Numb

by Lynn Rider

  “Meagan, I’m Dr. Richardson. It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you from my colleague, Dr. Cotter.” I was flattered that he would have heard anything. He smiled at Ashton. “Mr. Harris, I’m a big fan. Nice to meet you,” he said genuinely as he shook Ashton’s hand. That seemed to appease Ashton as his body visibly relaxed.

  “Well, let’s see how you’re doing.” He lifted my arm and rolled it gently before resting it again at my side. “Any numbness return?” he asked as he rolled a cart over and plugged it in.

  “No, thankfully.”

  “I’m sure Dr. Cotter told you that this is normal for this type of break.” He pulled out a wand-like device with a saw attachment. “Don’t worry, it won’t cut you.” He smiled as he continued to ready the machine. “Once we cut this off, we’ll do another x-ray.”

  I nodded as he began cutting the cast from my arm. My arm was sensitive to the cool air once he cut through the layers of gauze that protected my skin from the hard surface. Ashton gave me a funny grin as I stretched my arm straight.

  “How does it feel?” Dr. Richardson asked.

  “It feels weird.” I laughed as I continued working it back and forth.

  “That’s normal. You haven’t moved it in weeks. I’m going to take you for a quick x-ray and then I’ll refer you to a physical therapist.”

  My eyes shot from my arm to his eyes. “I’ll need physical therapy?”

  “Not necessarily, but because of what you do for a living, I’d like you to work with one.”

  My body wilted. I don’t do anything anymore.

  A slow smile formed when we turned into Leah and Cliff’s driveway and saw them standing outside arranging fall decorations.

  “This doesn’t look good,” Ashton joked as he took in the sight of Leah standing with her hands on her hips while Cliff obediently moved bales of hay from one position to another. They both turned as we neared and Ashton parked.

  “I love it, guys!” I called out, stepping from the car and inspecting their stack of hay bales, mums and pumpkins.

  Both Leah and Cliff smiled. “She won’t let me hire anyone for this shit,” Cliff said as Leah play punched him in the stomach.

  “It doesn’t kill him to decorate the house for fall. We have a house full of people coming for Thanksgiving in a few days and I’ll be cooking all day but he won’t let me hire anyone for that shit.”

  “Baby, I love your cooking. We can’t get that from anyone else,” he replied sweetly.

  I shook my head and walked past them. “Where’s my baby?” I called out over my shoulder as I walked inside. Leah followed me in leaving Ashton and Cliff to the decorating. “You may not want to leave them out there alone. I’m not sure that Ashton is any more qualified than Cliff,” I joked.

  “Oh well, it’s just some pumpkins and straw.” She shrugged.

  “How are you feeling?” I asked quietly as I peeked in on Luke sleeping soundly.

  “I feel good. No morning sickness whatsoever. Very odd because with that one, I was green every morning.”

  “Maybe it’s a girl.” My voice was hopeful and Leah’s smile made me wonder if she was hopeful too.

  “How’s the arm?” she asked as we made our way to the kitchen.

  “It’s good. I’m still getting used to using it again. I had my first appointment with the physical therapist, and outside of some simple exercises she gave me to do, she’s confident I won’t need sessions with her,” I said happily.

  “What are going to do now?”

  “I don’t know yet. I thought about offering lessons, but I’m not sure that’s the avenue I want to take. Ashton actually suggested I talk to James and see if he has any ideas.”

  “James David is definitely a good contact to have. So Ashton is being supportive of you going back?” She sounded skeptical.

  “Yeah. In fact, he’s been more supportive in the past couple of weeks than he seemed to be before.”

  “Why do you think that is?”

  “I don’t know. I think he’s carrying around the remorse of it and the potential it had for ruining my career.”

  “Do you blame him for the attack?”

  “No,” I answered without hesitation.

  She smiled. “Good, now help me make a salad.”

  “I love having dinner with them.” Ashton smiled as he slid behind the wheel of his car.

