away, rubbing his hands on his face. “Oh, Maddie. What do you want me to do?”

  “Forgive me. I want you to forgive me for hurting you, and I want you to accept me for the new person I am.”

  He turned his head and glanced at her. “That’s going to be very hard, you know. You did a lot of lying to me and your family three years ago. In fact, you have lied to me since I arrived here.”

  Her heart broke. “Gregg,” she pleaded as she grabbed hold of his arm. “Please believe me. I have changed.”

  “I’m not sure that you really have.”

  Anger surged through her and she dropped his arm. Standing tall, she faced him stubbornly. “Oh yes I have!”

  He stepped in front of her. “What kind of bet would you like to wager?”

  “Name it.”

  He chuckled. “I didn’t think nuns made bets. It’s a sin to gamble, you know.”

  “I’m trying to make a point, here.”

  “And so am I.” He grabbed her by the shoulders and brought her up against his body as his mouth captured hers. She knew he was trying to prove himself right, and she wanted to remain firm with her decision, but the more his lips caressed hers, the more she was tempted to succumb. It always happened when she was in Gregg’s embrace.

  His arms wrapped around her as he cradled her body. His kiss was warm and gentle and very passionate, but she still wanted to resist. She was too weak around him.

  “Come on, Maddie,” he mumbled against her lips. “Show me the passionate woman who melts in my arms every time I kiss her.” His hands moved down her back. “Show me the woman whose lips I cannot get enough of.”

  He was trying to seduce her with his words, but she would be strong…yet, if she wanted to be strong why was her body beginning to dissolve, and why was her mouth opening for his to take over?

  “Gregg, please,” she begged mere seconds before surrendering, but just as she slipped her arms around his neck, there was a noise from the hallway just outside the door.

  He broke the kiss and whispered, “I think we have company again.”

  * * * *

  Gregg darted behind the door just as it opened. He didn’t need to see their visitor when the man’s smell reeked of whiskey. Gregg bunched his hands into fists. Hopefully Maddie would get rid of the soldier again because Gregg didn’t want to hurt him… But he would in order to protect Maddie.

  “Sir, what are you doing here?” Her voice lifted in panic.

  “I decided tae pay ya another visit…without me friend,” the Scot said as he closed the door.

  Although there was no place for Gregg to hide, standing in back of the other man was a good thing… For now.

  The soldier looked down at the floor at all Maddie’s gowns. “Whot happened here?”

  Maddie huffed and planted her hands on her hips. “If you must know, I was checking my gowns to see which ones you had ruined with your sword.”

  He bent and picked one up, rubbing the silky material between his finger and thumb. “So ya were a fancy lass.”

  “Sir, please leave now,” she spat as she tugged the gown out of his grasp.

  “That’s not verra polite.” He moved closer and she backed away. “I just want tae get tae know ya better.”

  Glancing around the room, Gregg tried to find something he could use as a weapon. Unless he confiscated the lamp on the opposite side of her chambers, he wouldn’t have any help. Then again…if Maddie could distract the soldier, Gregg could sneak up behind and get his pistol. He just hoped it was as easy as it seemed.

  “Sir, if you don’t leave posthaste, I assure you I’ll scream so loud the roof will collapse.” She kept retreating until a wall stopped her.

  A low growl came from the soldier. “A feisty lass. That, I like.”

  The Scot’s hands shot out and within a blink, he had her in his arms as he brought his mouth down to cover hers. She struggled, but the beast overpowered her. Pushing her to the bed, they both fell upon the mattress.

  Gregg needed to make his move now! Frustrated anger built inside of him for what this man was doing to Maddie. Carefully, Gregg crept toward the bed, hoping the creaks on the floor weren’t enough to disturb the soldier. Of course, with Maddie’s whimpers and the man’s growls of passion, Gregg was certain they wouldn’t hear. He slowly slid the pistol out of the man’s belt. Silently, Gregg thanked God it was easy access. Before he had time to think of another course of action, he slammed the butt of the weapon on the man’s head. The brute slumped against Maddie, unconscious.

  Her teary-eyes stared at Gregg as she released a heavy sigh. “What took you so long?”

  “I had to find some kind of weapon.” He held up the pistol. “Thankfully, he hadn’t fastened it in his belt tight enough.”

  She pushed at the Scot but the man wouldn’t budge. Gregg tugged until the unconscious heap rolled off her.

  Shivering, she darted off the bed, brushing her hands over her arms. “Good riddance, I say.” She met Gregg’s eyes again and smiled weakly. “Thank you for saving me from being brutally violated…again.”

  He took her in his arms to comfort. The poor woman looked like a frightened kitten. “Forgive me for taking so long. I wouldn’t have let him hurt you, I promise.” He kissed her forehead.

  She withdrew enough to meet his stare. “Gregg…you’re not going to make love to me again, are you?”

