“That’s new.”
“But true. An argument would be so much better than the silent treatment. She won’t return my calls. She’s ignored every one of my texts. I don’t know what to do.”
“What have you always done when this happens?”
“I’ve fought with Mel and Ally a thousand times, and we always find a way back to each other. But it’s not the same with Carter. She hasn’t invested a lifetime into our friendship, and if she decides to walk away, then . . . I could lose her forever.”
Dad sat down on the couch next to me, and his hand tapped my knee once. “Let me have it.”
“I feel like I have to choose,” I said, trying to fight tears, but they were effortlessly slipping down my face. “My head keeps telling me that I’m an idiot, that I obviously have to choose my mother and friend over some boy I hardly know. It’s a no-brainer, right? But then, after a matter of days, it breaks my heart to imagine a life without Avery in it, and I’m afraid I’ll only resent Mom and Carter if—”
“Take a breath,” Dad said, scooting closer. “This is all very simple.”
“Please tell me how. How is this simple?”
“I’ll tell you what I told your mother last night. You’re at an age now where you have to take chances, and sometimes that means making mistakes. You’ll never get anywhere in life if you overthink every possible scenario that comes your way, and who are we kidding? That’s not who you are. You’ve never been that person. Trust that impulsive nature of yours, Roz. It hasn’t steered you wrong yet.”
“But what if—”
“Things could go disastrously wrong,” he admitted. “Or they could turn into your biggest dream come true. Life’s too short to live it for everyone else. Live it for yourself. Follow your heart.”
I smirked, because Dad’s advice sounded eerily similar to the advice I’d given Avery. The world’s going to see what they want to see, anyway. So what good does it do to be something you’re not? Be you—the real you, whoever that is . . . own it.
Why had it taken someone else to make me see what I’d known all along? Maybe it was the same reason it’d taken my advice to help push Avery back on track.
Sometimes we needed a little shove in the right direction, because life was just impossible when you tried to do everything on your own.
“Thanks, Dad.” I reached over to hug him.
“So are you still gonna blow off the soup kitchen?”
“I want to go, but—”
“Then go. Start now. Even with the tiniest things. Listen to your heart.”
~
Avery: How does someone burn a turkey?
Avery: How do TWO GROWN MEN burn a turkey?
Avery: Wes thinks he can save the bird.
Avery: He couldn’t.
Avery: Is Delta’s open for Thanksgiving?
I chuckled when I read the series of text messages waiting on my phone. He’d sent them hours ago, and I felt awful for never responding. He’d apologized late last night for the texts he’d missed, not wasting a second to let me know that he’d stayed up late talking with Wes and had left his phone out in the car.
Avery and I were in this weird intermediate place while I worked through all of this confusion and frustration, but he wasn’t in any hurry to stop with his cutesy messages. If nothing else, he wanted to assure me that he wasn’t going anywhere until I told him to back off.
And I could never tell him to back off. I was crazy about the guy.
The soup kitchen was a raging success, as it always was each Thanksgiving.
Even without Mel or Carter working the line, there were still plenty of volunteers to keep the visitors fed. Jasper had driven Ally and I out to Hudson Hollow, and the three of us worked side-by-side for hours, but it wasn’t anything like all the years before.
Mel was gone, shut-in, and keeping to herself. She wasn’t even trying to put on a happy face and pretend she was anything but devastated. The fact that she’d withdrawn from our annual traditions was indicative enough that the latest bout of depression had come on hard and fast, and she didn’t know how else to handle it but to retreat.
It was her first Thanksgiving without Kyle, and come next month, she would have to suffer through the anniversary of his death, yet another Christmas without him, and try to slog through New Year’s the best she knew how. My heart was breaking for my friend, and I didn’t know how to help her—not that I could, even if I had the answers. She was so hell-bent on getting through this on her own.
“I think the whole Avery thing is great,” Ally said, turning from the passenger seat to look back at me. We were on our way home, and Jasper stayed focused on the road. “I talked to Carter last night, and honestly, Roz, I think she just needs some time. She’ll come around.”
“What if she doesn’t?”
“She will,” Jasper said, glancing at me through the rearview mirror. “It’s been one day. Let her sulk for a while, and then she’ll find her way back to you.”
“You think so?”
“I do,” Jasper said. “You guys are her lifeline. She won’t let something like this come between you.”
“Roz,” Ally said. “You like him, and he clearly likes you. You can’t convince yourself you’ve done anything wrong.”
“But haven’t I? I’ve hurt some of the people closest to me. I don’t want to be that girl.”
“Then tell Avery to get lost. Cut him loose. Drop him. Kick him to the curb,” Jasper said, and at his heartless suggestion, my eyes stung with tears. Seeing my reaction, he looked backed to the road and smirked. “I think I’ve made my point.”
Ally nodded. “The people you love are going to have to learn to coexist if they love you, too. Period.”
Jasper pulled up to the house. “I know Carter better than I know myself. Give her some time. Let her come to you.”
“I will,” I said, nodding. “Thanks for the ride.”
“You bet. Keep your chin up.”
“I’ll try. Happy Thanksgiving, guys.”
