Dance of a Lifetime

by Frank Downey

  Warren went over to open it, and there stood Crash. "Hey, Warren. Can I come in?"

  "I don't know. Jessie's here. I don't know if she would want me to let you in."

  "OK. Then I'll talk to you, at least, right here. I'm sorry I hit you."

  "Apology accepted. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you beforehand that I slept with Jess. It just kind of happened."

  "I know." Crash sighed. "I'd like to talk to her. Actually, all of you together would be fine. Will you ask her? I'll wait right here."

  "OK. Hold on." Warren went back into the apartment. "It's Crash. He'd like to talk to us."

  "Is he here to blow his stack?" Jessie asked.

  "I don't think so. He just apologized for hitting me."

  "OK," Jessie sighed. "Might as well get it over with." Warren went back out and returned with Crash. They sat around the table.

  "Jess, I want another chance," Crash started.

  Jessie sighed. "Jason, I don't think that's a good idea. I'm sorry, but it's run its course. We want different things. Even you can see that."

  "I want you," Crash replied.

  "No, you don't," Jessie replied sadly. "You want the seventeen-year-old me, not the twenty-year-old me. She's gone, Jason. I can't live my life the way I used to."

  "Don't you still love me?" Crash asked.

  "God dammit, this isn't easy," Jessie replied. "No. I'm sorry. I don't. Well, I'll always love you, but I'm not in love with you anymore. I need more, Jason. I really am sorry. I probably hung on too long, actually, hoping for a miracle."

  "I don't believe you."

  "Jason, I'm trying to keep as calm as I can. A relationship has to grow. Ours didn't. My needs changed, and you refused to acknowledge that. In fact, you revolted against it. You haven't treated me well at all for close to a year. You've made me feel abandoned and alone. I went a thousand miles away from everyone I love for you, and you didn't care enough about me to make it work. If you really loved me, you would've given me what I needed."

  "Jess, you were too demanding."

  "Then I was too demanding," Jessie agreed. "You need to find someone that's not so demanding. That's not me, not anymore. Don't you see?"

  "I wish we had never done that fucking swap in the cabin," Jason spat out bitterly.

  "I know you do. But that's the point. I'm so glad we did, that I can't tell you. It opened me up. It made me a better person. It let me know that there was more to life, and love, than what I was settling for. I thought you realized the same things. It took me a while to realize I was wrong."

  "It was just sex!" Jason said.

  "And that's the problem. To you, it's always just been sex. You don't understand the difference between having sex and making love. I didn't used to, either. Now I do."

  "There is no difference!" Crash maintained.

  "This is pointless," Jessie said. "Jason, it's over. I'm sorry, but there's no going back."

  "I can't accept that!"

  "Crash," Sophia interjected, "can I say something that might piss you off?"

  "You might as well," he said with a wry smile.

  "You don't want Jess back. You just don't want to be alone. You two have grown too far apart. I think, deep down, you know that."

  "That's not true." He looked at Jess. "I do love you, you know. I'm just not capable of showing it in the way you'd like me to. If you think that's enough reason to break up something that's been going on for as long as we have, then I guess I can't fight it."

  "Jay, that's not it," Jessie said. "It's not that you weren't capable. It's that you didn't try."

  "I'm willing to try now."

  "It's too late," Jessie said, sadly. "Goodbye, Jason."

  Jason looked around the room. Then he looked sadly at Jessie and said, "Goodbye, Jess. I'm sorry." And then he left.

  "You know, I didn't want to break his heart. I really didn't," Jessie said, tears starting to roll down her cheeks. "I thought he saw what I saw. He acted like it for a year-that he really didn't care what happened to us. Why does he have to start caring now? Damn him."

  "Isn't him caring now enough of a reason to give it another try?" Warren asked.

  "No. It's not. Because it took me far too long to work up the courage to end it, because I was still looking at the illusion of three years ago. I can't put myself through that again. And I don't think he's really willing to change. He'll make a half-hearted effort, and then it will be back to the same old thing." She sniffled. "And, you know what, I wasn't kidding. What he's done the past year did kill my love for him. I'm not in love with him anymore, and I don't see how I could ever get that back. There's too much baggage." She sniffled again. "But, fuck, I really didn't want to break his heart! Fuck."

  Sophie and Warren held Jessie between them as she cried for a good, long time.

