Miss Wayne and the Queens of DC (The Cartel Publications Presents)

by Styles, T.

  “Bitch, you were there!” He says pulling his shirt down. “Them queens stomped me out and fucked up my boob and face job. Now I got to pay Miss Tracey to put in my silicone injections again.” He continues driving down the road. “But before we do all that, I got to stop up the street and meet my new boo. He ‘spose to be given me some money.”

  “Now?”

  “Yeah…it’ll only take a second.”

  When we pulled in front of an old apartment building

  in DC, I ask, “How you gonna know it’s him when you see him?” “I told him what car I’m driving. And he said he’s driving a black Capri.”

  Garisha stands outside of the car to wait on her blind date and I think about my living situation. I need to get some cash to get a place to live quick. Too much is happening to me lately and I don’t’ even know why. I’m a good person, I mean, what the fuck!

  “Here he comes.” She says excitedly.

  The black Capri slows down by her car and soon as the dude rolls down the window and sees her face, he presses the gas and speeds off. The back of the car swerves a little. He got away so fast smoke was blown in her face. Garisha runs behind him and says, “Wait! Wait! I want to talk to you!”

  “Garisha get your ugly ass into this car and come on! That boy is gone!”

  She sadly walks back to the car and I do all I can to not laugh in her face. Miss Wayne once said the only person uglier than me is Garisha, and he was right. That’s why I hang with her all the time. She makes me look like Beyonce in comparison.

  “Damn, he must didn’t know it was me.” She says getting into the car.

  “Garisha you can’t be that stupid! That boy knew it was you and was not tryin’ to be bothered.”

  “Man! I need to get my face fixed back!” She says driving down the road. “And I don’t have enough money.”

  “Wait, someone implanted them lopsided lips you had in your face and chest on purpose?”

  “Girl, yes! You didn’t think I was born looking that beautiful did you? Had my face been fixed he woulda stayed.” She say hitting the steering wheel. “Anyway I wanted you to go with me so you can drive me home when we leave. Seeing as though it’s your fault I’m all fucked up.”

  Damn! I hate driving, not to mention the fact that I didn’t have a license and couldn’t read the signs on the road. Hopefully the place we were going wouldn’t be too far and I could find my way back.

  “My fault…how you figure?”

  “Had you not seduced me into your bullshit, I wouldn’tve had to get fixed back up. I mean really, Miss Tyrone, take some responsibility for your shit. You stood up there and lied like shit in front of Queen Paul! What kind of shenanigans is that? I’m ‘spose to be your friend.”

  “Miss me with all that shit. It was every man for him self and you would’ve done the same shit to me. Hell, you have done the same shit me!”

  “What you talkin’ ‘bout?”

  “What about that time them stick boys came into the store we was in to rob it? You saw them comin’ and ain’t so much as tap me on my shoulders to let me know. Matta fact, you rolled out and I got robbed and had to find a way home. So please! Are we Thelma and Louise? No! It just is what it is.”

  “Miss you wit’ nothing…and where’s my half of the money anyway?”

  “What? Miss Wayne took that shit back the moment I got home…you know that.”

  “Girl I’m so over you,” Garisha whines. “You as worthless as two left shoes.”

  “And you as ugly as my mother’s wrinkled black pussy!”

  Garisha parks his car in front of an office building in Lanham Maryland. Good, I know where we are and how to get back to her place from here.

  “You tried it, but I still want my half of the money because even though we didn’t finish the job on Queen Paul, I still got my ass kicked like I put in work.”

  We entered the building and then an elevator and he says, “Hit the button for the basement.”

  I stare at the words confused on which one to touch and the doors remain open. I can’t read any of this shit.

  “Bitch hit the floor!”

  “You know what, do it yourself!” I tell him. “I’m sick of your attitude.”

  “Sometimes you act like you can’t read or somethin’!” he tells me.

  When Garisha hits the button to the basement floor I say, “Fuck all that! Like I was sayin’, we both were victims the other day and I don’t owe you shit.”