I waved from the porch, watching as my friends drove away. Completely unready to face what was waiting for me inside, I took a deep breath and turned into the house, hit by the familiar aroma of Thanksgiving dinner.
I couldn’t imagine trying to sit through this holiday meal after the way things had gone lately.
My family didn’t really feel like my family anymore. Dad was suddenly dishing out heartfelt advice. Mom made sure to establish a new dynamic in our relationship—she’d always be a parent first and my friend second.
And Daniel? I wasn’t sure who he was anymore.
“Oh, good, you’re here,” Dad said, passing me a stack of plates as I came into the dining room. “Your mom’s all over the place right now, and I don’t know what I’m doing. Can you set the table so I can finish dinner?”
“Wait, what’s with all the chairs?” I asked, and then I counted the place settings. “Do we have company?”
“Stephen surprised us this afternoon.”
“Stephen’s here?” I looked around the house. “I thought he wasn’t flying home until Christmas?”
“That was the plan,” he said. “But we got a call this morning—said he was on his way in.”
“Where is he?”
“Out back,” he said, but I’d already slammed the plates down and taken off for the back door.
“Big brother!” I yelled, throwing the patio door open. I stopped in my tracks as my eyes fell to the three men seated out on the stone patio, keeping warm by the fire pit.
“Rozzy,” Stephen said, pulling himself up. He threw his arms around me and scooped me into a hug. “I picked up some guests on my way home. Hope you don’t mind.”
“Wes,” I said, smiling down at my brother’s friend. “Avery?”
They both beamed smiles up to me, but I couldn’t help but look back to my brother.
Stephen’s blond hair was a perfect match to mine, and he had Dad’s big blue eyes. He wasn’t much tal
ler than me, not quite as tall as our younger brother, and a few semesters at college had made him a little thicker around the midsection than I’d ever seen him. Whether it was stress or a healthy appetite, he packed on a couple more pounds every time he disappeared to college. But even if he was a slightly heftier version of the guy I’d grown up with, he was definitely the same goofy, fun-loving brother I’d always looked up to.
“How in the world did you talk Mom into letting them stay?” I asked, keeping my voice low so our guests wouldn’t hear.
“She gave me an earful. So I dished it back—told her she was way out of line.”
“You didn’t.”
“And I also mentioned that if I knew my little sister, then I knew she was going to keep seeing Avery with or without anyone’s permission. I think she realized she could get on board and have some idea what’s going on, or she could distance herself and never know.”
“Thank you,” I said, hugging him again, but the embrace was cut short by his rigid retreat backward.
“Wes called last night,” he said, and suddenly I knew the happy reunion was over. We have an important call to make. This is the one and only time I’ll agree that meddling is the right thing to do.
I looked down to the two men still seated at the fire pit, and Stephen swerved into my line of vision.
“He said I needed to come home.”
I looked away, trying to avoid his stare, but Stephen wasn’t having it.
“Roz, why didn’t you call me? Why did I have to get that call from my best friend instead of my little sister?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“He gave me the rundown,” he said, and then Wes and Avery came up to join my brother and me on the deck. They each stood alongside Stephen, and I felt heavily scrutinized. “We’ve taken care of it.”
“Taken care of what?” I asked, shaking my head.
“Daniel’s working for me now,” Wes said, his chest swelling. A weird smile accompanied his confident stance. “I needed some extra hands down at the shop, so your little brother’s going to answer to me for a while.”
“And Mom and Dad are okay with that?” A lot of why I’d kept my job hunt a secret was because they’d never been very supportive of any of their kids having jobs. Let kids be kids, they said all the time. You’ll have plenty of time to work when you’re an adult.
“Oh, they were definitely okay with it once Daniel confessed to what he’d done,” Stephen said.
“He confessed?”
“With a little encouragement,” my brother added, squaring his shoulders. “It was a long, brutal, and emotional afternoon in the Bingham household today, but it’s all on the table. And you’re off the hook. They don’t know that you know anything.”
“But—”
“Mom’s cried all day, and Dad’s trying his best to keep the peace,” Stephen said. “They’re both extremely pissed, and Daniel’s grounded until the end of forever, but this is good. He needed a reality check, and they’ve both agreed that making him work for Wes is the best way to teach him a few valuable lessons.”
“I know this isn’t what you wanted,” Wes said, stepping in. “But we’re family, and we have to look out for each other. Honesty was the only way of getting through this.”
“I mean, that’s all fine and good and all, but Daniel will never make enough money in three months to pay off—”
“It’s already paid,” Stephen said. “Wes took care of it.”
I turned to my brother’s friend. “You paid her off?”
“And Daniel’s going to work off every last dime until his debt is paid,” Wes said. “I’ve made sure he knows it.”
“And I’m sure he’ll appreciate the random drug testing by his employer.” Stephen looked to Wes. “I’m holding you to that, by the way.”
“I’ll keep him in line,” Wes assured us.
“Daniel swears he hasn’t been using since the end of summer when Sara cut off his money supply,” Stephen added. “But we can’t be too careful.”
“Agreed,” Wes said.
