Radiant

by Christina Daley

  "Mom!" Mary scrambled to her feet, waking Phos as well. They both stood facing her. It was too late for him to translate and Mom not see him do it. How could Mary have been so stupid to let this happen?

  Mary gulped. "It's not what you think."

  "Really?" Mom said. "Then what is it?"

  Mary didn't have a good answer.

  "Ms. Phan?" Phos said gently. "I realize that this—"

  "Shut it, Carter," Mom snapped. "In fact, get out of here."

  "Yes, ma'am." Phos gave one sorrowful look at Mary before leaving by the stairs.

  Mom looked back at Mary. "I'm still waiting for an answer."

  And Mary still didn't have one. "He came over and—"

  "Really, Commander Obvious?" Mom said.

  "But we didn't do anything!" Mary tried.

  Mom narrowed her eyes. "I gave you both a couple of simple rules. And you couldn't even keep them."

  Mary looked down. "I thought as long as he wasn't in the apartment—"

  "This isn't a public place," Mom said.

  Mary was quiet.

  Mom sat down at the patio set, her arms still crossed. "Well, let's have it. How far have you two gone? All the way? Are you using protection?"

  Mary rolled her eyes. "I told you, we didn't do any—"

  "I'm not talking about just now," Mom said firmly.

  "Will you let me finish?" Mary cried.

  Mom raised an eyebrow. "Fine. Finish."

  Mary tried to gather her thoughts again. "He's been here a couple times. Never in the apartment. Just up here. I mean, yeah, it's not public but it's not super private either. Anyway, last night he came over. I hadn't seen him in a while, so I asked if he could stay for a bit and we fell asleep. That's it. That's all."

  "Is that really all?" Mom asked.

  Mary looked her dead in the eyes. "Yes."

  Mom said nothing. Finally, she nodded. "All right. If you say that's all, then that's all."

  Mary sighed in relief.

  "But after school today," Mom said, "you're going to the doctor to get a prescription for the pill."

  "What?" Mary cried. "I told you nothing happened!"

  "Maybe this time," Mom said. "But what about next time? Or the time after that? At least this way, you won't get pregnant."

  "That's not going to happen." Mary wished she could tell Mom the truth. Phos could barely kiss her without burning her. So, naturally they wouldn't do anything else.

  "You're right, because you're either going on the pill or you're going to stop seeing him," Mom said. "Make your choice."

  ***

  Mary secretly hoped a meteor the size of Canada would fall onto her morning bus to school. But it didn't.

  Phos met her at the stop. "Good morning," he said quietly.

  She didn't answer. Silently, they crossed the street to the school. The first bell wouldn't ring for a few minutes, so they stole away to a quiet stairwell.

  "What did your mother say?" he asked.

  Mary took a deep breath. "I can't see you anymore." She then explained what Mom had said. He listened without interrupting her.

  "But it doesn't mean we can't see each other at all," he said. "What is this 'pill' option?"

  She shook her head. "Phos, I'm not taking the pill. I don't want to." She took another deep breath. "And I've really screwed up things with my mom. I don't want her to trust me less than she does now."

  She hadn't noticed tears were falling from her eyes before he wiped them away for her. "So," he said, "this is the part of love that hurts."

  "I'm so sorry, Phos," she said.

  He shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. Perhaps…perhaps it's better this way."

  She didn't say anything. Because she couldn't agree.

  "Take care, Mary." He turned and walked down the hall without her.

  The rest of the day, Mary and Phos avoided one another. And the day after. And the one after that.

  It. Was. Torture.

  Physics was horrible, since he started sitting in the back again. Phos skipped more and more school. He was probably doing it to keep the radiant judges away from Mary, but they, oddly enough, didn't seem like such a big deal to her. It made it a little easier for Mary when she didn't see him. But that didn't make her miss him any less.

  Her grades started tanking. For the first time in her whole school life, Mary got an F. It was only on a quiz, but it didn't help with the other low grades popping up on her report cards. Her art started taking on a darker tone, too. She did a painting of the Trung sisters, the warrior queens of feudal Vietnam, with lots of blue shades. She understood why Picasso favored those colors during his Blue Period.

