Dance of a Lifetime

by Frank Downey

  "What is wrong with her?"

  "I’m afraid I might know," Sophie said.

  A couple days later, Sophie invited Jess over again. When she got there, Sophie handed her a bag. "Jess? I want you to go into the bathroom and use this. No arguments."

  Jess looked at her quizzically, then opened the bag. "What?" she hissed. "What makes you think I need this?"

  "Because you’re showing all the signs. Believe me, I know, I’ve been there."

  "Oh, God, I haven’t even wanted to think about this."

  "I know you haven’t, but you have to know."

  Jess sighed, and withdrew into the bathroom. When she returned, tears were running down her face. She held out the object she had been given to Sophie.

  It was a pregnancy test—and it was positive.

  As Sophie tried to calm Jessie down, Warren came home. Sophie, greatly suspecting what was wrong with Jess, had discussed it with Warren.

  "It was positive," Sophie told Warren as he walked in.

  "Oh, God, what am I going to do?" Jessie sobbed. "I’m on birth control! This wasn’t supposed to happen! Shit. I have to tell Ryan."

  Sophie and Warren looked at each other. "Jess," Sophie said softly, "Warren and I have talked about this. I suspected you were pregnant. So we’ve talked about it."

  "Jessie," Warren said gently, "it might not be Ryan’s. It might be mine."

  Jessie’s eyes widened, and her mouth dropped open—and then she realized. "The night before I left Wisconsin."

  "Yes," Warren said.

  "Oh God," Jess wailed, "you mean I’m pregnant and I don’t even know whose it is?"

  "Jess, this gives you an out," Sophie said.

  "An out?"

  "With Ryan, if you want it," Sophie said. "You don’t have to tell him."

  "We can just assume it’s mine," Warren continued. "You know we’ll take care of you, Jess. And I’ll just assume it’s mine and not ask for any kind of proof. It’s up to you."

  "We can handle this any way you want," Sophie added. "You can move in here with us if you want. We can all live together in a happy family—a strange one, to be sure, but what the heck," she giggled. "But, if you want to tell Ryan, that’s your choice, too."

  "You guys would do that?" Jess asked.

  "Of course," Warren said. "We love you, you know that. Though I don’t know how happy you’ll be with us, it is an option, and one we wanted to make sure you knew about."

  "You guys are too much," Jess sighed. "I’ll love you forever. But I think I have to tell Ryan."

  "Of course," Warren said. "What are you going to do?"

  "Well, I’m going to have it, I know that much," Jessie said, "there’s not any question of that. And I’ll have to tell Ryan—tell him everything, including that it might be yours, Warren. Then he’ll have a decision to make. I think I want to know whose it is, though, and we can’t test for that until after it’s born."

  "Keep one thing in mind," Warren told her. "We’re probably in a better position to help you financially than Ryan is."

  "Yeah, and that’s going to be more important considering I haven’t found a job here yet. And now it’s going to be tougher," she sighed. "But if it’s not yours, Warren, you shouldn’t be responsible for it."

  "I will anyway," he smiled.

  "I know. And that means more to me than you could ever imagine. But I know Ryan well enough—if it’s his, he will want to know." She sighed. "Listen, could I stay with you tonight? No sex. But I think I don’t want to sleep by myself."

  "Of course," Sophie told her.

  Warren and Sophie were woken up at 3 AM the next morning by screaming. They popped up in bed, and looked to see Jess, wailing, holding her stomach. They looked down, between her legs, and saw the blood.

  At Oceanview hospital, at 6 AM, they got the official news.

  "She miscarried," her mother told Warren and Sophie.

  "We figured," Sophie told Corinne.

  "I didn’t even know she was pregnant," Corinne said.

  "She didn’t either, until yesterday," Sophie told her. "I suspected, but she was in denial. I forced her to take a pregnancy test. She was on birth control, but obviously it failed."

  "That guy in Wisconsin, right? The skater?" Corinne asked.

  "Well, possibly," Warren said softly. "There’s a chance that it was mine."

  "Oh, God," Corinne hissed. "She was sleeping with both of you?"

