by Anna Sugden
Though Kayla was secretly grateful for Madison’s intervention, she’d never admit it.
“I remember you from high school,” Madison continued. “You were so much more interesting than the other girls—you didn’t even dress like the clones.”
“The clones?”
“Yeah, the popular girls.” Madison made a gagging gesture. “You know, the Stepford students. They could be vicious if you weren’t part of their circle. But I have to forgive Jackson for chasing after them—he’s a guy and couldn’t see past their cup size.”
“To be honest, I didn’t know how to fit in,” Kayla explained. Feeling like an outsider had bothered her as a kid, but gradually she’d recognized the students she most disliked were the ones who fit in the best, so she’d decided conforming was overrated.
“I thought you were cool and I was really glad when you and Jackson started going out. For a while after he broke up with Marcy he had so many girlfriends, I figured he was going for a record.” Then Madison added candidly, “Of course, I’m not sure he isn’t headed for a record now.”
“So I’ve heard,” Kayla said, trying to make it sound as if she didn’t care one way or the other.
Madison made a disgusted face. “Much as I hate to admit it, my brother can be a jackass when it comes to women. But he’s a good dad,” she added hastily, “so you can feel okay about him and Alex.”
Unsure how to respond, Kayla just nodded. She was getting the idea that Madison and Alaina weren’t at ease with Jackson, which was odd since the McGregors were such a close-knit clan. Kayla didn’t know how deep Jackson’s chauvinism went, but between that, his reputation for one-night stands and his distrust of women, it had to be a stumbling block for his sisters.
Kayla glanced at Jackson as he and his father debated whether the hickory wood coals were ready in the barbecue. They were laughing, despite the mock argument, and a curious sensation went through her. The adult Jackson had become a good person, who truly wanted to do what was best for his son, even if he didn’t always know what that might be.
Damn.
She was starting to like him.
Resolutely, Kayla turned her attention back to Madison in time to see the other woman spill cola on her legs.
“Oh, dear, I’ll be back.” Madison got up and headed for the pool house.
Kayla was grateful for a quiet moment and focused on her children. Now that Alex had gotten over his initial anxiety about Jackson, he seemed happy about their extended stay in Montana, especially now that Sandy was coming for a visit. DeeDee appeared equally pleased, especially with the welcome she’d received that day from the McGregors and Nelsons.
Unfortunately, Kayla didn’t share their feelings. She wasn’t a quitter, but what she felt around Jackson was making her more uneasy by the minute.
* * *
AFTER HER RUN the next morning, Morgan sat and watched the big TV in the family room, stewing. She missed running with Kayla, who’d offered to join her sometime, but today she was taking Alex and DeeDee to pick up their friends at the airport in Billings.
Heaving a sigh, Morgan thought about calling some of her own friends, but didn’t feel like it. She didn’t feel like doing much of anything.
“What’s up?” her dad asked, coming into the room.
“Nothing,” she muttered. It was stupid to say stuff she knew made him mad, but she couldn’t seem to stop.
“Can we turn off the TV?”
Crap. He wanted to have one of his little talks and they usually made her feel worse. Slowly she pressed the power button on the television remote. She glanced at him. Jeez, the last time he’d gotten so serious, it was when he’d explained to her about Alex.
“Morgan, honey,” he said, “I’ve told you I made a lot of mistakes when I was in high school.”
“That’s what you said when you told me about Alex,” she said flippantly. “So we’ve already had this chat.”
“And you know that your mother was expecting you when the two of us got married.”
She froze. “Uh, yeah.”
“I’ve been wondering if you have any questions?”
Sure, she had plenty. Like, did he hate her because he couldn’t go to college because he had to get married? She hunched her shoulders and stared at the floor.
“You wouldn’t have married Mom if it hadn’t been for me, would you?”
“Honestly, no. It’s been hard to talk about because I didn’t want to admit we weren’t in love. But now I’ve realized there’s something important you need to know.”
