Love Comes Blindly (book 5) (The Fielding Brothers Saga)

by Higgins, Marie

  Could he leave her here in Scotland and return home without ever thinking of her again, or worrying about her life? An ache formed in his chest, a foreign feeling he didn’t know how to handle. May the devil take him, but Gregg wanted her again! No other woman would do.

  She wanted marriage, he reminded himself. He couldn’t even think that way about her because it brought bad memories about their past. But after her lies had broken his heart, he vowed he’d never become that vulnerable with another woman again.

  Voices from the pathway brought him out of his thoughts and he looked up to see who was coming. Maddie helped Lord Calvin walk in the garden. Although the man had a cane, he leaned on Maddie with his arm around her shoulders.

  Jealousy crept into Gregg and he gnashed his teeth. Apparently his friend was trying to charm Maddie. After all, Drake was as much a rake as Gregg had been back in London.

  When they neared, Drake grinned. “Good news, Fielding.”

  Maddie’s head jerked up toward Gregg as if she didn’t know he was sitting there. Her eyes widened.

  Gregg nodded. “You have good news, my good man? Well, pray, tell me what it is.”

  Lord Calvin limped to the bench and Maddie helped him sit. Her rose scent drifted around Gregg, reminding him of how much he enjoyed her smell.

  “The doctor says I’ll be ready to return home in a couple of days.”

  Gregg smiled wide. “That is splendid news! I’m certain your family will be anxious for your homecoming.”

  Maddie lowered her gaze and turned to leave, but Drake grasped her wrist to stop her. “I’ve been trying to convince Miss Madeline to come home with me so she can be my nurse.”

  She chuckled, although Gregg could tell it was forced.

  “And I’ve already told you, Lord Calvin, Scotland is my home now. I’ll not leave. Ever.”

  Drake heaved a sigh and shook his head. “That’s a terrible waste, I tell you. You need to be where your beauty can be appreciated more.”

  She cocked her head and planted her hands on her hips. “My beauty? Pray, Lord Calvin, do you want me for your nurse or to decorate your home?”

  Her quick wit caught Gregg by surprise and he laughed. It’d been a while since he’d enjoyed the old Maddie’s clever remarks.

  Lord Calvin pulled her hand closer and kissed her knuckles. “Can I not have both?”

  “Certainly not, my lord. You are too confident for your own good.”

  Gregg’s heart grew softer the longer he gazed into her lovely eyes. He’d been lost in those before, and now he welcomed the distraction. Indeed, she had changed, and for the better. And heaven help him, he liked the changes.

  Drake tsked and shook his head. “Miss Madeline, do you leave broken hearts wherever you go?” He clutched his chest. “Because I fear mine is beyond repair now.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Oh, I’m quite certain it will heal quickly, just as your leg has.”

  Her gaze moved to Gregg and stayed. Her breaths became deeper, and the lines of stress on her face disappeared. Finally, she smiled, which made her blue-green eyes twinkle. “Besides, Lord Calvin, I have given my heart to another man, and I cannot possibly ignore the feelings inside me.”

  Gregg’s heart thumped in a quick rhythm.

  “What?” Drake’s voice lifted. “You have given your heart to another man? Here? At the Abbey?” He shook his head. “Your words are very confusing, Miss Madeline, unless of course you have taken your vows with God and have become a nun.”

  She pulled her gaze away from Gregg, which made his heart drop.

  “I shall never tell.” She lifted her stubborn chin.

  Lord Calvin sighed heavily and shrugged. “Such a pity.”

  “Now, if you kind gentlemen will excuse me, I have duties to perform before supper.”

  With her shoulders back and chin erect, she walked away. Gregg frowned, wishing she would stay just a little while longer. He wanted to run to her and pull her into his arms and smother her with kisses. To tell her he forgave her. Yet admitting he was wrong didn’t come easily. Confessing his love was even harder than he’d imagined. It seemed easy with Sister Mary, but with Maddie, everything seemed difficult.

