Playing with Shadows

by Sasha L. Miller

  ****

  Corin was woken up by light. It wasn't a lot of light, barely enough to paint the room in a faint glow. He was in Rafferty's room, Corin remembered, flushing when he realized that he and Rafferty were much, much closer than they had been the previous evening. Corin tended to sleep curled up, not sprawled across the bed; Rafferty seemed to do much the same. At some point during the night, however, they'd shifted together, and Corin pressed against Rafferty in a number of places.

  Flushing, Corin froze, not sure what to do. Any sudden moves would wake Rafferty, for sure, and Corin didn't want to do that. He wasn't feeling that strange surge of heat that he had the last two times he'd touched Rafferty, Corin realized. That, more than anything, was odd. Shifting slowly back, Corin rolled over on his back, putting a bare inch between himself and Rafferty despite wanting to shut his eyes and pretend he was curled up with Rafferty.

  Rafferty groaned, reaching up and pulling the blankets higher over his shoulder. He managed to hit Corin's arm with his elbow in the process, and he froze, his eyes snapping open. "Oh."

  Corin smothered a smile, amused by the startled expression on Rafferty's face. "Morning."

  Rafferty grunted, his eyes slipping half closed. He looked like he wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep, but after a moment, he shoved the blankets away, letting cold air sneak under them. He slid out of bed, stumbling a bit, but catching his balance on the bureau.

  "You need to get down to the dining hall before you're missed," Rafferty said, mumbling the words tiredly. "I'll pull you out of dinner tonight to do something for me, and we can do the ceremony then."

  "My roommates will already have noticed I'm gone," Corin said, sliding out of bed and moving to grab his boots. "I won't tell them I was here, though."

  Rafferty nodded, watching Corin for a moment. He had a strange expression on his face, but in the next second it cleared. Corin pulled on his boots quickly, nearly tripping over his feet when he stood before the left one was fully on.

  "Um, I'll see you tonight, then," Corin said, hesitating a moment. Rafferty only nodded though, turning towards his bureau with a clear dismissal. Corin lingered a moment more, then turned and left the room. The hallway was empty, thankfully, and Corin hurried down it, not really wanting to explain what he was doing in there.

  The hallway was much less spooky than it had been the previous night when Rafferty had led him down it just barely before full dark. Sunlight spilled down it from the windows at the main corridor, and it was hard to remember that there were shadow demons and sacrifices and binding ceremonies in the works in the face of the bright, cheerful weather.

  Corin made it downstairs without running into anyone. It was about the time the servants were allowed to leave their rooms. They usually didn't see any of the priests until a while after that. Corin was willing to bet they were still sleeping, taking their time in waking up. He reached the dining room without incident as well. It was half-full, and no one seemed to notice when he slipped in and headed for the sidebar to grab some breakfast.

  Settling in the back corner of the room, Corin started eating that morning's breakfast. It was some sort of tasteless stew, probably leftovers from the previous night's dinner, but it filled Corin's stomach well enough. He was starving, having eaten only Rafferty's dried fruit the previous evening. The dining hall filled slowly, and Corin stifled his nerves. Only Alan and Mavir had likely noticed he hadn't made it to his room, and he didn't think either of them would care enough to make a big deal out of it. They liked ignoring him; Corin liked ignoring them.

  Corin fetched a second bowl of the stew when he'd finished his first and ate it more slowly while he waited for Rafferty and Tennyson to show up and select the people they were going to test that day. Alan gave him a curious look from across the room, elbowing Mavir and gesturing in Corin's direction. Mavir shrugged, apparently unconcerned, and it seemed that was that.

  Stifling a sigh, Corin glanced towards the door when Rafferty and Tennyson entered. Rafferty looked deeply unhappy about something, and Corin frowned, wondering what had happened. Rafferty had been tired that morning, but not upset. Corin set down his half-empty bowl as Rafferty started listing off names. His stomach flipped worriedly, and a knot of dread settled firmly in the pit of his stomach when Rafferty spoke his name, the last of nine people selected.

  Corin's blood ran cold. Rafferty had said he'd keep Corin away from the testing. Why had he been selected? Rafferty wouldn't have changed his mind, not with the plan to do the ceremony later that day. So someone else had picked him—maybe Tennyson? But why? Corin hadn't done anything suspicious, unless staying in Rafferty's room for the night was suspicious. Even then, Corin would have sworn no one had seen him leave.

