Mob Bosses & Tax Losses

by Rachel Ford

  “Yeah. When we were talking about Fluff.”

  He swallowed, and stalled, “Uh, I don’t even remember.”

  “Yeah, you do.”

  Now, he licked his lips. “I…I didn’t mean anything, Nance.”

  She shook her head, pulling her hand out of his. “Fine.”

  Oh hummus. He watched her return to her lunch. “Nance,” he said, “really, it was nothing.”

  She glanced back up at him. “Alfred, it wasn’t nothing. You were getting at something. I don’t know what, but you were making too much of a deal about it to be nothing. About how it would be different if Fluff was a real son, and all that.”

  He blinked, trying to remember his words. Had he really said that? Probably not his finest moment…

  “Fine,” she said again. “Don’t tell me. But I’m not a mind reader. If you want me to know what you’re thinking, you’ve got to talk to me. And not in riddles, either. I thought…I thought we agreed on that already?”

  Sugar cookies. He had the distinct impression that he’d dug his hole deeper. And there was only one way out. “Look, babe,” he sighed. “You’re right…I was making a point. Just…I didn’t want you to think…well, that the way I treated Satan – err, Fluff – was any reflection of my parenting skills.”

  She, in turn, blinked at him. “Why…why would I think that, Alfred?”

  In the face of her incredulity, he didn’t have a good answer. Last night, it had made some kind of sense. But, now? “I don’t know. Just…something Justin had said.”

  One of Nancy’s eyebrows rose. “Justin?”

  “I know, I know. But he was talking about Fluff. Saying…well, maybe Fluff was a test run.”

  She frowned in confusion. “A test run? For what?” Then, her eyes widened. “You mean…for a baby?”

  He nodded, and she sat back in her seat. “Oh God.”

  “I know it’s dumb,” he hastened to assure her. “But, I just…well, I didn’t want you to think…I don’t know. That how I reacted to the kitten was how I’d react to a baby.”

  “Wow.” Nancy seemed stunned. “I mean, I didn’t think it was.”

  “Okay. Cool. Then, mission accomplished.” He was eager to leave this conversation behind, as soon as possible.

  “But Alfred…” She fixed him with another penetrating glance. “I mean…you’re not thinking about babies. Are you?”

  “God, no.” He shook his head. “I just…I wasn’t sure if you were.” It was his turn to scrutinize her. “You’re not, are you?”

  “Definitely not.”

  “Good.” He wasn’t sure if he was as relieved as he sounded. “I mean, it’s way too soon to be thinking of kids.”

  “We just moved in together,” she agreed.

  “A few months ago now,” he said, adding, “Close to a year, if you factor in the time we spent in Yngil-wode. But, yeah. Exactly.”

  “Good.” She laughed nervously. “You were worrying me there, for a minute.”

  He laughed too, and the sound came out high and awkward. “We definitely wouldn’t want to rush into anything like that.”

  “Exactly.”

  “I mean, we’re not even married yet.”

  She stared at him for a moment, and then stammered, “Uh, right.”

  For a long moment, they sat, fixed in place, holding each other’s gaze. “Nance,” he said in a minute, and his tone was low.

  “Yes?”

  “Why did you get a kitten, though?”

  She blinked. “What?”

  “Fluff: why did you get him now? I mean, you’ve had your place for awhile. You could have got him any time.”

  She shook her head, as if confused by the question. “It wouldn’t be fair to him. I lived alone, then. I wouldn’t have had time for a kitten. Now there’s two of us: we can make sure he gets plenty of attention.”

  “Oh.” Alfred felt an unmistakable twinge of disappointment at her words.

  “Why?”

  “Just thinking of what Justin said.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t know why you listen to that creep.”

  “Me either, Nance,” he admitted. “Me either.”

  Chapter Five

  “Well,” Nancy said, grinning at him, “here it is, babe: your last chance to chicken out.”

  He snorted, wrapping an arm around her. “You won’t get rid of me that easily, Nancy Abbot. Press the button. Let’s see if we survive your handiwork.”