  "No," Warren said. "With me, it was a one-time thing, the night after she and Ryan broke up. But the timing was close enough that I could’ve been the father. And, believe me, I’m not proud of that. She turned to us for comfort, and one thing led to another. Though I know that’s no excuse."

  "Damn, Warren, don’t you think I know enough to know that you and Sophie are not the problem, and never were?" Corinne sighed. "You two were good for her. I just don’t think it was enough—so she went for the first jerk that showed an interest. You didn’t break her heart. What would you have done if she’d had the baby and it were yours?"

  "Whatever she wanted," Warren said.

  "Of course, you would have. And Sophie would’ve gone right along with it." Sophie nodded agreement. "This Ryan character is the one that fucked her over."

  "It’s not quite like that," Sophia told her. "Ryan—well, he’s confused. And, quite honestly, I think he would’ve done the right thing if the baby had been his."

  "Well, I guess we’ll never know," Corinne sighed.

  They kept Jess overnight in the hospital. Sophie and Warren were home. Sophie had put Betsy to bed, and went and found Warren, in the kitchen, sitting at the table and staring into space.

  "Hi, Snugglebear. You OK?"

  "I suppose."

  "Worried about Jess?"

  "No. I mean, yes, of course I’m worried about Jess. But that’s not all of it. I mean, there was a chance it was mine, you know?"

  "Oh, damn," she said. She sat down next to him and took his hand in hers. "I’ve been so worried about Jess I didn’t even stop to think how this would affect you."

  "I’ll be OK."

  "I know. But you would’ve loved that baby as much as you love Betsy."

  "Of course I would’ve."

  "And now it’s gone."

  "Yeah. Jess has to deal with the brunt of this, I know that. But, I admit it—I feel a loss."

  "Of course you do."

  "You know, I never planned to have babies with anyone other than you." He smiled slightly. "But I have to admit, I was curious to see what a kid that was half me and half Jessie would turn out like."

  "The smartest she-devil on earth," Sophie laughed, getting a welcome chuckle out of Warren. "Hey, there might be another chance. I’d have no problem with it, not with Jessie. I’ve always said, I’d be willing to make the threesome permanent. And I know Jessie wants kids. If she wants to move in and help with the baby-making, I’d have no problem."

  "I don’t think so," Warren argued. "I think Jess is done with us, in that way. And, you know what? I think she probably should be done with us in that way. The only problem is, she should be with Ryan. And she’s not."

  "Yeah."

  A few days later, Sophie went to visit Jessie at home.

  "Oh, good, maybe you can do something with her," Corinne said. "Sophie, she hasn’t left her bedroom since she came home from the hospital."

  Sophie went upstairs and knocked on Jessie’s door. "Jess, it’s Sophie."

  "Go away."

  Sophie sighed, and opened the door. "Jess, I’m worried about you."

  "Sophie, I know you are, but I want to be alone."

  "Your mom says you’ve been alone for three days."

  "Yeah, and I might as well just stay that way, ‘cause it ain’t gonna change. Let’s face it, Soph, I blew it. I fucked everything up." She sighed. "I knew it, you know. I knew, deep down, that I was pregnant. Hell, I missed a period—and I’m as regular as sunrise. And I knew what the throwing up was. And I just completely went
into denial about it." Her face dropped. "And I didn’t take care of myself. I just went into a shell, didn’t eat, didn’t take care of myself—and look what happened. I lost the baby. And I didn’t even think that it might have been Warren’s. If I had realized…."

  "Oh, Jess," Sophie sighed.

  "And Ryan. I blew that, too. He didn’t want to break up, all he wanted was time to finesse the Courtney thing—and I just went off the wall. I could’ve stayed there. It might have been a stretch financially, but it would’ve only been for the summer, I’d have had no problem finding a roommate to split the rent when school started back up. But I ran—because I couldn’t deal with it."

  "I don’t know, Jess, I might have done the same thing," Sophia told her. "Courtney’s trouble."

  "Yeah, but it was why I did it that bothers me. Ryan’s looking at Courtney as a, you know, business partner. But I wasn’t. I was looking at her as his ex-lover—which means the competition. And I know he doesn’t feel that way about her."

  "I don’t know, Jess, I’ve wondered about his loyalty to her—though I do think it’s mostly fear."

