More Than a Skeleton

by Paul L Maier

  “I also think it is most important not to try to assign blame for this unfortunate episode beyond the four individuals who were directly responsible, one of whom is dead. Let’s just for once deny the conspiracy theorists their favorite game of concocting weird, sensationalizing scenarios that have no relation whatever to reality— but have every relation to financial gain at the expense of the naive.” Jon now made a strong effort to intercept any wrongheaded reactions to the Joshua affair that could surface in the future. Since the perpetrators were Jews, bigots might try to foment anti-Semitism. “But that would be utterly ridiculous,” he said. “It was a Jew—Dr. Gideon Ben-Yaakov on the platform here—who, with a small army of fellow Jews, saved my very life! Jews have been totally cooperative in every phase of our investigation, and it is the State of Israel that not only went to great expense to fly us here, but will see justice done in this case.”

  Jon knew that Christian church leaders might also be faulted as “gullible dupes” in the Joshua affair, but he tried to abort any such criticism by pointing out that some of the very best minds in all branches of Christendom were deceived, as was so much of the world.

  He now finished his introductory comments on a note of surprise. “This may shock you,” he said, “but I have something positive to say about Joshua Ben-Yosef that I could not have said yesterday. This man is a genius, in a very literal sense, and few people on earth have made a more careful study of Jesus or the Christianity that He founded. To be sure, he did this in order to deceive the world, as we all know. But in the process, so much of the thinking and spirit of Jesus of Nazareth seem to have rubbed off on him that nearly all of his public statements, as late as yesterday afternoon, have been amazingly Christlike—the very sorts of things we would expect a twenty-first-century version of Jesus to say.

  “Perhaps, then, we might try to divorce the message from the man and take very seriously some of the important things he said to Christendom. Now, I’ll be the first to admit how difficult this may be, considering the source, but truth has its own validity, no matter who expresses it.”

  A buzz of discussion wafted up from the front rows of church leaders with much nodding. Even Benedict XVI was smiling, though Pedro Cardinal Gonzales and several of his colleagues in the Holy Office exchanged renewed frowns.

  “But now it’s time for us to explain how we discovered Ben-Yosef’s fraud,” Jon continued.

  For the next hour, the conference tried to absorb all the information as it cascaded down from the three on the dais. Most reporters used electronic devices of all kinds to record and/or transmit the data to their sponsors. Video cameras, of course, were covering it all both live and for rebroadcast in prime time.

  After the explanations, Kevin Sullivan announced, “We’ll now take your questions. Please identify yourself and your sponsor.”

  More than a hundred hands shot up. Kevin tried to recognize them as best he could.

  “Victoria Chamberlain, London Times. Where is Joshua Ben-Yosef at the present moment? And his accomplice?”

  “Both are under guard in the Vatican jail.”

  “What will happen to them?”

  “Even though the Vatican has no formal extradition treaty with the State of Israel, Cardinal Buchbinder, the Vatican secretary of state, has assured me that both individuals in question will be returned to the State of Israel for prosecution.”

  “But what about Italy?”

  “The Republic of Italy has promised to honor the Vatican’s decision in this regard. Yes?”

  “Gottfried Heim, Berliner Zeitung. Vot vill happen to zem in Israel? Maybe ze death penalty?”

  “Perhaps Dr. Ben-Yaakov would be kind enough to reply. Gideon?” Gideon walked to the battery of microphones and said, “Israel has no death penalty, except for Adolf Eichmann–type crimes against humanity. Besides, even though murder was planned in this case, fortunately, it was not accomplished. The State of Israel will charge Joshua Ben-Yosef, Baruch Levine, and their accomplice in Galilee, Schmuel Sikorsky, with conspiracy to commit murder.”

  “Und ze punishment?”

  “This will vary. Generally it runs ten to fifteen years in prison. Yes?”

  “Umberto Richi, L’Osservatore Romano. Who is Schmuel Sikorsky?”

  “You may recall that he was the so-called blind man we mentioned earlier, the accomplice who guarded Professor Weber in Galilee.”

  “Ah . . . si. Mi scusi! ”

  “Yes?”