  She’d finished her final round of pre-use testing of the spacetime manipulator, and concluded that they were ready to test it for real, in the field. Now, she took in a long, steadying breath – one that promptly unsettled the taxman – and pressed the button.

  Light washed over him, and white noise assailed his ears. A moment later, he found himself back in the living room – only, this time, watching himself and Nance the night before a room over. Even Satan was there, exactly as he remembered: on the table, where he had no business being.

  “Aw,” she whispered. “Look at you: so serious about your case.”

  He did, he had to admit, look very serious, frowning at a pile of printouts while Nance listened to his theories. “I’m telling you,” he was saying, “Ray was shivved long before he stepped foot in that cell.”

  Nance – the Nance from last night – smiled appreciatively at his turn of phrase. Glancing back at his Nance, he saw she was smiling too. “Ready to go home?” she whispered. “Before we scare the dickens out of our yesterday’s selves?”

  He nodded, studying the couple in front of him while Nancy punched in the coordinates. The sight warmed his heart in a way he couldn’t quite define.

  He couldn’t remember the last time someone looked at him the way she did. The fact was, he wasn’t sure anyone ever had, before her.

  She wasn’t interested in his detective. He was confident of that. But she was listening anyway, turning over his ideas in her mind; considering them; appreciating them.

  And, though he couldn’t begin to explain the tenderness of her gaze when she turned those beautiful blue eyes his way, the fact was, he loved her a little more for it. He loved her for a million and one reasons. But the way she loved him was certainly near the top of his list.

  The scene vanished with a flash of light, and then they were back in the living room. Satan was back on the table, too, twitching his tail at them.

  “Well,” she said, “see? We’re back, safe and sound.”

  He pulled out his phone, verifying the date just to be sure. Then, he nodded. “Alright. You didn’t kill us. This time.”

  She nudged him. “You brat.”

  He grinned, pivoting so they stood face to face. “Good work, babe.”

  “That’s more like it,” she smiled.

  He leaned in to kiss her, and for a long minute he forgot about everything else. Then, he drew back. “Nance, I’ve been thinking.”

  “Oh?”

  “I love you.”

  She cocked her head to one side. “Well, I love you too, Mister Favero. But why the serious face?”

  “I just…I wanted you to know that. You…you mean so much to me. I know I’m not always good at saying it, but…” He shook his head. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Nancy Abbot.” He meant it, every word. The fact was, he couldn’t imagine his life without her in it now.

  She smiled, and her eyes glistened with affection. “Wow. That…I don’t know what to say, Alfred. Except…” She stood on her tiptoes, kissing him gently. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, too.”

  He felt his heart hammer in his chest, and an idea hit him. Or, more like, an idea he’d been leading up to for awhile finally took form in his mind.

  He loved her. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Why not make it official? “Nance?”

  “Hmm?”

  He stared into her eyes, his pulse crashing like surf in his ears. The whole world seemed in that moment to disappear, until all
that remained was him and her. He cleared his throat, trying to find his voice. “Would you…that is…”

  It was now, at that precise moment, that Nancy’s phone rang. She jumped in his arms, and he gasped, “Fudge muffins.”

  Even Satan yowled in the other room.

  Nancy cleared her throat, laughing a little. “I suppose…I should get that.”

  He nodded, and she slipped out of his embrace. A moment later, she said, “Oh. It’s Josh.”

  Alfred scowled. Josh Stevenson was something of a mutual friend. They’d met the former marine on the Futureprise case, when they’d first encountered the time travel device, and their paths had been interconnected ever since. He’d saved both of their lives in the interim. By rights, the taxman knew he should have held the other man in higher regard.

  But Josh had also briefly dated Nance. And that was something for which Alfred could never quite forgive him.

  That, and he seemed to have the absolute worst timing.

  Nance answered the phone with a, “Hey, you. How’s filming going?”

  That was another source of sour grapes for the taxman. The last time Josh had worked with them, he had done it dramatically: stopping a shooter in full view of a thousand cell phones. It had happened at MarvelousCon, a convention celebrating Marvelous Detective Comics. And the marine had promptly been offered a recurring role as Agent Kilbourn in the MDC universe films.

