Ayrie: An Auxem Novel

by Lisa Lace

  To be truthful, I had foolishly hoped Airik would think it was beautiful. I turned my head this way and that, looking at myself in the mirror. It looked good. Maybe.

  It was a pixie cut. The hairdresser hadn't known what it was. When I showed her a picture, she had said she could do it. She cut both men's and women's hair. At the time, I felt like she had never cut a woman's hair short, but she was willing to make me a pariah if I wanted it. I had felt strong when I was doing it, but now I wasn't sure.

  I huffed out my breath and stamped my foot. I had only been married to this guy for a few months. He was already determining my self-esteem and trying to tell me how to wear my hair. I wasn't going to take it.

  I gazed into the mirror. My determined blue eyes looked back at me. The pixie cut was combed forward on my head and lay sleek against my skull. A little curl in front of each ear gave me a saucy appearance as if I was really a pixie. I smiled at my reflection.

  Coming to this planet was supposed to start a new life for me, but I was wrong. My new hairstyle was a visible symbol of my reinvention, and it was just the beginning. I would show Airik he couldn't ignore me. He couldn't make fun of how I felt.

  It didn't matter if I didn't know exactly who I was myself. I was learning as I went along and if he didn't like it, it was too bad for him. I hadn't signed up to be a slave and do whatever he wanted me to. That wasn't in the contract.

  I was my own woman.

  The next big thing was finishing my training and starting to work with Rob. I could tell that Airik didn't like how well I did in my classes. I thought he would be happy I aced all my classes, but it was making him uncomfortable. Like we were in competition with each other.

  I had never wanted to go against him, but if he wanted competition, then he'd get it.

  I put on my new bikini with the sundress over it, slapped a floppy sun hat on my head and stalked out of the bedroom.

  "Are you ready?" Airik said, stiffly. Apparently we were still fighting. I had no problems with that.

  It was time for the staff beach party. He couldn't leave me home by myself. We were going together, even though we weren't getting along.

  When we arrived at the beach, we set our things down and laid out towels beside each other. We sat down on them without talking.

  "Hi, Quinn!" Rob came running up a big smile on his face. He was in swimming trunks. His chest was broad, and his abs were well-defined. I smiled at him, appreciating the view. He was my teacher and might be my future boss, so I kept my thoughts under control. "Nice hair. Want to come play volleyball?"

  I smiled brightly at him. "Sure. It used to be my favorite sport in high school." I turned to Airik, smiling triumphantly. Rob liked my hair. "See you later, honey."

  He winced a little at my sarcasm but responded politely. "I'll get you when they're starting the meal."

  I nodded, stood up, and pulled off my sundress. I was left standing in my bikini, and both men stared at my body. I kept a smile of satisfaction to myself, but I was pleased with their reaction.

  Airik immediately glared at his friend, who grinned at him, then headed over to where they had a beach volleyball net set up. I bounced into the front row, aware of what the motion did to my breasts, and held my hands up ready to set. I glanced over at Airik and saw that he was glowering in my direction.

  Good. Let him see what he was missing being such an ass.

  I turned to face Rob, who was also in the front row on the other team.

  "Ready, Quinn?" he said, a challenge in his voice.

  "Let's do it."

  Chapter Ten

  QUINN

  Today was our three month anniversary. I wondered if Airik even remembered. My attempt to get his attention had ended with us not speaking to each other for a week. That idea wasn't working. I had to set aside my troubles with my marriage to concentrate on my training.

  I was in a room stuffed with all the other Precog trainees. It was a large space with groups of overstuffed chairs, couches, treadmills, a track for walking that circled the whole room, and a games area.

  Everything about the room was designed to help us relax and calm our minds. Visions were difficult to call when your body is tense. Everyone had a different way to decompress. For some people, it was curling up on the couch. For others, it might be going for a walk. Our vision room was identical to the ones trained Precogs used all across Koccoran.

  Right now I was practicing recording with the Recorder trainees. Rob gave us a scenario. The Recorders asked us their questions, and we responded as if we were having a vision. The goal was to get us used to the procedure.

  Next week, we would be assigned a fully trained Recorder, who would start working with us whenever we had a real vision. As I finished my session with my Recorder, Rob approached us. He leaned over my shoulder and looked at my tablet. I could smell the strong scent of his aftershave.

  He smiled at both of us.

  "Good work, Quinn. The recording's spot on, too," he told the Recorder. "Quinn, can I have a word with you?"

  "Sure," I said, getting up and following him to the track. We began circling the room at a walking pace.

  "I wanted to tell you that your training is going very well."

  "Thanks," I said reaching up to tuck my hair behind my ear and realizing that there was no hair to tuck any longer. I began to feel nervous. I wasn't sure what he wanted to say to me.

  "We've taken into consideration your mature status and your abilities. We've decided to put you on an accelerated program."

  I frowned. Mature status? I looked around the room. Everyone else was a teenager or in their early twenties. I knew what he meant, but the way he phrased it made me feel like a grandmother. As for ability, I hadn't noticed that I was any different than the other trainees.

