Destroyer of Planets: Book 1 of the Neon Octopus Overlord Series

by L. A. Johnson

Kirian held the elevator doors open and yelled. "You're making this more complicated than it needs to be, Ari. We have to hurry."

  She'd just been fired for the first time. A new wave of wooziness washed over her as she remembered Mr. Brake and his threats. Even if Kirian weren't right about the imminent deletion of the planet, actual security would likely arrive soon, and that was bad too.

  "Now, Ari. Don’t make me shoot you," Kirian shouted.

  For the first time in her life, Ari had to make a split-second decision. The only thing she could go on was instinct.

  Then she realized with a jolt that she was over-thinking a fight or flight response. Was that even possible?

  It was a simple act, running to catch an elevator. Her body ran fast, but her mind moved even faster, objecting all the way down the hallway and into the elevator with a visibly annoyed Kirian.

  "Took you long enough," said Kirian.

  Ari, what have you done?

  Ari's mind was still racing when the elevator dinged as they reached the ground floor. She followed Kirian, who confidently weaved her way through the crowd of business people and out through the main door.

  Once outside, Ari stopped. What had been a beautiful, sunny day earlier had deteriorated into one that presaged the apocalypse. Black clouds filled the skies. Papers, pizza boxes, and articles of clothing blew by. There was an energy in the air Ari had never felt before, and a smell of static-charged electricity.

  Kirian turned west. Ari followed, hurrying to catch up.

  "What's going on?" Ari yelled into the wind. A tremor rolled beneath her feet. She wobbled, running faster to catch herself. The pavement rippled further down the street.

  "Kirian!"

  Kirian slowed and turned to face her.

  "What?"

  Somehow Ari hadn't expected that. And by the contorted expression on Kirian's face, she figured asking her if she had seen the concrete ripple wasn't a good idea.

  Kirian’s left eye twitched. "Look, Ari, we have to get out of here now. Keep up."

  The ground buckled beneath her feet. This time it was more than a tremor, and this time a strange metallic roar accompanied it. She kept running. Then another quake knocked her off her feet.

  "What is going on?" Ari yelled. "I've been here almost two years, and we've never once had a quake. There's almost no tectonic plate instability on this planet's surface."

  "Nerd," Kirian replied.

  Movement caught the corner of Ari’s eye. She turned to face it and couldn’t believe what she saw. It didn't make sense. Nothing made sense anymore. A giant Egyptian fox statue appeared to be walking on two legs through the middle of downtown. What in stars? Several parts of Ari's mind started to scream and argue with each other at the same time.

  Kirian grabbed Ari by both shoulders.

  Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. If she was in a bad B-movie, she needed some popcorn.

  Kirian shook her violently. It wasn't as fun as it looked in movies. "Ari, listen."

  Ari snapped out of her daze. And now her arms hurt. "What?"

  "We have to run!" Kirian turned and darted like a deer through the now very busy city street, the lit ends of her dark hair trailing behind her dramatically.

  Ari concentrated on following. The simplicity of the task helped her to focus.

  People were emptying out of buildings and flooding the streets. There was screaming and general mayhem and the smell of smoke. Is this what happens when a planet gets deleted?

  She understood why they were running, but wondered why they were running in the opposite direction to everybody else. The main portals out of town were the other way.

  "Kirian, you're going the wrong way.” Maybe Kirian had gotten turned around in the confusion.

  "Trust me," said Kirian, stopping only long enough for Ari to hear her above the roar. "They're not going anywhere. I'll explain later."

  Ari's phone chimed an emergency notification. She looked at it. "They closed all portals leaving the planet. How did you know they were going to do that? And what's going to happen to all of those people?"

  "Closing the portals is the standard planetary emergency procedure. And right now, my worry isn't all those people, it's us and getting to my portal. Fast."

  "You have your own portal?"

  "Shut up and run."

  Kirian set off running again, even faster than before. Ari struggled to keep up. They were making their way out of the city proper now, heading toward a dirt field bordered by scraggly trees.

  Another metallic roar that reminded Ari of the soundtrack from a Godzilla movie pierced the air. Every hair on her body stood up. She ran faster. Kirian stopped as they reached the trees and Ari nearly ran into her.