  “Peter Jennings, ABC Evening News. Professor Weber, we now know how Joshua raised an accomplice from the dead, how he cured the blind man, and other facts. But what about his other wonders— calming storms or miraculous control of languages?”

  The revelations Joshua had disclosed to Jon in the Galilee lodge Jon now summarized for Jennings, the press conference, and the world. A sea of smiles, shaking heads, “Aha” reactions, frowns, and looks of shocked incredulity greeted his words. After what became his longest response that afternoon, Jon recognized the next hand. “Tadaki Yamauchi, Tokyo Shinbun. I still not understand why Joshua Ben-Yosef do all this. Did he ever tell you?”

  “Yes. He and his three friends planned all this back in their student days as a way to vent their ire against mistreatment of Jews across the centuries, and to augment Judaism in a religiously competitive world. He thought he’d be able to co-opt Christianity for Judaism by excluding Jesus from deity—under orders from Jesus Himself, as it were. The resulting ‘Christian Judaism,’ he thought, would present a stronger response to the challenge of Islam. But that’s only a brief summary. A complete version of this and many other items in the Joshua affair will be provided you in media handouts on the long tables in the foyer of this hall at the close of this conference. They’ll be available in different languages. Yes?”

  “Renee St. Laurent, Le Monde. Put the case that you had not discovered the fraud, Dr. Weber: do you think Joshua Ben-Yosef would have succeeded in his plan?”

  Jon thought for a moment before replying, “I truly hope he would not have succeeded. Somehow, I think, he would have been found out sooner or later. I also find it hard to believe that the church universal would have demoted Jesus and abandoned the Creed it had developed at the first great ecumenical council at Nicaea. Yes?”

  “Alex Hopkins, USA Today. You mentioned that the State of Israel flew you and Dr. Ben-Yaakov here at great expense. Would you care to explain that, and why did you both arrive so late at the opening of Vatican III yesterday?”

  Jon looked at Gideon with a slight grin and shook his head, almost in bewilderment. Then he said, “Well . . . that’s a subplot in itself, and I’m afraid it would shift the focus away from where it belongs.”

  “Oh, please: can’t you tell us anything?”

  “Suffice it to say that I wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for superb detection and intervention by Dr. Ben-Yaakov here and a force from Shin Bet, the Israeli version of the American FBI. When we missed connections for our flight to Rome, the Israeli air force generously flew us here in two F-15 jet fighters. The rest of that story will also be available in the media handouts. I wrote copy on the flight to Rome, and the Vatican has been kind enough to reproduce it.”

  A huge din arose in the hall, and the next question had to be asked several times before order was restored.

  “Morgan Davis, New York Times. Yesterday evening, on the Fox Network, Dr. Melvin Merton claimed that Joshua was most probably

  Jesus after all, and that you, Professor Weber, were very likely attacking the Savior himself. Would you like to comment on that?”

  “Well, it would be a sad commentary, were I to make it. Please, simply, consider the source. Dr. Merton is always 180 degrees out of phase with anything I do or say.”

  “Boris Goldovsky, Izvestia. I haff a beeg qvestion for you, Doktor Veber. Becauss zees ‘second Jesus’ used tricks and people taught dey ver miracles, vot about da forst Jesus? Maybe da same teeng? Tricks den too?”

  Jon smiled and said
, “Now that’s a question I thought would arise earlier. In comparing the deeds and wonders of Jesus with those of Joshua, Mr. Goldovsky, I see a very profound contrast: those of Joshua were derivative, poor copies of the originals that Jesus performed. Those of Jesus involved no tricks whatever, no twins, no stooges, no—”

  “Vot means ‘stooges’?”

  “Sorry. For example, people with normal eyesight posing blindness so that they could later be ‘cured.’ Jesus’ healings also had much greater variety, while those of Joshua were limited, contrived, psychosomatic, or done through sleight of hand. And, again, the medical findings are contained in the handouts.”

  “Doris Dinwiddie, Reuters.”