  "It is fear," Jessie agreed, "And I didn’t help."

  "Jess, I still think not putting up with it was reasonable."

  "Yeah. Reasonable," she snorted. "And here I am, alone, miserable, and dealing with a miscarriage. It might have been reasonable, but it wasn’t smart." She looked at Sophia. "I know you’re trying to help, but I really do need to be alone."

  "OK. For now. But I’m not going to let you get away with this forever, Jessie—and neither is Warren. You need to snap out of this."

  Jessie just shrugged. With one more pleading look, Sophie left, more worried than ever.

  Chapter 152 - One Thing Leads To Another

  Three days after Sophie had been to Jessie’s house, Sophie and Warren were surprised by a knock on their door. It was Jessie, looking much better.

  "Hi, can I come in?"

  "Of course," Sophie said. They went into the living room, where they chatted—Jessie playing with Betsy. "You look a lot better," Sophie said.

  "Well, I ate some. I still feel horrible. I’m depressed and I feel guilty. But I’ve been in my room crying for three days. Enough. I need to get a damn life."

  "I think that’s good, though you have reason to be upset," Sophie told her.

  "A lot of reasons to be upset," she sighed.

  "Maybe you should call Ryan," Sophie said.

  "What would be the point? No, I’m just going to have to move on. But I’m not going to lie in bed feeling fucking sorry for myself. There are other fish in the sea, right?"

  "That’s the spirit," Sophie laughed.

  A few days after that, they had gone over to Sophie’s mother’s house for a visit. They walked in to yelling and screaming. They went into the kitchen to see Ellen with her head in her hands.

  "Hey, Mom, what’s wrong?" Sophie asked.

  "Oh, hi, kids."

  "Gramma!" Betsy chirped.

  "Oh, come here sweetie, you always make Gramma feel better," Ellen smiled. Betsy climbed into her lap. "It’s your brother," Ellen said to Sophie. "He’s driving me absolutely up the wall."

  "Eric? He’s always been a good kid," Sophie said. Eric was 16, and was finishing up his sophomore year in high school.

  "Not anymore," Ellen said. "He’s contrary, obstinate, disrespectful. He argues about everything. He’s sullen, his grades are dropping."

  "Sounds like hormones to me," Warren laughed.

  "Oh, no doubt," Ellen agreed with a grin. "But he’s not dating. He’s picky, I think. I never see any girls around here. I know Charlie’s talked with him about it, and Charlie told me that Eric said that the girls he likes aren’t interested, and the girls that are interested he doesn’t want anything to do with."

  "He’s a good-looking kid," Warren said.

  "Yeah, but that sullen act only goes so far," Ellen pointed out.

  "With some girls, it goes a long way," Sophie snorted. "Believe me, I know."

  "Yes, true, but I don’t think Eric is attracted to girls like that," Ellen said.

  "Well, I don’t know if he’s really found one he’s attracted to, then," Warren pointed out. "If he was really attracted to someone, I think the sullen bit would go away."

  "Hmmmm, that’s a good point," Ellen said. "Well, I hope he finds one soon because he’s driving me crazy!"

  When Warren and Sophie got to practice a few days later, June pulled them aside. "Guys, I need to ask you a favor. And, knowing you two, it’s a huge favor, but I don’t know where else to turn."

  "What’s up?" Sophie asked.

  "Warren, would you be willing to skate with someone else for a week or two?"

  "Why?" Warren asked.

  "I have a young dancer here, Amy Lowell. She’s 16. Two years ago, she finished second at Junior Nationals. Right after, her partner up and quit. So, last summer, she came here for a tryout with Walt Genzinger. I paired them up."

  "And Walt made her want to cry, repeatedly," Sophie guessed. They had known Walt when they were here the year Sophie had the baby—they hadn’t much liked him.

  "Exactly," June sighed. "I’ve kicked Walt out of the rink, by the way. I thought Amy—who’s as sweet as pie, incidentally—would tame him. I was wrong. Anyhow, Amy’s without a partner again. She’s good, doesn’t want to quit, and doesn’t want to go traipsing around the country looking for another partner. Her parents pulled up stakes and moved here when she came to skate with Walt. I need to find her a partner.