He paused and Morgan gulped, butterflies jumping in her stomach. His face was so serious, she was afraid she knew what was coming.
“It was a mistake to have been so careless back then,” he said, “but you were a gift that came out of that mistake, and I’ve always been grateful.”
Morgan tried to ignore how her eyes were stinging. What he’d said was so nice, but she might as well ask the big question. “But...what if...what if I’m not your daughter?”
“Lord, why would you ask that?” he asked, and she was pretty sure he was surprised.
“Because I don’t look like you the way Alex does.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. I don’t look like Grandma and Grandpa, but nobody thinks I’m not their son.”
“It’s just that I...I heard Mom slept around. A lot.” There. The horrible words were out of her mouth. Maybe now she’d know the truth. She had felt lower than a snake’s belly ever since she’d overheard Aunt Madison talking about it with Grandma last summer.
Her dad’s eyes closed for a second and she noticed his fists clenched until the skin turned white over his knuckles. Finally he looked at her again and came over to sit on the couch, pulling her close.
“Sweetheart, I wouldn’t care one bit if I wasn’t your birth father.”
She pulled back and looked into his face. “For real?”
“Absolutely for real.” He squeezed her hand. “Morgan, I hadn’t realized you’d heard those things about your mother, but as far as I know, she was faithful until the year before we got divorced.”
“I don’t get why she acted that way.”
“Well, I know she was unhappy, and it was partly my fault. You see, while Great-Uncle Mitch always expected to give me the Crazy Horse, it was supposed to be after I graduated college. He got worried I wasn’t responsible enough to trust with the ranch, so we worked out a plan that included me living on a cowhand’s earnings for several years.”
“I bet Mom was thrilled about that.”
“To be fair, I realize now that I should have talked it over with her first.”
Morgan didn’t think it would have made any difference. Her mom liked money. A lot. She kind of remembered when they’d lived in a small house. After that they’d had a bigger one in town, and then they’d moved into this new place on the ranch.
“Dad, do you think Mom cheated on you in high school?”
“No. But if you’re still wondering if we’re related biologically, I can tell you that you look exactly like Great-Aunt Moira did at your age.”
“Really?”
“Sure. You could be twins. I thought you’d seen Grandma Sarah’s family album.”
“Not for a while.”
“Then, check it out. Just remember that it doesn’t matter. You’re my daughter. Did you know that the only thing I insisted on when your mother and I got divorced was getting custody? I couldn’t bear the thought of her taking you away.”
Suddenly Morgan threw her arms around her dad’s neck and it felt the same as when she was a little girl.
* * *
JACKSON HELD HIS daughter tight, grateful for the kick in the pants that Kayla had given him. It would take time to deal with all the feelings Morgan had been struggling with, but at least they’d made a start.
“Come on,” he said. “It’s been ages since we’ve gone for a ride together. Let’s go to Halloran’s Meadow.”
“Can we get in
the waterfall?”
“If we have enough time.”
“I’ll go change.” Bouncing up, she ran out of the room.
The ride went well and they were back before the others were expected. At two o’clock, the Volvo stopped in front of the house and Alex and DeeDee piled out with their two friends. Morgan was quickly introduced and they chattered away before running to change into their bathing suits.
“Rough drive?” Jackson asked Kayla, seeing her harried expression.
“Two hours with four kids who haven’t seen each other for almost a month? You’d have thought it was years. I don’t think any of them stopped talking the entire way.”
“You’d better sit down and relax.”
Together they walked to the backyard and found Morgan and the others were already at the pool’s edge, barely containing their excitement.
“They’re quick-change artists,” Kayla said at his bewildered stare. “Superheroes in training.”
“Apparently.”
She sank onto a redwood chaise in the shade and put her feet up as a noisy game of water volleyball began between the five youngsters. “Morgan seems happier,” she murmured, “or is that my imagination?”
“We talked this morning,” Jackson replied in an equally low voice. “Apparently she’d learned about Marcy’s bed-hopping and was afraid it meant she might not be my daughter.”
