Addicted to Love

by Deborah Cooke

  “You made this?” he asked, not hiding how impressed he was.

  She nodded. “It’s kind of a hobby.”

  “It’s amazing.” Kyle returned the book box to Amy who was apparently determined to let every person in attendance experience it themselves. She went to Grandma Trixie next, who was still sitting with Alfred.

  “I stopped making them for a while, because they take so much time, but then I had a special order to fill.”

  “Ty asked for this one,” Kyle guessed.

  Lauren nodded again. “And now, I can’t stop.” It didn’t look as if it bothered her. In fact, she looked happier than he’d ever seen her.

  “Spare me a dance?” he asked, his tone teasing.

  “I’d like that,” she said with a quiet heat that he liked a lot.

  Kyle offered his hand.

  Lauren put her hand in his.

  They turned toward the dance floor just as the music changed to a slow dance. Kyle couldn’t have planned it better himself. He pulled Lauren into his arms, acknowledged how very right she felt in his embrace, then spun her onto the floor. “Nice wedding,” he said and she pulled back a bit to laugh at him.

  “Don’t you dare make small talk.”

  “Why not? Isn’t that what you do at these things?”

  “Strangers and acquaintances do,” she admitted. “Not friends.”

  “Then what should we talk about?”

  “The roses. They were wonderful. The scent was divine!”

  Kyle took a deep breath of her perfume. “This is better. It’s new, isn’t it?”

  Lauren’s eyes danced. “New to me. Chanel No. 5 is old news to the rest of the world.”

  “I like it.”

  “Good.” Her eyes sparkled. “Do not try to fix me up.”

  “Maybe I’ll do better at it than you did.”

  She laughed. “Someone specific in mind?”

  “Absolutely. Statistically, I have to be able to do better than your aunt Maureen.”

  “She hasn’t even tried to fix me up yet. Although I did dance with Ty’s friend Red. He’s very nice.”

  “Nice,” Kyle echoed. “Is that what you’re looking for?”

  She smiled at him. “Disappointed because that would put you out of the running?”

  It was an encouraging comment. “I didn’t know I was in the running.”

  “I kind of missed you.”

  He held her gaze. “I definitely missed you.”

  “Is it true about your dry spell?”

  “All true. Pathetic, tragic, but true.”

  She laughed again. “I don’t believe it.”

  “You should. Ask Damon. He’s been giving me a hard time about losing my touch.”

  “Uh huh. I doubt that’s the case.” Her eyes glowed as she watched him.

  “The razzing or losing my touch?”

  “Door number two.”

  “Well, I have a theory about that.”

  “Do you?”

  He ensured his expression was solemn, liking how she was almost laughing. “Maybe sex is like a wine tasting.”

  “I’m not sure where you’re going with this. I didn’t think you often drank wine.”

  “Just listen. It’s a theory and I think it’s a good one.”

  “Of course you do. It’s your theory.”

  Kyle cleared his throat pointedly and she pressed her lips together, her eyes twinkling. “When you have a wine tasting, there’s a progression. You go from tart to sweet, and you can’t go back. Each increment of sweetness adjusts your expectations, so you can only drink that wine or a sweeter one.”

  “Okay.”

  “And eventually, you get to the sweetest wine of all. There’s nowhere to go after that. That wine spoils you for all others.”

  Lauren smiled. “This is going to be a really crappy come-on if I wasn’t the last woman you were with.”

  “But you were.”

  “Really?” She blushed a little, looking so pleased that he grinned back at her.

  “Scouts’ honor.”

  “You were not a boy scout.”

  “No, but I can still make a promise and keep it.”

  She sobered then, her gaze locking with his. “I know,” she whispered. Their gazes held in that electric way and he knew that was never going to change. He was never going to diminish to this woman’s effect on him. She was the siren who could tempt him into deep waters, the one who was a thousand women rolled into one, the one who held him completely in her thrall and would do so forever.

  Because he loved her.

  It was so elegant and so unassailably true.

