Guilty! -The Trials of Phil Ferguson

by Sean Russell

  Derek arrived just in time to see Phil and Erica grinding on the dance floor to After the Love Is Gone by Earth, Wind and Fire. Derek fumed as he watched Erica’s lithe body intimately engaged with Phil’s athletic structure, following its every twinge. It was is if they were having sex right there on the dance floor, only the prospect of them wearing clothes acting as contraception. He marched up to Phil and tapped him on his shoulder.

  “Time’s up son.”

  Phil looked at him, assuming it was a prank Teddy was playing on him. He smiled and pulled some money from his pocket.

  “Get yourself a beer and enjoy the party.” Derek’s demeanour immediately escalated from seething to enraged. He pulled Phil around and chucked him. Phil was about to retaliate, but Erica stepped in between them and pleaded for them not to fight. Derek was not satisfied; he wanted blood. He pushed Erica aside with his left arm and was about to hit Phil with his right, but the punch was arrested when Teddy held him firm. Derek was ready to take his chances. He was still very upset, but by this time a very large human being explained to all involved they could end the drama there and then or be ejected immediately.

  Common sense prevailed, but Erica was by then upset and embarrassed and decided to leave. Phil offered to take her home, but she declined. Teddy took Phil to the bar for some drinks to cool him down.

  It didn’t work. The night was soured. They decided to leave—maybe they could catch some action somewhere else.

  “You ready to finish what you started?” Derek called to Phil as he and Teddy walked to the car.

  “Yeah. With Erica!” Phil said with a grin. He was sweet with alcohol and so he didn’t give a shit about some poor, jealous boyfriend. He was lucky Teddy and the bouncer saved him from Phil burstin’ his ass.

  They were almost by the car. Phil had the keys, but it was Teddy’s uncle’s car, an old Toyota Corolla which had clearly seen better days. Teddy let Phil drive so he could drink as much as he wanted. Phil was more careful with the drinks and hence more sober by the time they had finished their nocturnal excursions.

  Teddy had entered his side already—they never bothered to lock the doors. Phil had opened his door and was about to get in when Derek stepped up behind him and pushed him. Phil stumbled forward and struck his head on the A pillar of the car. He saw stars, but he was aware that Derek was on the other side of the door. He used the door as a battering ram and vented his pain by using it to slam into Derek’s body. It was a forceful blow, one that would make any NFL linebacker proud. Derek collapsed in a heap on the ground outside the car.

  Phil was on his way to beat the shit out of him when he felt his progress retarded. Teddy was holding him, his hands gripping Phil’s jeans as he leaned across the car seat. Phil was of a mind to chop Teddy’s hand and break the grip, but he heard Teddy’s voice appealing to his higher self.

  “Don’t do it Phil! You drunk now and you gun be shame in the morning if you do what you plan to do.” Phil hesitated.

  “Get in and leh we roll from here man.” Teddy pleaded.

  Phil complied. He shut the door, started the car and was making his way to turn the car around. Just in the periphery of his vision he sensed movement and a fraction of a second later he was aware of the cause. Derek had a rock in his hand set to smash Phil’s face through the car window. The searing pain in his head, the dulling of his moral saber by the alcohol and finally the frustration of not ending this annoyance, combined with the immediate threat to his safety, placed Phil in the zone where his basal instincts commanded him. He was going to end this nonsense once and for all. He was going to run over Derek and squash him like one squashes a filthy roach when one finally catches it. He gunned the engine and swerved towards his prey. Derek did not factor for this, the realisation of his own mortality. The reality evaporated Derek’s irrational thought process as he stared wide-eyed into the dull headlight beams quickly encroaching on his personal space. His only thoughts were his life flashing before him as he saw its termination quickly approaching.

  Suddenly there was a loud crash as metal violently met concrete. It was a stalemate. Both the car and the wall demonstrated obvious damage. The car was capable of being driven home, albeit in a sadder condition before its last encounter, but the good news was that there was no bone and sinew in the mix.