  "It's your turn, Mary," Ba said.

  "Huh?" she asked.

  "Wake up there!" George snapped. "Cain't you see we still gotta a game goin'?"

  Mary looked at the cards in her hand. Gin. She was playing with Julia, Ba, and George while they were waiting for Mom to show up with the bánh cuốn.

  "Oh. Sorry." Mary took a card from the top of the deck and put an ace in the discard pile.

  Julia snatched it up. "Hah! Gin!"

  "Dadgummit!" George cursed. "I was jiss about to win. You sure you ain't cheatin', woman?"

  "You callin' me a cheater, George?" Julia asked, her eyes narrow.

  "Yeah," he said.

  As they started to argue, Emma, who was sitting at the same table, put her Bible down. "What's the matter, Baby Girl? You've been awful quiet lately."

  Mary shook her head. "It's…nothing."

  "By the way, how's Carter?" Emma asked. "He hasn't been around lately."

  It wasn't Phos, but hearing his name by association was like hammering a steel spike straight through Mary's chest. She fought to compose her voice. "He's fine. I think. We broke up."

  Emma gasped. "Oh! I'm so sorry, Mary. I thought he was such a sweet young man. Oh, bless your heart."

  "It's all right, Emma," Mary lied.

  "Well, I say good riddance," George chimed in, breaking his argument with Julia. "The boy was too polite! And skinny. A man's gotta have some meat on him. Did I e'er tell y'all that my sweet Betty, God rest her soul—"

  "Amen," Emma added.

  "—was engaged to another man when I met her?"

  "Yes," they said in unison.

  "Boy had a spine made of cheese!" he continued anyway. "Like the gov'ment kind we poor folk used to eat. Scared hisself silly by his own shadow. Good thing Betty saw what a real man was when I came along."

  "A real stupid man," Julia said. "You said you sabotaged that boy at a dinner with her parents."

  "No, I din't!" he snapped. "Besides, how was I s'pposed to know he was allergic to onions?"

  They started arguing again, so Ba stood. "I want some tea. Will you come and get some with me, Mary?"

  Mary didn't feel like drinking tea, but she followed her grandmother into the kitchen anyway. As they waited for the cook on duty to get the water and other things for them, Ba asked, "Have you talked to Carter at all?"

  Mary shook her head.

  "Not even at school?"

  Mary shook her head again.

  Ba took her face in her hands. "Con, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

  Mary tried to say nothing was wrong. Instead, a few tears dripped down her face.

  Ba wrapped her arms around her and let her cry on her shoulder. "There, there. That's it. Just let it go."

  Mary balled. She hadn't had a good cry about any of it, not even at home and in her room. "It hurts being away from him," she sobbed.

  Ba chuckled. "It's because you're in love."

  Mary grabbed some napkins and wiped the snot pouring from her nose. "I don't like it. I don't like how things can be great one day and crap the next."

  "But that's life, Con," Ba said. "It isn't stable. It's full of changes. But you learn and grow. You don't sit still. Otherwise, everything will pass you by."

  They sat down at a table. "When I married your grandfather, I knew that
one day we would be separated again. If not by the war, then by something else. One day, we were going to grow old and one of us would pass on and leave the other for a little while. But I still married him. We were together for twenty-six years before he was gone. I wouldn't trade those twenty-six years with him for an immortal life without him. That's something you have to understand, Mary. We don't live for sixty, eighty, or even a hundred years. We live for the few precious moments that happen in those sixty, eighty, or a hundred years. If not, then we're just taking up space and wasting time until we die."

  Mary didn't say anything, pondering her words as she wiped her eyes. A few minutes later, Mom came with the bánh cuốn, and everyone gathered in the dining room to eat.

  After dinner, they all played board games before Mary and Mom said goodnight to Ba and left. They boarded the bus in silence and sat across the aisle from each other.

  "So, did you tell Ba what a horrible monster I am for not letting you see Carter?" Mom asked.

  Mary didn't look at her. "I just told her we broke up. I didn't say why."

  Quiet.