  Chapter 119 - The New Threat

  The plane landed in Philadelphia on a Sunday afternoon. That's where Nationals were being held this year. Sophie, Warren, Betsy, and Ellen were there, of course-but Jessie had come along, too. Dan and Kate, and Warren's parents, would be along later in the week.

  Jessie was thrilled they had asked her to come-and amused at one of the reasons. Sophie didn't want to get full and bloated. "And the way you've been draining me, the minute I'm apart from you for a few days, I will. After you go back to Milwaukee, fine, but not when I'm trying to skate!"

  But that wasn't the only reason. Since Jessie had to go back to Milwaukee soon, they wanted her along. They had become very comfortable with Jessie being a complete part of their lives.

  They got their hotel rooms-Ellen had one of her own, where Dan would join her in a few days, and the threesome plus Betsy shared one-then went down to the hotel restaurant for supper. As usual, they ran into some friends who had also arrived early.

  "If it ain't Daddy and Mommy!" Liz Cushman greeted them, plucking Betsy out of Sophia's arms. "And how's my little namesake?" she gurgled.

  "Hi, Liz," Warren said. "You remember Jessie, right?"

  "Of course," she grinned. They ended up at a table with Evan, Shawna, and Liz, happily chatting and eating.

  Afterwards, they invited Liz up to their room, to chat.

  "So, how's Rich?" Warren asked.

  Liz sighed. "I didn't want to tell you this until I saw you in person, but there is no more Rich."

  "Aw, Liz," Warren said. "What happened?"

  "What happened is that Rich doesn't know what he wants. He tells himself he wants a successful, independent woman-but he doesn't. I think, after I won the Olympic gold, he expected me to retire, hang around LA, go to school, and just do the occasional show. He never quite got how important skating is to me, and he didn't like the separations. I started to see it when I was gone on tour last year. He pouted. Then when I started competing again this year, he really pouted. I broke up with him right after the Grand Prix Final. He couldn't come, and got all pissy about it. That's a skater's life, and I'm not ready to give it up yet. I tried to make him understand, but he wouldn't."

  "Shit," said Sophia.

  "Well, Liz, we can commiserate," Jessie said with a strained smile.

  "Weren't you with Warren's best friend, for a long time?"

  "Was. Aren't anymore."

  Liz laughed. "And look at us. We have to stare at The Cuddly Couple over here. It's disgusting." Liz grinned. "Ah, well, Jess. We'll find someone else. There's fish in the sea, and all those cliches." Jess didn't say anything, but had a strange smile on her face. "Wait a minute. You found someone already?" Liz asked.

  "Jess, Liz is completely trustworthy," Sophia told her.

  Jess laughed, and said, "I didn't just find some one, I went in for the two-for-one special."

  "Huh?" Liz said.

  Sophia laughed. "Liz, Jessie is staying with us in this room. Did you happen to notice how many beds there are in this room?" There was only one.

  Liz's jaw dropped. "You're kidding."

  "Nope. I got me a boyfriend and a girlfriend," Jessie gr
inned.

  "You guys take the cake," Liz grinned back. "Is there room for a fourth in that bed? No, I'm just kidding. I'm a one-on-one kind of gal. So, it's funny. Three girls in this room, and we've all slept with Warren." She grinned wider. "And, I must admit, he was better than Rich."

  "A whole lot better than Crash," Jessie agreed.

  "He's way at the top of my rather lengthy list, that's for sure," Sophia laughed.

  "Jesus. You all are going to give me a swelled head."

  "Good. That's what I was hoping for," Jess grinned.

  "Not that head, you sex maniac," Warren said.

  "So," Jess said, "Warren, which one of us is the best?"

  "Oh, no," Warren spat out, "no you don't. You are not getting me into that."

  "Come on, Snugglebear, fess up," Sophie said.

  "Nope. Besides which, it's not a fair question. I've been with Sophie thousands of times. I've been with Jess, what, about twenty by now? I've been with Liz once. It's just not a fair question. Besides which, Sophie was my first-and for a good couple of years, my only. Sophie taught me how to make love to a woman. If either of you two think I'm that good, Sophie gets a lot of the credit."

  "Aw, you're so sweet," Sophie beamed at him.

  The next day was their first practice. They were standing in the corner, chatting with Shawna and Evan.

  "Who's that?" Warren asked, pointing to a couple he didn't recognize.