  Lauren leaned close as the song ended and touched her lips to his throat. “I want you,” she whispered. Kyle closed his eyes, savoring the heat that surged through him from her kiss.

  One more time, he couldn’t deny her anything she asked of him. He was getting used to that, though.

  “I thought we were friends without benefits,” he managed to say.

  “I want my benefits.”

  He pulled back to look at her. “Me, too. But I didn’t book a room tonight.”

  “Me, neither.” Lauren stepped back, still holding his hand, purpose in her eyes. “Let’s go to my place.”

  She didn’t have to ask him twice.

  * * *

  The cab ride downtown was mercifully quick, despite the distance, as there was virtually no traffic at the late hour. It was still too damn long. They held hands the whole way and Lauren was sure she could hear Kyle’s heart pounding just as hard as her own. Kyle paid the fare as Lauren hurried to the door of her building, her keys already in her hand. Mr. Bernard was apparently off for the evening as the lobby was empty.

  As soon as the elevator doors closed, Lauren backed Kyle into the wall and kissed him. He caught her head in his hands and lifted her to her toes, slanting his mouth over hers possessively and kissing her so deeply that she felt dizzy. She was burning for him, wanting him inside her and needing the weight of his hands upon her.

  “That neck,” he whispered hoarsely, then speared his fingers through her hair and rained kisses on her nape, her earlobe, her throat. They scrambled down the corridor to her apartment, still kissing, still entangled, but her sense of urgency meant she couldn’t fit the key into the lock.

  Kyle swore and tugged the keys out of her hands. He unlocked the door, then picked her up, casting her over his shoulder. She squealed a little and he chuckled as he stepped inside and closed the door behind them. Lauren reached down and turned the deadbolt, then kicked off her shoes. She threw her purse on the couch.

  “Go right,” she said but he must have already spotted the bed. He was heading for it before she spoke.

  He cast her across it and she reached for the light. The blinds were already closed and the lamp cast a romantic light over the room. Kyle didn’t even look at the room. His gaze was fixed on her as he shed his jacket and pulled off his tie. The studs fell out of his shirt as he peeled it off but he didn’t look for them. He had his shoes, socks and trousers off in record time, all of them chucked on the floor, then he dove onto the bed. Lauren had wriggled out of her dress and thrown it over a chair and was sliding off her stockings. Kyle ran his hands over her and she purred like a kitten beneath his caress.

  “Come here, temptress,” he growled, then kissed her again, pinning her to the mattress. Lauren surrendered, rolling her hips so that her stomach rubbed against his erection. He was huge and hard, and she loved the evidence that his desire matched her own. Kyle unfastened her bra and cradled her breasts in his hands, then bent to take each nipple in his mouth and tease it to a point. The feel of his teeth gliding over the tender flesh was exquisite, but she wanted more. Kyle pulled down her panties with a possessive growl, then slid down the length of her and nuzzled her belly.

  “This,” he whispered against her skin. “This is the best feast there is.”

  And then his mouth closed over her, both gentle and persuasive, and Laur
en gave a little cry of pleasure. He held her thighs open and teased her, driving her to the brink—although she was already almost there. She rolled her hips and whispered his name, needing him to know how much she wanted him, then dug her nails into his shoulders. “Now,” she whispered.

  “It’s too fast,” he protested.

  “Now!” she insisted, and rolled him to his back. She straddled him and took him inside her with such speed that they were both left gasping. Then she smiled down at him, their hands locked together, and he slowly smiled back. He lifted his hips and she gasped with pleasure.

  “Siren,” he charged, his voice husky. “You cut your hair to drive me crazy.”

  “I cut my hair because I wanted to.”

  “So you just incidentally destroyed my sanity,” he said, not looking too troubled about it.

  In fact, he looked pretty satisfied, if a little disheveled. Lauren bent and kissed him slowly, liking how his arms closed around her. His embrace was both protective and powerful. “If this is what you’re like when you’ve gone crazy, I like it a lot,” she whispered against his mouth.