  It was little consolation to Alfred that it was a small role. Agent Kilbourn, Nance had pointed out, was a supporting character, but a fan favorite. The taxman suspected the role would require little in the way of acting. Physically, Stevenson fit the profile – former military, in shape, and reasonably good looking. If he could drop a one-liner here and there and otherwise look overserious, he’d be able to keep up with the rest of the cast. Alfred had no doubt of that.

  He had a low opinion in general of superhero movies. They were, he felt, dreck – overblown, underdeveloped, and far more popular than they deserved. And, as far as he was concerned, the readiness with which the MDC fanbase had embraced Josh Stevenson only validated his worst opinions.

  That, of course, was a thought he largely kept to himself. Nance loved the movies, and was over the moon that Josh had got a starring role, no matter how small.

  So, scowling to himself, he listened to a parade of, “No way,” and “Oh my God, the Eugene Miller?” and “he didn’t! Oh, Josh, that’s awesome.”

  Finally, though, it seemed to be winding to a close. “Well, that’s fantastic. I’m so glad it’s working out, Josh,” Nance said. The taxman recognized her “it’s been good talking, but I’ve got to run,” tone.

  Then, though, she grew silent. Alfred frowned, watching her expression morph from interest to astonishment to delight. “You’re kidding?” Her eyes only widened more. “No, of course we can. Oh my God. You’re serious? Oh my God.”

  She was shaking her head now. “No, no, we’ll be there. Wow. That’s incredible – thank you!”

  Alfred’s frown deepened. What in the hummus is that marine up to now?

  “Alright, have a good one. Yeah, you too. Thanks again. See you this weekend.” She was practically squealing when she hung up the phone. “Oh my God.”

  “You just said that,” Alfred observed. “Several times.”

  She ran over to him, seizing him by the shoulders. “Babe – oh my God, babe, you’ll never believe what Josh just said.”

  The taxman was trying to be a good sport, but he was pretty sure that, whatever it was, it didn’t merit this degree of enthusiasm. “Oh? And what’s that?”

  “He talked to Eugene Miller. You know, the director? And he agreed to let us, and a few of the casts’ friends and family, backstage while they’re filming Fire Vortex.”

  “Fire…Vortex?”

  “Yeah. It’s the next movie. But, babe, did you hear me? We’re going to be backstage. We’ll get to watch them actually making the movie – making Fire Vortex!”

  Alfred grimaced. He’d been right: it definitely didn’t merit this level of excitement. “Well, that’s, uh, great. But, I mean, doesn’t he have anyone else he’d rather bring? A girlfriend, maybe?”

  She shook her head. “He hasn’t had time for dating. Not with the move and everything.”

  “Oh.”

  “But he knows how much we love the movies, so…” She shrugged. “He figured we’d want to go. I told him yes. Of course.”

  “Of course,” Alfred sighed.

  This pessimism, finally, broke through her joy. “You do want to go…don’t you? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

  “Um, yeah. Of course,” he lied, mustering as much passion as he could. It wasn’t much, but at least he managed to make it sound less like a punishment than it felt.

  She surveyed him for a moment. “I know these aren’t your thing, exactly.”

  “Hey,” he said, “it is a big deal, you getting to go backstage. I might personally think they’re stupid movies-”

  She laughed.

  “Okay, I definitely think they’re stupid.” He wrapped his arms around her and sighed. “But you love the stupid things. Of course I’ll go, Nance.”

  She smiled, leaning in to kiss him. “Thank you, babe. I’m going to have to get us plane tickets right away. And we’ll have to put in for PTO tomorrow first thing. I don’t think Caspersen will give us any trouble.”

  “PTO?” Alfred frowned. “When is this, again?”

  “This weekend. We’ll get there Thursday night. They’re going to be filming all weekend.”

  “Wait,” the taxman objected. “This weekend? But, Nance, Friday is my…”

  Her face fell, and she said at the same time, “presentation.”