  "What do you mean?"

  "You're older than these kids. Your skills are already above what any of them will be able to do when they are completely trained. You'll be doing your regular classes but working directly with me as well. We'll be working late every day. The government wants you trained and in the field as soon as possible."

  "But..."

  "Let me put it this way," he said. He stopped and turned to me. "You're the cream of the crop, Quinn. You're at the top of your class. We need your talents out there saving people. This year we had another drop in population. It's important for us to save every person who shouldn't be dying before their time."

  "How fast is this going to go? I thought my training would take two years."

  "We can do better than that. It's going to be like we're married. Come here at six in the morning. We'll stay until eight at night. We can work on Saturdays. On this schedule, we're hoping to have you working before summer."

  "That's only five months away."

  "So we better get started now. I want to show you an advanced technique today called memory retrieval."

  He headed to one of the glass, sound-proof rooms on the side of a big area used for quiet training sessions. I followed slowly, trying to process what he had said. Was I really so unique I needed a special program? What would Airik think of me spending all this time at school?

  We had been growing more and more apart lately. At this point, I didn't care what he thought. I knew right then and there that I wanted this. I wanted to be special. I wanted to be the best Precog I could be. And I wanted to save people.

  I was born to do this. If he had a problem with it, he would have to learn how to deal with it.

  I got home late that night. The memory retrieval lesson took longer than either of us had expected. It was difficult, but when I finally got the hang of it the feeling had been euphoric.

  Now I was exhausted. All I wanted was to go to bed. Airik was working late too. He had messaged me that he would be home in an hour or so and that I shouldn't wait for him. I had a shower and crawled into bed. I didn't even bother to put on pajamas.

  I made a fire, and it was scorching in the apartment. I hadn't figured out how to
dampen the stove yet. In fact, I didn't put blankets or sheets over my body. I was nearly sweating. The air felt like the heat of summer back home. It comforted me as I fell asleep.

  I woke to the feel of a hot, hard body on top of me. A knee spread my legs, and I felt Airik thrust into me. I was wet and aroused, which meant he must have touched me in my sleep before I woke up.

  I wanted to be irritated with him. I wanted to sit up and stop him. I said I didn't want to have sex with him anymore, but the feeling of him plunging into me drove every thought except pleasure out of my head. In mere minutes, he had me coming so hard that I cried out. A moment later, he groaned, and I felt his seed filling me.

  "Quinn," he said. "I'm sorry you feel like I'm pushing you away. You were right. I'm keeping my distance."

  He gazed into my eyes, still inside me, his weight pinning me to the bed.

  "I don't know what you want this marriage to be, Airik. But if you're going to keep your distance, then we won't know anything about each other. I mean, if that's what you want..."

  His eyes looked troubled. "I don't know what I want, Quinn. Even if I want to let you in, I don't know how to change."

  The idea popped out of my mouth before I had time to think about it. "We learned something today that helps people with past traumas. It's called memory retrieval. What if I could find the memory that caused you to start pushing people away? You could release it, and you wouldn't do that anymore..."

  I trailed off when I saw the outraged expression on his face. He pulled out of me and sat up on the bed, looking down at me like an angry Greek god. He was furious. His chiseled muscles and naked body shook. I had never seen him look angrier before.

  "What's wrong?" I asked. I didn't have a clue what I had said that filled him with rage.

  "You were learning memory retrieval? Today?"

  "Yeah," I said, still confused. "That's why I was late."

  "Everyone learned it?"

  "No. Just me. They're putting me on an accelerated program."

  He sat back. "That's interesting."

  "Yeah. It was Rob's idea."

  "Okay," he said. I knew he still had a problem, but he looked like he wanted to hide his discomfort. "Go to sleep. I'll find out what this is all about in the morning."

  "What do you mean? Don't you think I'm good enough to be in an accelerated program? You never even came by to see how I was doing. How would you know my progress?" I said. I hadn't realized it had bothered me until now.

  He scowled. "You said you didn't want to ride my coattails. If I showed up there, everyone would know I was your husband and would assume that was the only reason you got in. I was trying to give you space."

  "Don't you mean keeping me at arm's length? That's what I'm talking about, Airik. You never asked me if I wanted you to come."

  I took a deep breath. All the closeness of the sex had evaporated, leaving us two separate people with a gaping chasm between us.

  "I don't know how to be what you want me to be, Quinn," he said.

  "That's the problem." I said. "And I also said no sex. Don't do that again."

  "Fine. Don't be asleep naked on the bed when I come home anymore."

  "Fine," I said.

  "I know you enjoyed it, Quinn."

  "Yes," I said. "I did. But that's not the point."

  "You're right. I'm sorry. It won't happen again unless you ask me."

  I knew he meant it. If I wanted him to make love to me again, I was going to have to ask — probably beg. I could deal with that. I didn't plan on doing any begging in the future.

  AIRIK

  "What are you doing with Quinn's training?" I said, after storming into Rob's office.

  He looked up at me calmly. He wasn't upset at all. "She's been placed on an accelerated program."

  "Who made this decision?"