  “Hag I’m not tryin’ to hear all that! How I’m supposed to land a husband with a face like this?”

  “You gotta ask your mama all that?”

  “Bitch, don’t talk about my mother! You know Miss Charlene been gone for ages.”

  As we continue with bullshit talk, I observe where we were. The basement looks dirty and dark, like an ugly secret went on down here. When we walked into the doctor’s office, twenty transvestites were present waiting on their procedure. Garisha signed her name on the list and waited beside the rest of them.

  “How long you been doin' this?” I ask looking around.

  “For a couple of years, why?”

  “Is it expensive?”

  “It depends…he charges $800 dollars for a cup of silicone and I usually get about a half of cup to a cup in my cheeks and lips alone. I’m only gonna work on my face today though ‘cause thanks to you, I can’t afford to get my breasts fixed.”

  “Bitch, thanks to Batman who got the fuck outta dodge when he saw your face! Anyway, them mangy couple dollars Wayne gave me wouldn’tve been nothin’ but piss in a cup.”

  “Every little bit helps,” Garisha continues. “Anyway, why you wanna know about how long I’ve been comin’ here? You thinkin’ ‘bout gettin’ work done or soemthin’?”

  “Fuck no! But look…this shit is illegal right? Ain’t no real doctor injectin’ this shit in ya’ll faces.”

  “What you think? Look where we are.”

  “Have you ever watched him do it?” I ask.

  “Uh…yeah! I’m here all the time.”

  “Where can you buy the silicone from?”

  “Walmart or Home Depot. Why, what you thinking?”

  “I’m thinkin’ for that kind of money, we can change our lives.”

  “How?”

  “Garisha don’t be stupid and ugly! I’m thinkin’ we should do this shit ourselves. It ain’t like the person doin’ you got a license or nothin’. We can stack up on the money we bring in if we start our own operation.”

  “Bitch is you smokin’?”

  “I’m serious!”

  “Me too. And have you forgotten that we don’t have the money for start up or to buy supplies? Not to mention we need a place to do the shit at. I live on the floor of Mr. Howard’s convenience store at night and he barely wants me there.” He pauses. “And what about this, I may have seen them do me, but it don’t mean I know how to do nobody else.”

  “If I come up with the place for us to do the work and get the cash, can you buy what we need?”

  “Yeah…I guess so.”

  “Well I’ll get the money.”

  “Aw, shit! I guess we ‘bout to make a little change!” Garisha cheered.

  “Don’t fuck me over with this. I’m not the one. When I get the money it’s for supplies only.”

  “Girl ain’t nobody trying to fuck you over. If anything you don’t fuck me over. Come up with the cash and I’m in there. And now that I think about it, Miss P who be workin’ the stroll over off New York avenue will show us exactly how to do the shit. We just got to pay her a hundred dollars.”

  “Set it up! And I’ll get the money.”

  “If we do this right, we gonna be rich boots!”

  An Unreasonable Request

  jmiss wayneL

  “Why are you pullin’ this shit on me right now? We got a house full of people out there and you askin’ for favors?” I ask Tyrone, as I replace the empty liquor bottles on the table with new ones. The mere sight of hi
m disgusts me.

  I still hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to Adrian because he left for a couple of days to visit his cousin in Baltimore. But now that he was back home, I couldn’t wait for the party to be over so we could talk about what Chris told me when we were alone.

  “Because you said I have to go. So I gotta earn some money to take care of myself otherwise I’ma be out on the streets, Wayne. You know you still love me even if you mad. I mean, we were friends. So I’m askin’ for help.”

  As he’s talking to me, I get a flash of him being on top of me again. That vision comes to my mind every now and again but I never know why. What is this vision that is obviously trying to make itself known?

  “I don’t see how that’s my problem. I gave you three weeks so as far as I’m concerned, I’ve done enough.”