  “I love Leah, and Cliff is all right too.” I laughed. “You know, when they first got together I thought she was too good for him both in looks and personality, but now I see how they fit together perfectly.”

  “You think people say that when they see us together?” he asked as he grabbed my hand.

  “What are you saying? You’re so hot that people wonder what you see in me?”

  “No, I was thinking the opposite.” He kissed my hand. “You really don’t see how beautiful you are, do you?” He glanced in my direction.

  “Ashton, I’m already your girlfriend. If you’re trying to work your lines on me, it’s not necessary. You’ve already got me.”

  He laughed and kissed my hand again. “I’d like you to be more than my girlfriend, Meagan.”

  “I want that too … someday.”

  He kissed my hand once more and returned his attention back to the road.

  We rode in silence until we approached the city. “Are we ever going to talk about the baby?”

  “There’s nothing to say, babe.” His casual tone angered me.

  “So what, we just say nothing until it arrives? You haven’t even told me if you’re having a girl or boy.” I noticed his grip tightened around the steering wheel.

  “Jim sent some information that they were asking for this week and we haven’t heard back.”

  “Is that normal?”

  “Given what we sent, I didn’t expect an immediate response.” I sat back in the seat, mentally exhausted with his vague answers and the overall situation.

  “Babe, wake up,” Ashton said quietly.

  I startled awake and looked around. We were in the parking garage of my building. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you,” I said as he helped me from the car.

  “Well, you didn’t fall asleep on me, but you can later if you want.” His mischievous smile prompted a sleepy smile from me.

  Ashton held me tightly in his arms as we rode in the elevator. I inhaled his scent and felt an invisible blanket of comfort wash over me. I belonged in his arms forever.

  “Ashton, no matter what happens with this baby, we’re going to be okay,” I affirmed.

  He loosened our embrace and looked down at me. “You’ll love me no matter what?” he asked, his eyes dancing between mine.

  I nodded. “I could never not love you, Ashton. It’s not even an option.”

  He lowered his face, pressing his lips to mine chastely and holding them there until the soft ding of the elevator broke our moment.

  Ashton led me to bed, helping me to strip from all my clothes and pulled back the duvet.

  “Climb in, babe,” he softly commanded. I silently climbed between the sheets and he covered me snugly with the sheet and blanket.

  “I love seeing you with Luke,” he whispered softly against my temple. He placed a chaste kiss to my forehead before turning and setting off toward the door.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’ll be right back. I have to make a call,” he said from the doorway.

  “Okay,” I mumbled as I rolled on my side to settle in for sleep. Darkness swept the room as the door swung closed and I heard the gentle click, knowing he was gone. My eyes focused on the glowing numbers of the clock briefly.

  11:47PM. Who could he be calling this late?

  Suddenly not as tired, I lied awake for several more minutes before climbing from bed, grabbing my robe and padding into the living room. I heard the muffled sound of Ashton’s voice coming from the kitchen.

  “No, I’ll be there … Yeah, I need to end it … I know.
I said from the beginning I was going to do what’s right and I will.”

  I cleared my throat before rounding the corner into the kitchen. Ashton’s eyes flashed a worried look in my direction briefly before softening. “I gotta go. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said just before he disconnected. “I thought you were sleeping, babe,” he questioned.

  “I couldn’t sleep without you,” I said softly as I closed the distance between us and hugged him.

  A soft smile formed on his lips. “Then let’s go to bed.” He scooped me up and carried me. Once again he pulled the covers back before he laid me down gently on the mattress. He stripped me of my robe and quickly undressed before climbing in next to me. He pulled me into his firm body, wrapping his one arm under me and the other resting on my hip. I felt the brushing of his warm breath against my shoulder with each exhale.

  “Is everything okay, Ashton?” I asked in the darkness.

  “Yeah, babe. Everything is okay.”

  I awoke the next morning to an empty bed. I padded out to the living room in search of Ashton and only found an empty apartment. As I watched the coffee pour into my mug, vague memories of him waking me at some point flashed through my mind, but I didn’t remember what was said.