  Teddy had managed to drag the wheel in time for the car, then Phil’s missile, to miss Derek.

  Derek experienced the embarrassing involuntary release of those sphincters which kept him continent.

  On realization of this, he scampered into hiding, not wanting anyone to report that he had shit and pissed himself.

  Phil was sobered by the violent impact. Fortunately neither he nor Teddy were injured. The only thing that was injured was Phil’s pride. He held himself to higher standards of behaviour and this lapse could have cost someone’s life, Phil his freedom, and Phil’s family their reputation. Phil swore to himself that he would never execute this lack of judgment again. He also swore to have only one glass of alcohol at any sitting, that glass being the lubricant that facilitated social intercourse.

  He sat there breathing hard for minutes. Teddy gave him some time before exchanging seats and driving the car home, dropping Phil to his domicile first.

  No one witnessed the vehicular homicide attempt.

  Teddy kept the secret and Phil never mentioned it again except to express a very sincere apology and thanks, and to pay to fix the car.

  Teddy thought it was a small deposit in his own account of gratitude that he had for Phil. Phil was unaware of how profoundly he had influenced Teddy’s life, and it was just Phil being who he was. They were much younger then.

  It happened on a hot summer afternoon. The sun was so bright that it forced you to screw your eyes closed as soon as you stepped outside. With it came the heat, the type that penetrated your skin and burned with a purpose that left a sting in the soft tissue underneath. It shimmered in visible waves just inches above the road. The sky was a brilliant blue with few clouds to render relief from the blistering sun. It also was a still day—not a breeze to quench the scorching heat. This did not stop the collection of boys from Teddy’s street playing a game of cricket in the deserted lot several houses down from where Teddy lived.

  Close as it was to his home, Teddy wasn’t playing. It was not as if he didn’t want to play, or was afraid of sunburn. In fact, Teddy loved the game and often entertained dreams of being on the once world-dominant West Indies team when he got older.

  However, he wasn’t getting any practice. The boys refused to let him play. He was considered a liability: too many dropped catches, too many beamers with resulting body blows to the unfortunate candidates who happened to batting when he tried to bowl, and too many one-ball innings when he was either caught or bowled by the first ball when he tried to bat.

  He was useless as far as neighbourhood boys were concerned. It wasn’t as if his appearance at the time helped. Teddy was a bit portly then, wearing old school clothes that were too small and hence emphasized his ungainliness. But Teddy’s real problem was that he was very nervous and lacked confidence. Unknown to his father, abandoned by his mother, and left in his grandmother’s care, he was not the most wanted child. His old caretaker’s greatest need for him was to run to the shop to fetch a bottle of white rum and a box of cigarettes for her. He did not know self-belief nor self-worth.

  On that hot summer day Teddy was ‘on the boundary’, just next to the paling, the few galvanized sheets which separated the empty lot from the house next to it. Teddy blocked, fetched and returned balls to the stumps as best he could. He was soaking in sweat and there were skid marks of dirt along his tattered, ill-fitting shirt and pants. There was one problem, however, no one had picked Teddy to play.

  Phil got out. Everyone else had batted already, and it was rightfully Teddy’s turn to bat. He approached the wicket to claim his right, but as Phil handed him the bat the other boys protested.

  “He can’t bat! He ent
playin’ with nobody.” Shouted several boys.

  “He stood and fielded all day, you can’t do that to the man. You all acting like this is test cricket. We just having fun.” Phil replied.

  Teddy was looking hesitant and was ready to retreat. He had been expelled many times before, but Phil stood in his way.

  “He ent playin’! He’s a nuisance, a bare waste of time!” Shouted the biggest of the boys.

  Phil was incensed. This was wrong.

  “If he ent playing, no cricket playing here today!!” Two of the bigger boys stepped forward to retrieve the bat, but Phil didn’t back down. It was a stand-off.

  It was just then that Egbert Norville, the old man who lived next door and who loved to watch the boys play, shouted at them.