  "I recommended it, and the head office approved."

  "But why?"

  "It's not any of your business, Airik, but I'll be straight with you. She's older than the other trainees and far more talented. There's no reason to keep her playing around with them. She could be trained in six months and saving lives in the field."

  "Not my business? She's my wife. You know that, Rob. You were at the wedding," I said, glaring at my oldest friend.

  "She may be your wife, but she's my student. I make the decisions here. My department isn't yours."

  I took a deep breath. I didn't need to piss him off. He would refuse to tell me anything.

  "Look. I'm sorry. She's just been driving me crazy lately."

  Rob's eyebrows nearly touched his hairline. "A woman has been making you crazy? That's got to be a first," he said, incredulous. "This is the same guy I went to school with that never got into a fight? Airik the Calm? The one who could never understand what I meant when I told him a girl was making me nuts?"

  "You have no idea."

  "Oh, I have an idea. You've finally met your match. And you don't know what to do about it, do you?"

  He laughed at me. I pressed my lips together and held on to my temper.

  "That's what the problem was at the company beach party, wasn't it? You're jealous. "

  "I don't know," I said, sighing. "She said she's tired of our friends with benefits arrangement. In fact, she's canceled the benefits part."

  Rob's face looked at me with compassion.

  "You have no idea of Quinn's capabilities. I don't know what you've been doing during your marriage, but you should pay close attention to her."

  "What are you talking about, Rob?"

  "She's got a 99.1% accuracy rate already."

  I sat down heavily in one of his chairs. "I've been working at this for years, and my accuracy rate is 99.3%. You must have made a mistake."

  "I've run the numbers five times, Airik. We based the analysis on over twenty visions. You know that's enough to get a proper baseline."

  "How is that possible?"

  "I don't know. She's something special."

  "She's amazing," I agreed, but my response sounded feeble, even to my ears. Did I know how amazing she was?

  "Are we talking about the same woman here, Rob?" I said. "Before she started training, she looked like she was having a seizure when she had a vision. She had no control whatsoever."

  "What can I say? I'm an excellent teacher. She certainly doesn't do that anymore. The visions she was having before were child's play. She's a Precog now."

  "Already? I can't believe it," I said. "And she's telling me you taught her memory retrieval? That's an advanced technique. She could hurt someone if she does it incorrectly."

  "I'm trying to explain it to you, Airik, and you're not getting it. She's a genius. She did two pulls on me, and one on Marla. It only took her fifteen minutes each time."

  "Fifteen minutes." I sat back, completely stunned. I was one of the best memory retrievers on the planet. And it took me thirty minutes, sometimes more, to find and retrieve the specific memory I needed.

  "You trusted her to pull one of your memories?" I said, not understanding why he would let a rookie do something so dangerous to his mind.

  "You are such an idiot, Airik." He shook his head. "I'm your friend. I'm going to tell you something to help you out."

  "What?" I said sullenly. I knew I wasn't going to like what came next.

  "Quinn is one of the most incredible people I have ever met. She is intelligent, beautiful, intuitive, and frankly the best Precog this training program has ever seen. She's better than me, and she's better than you. She will go on to have an amazing career."

  I folded my arms and was silent.

  "The question is, are you going to be there with her for it? If she's driving you crazy, if she's trying to get your attention, or if she's upset with you, that means you're not giving her what she needs. In my experience, when women don't get what they need from one man, they go to another and find it."

  "Are you saying she would leave me?"

  "I'm saying that what a woman needs, a wo
man needs, no matter the planet of origin. If you don't give it to her, someone else will."

  I stood up. "I get it. I appreciate the advice."

  "No problem," he said, without a smile.

  As I walked out of the building, I knew that Rob had been trying to tell me something. Did he want to take Quinn away from me? He said I needed to take care of her, or else another man would. He was probably right.

  What I couldn't figure out was if he wanted to be the other man.

  Chapter Eleven

  QUINN

  I sighed in frustration. The vision was disappearing again as soon I tried to tell my Recorder what I saw. Rob was playing the role of Recorder for me.

  "I can't do it," I said, standing up and starting to pace.

  "It's fine, Quinn. We've been steadily working for eight hours. It's time for a break."

  "No, I want to figure it out. It's one of the most fundamental things I have to learn."

  "It's basic, but that doesn't mean it's easy. Imagine rubbing your stomach and patting your head simultaneously. You have to split the activities in your mind and supervise them separately. Once you get it, you'll be able to do it forever. You just have to figure it out first. Can you tap your head and pat your stomach?" he said, demonstrating.

  I blinked, looking at him like he was crazy. "I don't know."

  "Did you ever play a musical instrument?" he asked, not phased by my facial expression at all. "It's the same thing, being able to read and play at once."

  "No, I didn't." I put one hand on my stomach and one on my head. I started patting my head, but as soon as I tried to rub my belly, my hands got confused.

  "This is stupid," I said. I scowled at Rob. "You make it look easy."

  "It will be easy when you get it. All you need is practice. Once you understand, it will become second nature for you. Until then, it's hard."

  "Hard? It feels impossible, Rob."