  A lone piece of paper sat atop the counter.

  I read his words repeatedly. This was unlike Ashton, but his entire demeanor had been off after we got home last night. I reached for my phone and dialed his number only for it to go right to voicemail.

  “ASHTON TO PROPOSE”

  THE TABLOID HEADLINE STARED at me while in line at the store. The headlines sat atop of two pictures: one of him leaving a high-end jewelry store in the city, and the other a reprint of the one with him and the pregnant brunette. My throat squeezed as the lump painfully formed and the pain in my chest seared as my mind tormented me with images of the two of them living happily ever after with their child.

  “Miss, are you okay?”

  I snapped from my thoughts and smiled weakly in the young cashier’s direction as I handed her my last minute items for my trip home to Nashville for Thanksgiving.

  I hurried out of the store and into my car where I emotionally fell apart. When I began to calm, I called Leah.

  “Hey, have you changed your mind and decided to break that silly tradition of spending Thanksgiving with your family? Will you please come over? His sister is about to drive me crazy. His mom can only run interference for so long,” she whispered the last.

  “I’m on my way to the airport,” I said through my tears.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I think he’s going to marry her.”

  “Marry who?” she asked, not following along.

  “His baby’s momma,” I cried out, suddenly feeling like I was on an episode of Jerry Springer.

  “Oh, Meagan don’t be ridiculous. That man loves you,” she said dismissively.

  “I saw the picture of him coming from Watson’s Jeweler’s!”

  “So? That doesn’t mean anything. I go to Watson’s just to look around all the time.”

  “Leah!” I groaned. “He doesn’t want to be his dad. He’s going to do right by the baby. It makes sense now. This is why he’s pushing me to be ready for the second chair audition in January. He wants me back to work so he doesn’t feel the guilt of ruining my career.”

  “Meagan Chambers, Snap the hell out of it!”

  I sighed heavily. “Meagan, please call him and tell him what you saw. Don’t leave town not knowing. Don’t you dare run!”

  “Okay,” I said solemnly before I hung up and did just that. I turned off my phone and drove straight to the airport. I waited at my gate, boarded the plane and tried to leave all thoughts of Ashton behind.

  Within two hours of arriving at Owen’s, I’d realized I hadn’t left Ashton behind. He once again was all consuming, directing my every thought. Something had felt different the other night when we’d made love. I knew now it was his goodbye. The words I’d overheard on the phone circled through my head on repeat.

  Phillip knocked on the bedroom door. “Ashton called baby girl. He’s worried. Will you talk to me about what’s bothering you?” he asked as he sat on the edge of the bed.

  “I really don’t want to talk about it. I need more time,” I said solemnly, blinking back the tears threatening again.

  “You can’t keep it bottled up and he doesn’t understand what happened.”

  “Not yet, Phillip.”

  Phillip nodded and quietly closed the door behind him.

  I opened my eyes to a dark room and realized I’d fallen asleep. I’d arrived this afternoon and haven’t left the room since. Owen would be here soon if he weren’t already. I need to get it together. I forced myself to sit up and run my fingers through my long tangled hair, trying to shake the heartache off.

  “You were trying to push me from your life again.” His deep voice broke through the silence from the chair in the corner.

  “Shit, you scared me.”

  “And you’re scaring me … again.” He stood and stepped toward me. My heart beat rapidly. “Why?” His voice was pained now as he stood in front of me.

  “I didn’t know how to deal with what I saw. I was coming here anyway. It wasn’t like you didn’t know where I was,” I said acidly.

  “Why didn’t you call me? I would have explained.”

  “Explained what? That you’re starting over with Ms. Johnson?” I sneered as I went to get up.

  His long fingers circled around my biceps, gently pushing me back down on the bed. He kneeled in front of me. “I wasn’t starting anything with Ms. Johnson, Meagan. I was finishing what she started,” he said softly. “I flew to Minneapolis to sign a paper authorizing them to use the DNA sample I had already provided. I went to end this once and for all.”

