“Like I said, I’ll help you. Promise.” Bonnie picked up her purse from the floor. “I’ll be there for your appointment this afternoon. Then we’ll begin planning your release and return home.”
As she walked out the door, she glanced back to see Stacy gazing out the window, deep in thought. Please help her be strong for Amber, she prayed silently.
Bonnie picked up Amber after school let out. They drove to the beach and settled on a bench overlooking the crashing waves. Clouds were moving onshore, and Bonnie knew it would likely be raining soon.
“So tell me what happened yesterday?” she asked.
“Some stupid girls were dissing me in the hallway. One of them sounded like she’s planning to pick up on Adam. They all knew,” she added, placing her hands protectively on her swollen abdomen.
Bonnie sighed. “I’m sorry, Amber.”
“They were supposed to be my friends…”
“Yeah. That happens. Girls this age are kind of fickle like that.”
Amber rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”
“So you took off?” Bonnie asked.
Amber nodded. “I needed to think.” She paused then shuddered. “What a stupid loser I am. I thought I’d be safe, and no one would find me under that bridge. I was even thinking of staying there all night.”
She looked Bonnie in the eye. “That man could have raped me or killed me.”
“Yes. He could have. But he didn’t. Someone was watching out for you.”
“The cop?”
Bonnie smiled. “I was thinking of someone else.”
Amber stared at her intently. “God?”
“Maybe. What do you think?”
“Yeah. I guess,” Amber conceded.
“Mrs. Baron told me that you really liked her church. Tell me about it.”
Amber smiled slightly. “It was cool. They had guys playing the guitar for the songs, and the pastor guy was easy to understand and kinda funny.” She paused, and then added, “It’s different than how I pictured church.”
Bonnie nodded. “Sounds like a friendly place.”
“Yeah. Everyone was nice.” Then Amber’s expression changed. “But they all seemed like good people, you know? I doubt if they’d like me if they knew I was pregnant.”
“Mrs. B knows, and she still likes you,” Bonnie offered.
“Yeah. She’s cool.” Amber nodded in agreement. Gazing out over the ocean, she added, “Looks like it’s going to start raining.”
“Yep.” Bonnie patted her knee. “Wanna go get a hot chocolate?”
Amber smiled. “Sure.”
They walked back to the car as the heavy drops started dotting the sand. “Hop in,” Bonnie said, clicking the remote unlock button.
Soon they were at the local coffee shop, Amber warming her hands on a mug of hot chocolate while Bonnie sipped her cappuccino. “I have some news for you,” she said.
“What?”
“Your mom is going home. You and Jack will be moving back in a week or so after she gets settled.”
Amber leaned forward. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Is she okay now?” Amber seemed concerned.
Bonnie looked at her and a wave of compassion swelled her heart. Here was a teenage, pregnant girl who’d just lost her boyfriend and whose friends had abandoned her, and she was worried about her mom’s state of mind. Stacy had better pull herself together. This backwards relationship wasn’t going to serve either of them well.
“Your mom’s going to be fine, Amber. She knows you and Jack need her. She’s ready to put the past behind her and start being a parent again,” Bonnie said, hoping she was right.
“Okay. That’s good news,” Amber admitted. “Jack will be really happy.”
“How about you?”
“Me, too, I guess. But I don’t know how long I’ll be living with them. Depends on what happens with the baby. I might have to figure out a way to get my own place.’
“Amber, you are only fourteen.”
“I’ll be fifteen right after he’s born,” she interjected.
“Okay, fifteen. That’s still too young to be on your own.”
Amber shrugged and looked away.
“I promised your mother I’ll be there to help all of you get through this.”
Amber nodded but didn’t make eye contact.
“Are you going to church with the Barons again on Sunday?” Bonnie asked, hoping a change of subject might help them reconnect.
“Maybe. If she wants me to.”
Bonnie smiled and patted her hand. “I’m sure she’d like that. She was really worried about you last night.”
“She was?” Amber seemed surprised.
“Yeah. She made me promise to call when we found you.”
“She’s cool,” Amber replied, her countenance softening again.
“Yeah, she is,” Bonnie agreed. “Well, I’d better take you home. I’ve got a meeting with your mom and her psychiatrist in an hour.”
They walked out the door, bracing against the rain with Bonnie holding out an umbrella for them both, and Amber pulling her sweatshirt hood over her head.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
The meeting with Stacy’s psychiatrist went well. The doctor agreed with Bonnie that it was time for Stacy to step back into life and resume her role as a mother.
In spite of Stacy’s hesitation, she pressed, “You’ll never know if you don’t try, Stacy. The last thing we want is for you to get so comfortable here that it becomes your new normal.”
To reassure her of their support, a schedule of visits from Bonnie and follow up appointments with the doctor were established.
“As you achieve success in this, your confidence will build,” the psychiatrist promised. “Just keep taking your medication, and we will walk you through the weeks ahead.”
She nodded and smiled slightly. The only indication of her anxiety was the unconscious nail biting that persisted throughout their meeting. At one point, she mentioned the idea of beginning to date, but both the psychiatrist and Bonnie urged her to focus on her kids.