  Instantly, Jon rued his mistake in recognizing that particular hand, which belonged to his nemesis from previous press conferences. Always the most outspoken and provocative member of the press corps, Dinwiddie had for years been a White House correspondent— until her acerbic ways led President Sherwood Bronson to ban her from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Others, however, admired the journalist’s probing style and uncanny ability to cut to the bone on whatever issue she chose to explore, which was why Reuters had rescued her career. Jon now clenched his back teeth and prepared for the worst.

  “Ah . . . Professor Weber,” she said, “in your opening remarks you claimed that the Joshua caper had not done any harm to Christendom. I beg to differ. Despite your disclaimer, the high church officials in this hall have indeed been taken in as ‘credulous dupes.’ But very likely, ‘credulous dupes’ were also taken in during the first century by the first Jesus. So maybe the whole foundation of Christianity has cracked wide open, and Joshua was only doing us a service: helping usher it into the dustbin of history, one of many myths from the past that have no relevance today. And maybe—”

  “Are you making statements about your own opinions, Ms. Dinwiddie, or asking a question?” Jon wondered, amid a rising murmur in the hall. “All you’ve done so far is to restate Mr. Goldovsky’s question, though without the question mark, and preach to us in the process. So let me do some restating of my own: as I said previously, the Joshua fraud has done no harm to Christianity whatever—for anyone with normal intelligence,” he added, under his breath.

  Then he suddenly brightened and continued, “In fact, I think it may even have helped the credibility of the faith in confirming the prophetic powers of Jesus Christ Himself. Not only did He provide a deadly accurate prophecy regarding the destruction of Jerusalem—fulfilled to the letter less than four decades after He made it—but He also predicted that there would indeed be false Christs in the future. In Matthew 24, He specifically said: ‘For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect, if that were possible.’ Obviously, Joshua Ben-Yosef, without intending to do so, has just fulfilled that prophecy to the letter!

  “But now, patient friends in the media, it’s time to draw this conference to a close, so please permit several final comments. And the first is this: God can indeed make the proverbial silk purse out of a sow’s ear. This otherwise sorry episode has stimulated the church universal to come together at the Third Vatican Council. In terms of hopes for additional unity in the church, only great good can come of this! As you already know, Vatican III will indeed remain in session, and—no longer distracted by a master actor—it will draw from Jesus’ true spiritual presence.”

  In closing, Jon extended gratitude to the pope and the Vatican for providing the venue for Vatican III and offered special thanks to Sullivan and Ben-Yaakov—and also to someone he had overlooked. “I should mention, too, that Jeffery Sheler and his fellow staffers at U.S. News and World Report were a great help to us in various phases of the Joshua investigation. Oh, I see Jeff out there in the audience, and I must say that he showed great restraint in not asking any questions this afternoon. Do stand up, Jeff!”

  He was greeted with a warm applause.

  “Many further details await you in our handouts. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen of the media, and good afternoon!”

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  Relief and elation percolated through the conversation of four supremely happy people as they dined that night at La Méla Segréta (“The Secret Apple”), a restaurant overlooking the Tiber. Jon and Shannon were on one side of the table, Kevin Sullivan and Gideon Ben-Yaakov on the other. Pinpoints of light speckled the scene, whether from candles plugged into old wine bottles at their table, fireflies cruising over the river, streetlights on the opposite bank, or a thousand stars overhead. A boat floated by with a gondolier singing “O sóle mìo.”

  “That guy’s lost,” Shannon commented. “He should be up in Venice!”

  Jon, of course, was in a particularly rare mood. “It’s amazing,” he told the others. “Just yesterday I wanted to see Ben-Yosef roasting in the infernal regions, especially because of that cyanide cocktail he was ready to serve up for me. But now, I don’t know . . .”

  “Are you getting Christlike on us, Jon?” asked Kevin. “Forgiving your enemies?”

  “It’s just that . . . somehow, we ought to try to understand the man. Maybe he does need psychiatric help, especially after what happened to his parents. One thing’s sure: we really should take advantage of that marvelous mind of his. Just letting him rot in prison seems stupid.”

  “You mean you’d want him released?” asked Gideon. “You won’t testify against him in Israel?”

  “I mean nothing of the sort. I just wonder if, somehow, we couldn’t work on his moral sense—if indeed he has one, of course. That way he could do something positive for the world instead of misleading it.”