  “It’s not your problem. But can you please let me earn a couple of extra dollars on the night we have our parties by bringin’ in my own clients. I’ll even make sure that they pay you something at the door. And it’s only for three weeks and after that, I’m gone anyway.”

  I know this fish is up to something…but what?

  “You can bring in no more than two clients on party night. Mind you, this ain’t got shit to do with our regularly scheduled guests. And they still have to pay $100.00 at the door but you can keep the rest to yourself. Cool?”

  “Yes! Thank you so much, Wayne.” He says hugging me.

  “Girl move! With them underarms as strong as a backed up toilet bowel.”

  “You won’t regret this I promise!” he says hopping away.

  Just what is this bitch up to? I was still conducting a mental investigation when my phone rang. It’s Parade and she’s probably calling to give me an update on Miss Daffany’s condition, which had worsened since last we spoke. And although I was sending the money I earned from the parties to pay all of her health and living expenses, she was still depressed.

  “Hey, Parade. How’s Daffany?”

  “Miss Wayne, I need you to sit down,” as she’s talking to me, the fireman who saved Adrian from the fire walks inside my house. And since you had to RSVP to even attend our party, I was surprised to see his face. I had a feeling he was gay and this may prove it.

  “Miss Wayne, look who I ran into at the store,” Adrian says. “He says he had been trying to find you.”

  I smile and say, “Give me a second. I’m on a call.” My heart flutters wildly and I can’t wait to talk to him.

  “Miss Wayne…I really need you to sit down,” Parade repeats.

  “I can’t sit down, girl. I have a lot of stuff going on over here. We’re entertaining and I gotta make this money for me and Daffany.”

  “Miss Wayne…please…for me.” Parade continues.

  I stop what I’m doing and my eyes focus on the fireman again. “What is it, Parade? Just say it.”

  “Daffany’s dead.” I can’t feel my legs. I can’t feel my feet. Total blackness

  Reflecting On The Younger Years Miss Wayne

  “Can ya’ll believe we’re in high school?” Wayne asked Daffany, Parade and Sky, as they sit on his floor by the Christmas tree. “It seems like yesterday I just met you all in elementary.”

  “I know…and I don’t know what I would do without you guys.” Parade said looking at all of them. “Truthfully, you’re all the family I got.”

  The friends hug each other.

  “So…let’s get down to exchanging Christmas gifts,” Sky said. “Me first since I had Wayne’s name.” “I knew you pulled my name out of that bag. You

  tried to lie to me when I asked you.”

  “Yes and I was surprised you bought my bullshit too.

  Usually you do a good job of reading me.” She giggled. Wayne grabbed the gift and said, “Well thank you,

  dahling!”

  When he opened the green and red Christmas paper

  and saw his first Gucci wallet, he almost shit himself. “Oh my gawd! You got me the wallet I wanted to

  match my red leather purse! Thank you, Sky!” he said

  embracing her.

  “Open the wallet up!”

  Wayne opened the wallet and revealed two hundred

  dollar bills, “Miss Sky, you betta work it bitch! This

  Christmas is off the chain already!”

  “No problem, sweetie,” she said blowing him a kiss.

  “You don’t ‘spose to give nobody a wallet or purse without money in it.”

  “And it got a nerve to be Gucci!”

  “Come on…you know my peoples got it like that so it

  ain’t a thing.” She said bragging a little.

  “Wayne! Who in there with you?!” Marbel yelled

  from the bedroom, interrupting their moment.

  Without waiting on his answer, she walked into the

  living room butt ass naked. Wayne hopped off the floor

  and covered her up with his body, trying to push her back

  into the room.

  “Mama, you ain’t got no clothes on. You got to go in

  the room.”

  Parade and them looked at the scene.

  “Don’t worry, ‘bout all that! Who the fuck is in my

  house?”

  “It’s Parade and them. Remember I told you earlier

  they were comin’ over, ma?”

  “Hi, Miss Marbel,” they said.

  “Ya’ll betta announce ya’ll selves next time!” she

  said walking around Wayne, her titties hanging like two

  saddle bags.