  “Come on boys, play the damn cricket! You gun waste time over foolishness? He gun get out one ball anyhow.”

  The boys backed down and Teddy batted, and as if to vindicate himself, he hit the ball all over the place.

  It was twenty minutes before he got out.

  Teddy was elated and shocked. Never before in his life had anyone stood up for him. Never had anyone allowed him to feel that he was anything more than annoyance to be tolerated. His world was turned upside down. It was from that day that Teddy began to believe in himself and fight for his own rights. It changed his life. Teddy embarked on a revolution that resulted in the Teddy present now. He always remembered that Phil’s action was the turning point in his life and he would always have Phil’s back.

  When he finished school, Teddy found his way to the United States of America. He by then felt claustrophobic with his home, having never traveled overseas in his life. He did not have the means to afford an education at a North American university, but he decided that he must have an education in the U.S. nonetheless. It did not have to be formal. He managed to convince a cousin to let him stay for a few weeks’ holiday and that he was going to pay his way.

  Teddy had a way with numbers and became fascinated with the stock market. He spent all his time studying the market and the companies he thought had potential. As he was unemployed, that was a considerable amount of time. Teddy was ostensibly a student at community college, the cheapest place of higher learning he could find. He didn’t attend any classes and consequently failed a number of his subjects. Many of his classmates wondered why he just didn’t give up. He clearly wasn’t interested. They didn’t understand that Teddy had a plan. By the time he finally graduated—he did graduate after seven years, exhausting most of the courses offered at the school—Teddy had a portfolio rivaling any Wall Street guru. He would never have to work for anyone in his life. He had to answer to no man, and he could drink his drinks as he pleased. He placed his money in the United States, London, Grenada, St. Lucia and of course Barbados, in the form of real estate and cash.

  He loved the old chattel house where he lived for several reasons. It was cheap to maintain, it drew little attention and it reminded him of how far he had come. Most of all, he was very comfortable there. He knew everyone, everyone around knew him, and he pretty much did as he pleased with no disturbance from anyone.

  * * *

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  Jimmy gained consciousness with his anus on fire.

  It felt as if it was torn. How the fuck was he going to explain this to his doctor, or any doctor for that matter?

  The intensity of that burn was dwarfed by that of the burn in his heart for revenge. It never occurred to him that this was how Jade must have felt only a few days earlier. It never occurred to him this was how so many people felt after he had unscrupulously raped them. It never occurred to him that this could be payback. No.

  Jimmy’s mind didn’t work that way. It only operated on what Jimmy wanted and what Jimmy felt. It did not extend far enough to be concerned with another human being. All Jimmy could think of was revenge.

  Amanda and Jackie would pay. If Jimmy was sure of one thing, it was that. It had become his sole mission and he had all the resources to ensure he would be successful. He always was.

  He looked around and surveyed his surroundings.

  He was in the same place where the heinous event occurred. The 46-inch flat screen TV caught his eye.

  It wasn’t the monitor that caught his attention, he had bigger ones at home. The images displayed on the screen, however, set him thirty thousand feet above the ground at the controls of a plane caught in a tailspin which was irrecoverable, the crash inevitable.

  As revolted as he was, Jimmy stared at the screen mesmerised, his stomach churning as if it contained a concrete mixer. Jimmy willed himself to suspend belief, but he knew better. The monitor which had him transfixed dispossessed him of any notion that he could deny the previous night’s transgressions.

  It was in clear, living colour and high definition.

  Jimmy Cadogan was in a most demeaning pose, on the receiving end of a sodomy. The details were plain to see. The director of this tragic flick knew where the cameras were and used them to full effect. The recording was looped and the act was displayed over and over ad nauseam. Jimmy was properly screwed.