  “Like what?” Shannon wondered.

  “Well, he’s a polymath, thanks to his parents. Biochemistry and medicine could maybe get his cooperation in finishing their book— with safeguards, of course. The computer science people might tap his genius to build better firewalls against cyberterrorism. Psychiatrists, psychologists, and sociologists could study why the man had such powerful personal magnetism, even to the point of literally curing some people. Musicologists could encourage him to compose great symphonies, and then try to determine how his creativity was able to achieve them. I mean, the man has an intellectual Midas touch: whatever he undertakes in the arts or sciences could yield great things for humanity.”

  “I’m afraid you’re dreaming, Jon,” said Gideon. “The man tried to kill you!”

  “On the other hand,” Kevin observed, “there’d be nothing wrong in trying your approach, Jon. And here’s one reason why: left to himself, brooding away in his dungeon, that prodigy mind of his might hatch something even more evil yet. Then he’d be a horrible menace when released, a real monster—‘with attitude’— let loose on humanity!”

  It was over their second glasses of Chianti that Shannon nearly caused a scene. Knowing full well that she might be speaking too loudly, she nevertheless demanded, “Enough of Ben-Yosef, gentlemen! I’ve been asking what happened during Jon’s disappearance ever since his reappearance. But all I get from you is ‘We’ll tell you over dinner.’ Well, here comes dinner! When’s the telling?”

  “Okay, patient princess,” said Jon grandly. “Here—at your invitation— is the story. Feel free to jump in wherever you like, Kevin and Gideon. Actually, all three of you people had a hand in saving my life, but you, Shannon, lit the fuse, so to speak. Why not start off at your end in Rome, Kevin?”

  “Okay. Saturday night, when you returned from Tivoli with the ladies, Shannon, you had trouble getting to sleep and called Alitalia about Jon and his flight to Athens, right?”

  “Yes. I was so frustrated. Alitalia claimed they couldn’t divulge any names on the passenger manifests, so with that—and the language problem—I gave up and called you instead, Kevin.”

  “And thank God I was in,” he continued. “Naturally, I called Alitalia and pulled rank—in the name of the Holy Father, no less— and they gave me their full cooperation! I spelled out Jon’s name, and they did a
search for it in the passenger lists of all their flights from Rome to Athens over a forty-eight-hour period straddling the approximate time he would have made the flight, according to Joshua.

  “A half hour later, they called back to say they had drawn a complete blank. ‘Maybe Professor Weber had chosen another airline,’ they suggested. I then asked that they contact all other airlines flying planes from Rome to Athens at the time. I realized it was an outrageous request, but I told them that this was not only in the national interest, but—and then I really fibbed—that this came at the direct request of Joshua-Jesus himself. No argument with that! And so they went to work.”

  “Why didn’t you simply call Joshua about it?” asked Shannon. “I certainly would have.”

  “I too. But it was now one o’clock in the morning, and I—”

  “Oh, that’s right. Go on.”

  “Around two-thirty, Alitalia called me back with word that Jon’s name appeared on no passenger manifests of any airline for that route and time frame. Well, that shocked my socks off. My brain started spinning out some fairly dark thoughts, I’ll tell you. You see, I thought it extremely strange that Jon hadn’t contacted me at all after arriving in Rome.”

  “As I obviously would have!” added Jon.

  “Fact is, that alone should have sparked my suspicions. But I was so swamped with last-minute preparations for Vatican III that my guard was down. Still, I gave Joshua one last chance for honesty, thinking that maybe Jon had flown to Athens by private jet. So, at three o’clock our time—four o’clock in Athens—I called the residence of the archbishop of Athens. To my horror, the great man himself answered the phone—yes, ‘His Beatitude, the Archbishop of Athens and All of Greece, Christodoulos II’ answered the phone! I introduced myself and had to beg his forgiveness for the hour at which I was calling, of course. Then I asked if Professor Jonathan Weber had arrived there to discuss Vatican III with him. ‘Whaaat?’ he replied, angrily. ‘I avv no idea whaaat you are talking about!’ and hung up on me. And so I guess I’ve merely set back ecumenical relations with the Greek Orthodox church for another thousand years!”