  "Courtney Rogers and Ryan Killen. Junior National Champions last year. She's 17, he's 20. And she is, apparently, a barracuda," Evan told them.

  "Ah," Sophia said. They chatted a bit, then started skating around the edges of the ice.

  "Oh, look, it's the slut and the shit," Courtney said to her partner.

  "C'mon, Court. They are the National Champions."

  "Not for long. They're overrated and a disgrace," Courtney said. "They're our targets, Rye. Let's go introduce ourselves," she said with a wicked chuckle.

  "Court, I don't think-" but Courtney was already pulling him along. Ryan did what Courtney said-life was easier that way.

  Warren and Sophia were gliding along the boards, when Courtney directed Ryan full-speed right into their path. Warren was too good for that, though-he saw them coming, stopped, and turned, leading Sophia and neatly sidestepping Courtney and Ryan. "Nice try!" Sophia giggled as they skated off.

  "Well, we know what their game is," Warren said.

  "They really think it's going to work with us?" Sophia snorted. "They forget who they're dealing with."

  "Too true, love," Warren agreed. "We don't intimidate easily."

  Meanwhile, Courtney was livid. "Those two assholes! We almost crashed into the boards." Ryan didn't say anything. He knew it was their fault, but you didn't say that to Courtney. Not if you enjoyed breathing. Courtney dragged him right up to where Warren and Sophia had stopped.

  "We're gunning for you," Courtney told them straight out.

  "Take your best shot," Warren grinned.

  "Oh, I plan to. You two are ruining ice dancing."

  "Is this a stylistic debate?" Warren asked. "I haven't seen you skate yet, so I don't know what your style is."

  "Different from yours, but, no, this isn't a stylistic debate," Courtney spat. "I just hate seeing a slut as the National Champion."

  "Hmmm," Sophia grinned. "Slut, huh? Well, you can believe what you want. But I'm not a slut. I love him. We're getting married this summer."

  "That doesn't matter. You're all about sex. You got pregnant, for goodness' sake," Courtney said.

  "Yes, I did. You wanna see our baby? She's beautiful, and a joy," Sophia said calmly. "She's the light of our lives. We're so glad we had her-because, you know, I almost didn't. Because I was too worried what narrow-minded jerks like you might think. Betsy was an accident, but she's the most glorious accident ever."

  "Babies are for married people," Courtney said.

  "Well, in August, she will be," Sophia countered. "You need to be a little less judgmental."

  "Oh, she's going to love the next issue of Maxim," Warren laughed. Sophia laughed in agreement.

  "The magazine?" Ryan spoke up. "What about it?"

  "I'm in it," Sophia grinned. "In fact, I'm on it. And I'm not wearing much."

  "That's disgusting!" Courtney wailed.

  "If you got it, flaunt it," Warren grinned. "Now, if you'll excuse us, we have to go skate."

  "Oh, goody. Our new challengers are narrow-minded moralistic shits," Sophia said to Warren.

  "The exhibition's gonna blow their minds," Warren laughed.

  "Jessie would really blow their minds!"

  The competition was rather anti-climactic. The only other team in their league was Evan and Shawna, and they finished a distant second. Ryan and Courtney finished third. Liz repeated as the Ladies' champion, as did Andrea and Brett in pairs. The men's champion was a youngster named Tom Bellamy.

  The real furor came, as predicted by Warren, with the new exhibition they had worked up. It was to an Aerosmith song called "Pink", a song that was pretty suggestive in the first place. And the program that they had worked up was really suggestive. First of all, Sophia took the title of the song to heart, and dressed in a pink miniskirt and a pink spaghetti-strap low-cut top. She had dangly pink heart earrings, had her hair tied back in a pink bow-she was even wearing pink lip gloss.

  The program started with Warren standing at the far end of the ice. Sophia skated alone for the entire intro, going from the near end down to Warren at the far end. She sauntered down the ice, rolling her hips, snapping her fingers, a sultry look on her face. And the program went on from there to get steamy. There were all sorts clench-moves. There was a lift where Sophia had her arms wrapped around Warren's neck, her legs wrapped around his hips, his hands on her ass, and she lightly humped against him. There was the sequence where Warren clearly had his hand on her breast. "Pink" was about sex-the song and the program. The crowd seemed delighted. The powers-that-be did not. Sophia and Warren loved it.