“One step at a time,” Bonnie encouraged, hoping she would be able to handle the new challenges of parenting a pregnant teen.
As she accompanied Stacy back to her room, Bonnie offered to help with the actual move back home. Stacy readily accepted the offer, and they set up the details. If all went well, by the following week both kids would be back home living with their mom.
Then they could figure out how to best help Amber.
Stacy stood looking around the family room of their house. So many memories whispered to her from every angle. Memories of rocking babies, of snuggling with the kids and her husband on the couch, of homework on the coffee table, and a cat who had scratched the fabric to frays on the easy chair.
A photograph of the family poised on the end table pierced her heart. The four of them had been happy, hadn’t they? What had she missed? What caused the break in their marriage, and why did she leave this picture as a reminder of days that could never be recaptured?
She sank in a heap of floor.
How am I going to make it without him?
Exhaustion. Tears. Medication. Those were her new and constant companions.
Then the sound of a car pulling into the driveway caused her heart to race.
“Get up. They’re here,” she said aloud to herself. Standing, she smoothed her hair nervously as she braced for the responsibilities ahead.
“Hello?” Bonnie’s voice called from the open door.
“In here,” she replied, walking toward the hall to the door.
They met in the entry — Amber and Jack eyeing her, with suitcases clutched in their hands.
“How are you today?” Bonnie asked with a smile.
“Fine,” Stacy lied, every ounce of her wishing for an escape. She glanced down at Amber’s swollen abdomen and cringed inwardly.
“Go on in, kids. You can put your stuff in your rooms,” Bonnie said.
Amber and Jack brushed past her and down the hallway, splitting at the first set of open doors.
“How are you really?” Bonnie asked again.
Stacy’s hand shook as she brushed a stray hair from her face. “I’m trying, but it’s hard.” She turned and started walking back into the family room with Bonnie on her tail. “Have a seat,” she offered.
As they sat facing each other, Stacy glanced once again at the family photo.
“There will be more good times,” Bonnie said.
“Yeah. I guess.” She sighed wistfully then looked back at the social worker. “When will you be back?”
“I’ll stop by mid week and see how you’re doing.”
Stacy nodded. Three or four days on her own with the kids. She’d manage somehow. Besides, they’d be at school most of the day.
“You can call me anytime,” Bonnie broke through her thoughts to remind her.
Jack walked into the room, carrying a basketball. “When’s dinner?” he asked.
Dinner. She hadn’t gotten that far yet. It’d been a while since she’d had to cook for her family.
I think there’s a box of mac and cheese in the cupboard…
“Pretty soon,” she replied.
“Okay. I’m going out back to shoot some hoops.” He paused and glanced over at Bonnie. “See ya.”
“See ya,” she replied with a wink.
Stacy could feel Bonnie’s eyes examining her. She moved her nail bitten hands underneath her to hide the evidence of the jagged cuticles and stubby chewed off nails.
“Are you okay for dinner tonight?” Bonnie asked.
“I think I can feed my own kids,” she replied defensively, immediately regretting her tone of voice. “I mean, yeah. We’ll be okay.”
“Alright. Then I guess I’ll get going.” Bonnie stood and picked up her purse and keys from their resting place on the coffee table.
Stacy also arose to her feet, feeling a bit lightheaded. A flush of anxiety threatened to overtake her, and she heard in her mind the voice of the therapist.
Take three deep breaths. It’ll help you get your bearings.
She breathed in slowly, trying not to reveal her state of near alarm.
Thankfully, Bonnie didn’t seem to notice. But she did reach into her bag and pull out a business card, handing it to her. “Anytime. I mean it. Cell phone number is at the bottom.”
Stacy took the card from her. “Thanks, Bonnie.”
Amber was sitting on her bed, back propped against the headboard, when her mom walked into the room. She pulled an ear bud from her iPod out of her ear, letting the music still fill her from the other side.
“Is mac and cheese okay for dinner?”
“Sure. Whatever,” she replied. “You’re the mom. You decide.”
Her mother looked suddenly very vulnerable and fragile. “I just thought you might have certain things you like and don’t like, now that you’re… you know…”
“Pregnant?” Amber replied. “You can say the word, Mom. It’s not like I’ve got some plague or something.”
“I know. I guess I’m still having a little trouble getting used to the idea.”
“Join the crowd,” Amber replied, and then wished she hadn’t. Why was it so easy to be mad at her mother? It was her dad who messed up. “Hey. I didn’t mean it that way.”
Her mom nodded, took a deep breath, and walked out of the room. Several minutes later, Jack came in, looking upset.
“What did you say to Mom?” he demanded. “She’s in the kitchen crying.”
Oh great. Now she’d done it.
“Why do you have to be so mean to her?” he asked.
“I don’t know. She just gets to me.” Amber stood up, setting the iPod on the dresser. She could feel Jack staring at her. “What?”
“You’re getting really fat, Amber,” he said as he checked out her stomach.
“Don’t be such a jerk, Jack.”
“Well you are. Just look in the mirror.” He gestured toward the reflection from the closet door.