  Just as she neared the side door of the Abbey, Drake shoved his elbow into Gregg’s side.

  He grimaced and scowled at his friend. “Why in the devil did you do that?”

  Drake arched an eyebrow and shook his head. “If you were waiting for the perfect moment to confess your love, you just missed it.”

  Gregg blinked. “Pardon? Why would I confess my love?”

  “Because you are enamored with the girl, that’s why. You have been sulking like a lost puppy these past few days, as has she. I have seen the way you watch her, and the way she looks at you when you don’t think she’s there.” Drake shrugged. “I’m not blind and neither are you. Now go and tell her how you feel before she becomes a nun. Or before we leave. Whichever comes first.”

  Chuckling, Gregg ran his fingers through his hair. Now was certainly a good time while he still had the nerve. Yet even as he stood and began his journey toward the Abbey—toward his confession—his stomach churned with indecision. He walked inside and peeked inside the kitchen. She stood next to three other Sisters as they peeled potatoes, diced them, and threw them in the boiling pot of water. He spied on her for a few minutes as she happily conversed with the other ladies before Gregg realized now was not the time to tell her. Later tonight would be better…after everyone was in bed.

  Once again, they would have privacy, and just thinking about it made him giddy as a schoolboy.

  Chapter Nine

  The soldiers were not acting right tonight. Madeline still wondered why they hadn’t left yet, but she didn’t want to say anything for fear they might ask about the missing soldier. From time to time, the Russian soldier watched her with hooded eyes, but she put on a smile and tried to pretend nothing was amiss.

  But tonight something was amiss. She could feel it in her bones. Especially when most of them started falling asleep, or when they talked their speech was slurred. Unless someone had brought them some heavy spirits to drink tonight, she suspected their drinks—or food—had been tampered with. Perhaps tonight was the night the prisoners would be freed from their hold. After all, they were well enough to travel now.

  She needed to get a note to her contact as soon as she could. Nightfall was almost upon them, and if she hurried, she might be able to get to her contact and back within an hour and not be noticed.

  Right after dinner, she went to her bedroom, rushed through changing into a dark gown, grabbed her black hooded cloak and left. She took the back stairs which was rarely used anymore. Once outside, she ran to the stable and grabbed a horse.

  A week ago when she had sneaked out to deliver her urgent message, she’d almost been caught by the Reverend Mother. However, this time if anyone caught her, she prayed it was her superior because perhaps there was something the Reverend Mother would do to help. Madeline couldn’t trust the soldiers, especially after Gregg pointed out the two spies were also dressed in British uniforms. There was no way of knowing who the traitor was or not.

  She’d been accustomed to riding bareback since being in Scotland, so she mounted and rode off quickly, not looking back to see if anyone noticed her leaving. The ride only took about twenty minutes, and soon she reached the church located in the nearest town.

  When she entered, a couple was leaving. They gave her a nod, and she returned the gesture. Straightway, she stepped toward the confessional, entered, and dropped the curtain behind her. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It has been a fortnight since I have confessed, and I fear I have not been in God’s grace.”

  She repeated the words which were a code to let the Father know she was here to give him a message. The curtains moved slightly as he peeked on the other side.

  “Proceed, my child.”

  “I think it’s tonight,” she whispered, leaning toward the curtain. “Th
e soldiers are acting most unusual. Most of them act as if they have just returned from consuming strong spirits. That is not like them at all.”

  “The prisoners are still there?”

  “They were there when I left, Father Irvine.”

  “Do you still have a pistol to protect yourself?”

  “I do.”

  “Return immediately and tell the Reverend Mother what we have talked about. She also has weapons hidden.”

  Madeline sucked in a quick breath. This was something new… But she was relieved to know she could trust the Reverend Mother. “I will.”

  “I will inform my men. God be with you.”

  “And you, Father.”