  After they returned from Nationals, Jessie would have to leave for Milwaukee in less than a week. A couple of days before she was to leave, Crash called her and asked her if she'd meet him for coffee. He just wanted to talk, he said. She accepted.

  "Thanks for coming," he said as she sat down at the booth. "Look, I need to apologize. I've done a lot of thinking over the past few weeks. I really blew this, didn't I?"

  "Yeah, you did," she agreed. "Look, I've kind of glossed over this with Warren and Sophie, because they are still your friends-but what you've put me through the last year, as far as I'm concerned, was verbal abuse."

  "I can't argue with you," Crash admitted. "I couldn't help myself. The needier you got, the more angry I got about it. It was just like a reaction and I couldn't stop it. I really am sorry."

  She smiled at him. "Apology accepted."

  "And I suppose I owe you a thank-you," he smiled back, wryly. "It was a wake-up call. At least you don't hate me. If we had gone any further down that path, you would have."

  "No, I don't hate you," Jessie agreed. "Jay, I still love you. I'm just not in love with you anymore. I don't think, long-term, that we're good for each other."

  "Maybe you're right," he admitted. "It's hard to accept. We were together for a long time."

  "I changed, and you didn't, though, Jay."

  "That's where you're wrong. I changed. Unfortunately, in the worst ways." He sighed. "Now I get to change again."

  "Change again?"

  "Like I said, you dumping me was a wake-up call," he said. "I can't do this again. To you or anybody else."

  "I'm glad to hear it." She smiled at him. "Jay. We can still be friends."

  "I'd like that," he smiled.

  "And you'll find someone else. And when you do, I'll be happy for you, you know."

  "You will, too."

  "I already did," Jessie smiled.

  "What?" Crash laughed. "Half of Warren? Is that really healthy?"

  "Well,
it's not just Warren. Jay, all three of us sleep together. And I don't mean sleep. Though we do that, too."

  Crash almost choked on his coffee. "You... and Sophie?!?!? Jess, you don't have a lesbian bone in your body!"

  "Yeah, that's what I thought, too," she giggled. "I really don't, you know-Sophie's an exception."

  "Now I've heard everything," Crash grinned. "Damn, why couldn't that have happened while we were still together? It would've been fun to watch."

  "You're a pig," Jess laughed.

  "You know it."

  Jessie smiled, then got serious. "Do me a favor, would you? Patch things up with Warren. It wasn't his fault, you know. I practically dragged him to bed. I was even going to do it behind Sophie's back, that's how desperate I was. He loves me, and so does Sophie. It just happened. Don't hold it against him."

  "I'll try not to. I'll write him a letter, that's probably the best way. Clear the decks."

  "He didn't break us up," Jessie stated.

  "I know." Crash looked at her. "You have to go back to Milwaukee with them still here. That's going to be tough." He sighed. "Now I regret ever convincing you to go out there."

  "That was part of the problem."

  "I know." He took a deep breath. "Look. I'm only an hour away. If you need anything, anything at all, you call me. As friends. OK?"

  "OK," she smiled. "Thanks, Jay. That means a lot."

  "I have to go," Jay said. "Thanks again for meeting me. It helped." He stood up.

  "It helped me, too," Jessie smiled. She stood up, and gave Jay a long hug. "Don't be a stranger. You can call me, too, if you need a friend."

  "I'll do that," he said. He kissed her on the cheek, then let her go.

  The figure skating community grumbled under their breaths about the blatant sexuality of "Pink". However, at the beginning of February, the shit really hit the fan.

  That's when the "Sophia Issue" of Maxim came out.

  Sophia and Warren got their copy a little in advance to the general release. They were thrilled, but knew that it was going to cause a firestorm.

  The cover shot was one of the bikini ones-with Sophie leaning over, most of her boobs in full view. They used the from-the-back only-in-skimpy-panties shot, which not only revealed a ton of skin, it revealed her tattoo. Many of the front shots revealed her other tattoo. There were a couple of her bare from the waist up, covering her breasts with her arms. One from the side, with just a sheet covering her breast-and only the front, there was a clear view of the side of her breast. And one wearing a partially see-through mesh shirt, with nothing underneath it. Any shot that went below the waist, she was wearing either skimpy panties or a thong. They were as close as you could get to nude without actually being nude. And, yes, to their surprise, included-though as a small thumbnail on the same page as the interview-was one of the breastfeeding shots.