Dance of a Lifetime

by Frank Downey

  "Why do you call him that?" Alexa asked.

  "He's from Boston. They eat lobster there, don't they?"

  "I love lobster," Warren interjected. "Papa Bear, what the hell are you doing here?"

  "Looking for you. Tim told me where you were. I forgot it was your 'glide around the ice aimlessly and hope Sophia shows up' day."

  Warren couldn't help but laugh. "You saw through me, too?"

  "Of course. Papa Bear is all-knowing, all-seeing." He had worked his way to the stands, and planted himself next to Alexa. "Like I said, I was looking for you. I wanted to hang out, see if you wanted to go find something other than dorm slop for supper."

  "That sounds appealing."

  "You too, Lex, if you want."

  "Naaah. After I watch Twinkletoes twirl the ice a few times, I have stuff to do."

  "Too bad. You brighten the scenery." Alexa giggled at him. She had gotten to know Paul pretty well through Warren, and was used to him. "Anyhow, Warren, are you going to take this pretty girl's advice, or what?"

  "Oh, I don't know. Look, remember, she dumped me for another guy. And I have no idea if she is still with him, or what."

  "She's not, I know that for a fact. I also have information that he was gone five days after she dumped you, and that it was very unpleasant. But I don't know any more specifics." Papa Bear informed him.

  "I didn't know you knew this much. Where did you get this? Why didn't you tell me?"

  "I have my sources, and you never asked. I thought you knew. Shit, Warren, you've seen her. I was with you, the last time, in the student union last week. Did she look happy to you?"

  "No. I think I need the whole story."

  "Can you ask her roommate?" Alexa wondered.

  "I don't know. I don't know Elise very well." Just then, he clapped his hands together. "But I know who I can ask! I don't know her number at school, but I can get it."

  "Who?" Alexa asked.

  "Jessie, that's who! And I happen to be going away this weekend. To Chicago. To Northwestern, as a matter of fact, to see Crash."

  "Aaaah," Paul said. Both Paul and Alexa knew all about Crash and Jessie. "And Crash still talks to her."

  "Regularly. They broke up, but that was just a convenience thing. They've dated in college, but I know for a fact that they are looking very forward to the Christmas reunion. And they talk all the time."

  "So, while you're there, you'll have Crash call her and you'll pump her for info."

  "You got it, Papa Bear."

  * * *

  Sophia had barely thought of ice dancing since the breakup with Warren. She only thought of it when someone goaded her about it--usually her mother. She had begun to dread the phone calls from home. She was just picking up the phone for another one.

  "Hi, Mom."

  "Hello, sweetheart. Have you talked to Warren yet?"

  Sophia sighed. "Do you have to start every conversation with the same question?"

  "Until you give me the answer I want, yes."

  "It's not going to happen, Mother. It's over."

  "Are you happy with that?"

  Sophia didn't say anything.

  "That's what I thought."

  "Mom, it's complicated."

  "How complicated can it be? You broke up with him. It was a mistake. So you tell him that."

  "It's not that easy."

  "I have his cel phone number, you know."

  "MOTHER! You would not DARE!"

  "I'm tempted." Sophia heard Ellen's sigh on the other end of the phone. "Sophia, you haven't done something this self-destructive since... well, since Scott."

  "Breaking up with my boyfriend is self-destructive?"

  "Breaking up with your boyfriend on an impulse, and then regretting it later and not doing anything about it, that is what is self destructive. Plus, I know you're not taking care of yourself."

  "What?"

  "Last time I tried to call you, you weren't there. So, I had a little chat with Elise. You know, Elise, your roommate? She says you're not eating, you're not sleeping, you mope around all day, and you look like something out of the night of the living dead. "

  "She's exaggerating."

  "Is she. Honey, please go talk to Warren. Fix this."

  "Mom, it's unfixable. He deserves better than me."

  Ellen took a deep breath. "Honey, do you really think that a guy who put so much hard work into helping you build up your self-esteem would agree with that?"

  Sophia inhaled sharply at that.