“I know what I look like. I don’t need you to tell me.”
“Whatever. If I were you, I’d go on a diet,” he suggested. “And you might want to apologize to Mom.”
“Thanks for the advice, pal. Now get lost.” She reached for the door handle, eager to close it behind him.
After he left, Amber slumped down on the edge of the bed. She’d wanted to come home for a long time. Now that she was here, it didn’t seem like home anymore.
She’d already made her mom cry, and now her brother had seen her without her sweatshirt on to hide her swelling abdomen. How was she going to tell him about the baby?
Someone, please help me. Who could she count on now? Her mom was still a wreak. Her dad was off with his new girlfriend. And her brother couldn’t stand the sight of her.
And then, without warning, a response from an unknown source. I will help you, Amber. I will be with you. I will never leave you.
Was she losing her mind? Or was there someone who really could help her?
Stacy watched her kids eat their mac and cheese as she tried to convince her stomach to comply. A feeling of rolling nausea kept her from taking another bite.
Everyone was silent, and she suspected there was something wrong between Amber and Jack. But she didn’t know how to fix it or what to say to break the tension that hung in the air.
Jack glanced over at Amber, who was scarfing down her second helping. She looked up at him, her eyes daggers. “What?”
“Nothing,” he replied, looking back down at his own food.
Stacy needed some fresh air. She pushed away from the table. “I’ll be out on the back porch.”
Then she left the kitchen without looking back.
Michelle noticed Amber hanging back as the other students exited the classroom. “How are things?” she asked as she collected stacks of papers from the front of each row.
Amber looked troubled. “Not so good. Can we talk at lunch?”
“Sure. I’ll be here.”
“Thanks,” Amber replied, slinging her backpack over her shoulder and pushing the door open. “See ya.”
After she was gone, Michelle shook her head. She thought things would be better for her student now that she was home with her mom and brother. But Amber looked more unhappy and anxious every day.
When lunchtime rolled around, Michelle hurried the last few students out of the room and left a note for Amber on the door.
RUNNING TO THE OFFICE FOR A MINUTE. BE RIGHT BACK.
When she returned, Amber was leaning against the wall beside the door. “Come on in,” Michelle said, unlocking the room.
Amber complied and took a seat in the front row.
“So what’s up?” Michelle asked, pulling her lunch out.
“Besides my mother being a wreck and my brother thinking I’m fat?” she asked as she rolled her eyes.
“Not going so well at home, huh?”
“You could say that.”
“Have you talked to your social worker about it?” she asked, offering half a sandwich to Amber, who declined the offer. “So, what about Bonnie? Did you talk to her?”
“No. She’s coming by tonight to check on us.” Amber pulled a granola bar out of her backpack and took a bite.
“So you haven’t told Jack about your condition yet.”
Amber shook her head. “How am I supposed to tell him? Just say, ‘I’m pregnant, Stupid, not fat.’?”
“You could probably eliminate the ‘stupid’ part. But he’s going to find out eventually anyway, right?”
“I guess,” she admitted. “I just don’t want to answer all the questions he’ll have when I tell him.”
“Like what?”
“Like who’s the dad? Why was I so stupid? What am I going to do when the baby comes?”
Michelle nodded. “Those are tough questions.”
“Yeah. And they’re none of his business.” Amber slouched down in her
seat and finished the granola bar.
“What are you going to do, Amber? I mean after the baby comes. Have you thought about that?” Michelle tried to picture this girl as a mother to a newborn. What a mess.
Amber teared up and turned her face away.
“You don’t have to answer that. I just wondered if you’d figured it out.”
She shook her head.
Michelle paused, praying silently for Amber and all the difficulties she faced ahead. “Is there anything I can do to help?” she offered in a soft voice.
The dam broke, and Amber began to sob. Michelle walked over and placed a hand on her back. “It’s okay, honey. Let it out.” She stood there gently rubbing Amber’s back as the girl’s body wracked with emotion.
Finally the storm subsided. Amber blew her nose and wiped her eyes. Her voice shook as she turned back to Michelle. “What would you do?” she asked.
Michelle didn’t know what to say. How could she possibly put herself in this girl’s shoes and give her an answer to that question?
She took a deep breath, shot up another quick prayer for wisdom, and replied, “I honestly don’t know, Amber. Being a parent is one of the best things that can happen to someone at the right time. But it’s one of the hardest jobs on earth. I can’t imagine doing it alone.”
“And Adam’s definitely not going to help me,” Amber said.
“He’s a kid, Amber. You both are.”
“Do you think I should give the baby up for adoption?”
Michelle flashed back to her experience with little Caleb – how she and Steve had rejoiced when they heard they’d be adopting that newborn, and how devastated they’d been when the birth mother changed her mind.
“I think that’s a really tough decision, Amber. It’s one you need to really think about and be sure of. There are lots of couples who want to adopt babies, and there aren’t many babies available.” She wondered if she should tell Amber about Caleb, but something in her spirit said no.
“I wish my dad would come home,” Amber said. “Then maybe he and Mom could help me raise my baby.”
Into Magnolia (Sandy Cove Series Book 3) Page 19