  "I stopped by Anna's to talk with Ben," Mom said finally.

  Now Mary looked at her. "What for?"

  "I wanted to ask him about renting studio space for you," Mom said.

  "I thought there wasn't money for that," Mary said.

  "I got a raise at work," Mom said. "He told me he's actually closing his shop for a few weeks while he's in Dubai working on some installations for Mr. Maxwell."

  "He decided to do it?" Mary asked.

  "Apparently so," Mom said. "But he's still going to leave the workshop open. One of his friends, a lady named Hannah, is there regularly working on things for a couple hotels in the city. He said she has a key and knows how to set the alarm and lock up. And she can show you how to use the tools and stuff. I put some money down for the space and on account for your materials. And I signed a liability form, so don't saw your hand off because we won't be able to sue him."

  Normally, Mary would roll her eyes and laugh. Instead, she asked, "Why are you doing this?"

  Mom shrugged.

  Mary looked out the window again. "Thanks."

  "You're welcome."

  They said nothing until the bus dropped them off near their apartment. When they got inside, Mom sat at the table to go through the mail. Mary headed for her room, but she stopped at the door. "Mom?"

  "Yes?"

  "I don't think you're a monster."

  Mom tossed an advertisement for air duct cleaning into the recycling bin. "Good to know."

  Mary started to go into her room again but stopped once more. "I love him."

  "I'm sure you do," Mom said.

  "No, I don't think you understand," Mary said. "You know I don't throw that word around. I love him."

  Mom looked up at her.

  "But not as much as I love you," Mary said. "That's why I'm not seeing him."

  Mom said nothing.

  Mary came and kissed her on her cheek. "Good night." Then she went into her room and closed the door.

  Back to Table of Contents

  - 27 -

  Shot

  Mary started working on her planet mobile a few days later. She made about a dozen sketches before she settled on a design she liked. Before he left for Dubai, Ben introduced her to Hannah and gave her a quick lesson on how the shop worked. Hannah was a young woman with short brown hair and hipster glasses. She was nice and helpful, but Mary had to keep her distance because the cigarettes she smoked made her smell like she was burning.

  Hannah was working on four huge oil paintings that she had set out side by side. Each canvas stood over six feet tall.

  Mary stared at the cacophony of color on the massive canvases. "This is so cool! Are these going in the lobby of the hotel?"

  "One of the hallways on the way to the restaurant," Hannah explained.

  "I want to do a huge painting now," Mary said.

  Hannah laughed. "If you do, you'll want to frame your own canvas. It's a lot cheaper to do it yourself."

  "I've done little ones in Art class," Mary said. "But not a big one before. Would you show me some time?"

  "Sure," Hannah said. She put down her brush and wiped her hands on her apron. "I'm going outside for a bit. You'll be okay for a few minutes?"

  Mary nodded. "Yeah. I'm just cutting more pipe. I'll be fine."

  "Okay. Holler if you need anything." Hannah grabbed her cigarettes and a bottle of mace from her purse before stepping into the back alley.

  Mary went back to the band saw, where a long metal pipe waited for her. She had used a pen to mark out where she wanted to cut it to make the arms of the mobile. She put on some safety goggles and hit the "On" switch. The saw screamed to life.

  Zzeeeerrrrrrrr!

  When she was finished making the cuts, Mary switched off the saw and pulled off her goggles. She examined the pipe pieces and found some rough edges at the ends. Not wanting to cut herself on them and give her tetanus, she went into the tool cage and grabbed a large metal filer.

  When she came out of the cage, she saw Phos standing alone in the middle of the room.

  "Hi," he said.

  "Hi," she answered. "What are you doing here?"

  "Seeing you."

  She looked down at the heavy filer in her hands. "You're not supposed to."

  "I know," he said.

  She said nothing.

  "I've experienced a new human emotion," he said. "Hate."

  She remained silent.

  "I hate being away from you," he said.

  "I'm sorry," she said. "I can't do anything about that."

  "I know," he said again.

  Mary swallowed. She didn't want to cry, but she felt the tears coming. "You should go."