  "What I’ve been thinking, though, is that it would be easier to find her a partner if I could get her to pass the Senior test. She’s ready, and she’s passed the Moves In The Field part, but I need a senior partner so she can pass the Free Dance part. That’s what I need you for, Warren."

  "Ah, you want me to skate her through her test?"

  "Yes. I dug out the old Glenn Miller program and taught her most of it, since I was here for that one. It was either that or Riverdance, and I think Riverdance is too tough for her. Even the Glenn Miller, we’ll have to cut down some—but she can handle enough of it to pass the test."

  "What do you think, Pookie?" Warren asked Sophie.

  "I think we owe June a lot, and should help her."

  "Ah, hell with that," June said.

  "Well, she’s right, we do," Warren said, smiling. "Besides which, helping a talented young skater would be cool. OK, I’ll do it."

  Amy was a cute, petite blonde. And she was plainly over the moon about the developments. "You mean I’m going to get to skate with Warren Kelleher????"

  "Yes, but don’t get used to it," Sophie teased her.

  "Oh! I mean, I’d never!"

  "Relax, Amy, I’m just teasing," Sophie said, grinning.

  "Oh," Amy said, visibly relieved. "OK. Well, I hope I can keep up with you!" she said to Warren.

  "Don’t worry about that," Sophie told her, "he’s the best partner in the world—he’ll lead you through it."

  "Let’s not get carried away," Warren laughed. "I’m the best partner in the world skating with you, that’s an entirely different thing." He looked at Amy. "But you’ll be fine."

  "Great, let’s run through it," June said.

  After a week, things had gone amazingly well. Amy’s test was in another week, and all concerned thought she’d be well ready for it.

  Warren was holding up well—a good thing, considering he and Sophie were still spending time together on the ice every day, working on new programs.

  "How’s the knee, Snugglebear?" Sophie asked him that Friday at the end of the first week.

  "Holding up fine. I get a minor twinge every so often, but I’m fine. So, how are you doing, watching me skate with another girl?"

  "Believe it or not, I’m enjoying it," Sophie said. "Surprise, surprise. You’re fun to watch. And Amy really is a dear. She’s so sweet and appreciative, and she’s in complete hero-worship every time she skates with you, which is cute."


  Warren laughed. "At least she’s not standing around mooning. She works hard."

  "Yeah, and she’s a lot of fun. Bubbly, happy, all that good stuff. I like her," Sophie said.

  "I do too," Warren agreed. "I hope June can find her a partner after she passes Seniors, she’s got talent."

  "I was thinking about that. Maybe we should give Evan a call, let him know she’s available."

  "There’s two problems with that," Warren said. "First is distance. She’s resistant to leaving the Boston area, after her parents moved heaven and earth to move here in the first place; and Evan won’t want to leave Detroit. The second problem is temperament. You and I both know that Evan is a pussycat underneath—but, on the ice, he’s all business and tends to be a taskmaster. Shawna dealt with it fine, because she’s no shrinking violet. However, if we teamed him up with Amy, I think Amy would be having flashbacks to the way Walt treated her. She’d be wrong, because Evan’s not Walt, not even close—but I think she needs a lighter touch. I’ve been handling her with kid gloves all week, and she responds to that. Evan might put her off."

  "Hmm, you’ve got a point. Well, after she takes the Senior test, I’ll at least mention it to him—including all the reservations that you just said. If he knows that from the start—well, it can’t hurt to let him know she’s available."

  "True."

  That Saturday, Sophie left the house before Warren did, and dropped Betsy off with Ellen. Then, she did Ellen a favor.

  "Hey," she said to her brother Eric. "Get your ass dressed. We’re going out for breakfast."

  "Uh, why?" Eric grunted.

  "Because you’re my little brother and I never see you! Now move it!"

  "Okay, okay," Eric chuckled.

  They went out to the pancake house. They settled in and ordered. While they were waiting for their food, Sophie talked to him. "Mom says you’ve been a bear lately."

  Eric sighed. "Mom is a big huge pain in my ass."

  "Well, of course she is, she’s your mother," Sophie giggled. "I’m not hear to take Mom’s side—I’m here to find out what’s wrong. She says you’re sullen and surly and miserable. That’s not like you."