  “Ma it’s just my friends…please.”

  “Oh…well I don’t care who they are, if I ask you a

  question mothafucka answer it!”

  “Yes, ma.”

  Now that her memory had gotten worse, she became

  defensive when she couldn’t remember things. Every day

  was a struggle and Wayne was starting to despise her. When he finally got her into her bedroom an eerie silence filled their space.

  “What’s wrong with Miss Marbel? She ain’t the

  same no more.” Asked Sky.

  “Ain’t nothin’wrong with her…she just gettin’ old.” “You okay?” Sky asked.

  “Yeah…I’m cool.” He said forging a smile. “Let’s

  get on with the gift givin’.” He said. “Now…it’s my turn

  to give a gift, and I pulled Daffany’s name.” He held the

  gift in his hands, handing it to her.

  Daffany looked hesitantly at Parade and then at the

  purple and gold wrapped package.

  “Wait guys,” Parade said softly, “Me and Daffany

  want to tell you something first. We couldn’t come up

  with the money for your gifts. Things are still bad at our

  houses and we’re sorry. We tried to get the money to get

  somethin’ for ya’ll all the way up ‘til today. It just didn’t

  work. So it’s not fair that we take gifts from you.” “Yeah…I wouldn’t feel right,” Daffany added, her

  head hung low.

  Miss Wayne and Sky looked at each other and smiled. “We know ya’ll couldn’t make it happen and it’s not

  your fault. But we still got you somethin’ anyway.” Miss

  Wayne said. “We don’t care nothin’ about all that.” “But you were just hype because Sky got you a Gucci

  wallet,” Said Parade.

  “Right! That bitch got it like that so I expect nothin’

  but the best from the cunt. But it don’t take nothin’ from

  what we already know is goin’ on at your crib. It’s

  cool…and we still want you to have the gifts.”

  “But why?” asked Daffany.

  “We’re friends, Daffany! Enough with the questions.

  So…this is from me,” Sky said handing a gift to Parade. “And this is from me,” Miss Wayne said handing the

  gift to Daffany again.

  “Open them
up,” Sky said when she saw sadness still

  covered their faces.

  “Listen, stop being pitiful,” Miss Wayne told them.

  “It’s cool. Don’t let your peoples take away the day that

  belongs to us. My mother just walked in here bare ass

  naked and I’m fine.”

  They laugh. “So no worries right now,” he continued. “That shit will be waiting for you when you go back

  home, for now, be happy.”

  Daffany looked at Parade and they both hugged

  Wayne and Sky. When Parade opened her gift, she

  couldn’t believe she was staring at a brand new pair of

  diamond stud earrings.

  “Are these…are these….real?”

  “Come on now, don’t play me,” Sky laughed. “What

  you think? I would buy you some fake shit?”

  “I never owned anything like this before.”

  “Now you do.”

  “I love you so much, Sky! Thank you.”

  “Okay, Miss Daffany,” Miss Wayne said, “Open

  yours.”

  Daffany carefully tore the paper off of a small box,

  when she opened it, she saw a heart shaped gold locket

  and chain inside. When she opened the locket, she saw a

  beautiful picture of the four of them smiling in the hallway at school. Their favorite teacher snapped it on the

  day of a field trip to Baltimore.

  Tears streamed down Daffany’s face and she continued to wipe them away.

  “This…is beautiful.” Daffany said. “Thank you so

  much. I’m gonna cherish this for as long as I live.” “I’m glad…and the picture means something to.” “Aw, here comes the sentimental bullshit.” Sky said. “I’m serious. This is not just a locket suga, I put a lot

  of love into this gift idea.”

  “What does it mean, Wayne?” Daffany asked. “It means that I don’t know where our lives will lead

  us. Hell, I don’t even know if we’ll all be alive in ten

  years at all.” They all laughed. “But, I want you to know

  that even in spirit, we can’t be torn apart. Always remember that no matter what happens.”