  He nodded. "Okay. Good night, Mar—"

  Crash!

  They looked up.

  "What was that?" Phos asked.

  Mary shook her head. "I don't know, but it came from the store."

  They went towards the front of the building. From the dim streetlights outside, Mary could see that the front door was slightly ajar. "Hannah?" Mary asked. She switched on the lights.

  Behind the register stood a man she didn't recognize. The empty till was pulled out all the way and little mint tins from the rack next to the register were scattered on the tile floor.

  "Who are you?" Mary demanded.

  The man looked at her like a deer in headlights.

  Mary gasped. "You're robbing the store! Get out of here! HANNAH!"

  "Shut up!" the man cried.

  "HANNAH!" Mary screamed.

  The intruder pulled out a gun and pointed it at them with a shaky hand. "I said shut up!"

  Phos pulled Mary behind him. "Sir, please. There is no need for violence."

  "Where's the money kept?" the man demanded.

  "I don't think there's any here," Phos said calmly. "But if it's money you want, I can give you some."

  "What are you doing?" Mary hissed.

  "Mary, please," he whispered. He looked back at the man. "Is it all right if I get my wallet?"

  The gun was getting shakier, but the man nodded. "All right. But no funny business, got it?"

  "I'll turn around, so you can see my hands." Carefully, Phos turned and reached for his wallet in his back pocket. He turned again and held it up.

  "Throw it here," the man ordered.

  Phos tossed the wallet over to the base of the counter. Still training the gun on them, the intruder slinked over and picked up the wallet.

  "You stay there," he said. "Don't follow me."

  "Of course," Phos said.

  The man began backing towards the door. Mary looked down. His left foot was headed for the mint tins.

  "Watch out!" she cried.

  He stepped on the tins, and they slipped out from under him.

  Bang!

  Mary gasped.

  Phos translated and was on the man in an instant. He grabbed the hand hol
ding the gun, and Phos' hands ignited.

  "AAAAARRRRR!" the intruder shrieked as his skin sizzled and crackled from the heat. He dropped the gun, crying and cradling his scorched hand.

  Phos kicked the gun aside. Then he turned to Mary. His eyes became as wide as plates.

  Mary was still standing in the same place. She followed his gaze and saw a wet, red patch forming on the front of her shirt.

  The filer in her hand suddenly felt too heavy. It slipped from her fingers and struck the floor with a loud clang! Then her legs gave out.

  "Mary!" Phos caught her before she hit the ground.

  Mary looked down and saw blood pooling on the floor. "Is that mine?" were the words that came from her mouth.

  Phos tore her shirt, revealing the hole where the bullet had gone in. He placed one hand over it. "Hold still. This will hurt."

  Before she could ask what he was about to do, searing pain gripped her whole body. Mary screamed.

  "That's it!" Phos said. "That's all. I'm done. It's all right. I'll translate you to the hospital now."

  "What on earth is going on in—?" Hannah said as she came from the back of the shop. "Holy crap! Who are you? What happened—OMIGOSH MARY!"

  Phos cursed under his breath. He couldn't translate without being seen now with Hannah there. "Please call the police and an ambulance."

  Hannah didn't move for a moment, still too shocked as she looked from him and Mary to the intruder curled up by the door.

  "Now!" Phos shouted.

  Hannah jolted back to life. "O-okay!" She ran to the phone on the wall.

  "Phos?" Mary asked.

  He looked down at her. "Yes, I'm here."

  A tear raced down the side of her face. "I'm scared."

  He held her tighter. "I know, but you'll be all right."

  "How do you know?" she asked.

  He said nothing for a moment. Then, he kissed her forehead. "Because I promise you will be."

  Back to Table of Contents

  - 28 -

  ICU Again

  Mary's memory was fuzzy. She recalled an ambulance ride. Phos was also there. The paramedics almost didn't let him go with her, but when he told them her name and how to get a hold of her mother, they let him.

  Mary also remembered some nurses and a surgeon. They were talking quickly and she couldn't understand what they were saying. Then, one of the nurses said, "We're going to give you something to help you sleep, okay Mary?" And everything went dark after that.