  “Me, too. Drive me crazy any time you want. I’m all yours.”

  There was a challenge in his blue eyes, a challenge Lauren was going to take. She moved and watched him catch his breath as he was drawn more deeply inside her. “We’ve done it twice in one night before.”

  “How the lady forgets. Three times,” he murmured.

  “What about a new record?” she asked and his gaze brightened. “How about four?”

  He smiled slowly. “Four times, four orgasms each. Bonus for whoever gives extra orgasms.”

  “And what’s the bonus?”

  He gave a sigh of exasperation. “And she has to ask. What have I done wrong?”

  Lauren laughed and Kyle took advantage of that to roll her to her back. He was braced atop her, filling her and crushing her just a little. She squirmed, knowing it would make him moan, and when he did, she smiled with pleasure. He caught her neck in his hand, then kissed her roughly, exciting her with his need.

  “Give me everything,” he whispered, his gaze boring into hers. “Don’t hold back one thing tonight.”

  “Not you, either,” she whispered. “I want it all.”

  His eyes flashed, his lips closed over hers, and then neither of them said anything for a long time.

  * * *

  Kyle was awake early, as usual. Lauren was sleeping and he eased out of the bed carefully, making sure he didn’t disturb her. After their night of lovemaking, she deserved her rest. She sighed and murmured something, then moved into the hollow made by his body after he left.

  He stood there, naked, watching her. The night before, he’d experienced that intimacy Lauren had mentioned, the kind that came with familiarity. He knew what she liked best, what would prolong her pleasure, what would make her moan. More than that, he’d felt a new sense of having come home. It wasn’t boring. It was thrilling and Kyle wanted to spend the rest of his life deepening that intimacy with Lauren.

  She was his every fantasy come to life.

  Somehow, he had to convince her of that.

  Kyle had to hope he was already making progress. He left her to sleep as he found his shorts and had a drink of water. It was just dawn and the apartment was filled with morning light. The window must have faced east, because there was a ray of pink sunlight on the far wall. He considered the furnishings, an eclectic mix of teak and vintage prints, and liked his sense that the apartment had been furnished over time. There was something settling about it.

  Easy but unexpected. Welcoming but not judgmental.

  Just like Lauren.

  It felt like home.

  Well, home is where the heart is, and Kyle’s heart had been in Lauren’s keeping for a long time. He took his glass of water and went to her desk, drawn by the signs of her activity. He wasn’t snooping. He didn’t touch a thing, just looked. There was a draft separation agreement from a lawyer, which showed that Mark’s address was in Chicago, just as she’d said. The note from the lawyer, cast to one side, included the comment that the division of assets would be simple since there were no children.

  Kyle wondered if that had bothered Lauren.

  He thought about the sprouts and knew that thanks to her encouragement, he could think about the possibility of having children himself. With Lauren’s hand in his, he believed he could do it and not mess them up as much as he’d feared.

  He wanted to make all her dreams come true.

  He turned his attention to her work in progress, another book box apparently. This one was covered with white lace, with a red spine and corners. The End in the Beginning it was called, according to the title on the spine. The author was Lauren McKay. Kyle opened it with a fingertip, curious, just so he could peek inside. He found that the interior was filled with red roses. They were cut short, arranged in a layer so he was looking down into the blooms. They appeared to be real, which was impossible or at least unlikely, and he touched one gently to discover that it was dried.

  One had been crushed and he wondered if that was deliberate.

  He opened the lid all the way and the layer of roses lifted up and back, drawn by a string on the lid. The lid was lined with a wedding invitation overlaid with a photograph of the wedding party. Kyle leaned closer, easily identifying slightly younger versions of people he’d seen again the day before. There was Tyler, and his parents. Kyle had met them shortly after meeting Ty at college. There was Grandma Trixie, and Ty’s other three sisters, none of whom had been married on this particular day. In the middle was Lauren, dressed in yards of white lace, with Mark beside her. Kyle didn’t recognize the groomsmen other than Ty, but it didn’t matter.