  He finally found the strength to break the hypnotic spell. He seized the TV and threw it to the floor. To his dismay, it did not shatter into a million pieces like he thought it would. Instead, the display cracked, but it was still plugged in and so it continued to project Jimmy’s most humiliating moments. Jimmy stomped on the screen until it broke and the images were no longer recognizable. By then the broken shards of glass had sliced his feet in several places. He was too numb to feel the pain or notice the blood coming from his feet. Somehow the message alert on his phone caught his attention. He walked over to his pants where the phone was clipped to his belt. There was a text message from Amanda. He read it.

  ‘ Dear Jimmy, we want to thank you for a really good time. I know this may sound corny, but should anything happen to Jackie or myself, be assured that our home video WILL be a subject of public knowledge.

  Amanda. ’

  There was another text with the contact numbers of some of Jimmy’s important associates, many of whom were as vocally homophobic as Jimmy was.

  * * *

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  Phil was at home. It was eight in the morning. He had returned home an hour earlier. Jade had wanted to drill him, but her husband’s body language told her not to. He was a frenzy of activity; working on the computer, running through his personal files, on the phone with his dad and uncle. Finally Jade could hold her tongue no longer.

  “What’s going on Phil?”

  “What do you mean what’s going on? You know Jade, I’m about to go on trial for trying to kill you!” Phil was clearly agitated. Jade took a step back.

  “Phil you’re acting as if it’s my fault.” Phil saw that Jade was a little hurt.

  “No, it’s not you. I’m under a lot of pressure to deal with this trial.”

  “Seems to me that you are more interested in finding a large sum of money. What are you getting yourself into Phil?”

  “Leave it alone, Jade. I know what I’m doing.”

  “Phil, I know Teddy is your friend, but you’ve got to be careful about advice you get from him. He is a little crazy you know.”

  “Jade, he’s a good friend. He stopped me from killing you.”

  “What!!!” Jade put a hand on her forehead in disbelief. “You actually thought about it?? And you verbalized it to another human being? And your crazy friend Teddy of all people?”

  Phil stepped close to Jade and tried to hug her.

  She pushed him off forcibly. Her temperature was rising by the second as realization of Phil’s words sunk in. She started to pummel on his chest, but she wasn’t inflicting enough pain. If he wanted to kill her, she wanted to kill him. The pain of Jimmy’s rape and the accident that nearly took her life were Phil’s fault and he actually wanted to kill her. All her pent up emotions climaxed at that moment. She lost it.

  “You shit! You cheated and
you wanted to kill me!

  I fucking hate you!” She shrieked.

  Phil was totally flummoxed. He had never seen Jade so angry. That was the last thing he registered.

  Jade, in her rage, took a lamp and launched it across Phil’s head. It knocked him unconscious for about a minute.

  She stood over him, watching him helpless on the floor, blood trickling from the small gash on the side of his face where the lamp broke his skin.

  The appearance of him motionless and bleeding defused her rage. He became a human being that was vulnerable and in trouble instead of the loathsome person he was in her eyes just moments before. She helped him into a sitting position and started mopping the blood from his face with her blouse. They sat quietly on the floor as Phil gathered himself. Jade was crying. He could not believe what had just happened, but he was too dazed and too overwhelmed to react.

  He tried to clear his head.

  Jade was stroking his face gently.

  “I’m so, so sorry. I can’t believe I hit you. I am really sorry.”

  Her face reflected the pain she had inflicted on her husband.

  “I couldn’t believe what you just said, I was shocked and I reacted. I’ve been through a lot.” She noticed blood seeping through her improvised bandage. “But then again so have you. Phil I’m on your side, please believe me, I don’t want you to make things worse.”

  “I am truly sorry too Jade, but that was then.

  Let’s leave it there. I don’t have the time to focus on anything except what I’m doing now.”

  “Whatever it is, it’s wrong. Otherwise I would be helping you with it.”

  They separated now. Phil looked at her pleadingly as he rose to his feet.

  “Jade please...”

  “Please Phil, you are going down the wrong road.

  Whatever you’re doing is wrong, don’t do it. It’s going to haunt you, I know it will. You have to do things the right way.”