  She dashed out of the confessional and ran out of the building as if fire were on her heels. After jumping on the horse, she kicked the animal’s belly as she took off, praying she would make it in time to warn the Reverend Mother. Madeline was certain Gregg would assist as well.

  Oh, Gregg…

  It hurt to think of him leaving soon. Now that Lord Calvin was ready to travel, she knew Gregg and his friend would not stay much longer.

  If only Gregg had forgiven her, she would feel much better. If only he would return her love…

  Sighing heavily, she crouched lower on the animal and rode faster. Soon Gregg would be out of her live and she could return back to normal.

  Yet…she feared she would never be normal again.

  * * * *

  Where had that woman disappeared to?

  Gregg had waited after dinner to speak with Madeline in her room, but after sneaking upstairs to the second floor and entering her small chamber, he discovered her bed was untouched. However, he did notice her gray novice gown lay on the end of the bed, which meant she was wearing one of her old gowns now.

  Very curious.

  After creeping back down to the main floor, he wandered from room to room searching for her. It was as if she’d disappeared completely. He dared not ask any of the other Sisters for fear of drawing undue attention on Madeline—and himself. Although Lord Drake could see how much Gregg cared for Madeline, he seriously hoped the nuns didn’t see it.

  An hour had passed, and Gregg’s nerves were ready to snap. He considered himself a patient man, but because of the serious nature of his upcoming visit with Madeline tonight, every minute that ticked by had him more anxious.

  He tried not to think something awful had happened to her, convincing himself that because the Russian soldier spy was still here, then Madeline was all right. But as time slipped by and no sign of her, Gregg began to worry that maybe the Russian worked with another traitor in the group of soldiers. Gregg’s stomach twisted with dread.

  Night blanketed the land, but that didn’t stop him from venturing outside. His eyesight was better—although not fully operational—but at least seeing in the dark became easier each night.

  Wind howled through the trees, bending the branches low. Something foul was in the air—and it wasn’t just the scent from the stable. Uncertainty crawled over him almost like it had just before the cannon had exploded and nearly killed him and his friends. Indeed, something was wrong…and it involved Madeline.

  He scoped the area as much as he could with limited vision anyway, as he slowly walked around the outside of the Abbey. He prayed in his heart Madeline was all right. As he turned a corner, a dark shadow ran right into him… But it wasn’t a shadow. Just someone in a black hooded cloak.

  A squeak came from the woman as Gregg grasped her shoulders to keep her from toppling over. The hood fell from her head and blonde tresses cascaded over her shoulders.

  Relief poured through him. “Maddie! Oh, thank God you are all right.” He pulled her against his chest and held her in his arms.

  “Gregg?” She raised her head to look at him. “What is wrong? There is panic in your voice. What has happened?”

  The wind blew locks of hair into her face, so he swept his hand over her face to push back the curls. “I have been worried sick about you.”

  Her forehead crinkled. “What? Why have you been worried about me?”

  “Because you were nowhere to be found.”

  “You were looking for me? Why?”

  He ran his fingers down her soft cheek. “Can I not worry, my lovely? Especially when I have been searching for you for over an hour and now here you are—” he pulled back enough to look at her clothes, “—out of your novice gown and your hair falling about your shoulders. Pray, tell me you have not been out meeting another man, for it would surely wound me deeply.”

  A grin tugged at her lips and she rolled her eyes. “And whom would I be meeting, since you are the only man I have met who has the audacity to seduce a nun.”

  He chuckled. “Well, earlier Lord Calvin acted like he was enamored while in your company.”

  “And is Lord Calvin missing as well?”

  “No.”

  “Then I could not possibly be with him, could I?”

  Sighing, he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “I’m just grateful to know you have not been harmed.”

  “Not yet, but if you don’t let me go so I can get word to the Reverend Mother, we may all be in danger.”

  He released her and stepped back. Had his instincts been correct when he felt danger was afoot not too long ago? “Tell me what has happened.”