  Although it shouldn’t have been humorous, he did chuckle, remembering this was the same way it had happened three years ago. “Is that what you want me to do? I shall be more than happy to oblige if that is what your heart desires.”

  Her cheeks flamed. “You are just awful. Do you know that?” She rested her head against his chest and sighed.

  “The only thing I ask this time is that you not think of Andrew during our passionate moment.”

  She raised her head again and frowned. “Please don’t remind me of my past mistakes.”

  “Forgive me, my lovely.” He stroked her cheek. “I should not have said that.”

  She shook her head then turned to look at the man still on her bed. “What are we going to do with him?” She peered closer and gasped. “Gregg, there is blood coming out of the back of his head.”

  “I didn’t think I hit him that hard.” He knelt on the bed and pressed his fingers to the man’s neck. When he didn’t detect a pulse, Gregg panicked and placed his ear on his chest.

  “Gregg? What…is wrong?”

  “I think he’s dead,” Gregg whispered.

  Chapter Seven

  Madeline scrambled to the bed and laid her ear on the Russian’s chest. Nothing. Groaning, she sat up and shook her head. “Gregg, you killed him.”

&nbs
p; “I realize that. I didn’t mean to. I just wanted him unconscious.” He reached out and grasped her hand. “But know this. I would kill anyone who harmed you in such a vile way as this man was about to do.”

  Her head pounded and she closed her eyes. What was he saying? But more importantly, why was he saying this? Had he suddenly forgiven her? Or were these words spoken because of the situation they were both in?

  Opening her eyes, she rubbed her forehead. “What will become of us now? We killed a solider.”

  “No, Maddie. We killed a spy. He is naught but a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

  Tears pricked her eyes and she nodded. “We will have to do something with his body. But I don’t want anyone knowing what happened. I’m quite certain this man reports to someone higher than him. I fear what will happen to us both if this comes to light.”

  Gregg climbed off the bed. “Moving him is a must, but it’s too early to leave the Abbey without questions arising.”

  “You are correct, of course. We shall move him to an empty room first.” She walked to her trunk and pulled out an old nightrail. “Wrap this around his head so we won’t leave any blood trails.”

  Gregg did as instructed. Between the two of them, they moved the soldier off the bed and dragged him out of the room. Being as quiet as they could, they pulled him to an empty broom closet down the hall.

  “This will have to suffice until after everyone has retired for the night,” she told him.

  “I shall come to your room at the appropriate time and together we will take him somewhere. Perhaps we could find a pond or something to hide his body there.”

  “A pond?”

  “If there is no body to be found, there will be no suspicions.”

  She nodded once. “Then I know just the spot to take him.”

  They walked back to her room in silence. As she stepped into the room, she quickly turned and placed her hand on Gregg’s chest to keep him from entering. “You must return downstairs.”

  He folded his arms and frowned. “Are you going to be all right? You don’t think the Russian will come back, do you?”

  She glanced to her bed. “The soldier’s pistol is here. I shall protect myself with that if I must.”

  “After I leave, please lock your door.”

  Her smile wavered. “Oh, Gregg. You do care.”

  He rolled his eyes, as a grin sneaked across his mouth. “For the moment, yes. Please be safe. I shall see you later tonight.”

  Nodding, she closed the door and locked it. Although the evening had turned out terrible…she felt Gregg was finally starting to trust her again. The hope nearly made her heart sing with gladness.

  * * * *

  The quarter moon lit the way for the wagon Madeline guided down the quiet road. Gregg’s eyesight wasn’t very good in the dark, so he allowed her to take them to the stretch of water she knew about. This part of the country was desolate, and had been since she’d first arrived at the Abbey. Now she was grateful nobody would see them.

  She gathered her cloak tighter around her throat with one hand as she gripped the reins with the other. Gregg sat near to her on the seat, his shoulder and leg continually bumping against her. Although she didn’t want their closeness right now, she was grateful for his presence. He comforted her more than she thought was possible.

  When she stopped the wagon next to the large pond, she turned her head toward Gregg and sighed. “I really cannot believe we are doing this. We killed a man and now we are disposing of his body.”

  Gregg slipped his arm around her shoulders for a small hug. “Would you rather him alive and rape you? Or, alive and knowing we know he’s a traitor?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Would you have rather told the Sisters why he was in your room?”

  “No.”

  “And what about breaking free the prisoners? Would you want that on your conscience?”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “I think God will understand. I didn’t kill the poor man because I’m evil. I killed him trying to protect you.”

  She nodded. “Forgive me for being so doubtful.”

  He kissed her forehead then carefully climbed out of the wagon. She knew he couldn’t see, so she hopped down to assist him. They pulled the soldier’s body out and dragged him to the water. On their knees, they pushed him into the water; his dead weight pulling him down. Kneeling, she drew a cross in the air and said a silent prayer for the man’s soul. When she was finished and she stood, Gregg chuckled beside her.