  "Why are we stopping?" Ari asked, panting, and not trying to hide the panic in her voice.

  "Oh, now you're in a hurry?" Kirian answered, poking through the trees. "Where is it?"

  Another roar followed a new quake. It knocked them both off their feet.

  Ari crawled over to Kirian. "What are we looking for?"

  "My portal," Kirian replied, crawling in and around the stand of trees.

  "What does it look like?" Ari asked.

  "Like a shimmer in the light. My tracker says we’re close. You have to look at it at exactly the right angle, or you can't see it. Otherwise, it would just get stolen, wouldn’t it? Not to mention the fact that they’re illegal. A-ha, there it is." She pointed at it triumphantly, still on her knees. "Let's go."

  Ari saw it, a blue-grey distortion in the area beside a small Oak. If Kirian hadn’t pointed it out, Ari would have walked right over it.

  "You had something to do with this, didn't you?” Ari didn’t move. She wasn’t ready to go through the portal with the stranger sent to kill her who was involved in the destruction of an entire planet.

  Another roar ripped through the air. Another rampaging Egyptian Fox. Ari ducked down further. Where were they coming from?

  Kirian blinked at her. "Yes, of course, I did. Can't we argue about this on the other side?" She pointed at the shimmer. "There's a lot less death and destruction over there."

  "No." Ari defiantly sat down in the mud. She instantly regretted her decision. "Tell me the truth."

  "Then you'll come through the portal?"

  "Then I'll come through the portal." Her stubbornness was losing the inner battle with her will to survive, but her pride jumped in on the tug of war. Her heart was beating fast, and she could no longer feel her body. Is this what shock feels like?

  "Fine," Kirian whispered. "I knew about it, but it wasn’t my fault, ok?"

  “How did you know?” Ari wanted more than anything to go through the portal, to be safe and to live. But the planet was being destroyed and nothing made sense. It didn't help that right now they were in a small field partially exposed to rampaging monsters that had apparently come out of nowhere.

  Ari almost laughed out loud at the thought that if she were, in fact, in a bad monster movie, she'd probably know more about what was going on than she did at the moment.

  "I knew," said Kirian, her face pale, "because I submitted the paperwork. If we don’t go now, we’re going to have much bigger problems than giant foxes."

  A shadow fell across them. Ari looked up. Another giant Egyptian fox-like creature roared down at them. The smell of iron, garbage, and death filled her nostrils.

  Even though Ari could see its fox-like face peering down at her, she screamed, but couldn't move. Prey instinct had kicked in. A hand grabbed her arm and pulled her forward. Then, for a second, everything faded to black.

  Chapter 3

  Ari and Kirian fell through the portal.

  Ari lay still and caught her breath. They were in a spaceship. The sounds of screaming and roaring were gone, replaced by the low hum of processors on the bridge of the craft. Stars shone through the windows. The distinct tang of stale, recirculated air filled her nostrils.

  "Fleek!" Kirian yelled. "Fire in the hole." S
he turned to Ari. "Fire in the hole means the planet's going to blow up and we need to warp out of here now."

  "Yeah, I guessed!"

  A slender guy with blue lipstick and a blond Mohawk ran to the console and strapped himself into the pilot's chair. "Switching to manual," he said. "Navigation on screen.” He didn't look like any pilot Ari had ever seen. She hoped he could actually fly this thing.

  "Who's he?"

  Kirian didn't answer; she grabbed onto a chair. Nearby explosions rocked the ship.

  "Planet, on screen," Ari yelled. The console switched from the navigation coordinates to the planet they just left. The planet was on fire now and covered in smoke. She screamed.

  Mohawk guy yelled too, for the screen to change back to navigation.

  Another loud explosion rocked the ship. Then the metal, pop-riveted floor seemed to give way, and Ari started floating. The floating wasn't so bad. Everything was calm, almost peaceful. Then she hit the floor, the ceiling, and the floor again in rapid succession. Only then did everything normalize.

  Ari groaned, trying to catch her breath. "What happened?"

  "Your planet blew up, and we warped away just in time. You're welcome," Kirian summed up.