  My face snapped to his.

  “That’s right, babe, it’s over. We’re free to live our lives together just the two of us.”

  “So that picture of you at Watson’s wasn’t real?” I asked.

  “We’ll talk about that another time. Let’s just leave it at it wasn’t to buy that woman anything.”

  “What about the picture of you and her laughing like great friends?”

  “Well, I wouldn’t go as far as great friends. But I will say that picture wasn’t even of Ms. Johnson. Ms. Johnson is blonde. That picture was of me and Candice Powell. She used to work for the label. That picture must have been taken a year and a half ago. Her twins just turned one and she’s a stay at home mom now living in Soho.”

  “So it’s really over?” I asked hopefully.

  “Yes, it’s over. Not my kid.”

  “How do you know? Are you sure?”

  He laughed softly. “Well, there’s a ninety-nine point nine percent chance it’s someone else’s.”

  “I don’t understand?”

  “She had a boyfriend, and as much as I didn’t want that baby to be mine, he wanted it to be his. After he heard I‘d come to Minneapolis, he decided to reach out to me. He couldn’t get to me, so he tried to get to you and ended up getting to Owen. Owen passed along this guy’s information with a stern warning to me to fix this, so I did.”

  “So what … she had a boyfriend? That doesn’t prove anything.”

  “There was always a noninvasive paternity test, but it wasn’t one hundred percent accurate, so given there were no other takers for fathering this child it wouldn’t have cleared me from her accusation. When this young man came forward, we tested. He’s the father, Meagan.”

  “He’s the father?” I asked through a sob. Not a sob of anguish like I’d shed so many times recently, but a sob of joy. Pure joy.

  “We need to talk about your little disappearing act. For a girl who offers me such great advice and seems so smart, why do you continue to listen to those tabloids? They don’t know shit about us, but you know us, so why do you continue to let them tell you what is real?”

  “I don’t know. It just made sense that you would g
o to her to raise your child.”

  “Meagan, you’re the only woman I’ll ever go to and the only child I’ll be raising is ours.”

  5 years later…

  “I’LL MEET YOU RIGHT here, babe,” Ashton said as he pulled me into a small dimly lit alcove and nibbled softly at my neck.

  “Ashton, you’re going to get us thrown out. This is the symphony, not a club,” I teased quietly against his skin as I tried to keep my knees from buckling.

  “Too bad because I think I could take you against this wall.” A soft rumble of laughter reverberated from his body.

  I playfully swatted his chest. “I’m going to be late. You better find your seat. I love you.” I stretched up his tuxedo-clad body to press my lips softly to his.

  “I love you too, babe. Have a great show.”

  I kissed him chastely one last time before turning on my heel. Before I could get away, I felt a hard smack on my ass. I threw a smile over my shoulder as I giggled and started toward the backstage access door.

  As I prepared for curtain call I smiled, knowing my biggest fan was watching from the balcony. Having Ashton in the audience wasn’t as nerve-wracking as it once was. If he wasn’t working, he was almost a permanent fixture here. In fact, I thought I played better knowing he was here.

  As the concert started, my thoughts shifted to the music and I quickly became lost.

  “Come on, we have to get closer,” Ashton called over his shoulder with a gentle tug of my arm. I looped my hand under the warmth of his thick jacket and followed through the crowd closely.

  “Ashton, I can see it!” I shrieked joyfully.

  He glanced back, flashing me a wide smile as he continued pulling me forward to get closer. “But we need to be closer to the stage,” he said as we snaked our way through the masses.

  I noticed the occasional double-take cast in Ashton’s direction as we passed by, but no one asked. His hair had grown out a little once again, but he rarely wore it in his usual tousled style. The days of light stubble were long gone, making way for full view of his handsome face. He was still in his tuxedo from my performance earlier, wearing his black framed glasses and his hair was perfectly styled, disguising himself from what anyone would expect Ashton Harris to look like.