  He nodded. “Exactly. I can’t miss that. They’re counting on me. Anyway, everyone is looking forward to this talk. I’ve been sending teasers to the mailing list, with profiles on the mobsters involved.” He was about to keep going, explaining all he’d done to boost interest in his particular speech. But she looked so crestfallen, so devastated, that he trailed off. “I…I can’t skip it, darling.”

  “No,” she said after a moment. “No, you can’t. It’s important to you.” She sighed, shaking her head. “And I said I’d go. So…so I’ll just text Josh, and explain the situation. I’ll tell him…I’ll tell him I forgot we had plans, so he’ll have to find someone else.”

  She nodded resolutely, and Alfred nodded too. “Because we can’t miss this, Nance.”

  “I know.” She smiled, and it almost pushed the devastated look off her features. “This means a lot to you, baby. We’ll go.”

  She pulled out her phone, and he saw her bring up the messenger app. She started to type out a message, her thumbs flying the way they did when she texted.

  Alfred watched her for a minute, and then groaned. Reaching out a hand, he took hers. “Stop, Nance.”

  She looked up now, surprised. “What’s wrong?”

  “I can’t let you give up your chance to be backstage for Fire Vortex.”

  She smiled, and there was a sweetness in her eyes that decided him. “Babe, I want to be there at your presentation too.”

  “Yeah, yeah. But not like you want to watch that dumb movie being made.” He shook his head. “You need to go, Nance.”

  She hesitated. “But what about your presentation, Alfred? What about ‘Mob Bosses and Tax Losses?’”

  He smiled at the title, not for the first time mentally patting himself on the back for that one. “I’ll still give it. I gave my word, and…let’s be honest…I don’t really give a sugar cookie about those movies.”

  She laughed. “I guess you don’t.”

  “But you do. And this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, remember? You need to go.”

  She regarded him for a long moment. “Are you going to be okay, if I’m not there to watch you give your big talk?”

  He snorted. “I’ll be fine, Nancy Abbot. I don’t need a babysitter.” Then, he shrugged. �
��Anyway, I’ll have someone film it. So you can watch it when you get back.”

  “Good. Because I wouldn’t want to miss it.”

  “Well, you won’t.”

  She smiled. “You’re sure you’re okay with this, Alfred?”

  “Of course I’m okay with it, Nance.”

  “Alright.” She nodded. “Then I’ll see if I can get Maggie to go with me instead.”

  “Your cousin Maggie?”

  She nodded, grinning. “She loves the movies too. Or, Dave Yankovic, anyway.”

  Alfred vaguely remembered the name. “He plays…Clodhopper? The big purple guy?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Well, that’ll be good. Now, maybe she’ll get to meet him.” The taxman didn’t particularly care about Maggie Abbot’s fangirling, but the idea that there’d be someone else there, someone else occupying Josh Stevenson’s time, did sit well with him.

  Nancy nodded. Then, she fixed him with a gaze so warm, he forgot his worries. “And Alfred?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Thank you, babe.”

  Chapter Six

  Alfred didn’t have much time to think about the Lorina case until Thursday rolled around. But then, he dropped Nance and Maggie off at the airport in the morning, and headed to work, alone.

  It was a long, solitary ride, and he found himself pondering the casefile just to get his thoughts off her. Since they’d started dating, they hadn’t gone a weekend without spending time with each other. Now, he wasn’t going to see her until Monday morning.

  The hours were already dragging long, stretching out, minute after minute, in his mind. He hoped getting to work would help distract him.

  It did not.

  On the contrary, like a predator sensing his vulnerability, Justin was waiting. And no sooner than had Alfred stepped foot in the building, did he move in for the kill. “Freddo. Today’s the day, right? Nance is heading off to Hollywood?”

  “It’s Alfred.”

  “How you holding up?”

  Now, he scowled at the other man. “Jesus, Justin, she’s going out of state for a few days. Not moving across the country.”

  Lyon raised his hands in a placating gesture. “Well, I guess that answers that, then.” As Alfred’s scowl deepened, he forced a laugh. “I’m just giving you a hard time, man. Like you say, it’s just a few days.”