“No wonder she was upset.”
“Right. Marcy’s cheating was the final blow to our marriage, but I don’t think she played around in high school. Not that I’d give a damn if Morgan wasn’t biologically mine. She’s had me wrapped around her little finger since the day she was born.”
“Ah, you were one of those goofy, weak-kneed new daddies. Love doesn’t depend on biology,” Kayla said. “When you love someone, it isn’t about half sisters or brothers or about being an in-law or adopted.”
She stretched and Jackson decided it was safer to focus on the pool rather than her trim figure and long legs.
“I meant to ask if you and the kids were hungry,” he said.
“We ate in Billings after the plane landed,” Kayla explained. “DeeDee hoped to go swimming as soon as we got back and remembered your one-hour rule.”
“That rule frustrates Morgan, too. How about getting in the pool yourself?” he asked. “I can keep an eye on things while you change.”
“Thanks.”
As Kayla went into the pool house, Jackson thought about the past few weeks. She was pushing him to look at things in ways he’d never considered. How many mistakes had he made through the years, trying to make up for his past? And how much had he missed along the way because of it? Maybe it was time to just concentrate on being the man he wanted to be.
Of course, the sight of Kayla walking out in her black one-piece was a reminder that the man he wanted to be remained bedeviled by hormones.
* * *
AT FIVE O’CLOCK Jackson headed into the house. Flora had gone to dinner and a movie with her sister, but she’d left fajita makings in the refrigerator. He started the gas barbecue on the patio and put two griddles over the grill. Soon the scent of seasoned meat and vegetables wafted through the air and he grinned when the kids appeared as if drawn by a magnet.
“That smells fantabulous,” DeeDee breathed.
Fantabulous was one of her favorite words, being a relatively recent addition to the English language. She’d proudly showed him it wasn’t in his older dictionary, but had been included in a newer one used by Morgan. Her dream was to have the same thing happen with some of her own words.
“Can we help?” Sandy Keller asked, prodding Alex with an elbow so he stepped forward, as well.
“Sure, you can get the sour cream and other toppings in the fridge,” Jackson replied.
He tossed a mixture of soy chicken and veggies on the second grill, impressed with his son’s taste in best friends. Sandy Keller was smart, lively and unafraid to voice her opinions. It was also clear that the two friends were on the verge of becoming something more.
“How can you resist this?” Sandy asked twenty minutes later, waving a plate piled with steak, peppers and onions under Alex’s nose. “Don’t be too stubborn to admit you want some.”
Alex made a face. “Okay,” he grumbled, “I’ll have a little.”
Jackson swallowed a laugh. Curious, he scooped some of the grilled protein substitute and vegetables onto a tortilla and ate a bite. The taste was pleasant and the texture wasn’t bad.
“What do you think?” Alex asked.
“It’s all right. I wouldn’t mind eating it part of the time.”
“Yeah, but DeeDee is right about pepperoni pizza. No pepperoni is the worst,” Alex said vehemently.
“Don’t they make a soy substitute?”
“Mom hasn’t found one I like. You know, she’s been pretty cool about the vegetarian thing.”
“That must have helped,” Jackson said, secretly thrilled. It was the closest thing to a normal conversation he’d ever shared with Alex.
* * *
KAYLA TRIED NOT to watch Morgan interacting with Alex and DeeDee and their friends, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. It must have been awful for her, worrying about whether Jackson was really her dad, and if he’d still love her if he wasn’t.
Sometimes Kayla wondered how anyone survived adolescence.
The fajitas were delicious, but Jackson shrugged off her compliments, saying Flora had left everything ready for the grill. Apparently despite his decided chauvinistic tendencies, he didn’t have a problem with cooking himself...as long as it was over a fire.
You’re buying into the stereotypes you hate, Kayla scolded herself, though she’d only seen him with barbecue utensils in hand. Of course, since he had the money to hire a housekeeper, being able to cook wasn’t a big deal.