  "That's what I thought," Ellen said. "Think about it, Sophie. You thought you weren't good enough for him once before, remember? He disagreed with you then."

  "That's different. I hadn't hurt him then."

  "You're right about one thing. You did hurt him. But staying away from him won't fix that hurt. For either of you."

  Chapter 58 - Old Friends

  Author's note. The game for chapter 58: spot the Monty Python reference. Caller number ten with the correct answer wins The Spanish Inquisition. Nobody expects The Spanish Inquisition. And, no, that wasn't it.

  * * *

  "Here." Crash was handing Warren a sandwich. "Got these at a deli in downtown Evanston. Keep 'em in the fridge.

  "Damn, Crash, you rule. I love Ruebens."

  "I know you do. And this place makes great sandwiches."

  Warren took a bite. "Shit, you ain't kidding." Crash handed him a small foil package, which he unrolled. "A kosher pickle, too? You know how to treat a guest, pal o' mine."

  It was Saturday, early afternoon. Warren had arrived on Friday night, and Crash had shown him around. They had hit a few campus hotspots and a party or two. Warren had stayed in Jason's room--his roomie was out of town, that's why they had planned this weekend.

  "Crash, this is a helluva sandwich."

  "Glad you like it. Got it for you, since I know Ruebens are your thing, and a buddy of mine, who likes Ruebens, said that these guys made a great one. I'm partial to their roast beef, here. That's one of the nice things about going to school in a big city like Evanston. Lots of stuff around."

  "True. Rather unlike beautiful bucolic Madison, Wisconsin."

  "Yeah, but I bet that has its advantages."

  "Well, yeah. The campus is gorgeous. The town is very focused towards the college. And, this is Wisconsin, and you know how much I love cheese. And they even have cheese shops."

  Crash looked at Warren. "Cheese shops? Shut that bloody bouzouki UP!"

  Warren doubled over with laughter, and then said, "I don't care how fucking runny it is!"

  They calmed down and Crash took a bite of his sandwich. Then he looked at Warren. "We've talked on the phone a lot, but I was waiting until I saw you in person to ask you this."

  "Wassat?" Warren asked through a mouthful of Rueben.

  "When the fuck are you going to do something about Sophia?"

  Warren sighed. "That seems to be a running theme, lately. You aren't the only person to ask that."

  "Well?"

  "What's to do, Jason? She dumped me."

  "Yeah. And regrets it to such a degree that she cries herself to sleep more nights than not. I know that for a fact. And you know my source of information is rock-solid."

  "Jessie."

  "You got it."

  "I don't know any of this, you see? She dumped me. For another guy."

  "Oh, yeah, and that other guy turned out to be Scott The Second."

  "WHAT?"

  "He hit her. And practically raped her--she was, technically, willing, but he did it with such brutality that it felt like a rape."

  "Oh Jesus Christ. And she still doesn't come to me and tell me any of this."

  "Warren, she's ashamed."

  "Yeah, she would be. I know Sophia well enough to believe that."

  "You have got to make the first move. She's tearing herself apart. And you don't need to hear this from me, by the way. My Saturday Afternoon Date is about fifteen minutes away."

  "Huh?"

&
nbsp; "Jessie calls me every Saturday afternoon. I call her on Wednesday nights. The phone should ring shortly. And she can tell you."

  Warren took a deep breath. "I don't know if I can do this."

  "Sure you can. You must miss her. I know you still love her." Crash grinned. "And you're probably hornier than hell."

  "The first two are true. The last one is not. I've been with five different girls since Sophie dumped me."

  Crash almost choked on his roast beef. "WHAT????"

  "It's true. I can get it anytime I want." He explained about Alexa and her friends.

  "Wow. Jessie's gonna love this--you really are the Prep Stud," Jason said incredulously.

  "I told Alexa about Jessie giving me that nickname, now Alexa calls me that," Warren smiled.

  "So, you've forgotten about Sophia in a hurry, is what you're telling me?"

  Warren snorted in derision. "Yeah. Fat fucking chance of that. I'm just using sex to fill a hole that ain't gonna be filled no matter how hard I try, but at least it keeps me from slitting my wrists. And it is fun." He took another bite of his sandwich. "It's ironic. I'm probably living most guys' College freshman fantasies. Unfortunately, it's not mine."