  Standing, Corin nearly tripped over the bench he'd been sitting on. He picked up his half-full bowl and cup of tea, heading over to the sidebar to deposit them for collection by whomever would be assigned to dishes duty. Then he followed the eight others who had been selected from the room. Rafferty didn't look at him, but he wouldn't want to raise suspicions now.

  He didn't know the names of anyone else in the group. They all looked familiar, but Corin had never been good with names. There were a lot of people who hadn't talked to him, so he'd never got a chance to learn names. The test probably didn't matter, Corin decided. They'd mark him as having a lot of spirit energy, but if their ceremony to bind the demons was anything like Rafferty's, it would take a few days to properly prepare for it.

  At which point, the demons would be bound, and hopefully, they wouldn't kill Corin anyway.

  Tennyson led them to a corner of the monastery where Corin had never been before. Not unusual, Corin wasn't familiar with a lot of the monastery, and one stone wall or stone hall looked a lot like another. The library was a good size, about four times the size of Rafferty's room. Books lined three of the walls, and there was a set of four desks in the center of the room. The tops of three of the desks were completely clear.

  The last desk held stacks of papers, a few books, an ornate lantern, and a single, ripe apple. The apple seemed to glow softly, and the glow faded and strengthened slowly, casting a dark, dark shadow below the apple. Corin swallowed hard, fighting the urge to throw up. He forced himself to step into the room, hiding behind the rest of the servants as Tennyson turned to address them.

  Rafferty frowned at the apple, and Corin hoped he could get away with not touching it. He might actually throw up then, which was a waste of a perfectly adequate breakfast. He also hoped Rafferty wasn't frowning at the apple because it was something different than what he'd told Corin. He'd only said it was a test to sort out who had the most spirit energy.

  He'd also told Corin not to touch the apple. Corin glanced at it again, discomfited all over again that it seemed to be glowing with the same green color he'd seen on the roof. He blinked, and it looked like an ordinary apple again, and the urge to throw up was suddenly much less pressing.

  Corin really, really wanted this to be over already. He was tired of feeling on edge, tired of the way the demons seemed to be playing with him. The circle on the roof, the visits at night, the strange way the apple appeared in the sermon hall and now, the apple's visual fluctuation. He wanted them locked away, tucked back into the shadows where he couldn't sense them.

  "I want all of these books dusted," Tennyson said, gesturing to the walls. "You, clean the desks." Tennyson pointed to a slight girl with a dark braid running halfway down her back. "There are cleaning rags in that corner."

  Corin followed the rest of the group towards the cleaning rags, fishing one out of the bucket without much attention. He watched surreptitiously as the girl crossed to the desks, only belatedly heading towards a bookshelf to make himself look busy. Tennyson was watching the girl like a hawk, his gaze fixed on her every move as she wiped down the empty desks under his eye.

  "You had better move everything," Tennyson said, making it sound as though there would be dire consequenc
es if she didn't.

  Corin started dusting the spines of the books in front of him, trying to make himself look busy while he watched. Rafferty was standing nearby as well, though he was staring at the floor, a thoughtful frown on his face. He was glowing slightly, Corin realized, dropping the book he was holding. He bent quickly to pick it up, wondering what Rafferty was doing.

  It wasn't a green glow, Corin realized, wondering if that had any significance. The circle on Rafferty's bedroom floor hadn't been green either, unlike the apple and the circle on the roof. What did that mean? Was it just because it was Rafferty's energy? Corin shelved the book again, turning in time to see the girl pick up the apple. She wiped down the part of the desk where the apple had sat, then set it back down, apparently unaffected.

  It still looked like a normal apple, Corin noted, pulling another book off the shelf to dust. It hadn't reacted at all, but would it? Corin didn't know. He shelved the book again as Tennyson started shouting at the girl that she was doing it all wrong and ordered her to swap with one of the morons dusting books. She scurried off, and a young man about Corin's age with wheat blond hair and a wide, squashed nose headed over to the desk.

  Corin swallowed and stopped watching. He kept dusting, pretending nothing strange was going on while Tennyson shouted at each of them in turn until finally only Corin was left to try and clean off the desks. Rafferty was still glowing, and Corin wondered why he could see that and no one else seemed to—especially Tennyson, since he was also a priest.