“And what about Sara?” I asked. “You’ve just given her the money, and now she gets away with this? How do we know she won’t come back for more?”
“Sara Oliver won’t be a problem,” Wes said. “She may’ve had some dirt on your little brother, but I have more dirt on her.”
“I can’t believe Daniel dated that girl,” Stephen said, disgusted. “Not after what you’ve told me.”
“Dude, I’m sorry,” Wes said. “I didn’t know they were together otherwise I would’ve said something a lot sooner. She’s bad news.”
“Okay, seriously guys, back to Roz. I need answers,” I said, my impatience getting the best of me. “How can you be so sure she won’t say anything?”
Wes snickered. “If she doesn’t want her freshman-year locker-room tryst with the gym teacher to come back and bite her in the ass, she’ll think twice before blackmailing the friends of the senior football player who walked in and saw a little more than he ever wanted to see.”
Wes winced at the memory, but Stephen smiled at their lucky break.
“You’re lying,” I said, cupping my mouth.
“If she comes after any of you again,” Stephen said, “her dirtiest secret becomes public knowledge.”
“You blackmailed the blackmailer?” I asked.
“Hmm,” Wes said, raising his chin. “I suppose we did.”
I stared at the three men, unable to believe all of this was happening.
All along I’d been so angry—so hurt and so convinced that I couldn’t trust anyone. I’d blamed Avery and Sara. I’d even blamed Daniel because he was at the root of all my broken trust. But the fact of the matter was, there were people around me this whole time that I could’ve turned to, but I was too damn blind to see it.
I didn’t think anyone would understand. No one would help me. But how could I possibly believe that? Stephen was my family, and Wes was every bit a part of it, too. We were all in this together, and if not for Avery . . .
I looked to him, and my smile grew wider.
Just like it’d taken a little push from me to help him find his way, it’d taken a little push from him to help me see that my support system had always been there; I just hadn’t trusted myself enough to have faith in the people who loved me.
And somehow, in the strangest of ways, Avery and I had found a way to save each other from our own self-destruction.
“It’s sweet that you were trying to help him,” Stephen said. “Because that’s who you are—just like you took the fall for the broken window I busted when we were kids.”
“Ugh.” I rolled my eyes at the memory. They’d grounded me for weeks because of that.
“Roz, you can’t let your strengths be your faults,” Stephen said. “We’re not kids anymore. We have to be responsible for ourselves now.”
“Good. So you’ll tell Mom you broke the window?” I cracked a smile, in spite of my tears.
“I will,” he promised, looking up to the dark sky. “But for now, we should get inside. There’s a storm coming, and it looks like a bad one.”
Chapter Fifteen
Daniel sulked all through dinner. He wouldn’t look up, didn’t dare make eye contact with anyone. He was pissed that his lies were exposed. He thought he was above the consequences, but he was wrong. Wes was going to make sure my little brother was finally held accountable for all the mistakes he’d made, and he’d gotten the support of the entire family.
Justice isn’t what I’d set out for in the beginning. I’d wanted to spare my family from the truth, and I needed my brother to see the wrong in what he’d done. And while, ultimately, I couldn’t shield my parents from the heartache that came with their disappointment in Daniel, I could finally sleep easier knowing that this nightmare would soon be over. In time, all I could hope was that this would all be a distant memory, and maybe my younger brother would come out of all of this stronger, having
learned something valuable in the process. I just prayed that’s the way this would go, because I couldn’t imagine what would happen if he lost faith.
“Hey, can I steal you for a second?”
Avery snuck up behind me as I cleared the table.
Wes, Stephen, and Dad were all huddled up in the den watching football, and Mom had Daniel slaving over the sink to wash the pile of dirty dishes.
“What’s up?” I asked, and Avery lifted an umbrella.
“Care for a little stroll?”
“Yes, please,” I said, happy to take him up on the offer. I wanted out of the house. Between Daniel’s drama and Mom’s anxiety, the air was thick, and the walls were closing in on me. I needed a breath of fresh air. Leave it to Avery to recognize my desperation to flee.
I abandoned the clean up, grabbed my jacket, and turned out of the house with Avery, stepping under the umbrella he opened to guard us against the steady rain.
“So you burned the turkey?” I asked, setting off down the sidewalk toward the center of town.
“Yeah, we burned the turkey,” he said, and I was taken aback by the seriousness in his tone. I’d expected a cutesy comeback or a witty remark, but Avery didn’t bother.
His dark expression said a lot more than his serious tone. Our walk together wasn’t some ploy to get me out of the house and away from the tension. It was Avery’s way of getting me alone, because there was something he needed to say.
I told myself it was the impending storm that scared me—that I didn’t want to get wet—so I turned myself closer to him beneath the umbrella. But it wasn’t the rumble of thunder or the occasional bolt of lightning that had fear coursing through me. It was the heaviness in the moment that carried such a sense of finality.
When Avery’s arm slid around my waist, I felt his fingers twitch at my side, and sadness wound through me again. I was scared, and he was nervous. And that terrible combination could only mean he was about to say the last thing I wanted to hear.
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