“Can we go for a ride tomorrow?” Keri asked. “I know how.”
“Sandy rides, too,” Alex added. “Is that okay, Jackson?”
Jackson glanced at Kayla and she nodded. “Their parents told me it was fine.”
“Okay,” he said. “We have more than enough horses.”
The next morning Kayla saw how carefully Jackson evaluated how comfortable the two newcomers were on the mounts he’d selected for them. He finally seemed satisfied and waved them out.
Being alone with Jackson again made her uneasy considering what they’d done the last time, so she walked to a chaise under a tree in the front yard and settled down with a book.
“Trying to avoid me?” Jackson asked as he dragged a chair next to her.
“Trying to avoid repeating mistakes,” she told him bluntly.
“Oh, well, I wanted to ask you something. That is, Sandy isn’t quite what I expected.”
Kayla raised her eyebrows at him. “What did you expect?”
“I don’t know. You talked about them being best friends and Sandy being forthright on feminist issues, so I figured she’d be more of a tomboy.”
“You mean a kid with no chest, wearing jeans and a striped T-shirt?” Yet instead of being annoyed that Jackson had pigeonholed Sandy based on a few innocent comments, Kayla thought it was funny. A whole lot of things were getting turned upside down for him.
“Yeah, I suppose. It’s just that Sandy is smart and pretty and I...uh...it looks as if she and Alex could become more than buddies.”
“That’s no secret, except maybe to them.”
“Well, I know you must have discussed the facts of life with Alex, but maybe I should say something as his father.”
A smile tugged at her mouth. “Or maybe not. While you’re getting along better, I doubt either one of you is ready for that. But don’t worry, I’ve discussed safe sex with Alex and that I hope he waits until he’s older. I’ve also reminded him that protection isn’t always a hundred percent. After all, that’s how he got here.”
“Oh.” A mix of both relief and chagrin filled Jackson’s face. “About that... Maybe I should confess something.
The condoms I used when we were in high school might have been a little old.”
“Excuse me?”
“I sneaked them out of my parents’ bathroom. It didn’t occur to me that they stopped needing condoms when I was eight and Mom had a hysterectomy. They were obviously out-of-date, even if I didn’t realize it at the time. Do you know how hard it is for a teenage boy to buy condoms in a town the size of Schuyler?”
His shamefaced honesty made her grin. “All things considered, I hope you’re using up-to-date protection now.”
“Certainly.” His eyes darkened and a tingle went through her. She knew exactly what he was thinking about.
Tossing her book aside, she jumped to her feet. “How about riding out and bringing a picnic lunch to the kids? I brought sandwiches since this is Flora’s day off.”
“Coward,” he accused softly.
“No, prudent.” She faced him squarely. “I don’t want a repeat of the other day, Jackson. We’re a Montana rancher and a Seattle businesswoman who once made a baby together. Other than that, we don’t much have in common. Our goals and ideas are on opposite poles. So let’s try to be on decent terms for Alex’s sake and leave it at that.”
* * *
JACKSON KNEW KAYLA was right, but his body clamored to make love to her until they were senseless.
Hell, he ought to be running the opposite direction. He’d broken his personal rules because of her—no women at the house, and no sex with a woman who might be looking for a husband. Not that Kayla was on the prowl for a spouse, but she still wasn’t the kind of woman he’d socialized with since his divorce.
“Okay, I’ll put together some things, and then we’ll go,” he said.
“Aren’t we going to carry it ourselves?” Kayla asked when she saw a third animal waiting patiently under a pack.
“This will be easier, and lets us bring extra water and other supplies.”
Riding quickly, they covered the ground to Halloran’s Meadow, where they saw the kids playing in the water.
“Hi, Mom,” DeeDee yelled. “What are you doing here?”
“We brought food,” Kayla called back. “How does a picnic sound?”
“Spectaculous.”
“Spectaculous? That isn’t a bad one,” Jackson murmured to Kayla as they dismounted and tethered their horses.