  Crossing the room with no small amount of trepidation, Corin glanced at Tennyson. He was watching Corin as intently as he had everyone before Corin, but there was a bit of a smirk turning his lips that Corin didn't like. He bit his lip, but started cleaning off the desk, shifting papers and books first. He left the apple for last, wiping down around it. He wanted to look at Rafferty, but there was no way Tennyson wouldn't see him do that.

  He also couldn't not pick up the apple. That would be even more suspicious. Taking a deep breath, Corin reached out and wrapped his hand around the apple.

  Nothing happened.

  Corin almost dropped the apple in surprise, but managed to fumble into setting it down. He wiped the spot of desk under it, and then looked up at Tennyson.

  Tennyson wasn't looking at him anymore. He was glaring at Rafferty, who wasn't glowing any longer. Corin glanced between them, and then glanced past them towards the girl who had cleaned the desk first. She shrugged, rolling her eyes before turning back to the bookcase she was working on. It was such a normal reaction that Corin almost laughed.

  "Move everything to another desk and start again," Tennyson snapped, making Corin jump and drop his rag.

  Corin nodded, not willing to argue with that tone of voice. Not that he would have argued in any case; it would have been suspicious to argue with a priest, even if he was asking Corin to do something stupid like clean a desk for the twentieth time that week.

  Starting with the papers and books, Corin slowly moved everything from one desk to another, creating neat stacks and arranging everything just so, before finally turning back to the desk for the apple. Nothing had happened before, so nothing should happen again, right? Rafferty wasn't glowing anymore, though, and the queasy feeling Corin had felt before had come back.

  He couldn't hesitate. If he hesitated, Tennyson would find it odd, and that could jeopardize Rafferty's plan. Corin didn't doubt that Tennyson would assume Rafferty had warned him, since he had to know Rafferty didn't approve of the sacrificing part of binding the demons.

  Corin reached out and picked up the apple for the second time. He barely kept from gasping as a cold, unpleasant shock traveled up his arm. He fumbled the apple again, and it tumbled from his grasp. It rolled across the top of the desk to fall at Tennyson's feet. Corin's entire arm felt numb, and he shook it. His heart raced, and he looked up at Tennyson, unsurprised to see a look of smug satisfaction on Tennyson's face.

  "Clean off the desk," Tennyson said, leaning down to pick up the apple. He didn't seem to suffer the same reaction Corin had, handling it as though it were nothing but a real apple. It was glowing faintly green again, and Corin really, really wanted to throw up and cut off his arm and be anywhere but standing in this room with Tennyson and who knew how many demons, all out for his blood.

  Moving stiffly, Corin wiped down the surface of the desk, then stepped back, waiting for something more from Tennyson.

  "Good enough," Tennyson said after a moment of inspection. Purely for show, Corin was sure of it. "You're all dismissed. Get back to your regular duties."

  Corin hesitated before turning away from the desk and heading across the room to deposit his rag into the bucket where he'd gotten it. It tumbled from his nerveless fingers, falling in among the other rags, and Corin wanted to go find someplace to hide away, someplace bright and warm and quiet and alone. If he hadn't known about the apple, if it weren't for Rafferty, he seriously contemplate running away from the monastery, consequences be damned.

  "Rafferty, a word," Tennyson said, his voice cutting through the chatter around Corin. He didn't sound happy, and Corin turned, unable not to. Rafferty was halfway to the door, and Tennyson was scowling at his back.

  Corin hesitated, but there was nothing he could gain by staying, for either Rafferty or himself. Rafferty nodded sharply, turning back towards Tennyson. He caught Corin's eye as he turned, but he didn't pause, looking determined and not at all worried.

  He could handle Tennyson, Corin decided, filing out of the room with the rest of the servants. Rafferty wasn't stupid; he had to know Tennyson wasn't happy, that whatever blocking he'd tried to do had been found out, that Tennyson knew Corin was the best one for a sacrifice. He'd figure something out; all Corin had to do was stay clear of it and not drink the wine.

  Knowing that and feeling it were two different things, however. Corin's stomach still wouldn't settle, and he had the uncomfortable feeling that someone was watching him, even after he left the library and headed back to the main parts of the monastery. Taking a deep breath to try and dispel the sensation, Corin wished fervently that the day would pass quickly, and he could get the ceremony done with and go back to feeling normal again.