  What was arresting was the expressions of the newly married pair. Mark was looking at the camera, his face alight with triumph and pride. He thought he’d won, and maybe he had with Lauren by his side. Kyle recalled Lauren’s assertion that everything had been about appearances with Mark. Lauren, however, was looking at her new husband, her expression assessing. Kyle saw her doubt. Grandma Trixie was watching Lauren, her expression tinged with concern.

  This photo had probably been a cast-off, one that seemed to have been taken when people weren’t ready. But Kyle believed Lauren had chosen it for her memory box as being indicative of the truth she had ignored.

  There were loose rose petals in the bottom of the box, not the crushed ones from the broken flower because it would have just shattered. These were silk petals from another flower, one that Lauren had probably cut apart. Her wedding rings were secured in the corner at the bottom of the box. They weren’t nestled in velvet and they weren’t on her hand any more. They were safe but out of sight. Maybe out of mind.

  As if her heartbreak had been destined to be.

  The little box, even incomplete, eloquently expressed her pain and her loss, her disappointment in a way that words couldn’t. Kyle closed it again, his chest tight.

  He wasn’t going to be the next in that line.

  That was when he noticed another book box on the shelf. He might have mistaken it for an actual book, but the title snagged his attention.

  A Joy Forever it was called, also by Lauren McKay.

  It was another siren’s call he couldn’t resist. Kyle glanced back toward the bedroom, but the sound of Lauren’s deep breathing continued. He reached for the book and opened it, smiling at the pop-up of an ocean wave. There was a figurine of a surfer mounted on a wire so the small figure vibrated in place. The figure itself was plastic, a dark-haired girl in a green swimsuit, similar to the one Lauren had worn all those years ago. Her shoulders were even burned pink, probably with the application of a little pink paint. At the edge of the wave was a paper umbrella, the kind that you get in a cocktail, one that looked a whole lot like the roof of that beach bar in Santa Cruz.

  On the lid was Keats’ verse, written with a calligraphy pen on paper that looked old, as if it had been penned by Keats himself. There was a
tracing laid over it, and Kyle recognized it as the pattern a tattoo artist would use to transfer a design to skin. The line drawing was a cluster of holly, three leaves and four berries, exactly like Lauren’s tattoo.

  Finally, there was a snapshot that popped up, too, a picture Kyle had never seen before. One of Lauren’s friends must have taken it, but he didn’t remember. It was of him and Lauren, sitting at the beach bar with shots of tequila, both unaware of the camera. They were laughing at each other and he could see that she was in the act of stealing his lime slice.

  The book box really did capture one perfect moment forever.

  Kyle closed the box and put it back on the shelf with a kind of reverence.

  It had been perfect.

  He was never going to hurt her, but he had to help her to believe in forever again. Given that he was new to this whole love thing, he didn’t like the right person to make the argument.

  But he loved Lauren. That had to count for something.

  How would he persuade Lauren that she’d shown him the value of forever? It would take a grand gesture, that was for sure. He had until Christmas, her own deadline, to figure it out. He would be first in line, and he’d make the most eloquent and persuasive argument possible on his own behalf. Kyle dressed quickly and quietly, even managing to find all of the studs from his shirt, then let himself out of her apartment and went back to his own.

  There was work to be done.

  Kyle doubted that he’d ever been so motivated.

  Fourteen

  It was time to refresh Grandma Trixie’s mermaid hair. Lauren packed up her gear the third Saturday in October and headed for Mamaroneck on the train. She’d called the night before to confirm and had been glad to hear that her grandmother had a date with Albert. They were going to see a movie together.

  The train gave her time to think. She thought about Kyle. He’d been calling her every couple of days and she loved talking to him.

  She wanted to do more than talk, but Kyle seemed to be working a lot of hours on F5’s expansion plans. She enjoyed his excitement, and also liked that he called her late at night. It felt intimate to talk to him when she was in bed, and sexy, too.