  "Yeah."

  "Hey, where's the bathroom?"

  "Go out the door, turn left, third door on your right."

  "Got it."

  Warren did his duty, and went back into Jason's room. He found him on the phone.

  "He just walked back in," Crash was saying. "Here," he handed Warren the phone.

  "PREP STUD!!!!!!!"

  "SHE-DEVIL!!!! How are you doing, Jessie?"

  "Wonderful. How you doin'?"

  "Hangin' in there."

  "You put up a good front, Warren. How miserable are you, is what I should have asked?"

  "Well, you know, Jess. Doing the best I can."

  "Yeah. Crash just told me about your extra-cirricular activities. Five different girls in a month? You're trying to live up to that nickname, aren't you?"

  Warren laughed. "It's something to do, you know?"

  "And you're making lotsa girls real happy, I know, I speak from delicious experience." Warren cracked up laughing. "OK, all these girls--is it just sex?"

  "Yeah. Well, this one girl, the one who got me into this--Alexa--we are good friends. But that's all we are."

  "Good. So, what about Sophia?"

  "You tell me, Jess. I haven't talked to her in over a month. She dumped me for another guy. I just found out today--from Crash--that the other guy turned out to be an asshole."

  "Oh, Jesus, did he. Look, Warren, Sophia made a mistake. A big, huge, what-the-hell-have-I-done mistake. I do not know what gets into that girl, but her self-destructive streak is a wonder to behold. She's miserable. Her roommate told me she's losing weight, doesn't sleep, cries all the time, and mopes around all day. She's apparently keeping her grades up, but that's it. I talk to her, and she cries 'I want Warren back!' and when I tell her to go get you back, she says that you're too good for her, and she's unworthy, and you can do better, yadda yadda yadda. Warren, she's my best friend. FUCKING DO SOMETHING! Would you please?"

  Warren sighed. The pressure and upset was finally starting to get to him. "Dammit, Jessie, why is it up to me? She dumped me, remember! Why is this up to me?"

  "Because you've always been the strong one in that relationship, you know that."

  "Yeah. And, Jessie, there are times that it sucks. She fucked up, and I've got to fix it. She single-handedly made my life a living hell because SHE got a Goddamned ITCH and I've got to fix it?" He took a breath. "I'm sorry, Jess, this isn't directed at you. I've been bottling this up for a month."

  "I know. Warren, do you still love her?"

  "Yes."

  "Would you be happier if you guys were still together?"

  "Yes."

  "Swallow your pride, Warren."

  "I see your point, Jess, but it's not just pride. I would be happier if we were still together, yes, but by that I mean if we never had split up. Getting back together, now--I don't know if that would be the right thing to do. Especially if I'm the one that has to carry the ball, when I'm not the one that ended it."

  "Why does that make a difference?"

  "Because, for us to get back together, she has to convince me that she really wants to! I'm not going to get back together and look over my shoulder waiting for this to happen again. I can't do it. My feelings have never been in question, here, at least they shouldn't be."

  "You weren't faultless in this, Warren. You know you could have pulled your nose out of those textbooks of yours more often."

  "I know that, Jessie," Warren sighed. "But it was still no reason to destroy everything. I never, ever, ever, for a millisecond even contemplated breaking up with her, or losing her. I did not want this. She did."

  "I understand, Warren, I do. Think of this, though. Do you want to go through the rest of your life wondering what if?"

  "I don't know if that's as bad as going through the rest of my life wondering when she's going to leave again." Warren sighed. "Jess, I'll think about it. OK?"

  "OK. Please do. I care about both of you. You belong together. Can I talk to that hunk of a Crash, again?"

  "Sure, Jessie. Hey, take care of yourself, OK?"

  "You too."

  * * *

  Warren took a walk around campus for a while, to think but also to give Crash some private time on the phone with Jessie.

  "You done?" he asked when he got back to Crash's room.

  "Just hung up. You missed some good phone sex."