  “What is so comical at a time like this?” She glared.

  “You are acting like a nun again…praying for him and all.”

  “I’m certainly not acting like a nun! I was just doing what any faithful Christian would do. In fact, since you are the one who took his life, you should say a few words to God yourself.”

  He gripped her shoulders with stern fingers. His mouth pulled tight in anger. “Are you going to keep throwing that in my face? I killed to protect your hide, my dear. Don’t forget it.”

  “And don’t you forget that although this man was a traitor, he was still one of God’s children and deserves a prayer—or two.”

  “Fine then,” Gregg snapped. “I shall say a prayer but in my own privacy.”

  She wanted to smile in victory, but she refrained. “Thank you. I’m certain that would make God very happy,” she replied softer.

  They stared at each other for a few more moments before the corners of Gregg’s mouth lifted and the lines of anger around his eyes softened. “I still find it strange that I’m even talking to you, as well as trying not to laugh and enjoy myself.”

  Madeline turned away from him and headed back toward the wagon, Gregg keeping in step beside her. “Why do you find it so strange?”

  “Because the one woman I know who was closer to hell than anyone is now living with nuns.”

  “People can change, Gregg. You need to accept what I am now and move on with your life.”

  “Accept that you want to become a nun? Never!”

  She halted and stopped him by grasping his elbow. “Please, Gregg. This is what I want now.”

  He shook his head. “Impossible. I know you too well, my lovely.”

  Her heart broke just a little more. Three years ago, he used to call her my lovely. Now she wished to never hear it again because of the horrid memories it brought…and knowing he would never feel that way about her again.

  “Honestly, Gregg. You are being so irritating. Don’t you realize I have no other choice but to stay here with the Sisters?”

  “Why don’t you have a choice?”

  “Because I have ruined my life. I will never make a good marriage.” She continued toward the wagon. “I don’t have the skills needed to obtain employment, so I must stay here at the Abbey.”

  He helped her up then climbed on top next to her. “I’m certain you will find a man who will marry you.”

  “No respectable man will want me as his wife knowing I was an unwed mother.” She grasped the reins and urged the horses forward. “Admit it, Gregg. You know I’m correct about this.”

  He shrugged. “Have you considered becoming a man’s mistress?”

  Shock doused her like cold water and she threw him a glare. “That has never crossed my mind, Sir!”

  “It would have three years ago.”

  She rolled her eyes then concentrated on the road. “As I have explained numerous times already, I am not that girl any longer. All my experiences have made me want more out of life, but I know it’s impossible.”

  Silence lasted a few seconds before Gregg sighed heavily. “What do you want me to do, Maddie?”

  Tears stung her eyes and she blinked away the tears. Her heart continued to crumble and hearing the destitute in his voice didn’t help matters. “Nothing at all, Gregg.”

  * * * *

  Two days passed and nothing was mentioned about the missing soldier. And as good fortune would have it, there was no p
rison break, either. Life continued on for Madeline as the Abbey and the village prepared for a bazaar to raise money for a new school. She worked hard in the kitchen making cakes and cookies to sell, while some of the other Sisters decorated the Abbey’s large estate.

  This event had been announced for a few weeks, and Madeline couldn’t wait for it to begin. People from the village would come, some she hadn’t seen for a while. It was her time to interact with others besides the nuns and patients.

  She was also grateful for this activity because it took her mind off Gregg. Since they had talked the other night, he hadn’t gone out of his way to speak with her. His friend, Lord Calvin was slowly healing, and soon they’d both leave the Abbey.

  Heaviness settled in her chest when she thought of Gregg returning to England without forgiving her. Would he ever see that she’d changed? Would he care?

  As she frosted a cake, she thought about her life. If Gregg left her, would she really be satisfied to live at the Abbey? Men had not interested her—not since she left her home and hurt all those people. While working at the Abbey, she’d found a different kind of love. Being with the Sisters and helping the village allowed her to love unselfishly—something she’d never had before.

  Over the past few years a few men had flirted with her, but she’d always discouraged them. She had thought about becoming a nun, but never really acted upon the idea. What else could a woman in her situation become? She was in her nineteenth year, deflowered, and had a very bad past. What decent man would want her now? Was there someone out there who could love her as she’d wanted?

  After the bazaar started, Madeline was kept busy the first few hours. She greeted old friends, and made new ones. The blind woman who had taught her came and gave Madeline a hug. She assisted with the games, and collected the money. It was a very enjoyable afternoon, but something was missing. Gregg wasn’t here.

  Several times throughout the day, she glanced at the Abbey, hoping to see him walk out and wave to her. That didn’t happen.

  An hour later, a man’s laugh boomed through the air, and her heart lifted. Tom McClain, a man in town she’d nursed at the Abbey not too long ago, walked through the crowd with his two daughters. When she first met him, he reminded her of her father. McClain was a loveable man, and she couldn’t wait to greet him.