  "We?" said Mohawk. "I warped us out of there, thank you very much. So, who's this, another target?"

  "Yes," Kirian said.

  He unstrapped from the pilot seat and crossed the bridge to Ari, who still lay crumpled in the corner. "Hello, I'm Fleek."

  "Nice to meet you," Ari managed weakly. She couldn't move. She had severe ship lag, and her whole body hurt, the worst of it being a pounding pain in her head. "Another target? So, did Kirian destroy your planet too?"

  "Yes," said Fleek, "thank the stars. The place was a huge bore."

  "It's not what you think," Kirian said defensively. "That was a completely different situation."

  "Yeah," Fleek said, "my dad paid Kirian to save me, but I paid her more to tell him I was dead."

  "That does sound different,” Ari replied. “I just can’t believe it’s all gone.”

  “I didn’t get the feeling you were going to miss that company or that boss." Kirian raised an eyebrow at Ari and turned to Fleek. "Her boss was a real piece of work. I mean, it's not like anyone appreciated her. I wouldn't think a human with your specifications would be stuck in a place like that."

  Ari wanted to argue, but couldn't. "Okay, they were pretty much jerks. Fine. That doesn't excuse blowing up an entire planet, and what about all those billions of lives?"

  "Happens all the time, unfortunately," Kirian said. "It's the purpose of the Celestials. We do our jobs obtaining intelligence and files, commit the occasional assassination, and then she blows up the planet."

  "She?"

  "The Overseer herself, the Neon Octopus Overlord," Kirian said.

  "Hang on," Ari said, "you're telling me that the most Efficient Being in the Galaxy, the Octopus Overlord herself, is behind all of this? Why?"

  "No idea. That's what I'm trying to tell you," said Kirian, "I'm way down the food chain here. I don't get explanations. I get orders."

  Ari conceded the point. She only had one more question. "Don’t think I’m ungrateful, but why did you save my life?"

  Kirian ran a hand through her hair and sighed.

  "Hang on, two more questions," Ari corrected. "Where did the Egyptian fox-statue monsters come from?"

  Ari managed with great effort to pull herself into a sitting position.

  "They are called TPHWs or Temporary Physical Holographic Weapons. The rumor is that only the Octopus herself can make them work."

  "No way," Ari said. "The technology you're talking about is not possible."

  "Fine," Kirian said, "it's not possible. But I know you saw them yourself. Deal with it however you like."

  Kirian was right. And Ari didn't feel like dealing with it at all right then. She changed the subject. "And now we're here on your fancy space ship with your…" Her gaze shifted from Kirian to Fleek.

  "Ex," Kirian said.

  "You don't have to say it like that," Fleek said, frowning.

  "I didn't say it like anything."

  "So why exactly," Ari interjected tersely, "do you need my help?"

  Kirian looked nervously from Fleek to Ari. Then she whispered, "I think I'm losing it." Kirian pointed at her own head. "I keep blacking out." Her face flushed. "And stealing things. I swear, it's not on purpose."

  "I’m telling you it's that hypnotherapist. You really should switch to mine," Fleek said. "Mine doesn't use mind control, or encourage petty theft."

  Kirian drew the curved sword from her clothes and brandished it at Fleek menacingly. Then she held up her wrists to reveal identical wraparound metal bracelets. "I have no choice in the matter, do I? They are mandatory brainwashing sessions, not therapy."

  Fleek took the sword brandishing in stride. He raised his hands at her. "I know that. I do. And I'm sorry. It's just that maybe if you saw my Oracle, he could offset some of what that nut case is doing to you."

  "She wasn't always this jumpy," Fleek told Ari.

  Ari climbed to her feet and stumbled to the bridge area before falling into a chair. "So, let me get this straight. Those bracelets are some sort of restraint?" Ari found this idea unlikely from a technology standpoint, and also highly illegal. "And you're forced into brainwashing sessions?"

  Kirian nodded. “Company policy.”

  Ari turned to face Fleek. "And he sees an Oracle that he found where?"

  "On television. In infomercials that run around the clock," Fleek said cheerfully, ignoring Ari's eye roll.