  She clutched his hand. “I will explain as we walk. Time is of the essence.”

  Gregg listened intently as they hurried inside. Her gaze swept the area as they walked, and he supposed she was making certain not to be overheard.

  “I confess I hadn’t really noticed the soldiers acting any differently tonight.”

  She stopped and faced him. “You didn’t?”

  “No.”

  “They didn’t seem intoxicated?”

  “Not any more than usual.”

  Frowning, she rubbed her forehead. “Do you think it was wrong for me to try to get help?”

  “No, but I would hate to have the truth come out about what happened to that missing soldier,” he said softly.

  “Indeed, that would not be good at all.”

  “If anyone takes the blame, it will be I. You had nothing to do with it. I was the one who killed him, remember?”

  “Yes, but I helped dispose of the body. That puts me just as much to blame.”

  He squeezed her hands, rubbing his thumbs across her knuckles. “Please don’t worry about it. Go on up to your room and I will look in on our soldiers. I shall even sneak upstairs to see if the prisoners are still there.”

  “Oh, no! You cannot! Gregg, you cannot handle them by yourself, and Lord Drake is in no condition to assist.”

  “But all I’ll be doing is peeking—”

  “Absolutely not. Gregg Fielding, you had better promise me right now that you will not do this. Let my contact take care of everything.”

  “Who is your contact?” He arched an eyebrow.

  “Father Irvine. He visits occasionally at the Abbey, but I don’t think he’s been here since your arrival.”

  “You trust him?”

  “With my life.” She nodded.

  “Then so do I.”

  “Please, Gregg. Return to your cot and allow me to visit with the Reverend Mother on this matter.”

  “I will.” He kissed her forehead. “Take care.”

  She smiled at him before turning and flying up the stairs. He chuckled to himself. Madeline had certainly changed, yet she was still full of mischief. Why had she involved herself in matters such as these…enough to know who the contact person was, for goodness sake! Did she not know how dangerous that was?

  Inwardly he groaned. She might not like it, but he was going to do something to protect her. It was the only way.

  * * * *

  Madeline left the Reverend Mother’s room feeling much better. She loved that woman almost like her own mother—whom she missed terribly—but was happy the Reverend Mother was ready with weapons in case something happened tonight
. The older woman’s expression was quite comical when realizing Madeline was also helping Father Irvine in trying to weed out the traitors and spies.

  The hallway was quiet as she tip-toed back to her bedroom. If something were to happen tonight to break the prisoners out, she prayed she would be able to hear the commotion so she could assist in stopping them. Nothing had made her feel more important than helping her country.

  At first when she started this, she wondered why men would still be traitors and spies even after the war was over, but Father Irvine explained to her that the Russians were sore losers and would do anything to strike back at England. She vowed to do all she could to assist in helping Britain.

  She opened the door to her room and stepped inside. Immediately, she noticed a man lying on her bed, propped up with his hands behind his head. A grin stole across his features.

  “Greetings again, my lovely.”

  Gasping, she quickly closed the door and pressed her back against it. “What are you doing here, Gregg Fielding?”

  “I thought I told you to keep your door locked.”

  She could have laughed. Of all things to say... “Yes, you did.”

  “Why didn’t you?”

  “I suppose it’s because I have had much on my mind of late.”

  He nodded. “I do understand that.” His gaze moved around the room and then met hers. “Do you mind if I come in?”

  “You are already in.”

  “So I am.” He scooted to the edge of the bed and stood. “Forgive me for entering without your permission, but I need to talk to you privately.”

  “Well, this is certainly a good place.” Her heartbeat boomed in her chest and she couldn’t calm her nervous stomach. He held a pleasant expression, but she dared not hope he was here to forgive her. More than likely he was here to try and seduce her again—to try and convince her that she was too passionate to become a nun.

  For now, he remained staring into her eyes as he walked toward her, only stopping when he stood in front of her. His fingers hooked a lock of her hair that he stroked gently.