  Warren cracked up laughing. "So, what's up with you two, anyway?"

  "I just told you. Phone sex. Long distance relationships suck."

  "Waitaminnit. I thought you guys didn't have a long distance relationship."

  "Yeah. That's what we keep telling ourselves. This came up when I talked to her on Wednesday, actually. We had originally decided that, if I was dating or sleeping with someone, she didn't want to know, and vice versa. We were gonna do whatever while we were away, talk on the phone and write to one another, and see where we were every time we got back home. Well, on Wednesday, she asked me if I was dating. I told her the truth--a little, nothing serious, mostly just friends. She told me she had the same thing. We're both free to date. We're both free to do whatever. Neither of us wants to, and we're both crossing days off on a calendar before we're both back home. I compare every woman I meet to Jessie. They all fail. It was a good idea, cutting each other loose. It was even logical. It was also useless." Crash gave Warren a rueful smile.

  "Wow. How are you guys handling this?"

  "Not bad, all things considered. Hey, we're still free to go out, have a good time, even try to find someone else. I just don't think that's ever going to happen."

  "Yeah, but this is just the first semester. Are you going to be able to keep this up for four years?"

  "Well, there's a possibility we might not have to. She hates Umass, you know. There's no need for her to come to Northwestern--you don't wanna pay this tuition to go into nursing. But there are other schools she's looking into."

  "Really."

  "Yeah. Us being apart just makes no sense, to either of us. I love it here, and there aren't too many schools that are better than Northwestern if you want to go into law. She hates it there, and you can study nursing lots of places. The big thing is the money. Most places are going to be more expensive than Umass. But, she's talked to her parents about it. They have a budget, of course, but there are some options."

  "That's awesome. I hope it works out all right."

  "Yeah. I miss her. Of course, I'm talking to a man whose soulmate lives seven floors above him and they're not fucking speaking."

  "Crash, lay off, would you please?"

  "All right. I'll say it once more, then I'll shut up. You two belong together. Fix it."

  "Someone should tell her that."

  "Leave that to the She-Devil. Now, let's go to the student union so I can
kick your ass at pool."

  "That would be a first, pal."

  * * *

  Sophia was in her room, studying, when her phone rang.

  "Hello."

  "Greetings from Amherst, Massachusetts. Whassap, girl?"

  "Hiya, Jess? How you doin'? How's Crash?"

  "Great, and great. I just got off the phone with him, actually. Had a nice talk with his weekend visitor."

  "He's got a weekend visitor? Who?"

  "Well, Evanston, Illinois is not all that far from Madison, Wisconsin, you know."

  Sophia took a breath. "Warren."

  "Yup. Prep Stud, in all his glory, cavorting around Evanston with the Crashmeister. We had a long talk."

  "How's he doing?"

  "You could go down seven floors and ask him that yourself, you know. How's he doing? He's fucking his way through the University, apparently. Five different girls since you gave him the heave-ho. He let a friend take him to bed, she found out what I already knew--that he is, indeed, the Prep Stud--and now he's got a line forming, because his friend spread the word about his... er... talents."

  Sophia paled. Why are you telling me this, Jess, she thought. What she said was, "Good. As long as he's happy."

  "Not even a little bit."

  "Huh?"

  "He's miserable. He just hides it better than you do."

  "What?"

  "Yeah. It's ironic, if you think about it. He can have his pick of girls to take to bed. He just can't have the only one he wants, the one he's still in love with, because she's sequestered in her room feeling sorry for herself."

  "He told you this?"

  "Yeah. He's also furious at you, you have to understand that. He just found out today--from Crash, and then me, what happened with that asshole you dumped him for. He's upset you never talked to him, never told him, never told him that you made a mistake."

  "Shit."

  "Shit is right. Now he's fucking his way through med school--or pre-med--and what's going to happen is one of those girls is going to get her hooks in him. She's going to wear down his resistance, and get him to fall in pseudo-love with her, and then when you finally come to your senses and try to get him back, it may be too late, because we both know that Warren is as loyal as a puppy. So, what are you going to do about it?"