  Ari nodded and pointed at Fleek. "So, you are going to an Oracle that you found on television, and you're calling her brainwashing hypnotherapist a nutcase?"

  "She's very judgy," Fleek said to Kirian.

  A happy ring tone chimed on the console.

  "Finally," Fleek said, "it's the Oracle."

  Ari turned with Kirian and Fleek to face the screen. A tall, dark-haired and bearded being appeared sitting on a gaudy throne.

  "Greetings, Oracle!" Fleek said cheerfully. "I was just telling Kirian here, that she should switch to you instead of the awful being she sees now."

  "Just so you know," the Oracle said, "my rates have gone up since last time. And of course, you should switch to me, um, Kirian. I assume Kirian is one of these girls." He pointed a finger back and forth between Ari and Kirian.

  "I'm Kirian," she said, waving, "Destroyer of Planets."

  "Good for you," the Oracle replied. "I'm sure I can do a much better job than that other being who's doing hypnotherapy or whatever, gotta be careful with that, it's a nasty business."

  "You're telling me," Kirian mumbled.

  "And what's with the other one?" the Oracle asked, indicating Ari. "We going to make this session a threesome?"

  Fleek looked hopeful.

  "No," Ari said. "We are not."

  Kirian shook her head.

  "Oi!" the Oracle yelled and stood up. He was looking and yelling at something off to his left. "Don't touch that. It's mine. How many times do I have to explain it to you…"

  Ari studied the being on the screen carefully. The accent the Oracle used disappeared when he started yelling, and he continued trying to communicate with someone off screen. He seemed to forget, and then remembered that he was in the middle of a session.

  "Apologies," he said to them with a cheesy bow before crossing to a mysterious looking machine. "So, what is the question for today, Fleek?"

  "I've been wrestling with some personal and professional questions," Fleek answered. He eyed Ari and Kirian, obviously hoping for a little privacy.

  Ari wasn't going anywhere and by the look of it, neither was Kirian.

  Fleek continued speaking after shooting them both a dirty look. "Well, it's the fractals." His face turned red. "I feel like they're telling me it's time. That the things we have been discussing for the last year or so are there for the taking."

  "You'll
have to be more specific," the Oracle replied, "for the machine."

  Fleek shot the girls another desperate, get-lost look before finally giving up.

  "Um, the music stuff," he said to the Oracle. "You know. Fame, fortune, rock and roll, all of it. Is it my time?"

  The Oracle hit the button on the machine while Fleek droned on and on about music and fame and illegal amplifiers and such. In the end, the machine spat out some dice, and Fleek finally stopped talking. The Oracle glanced at them.

  "So," Fleek asked, breathless in anticipation, "what do you have to say to all of that. Should I proceed?"

  The Oracle looked at Fleek with a broad, predatory smile. "Sure," he shrugged, "why not." This answer was followed up very quickly by, "Look at the time, we'll catch up soon."

  The screen faded to black.

  Fleek wore a broad smile. "Yes," he said, adding a little fist pump.

  Kirian spoke to Ari. "See? That Oracle guy's not serious at all, and I have a real problem."

  The console played another jingle. This time it was the theme music for the Evil Emperor Xandorff from the Intergalactic Jannister television series.

  "What in stars?" Ari asked.

  Instead of answering her, Fleek sprinted across the room. He tackled her, sending them both underneath the console desk and out of view. Ari let out a pained groan.

  From her vantage point on the floor, Ari could see Kirian sit in a chair in front of the console. Fleek's eyes bulged out, and he stared wildly at Ari, a finger over his mouth, pleading for her to be quiet.

  "Okay," Ari mouthed, "I get it already."

  The voice broadcast through the speakers sounded calm. Too calm, it was creepy. Kirian stiffened in obvious discomfort at odd times during the conversation.

  Ari nearly nodded off twice at the soothing tone. She shook her head to keep herself awake. Seeing Kirian stiffen again, she realized with horror that Kirian was intermittently zapped with electricity through her bracelets.

  She turned to Fleek who shook his head and placed a finger over his mouth again.

  Then the voice told Kirian she wouldn't remember any of his instructions while awake. After a snap of fingers, the voice was gone.