The Husband List

by Cindy Kirk

  “I’m sure Dr. Sanchez would be happy to show you around,” Dr. John Campbell, Ben’s father and the head of Spring Gulch Orthopedics, said smoothly.

  The man terrified her. Even when she and Ben had been dating, she’d never gotten good vibes from his father. According to Poppy, now Ben’s wife, “John” was a sweet man, a wonderful father-in-law and a loving grandfather. Sweet wasn’t a side of the steely-eyed doctor that Mitzi had ever seen.

  She knew Dr. Campbell wanted Noah to be happy in Jackson Hole. Many of the procedures that could have been done in town had there been a neurosurgeon available as a cosurgeon had been forced to go elsewhere. Now they could retain the business in Jackson Hole and make it easier on patients. A win-win for everyone.

  “I’d be happy to show you around.” Mitzi offered him her brightest smile as Dr. Campbell slipped away, leaving the two of them alone again.

  Before she could say another word, her phone rang. She recognized the ringtone she assigned to her “favorite” contacts. Mitzi offered an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I need to take this.”

  “Understood.”

  Mitzi stepped away, relief flooding her. But when she glanced at the readout, she realized it was Kate calling, not Keenan. “Hey, Ms. No-Show. I thought you were going to be at this shindig. Instead, I’m here all alone. Excluding, of course, the dozens of other people who did show up.”

  “I planned to come,” Kate assured her. “But at the last second some of the Stone Craft employees decided to celebrate Joel’s birthday at Wally’s Place tonight.”

  The popular bar in downtown Jackson had peanuts on every table, a mechanical bull and five-dollar pitchers of beer. Every so often Mitzi had been known to ride the bull and do a little singing on the karaoke stage.

  “I thought Joel’s birthday was Saturday.”

  “It is, but tonight is Burger Night at Wally’s, so the guys decided to celebrate early. It works out best since Joel and I are taking the kids to Yellowstone for the weekend.”

  Mitzi fought the dark cloud forming overhead. First Keenan went MIA. Now her best friend had bailed on her.

  “Actually it’s been a lot of fun so far.” Kate raised her voice to be heard over the music and laughter. “Why don’t you pop over once you’re done there?”

  “I don’t know. It’s been a long day—”

  “Don’t give me that. Besides, Keenan is here. Don’t you want to see him?”

  “Keenan?”

  “Yeah, he got back from Nebraska this afternoon.” Kate’s voice became muffled. “I’d love to play darts. Mitz, I’ve got a dart game calling my name. Come over. Join us.”

  Kate ended the call. Mitzi stood staring at the phone.

  Noah sidled up to her. “Everything okay?”

  The concern in his voice sounded surprisingly genuine.

  “I’m not sure,” Mitzi said. “I’m just not sure.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Though Wally’s Place held a larger-than-normal crowd for a Monday night, Keenan sat alone at the end of the bar until Bill strolled over and confiscated the adjacent stool. His friend now sat silently nursing a beer and munching on peanuts.

  “Did you ever want something so bad it made you feel weak?” Keenan injected a casual tone to his voice at odds with the tension gripping his chest.

  If Bill thought the question strange, it didn’t show. He merely lifted his glass, nodded as he surveyed the amber liquid. “I’ve been there a time or two.”

  That was all he said. Keenan told himself he was relieved Bill didn’t ask any questions. The last thing he wanted to talk about was his troubles with Mitzi. He wasn’t sure why he’d even made the comment.

  After taking a sip of club soda, Keenan gazed around the cowboy bar. It had everything you’d expect: plank floors strewn with peanut shells, pool tables, dartboards and even a mechanical bull.

  Though his mother had preferred the dives farther downtown for her drinking, simply being in a bar brought back memories of all the times she’d dragged him along with her. He’d sit in a dark corner and watch her get louder and meaner with each drink.

  “Joel seems to be enjoying the evening,” Bill commented.

  Keenan turned his head, saw his boss talking with a couple of his construction foremen, his arm looped around his wife’s waist.

  Keenan had seen the look of surprise in Kate’s eyes when he’d walked through the door. As Mitzi’s BFF, no doubt she knew that Mitzi was at the Young Professionals get-together and had assumed he’d be with her.

  The truth was, Keenan hadn’t wanted to face Mitzi. Had he really thought she could love him, would want to be his wife? Mitzi was smart, successful and the most beautiful woman in Jackson Hole. She deserved better than a mutt.

  If Mrs. Van Ness had her way, he’d never get another job flying in Jackson Hole. If that happened he’d never achieve his goal of flying full-time. Never have his own plane. Forget starting a charter service one day. At least not in this town.

  Building a successful career in Jackson Hole with Mitzi by his side had been a pipe dream, spun by a guy who ought to know better.

  “Sometimes you have to let go of dreams,” Keenan murmured.

  “What’s bothering you, son?” Bill’s tone might be matter-of-fact, but a fatherly concern underscored the words.

  Keenan shrugged.

  “Tell me.” Bill spoke quietly, a give-me-no-bull look on his face.

  Deciding he might feel better if he got the incident at the airfield off his chest, Keenan relayed the facts.

  Bill took a long drink of his beer and cracked open another peanut shell.

  “Loretta isn’t usually so unreasonable.” Bill’s expression turned pensive. “But Tony’s accident shook her hard.”

  “Loretta? You know the woman?” Keenan wasn’t sure why he was surprised. Jackson Hole was a cohesive community.

  “Went to school with her youngest brother.” Bill grabbed more peanuts, jiggled them in his hand. “Though she was quite a bit older than Roger, over the years I’ve had more than a passing acquaintance with her.”

  “Well, the way it looks now, Loretta is going to get me canned.”

  “If that happens, it’ll be a bad break,” Bill said quietly. “But something deeper is eating at you.”

  “You’re fishing in a dry pond, buddy.”

  “Let’s talk for a minute about your pretty doctor friend,” Bill continued as if Keenan hadn’t spoken. “Where is Dr. Mitzi this fine evening?”

  “The Young Professionals group is meeting tonight.”

  “Why aren’t you with her?”

  Anger bubbled up inside Keenan, but he kept his voice cool. “Because I’m here.”

  “You asked if I’d ever wanted something so badly it made me weak.” Bill cracked another shell, popped a peanut into his mouth, chewed thoughtfully. “It appears you want Mitzi but for some reason think you can’t have her.”

  “She’s a doctor, Bill,” Keenan snapped. “I’m nothing.”

  A work-hardened hand clamped hard on his biceps. “Don’t ever let me hear something so goddamn foolish come from your mouth again. You have everything to offer that young woman. Everything that matters, anyway. If you’re too scared to take a chance, that’s on you. If you tell her how you feel and she kicks you to the curb, she’s not the one for you.”

  There was fierceness in Bill’s eyes that Keenan hadn’t seen before and a protectiveness that was again almost...fatherly. For a second, Keenan wondered what it would be like to have a dad, but he shook the thought away. What did he know of fathers? His had split before Betsy was born.

  “Kicks me to the curb, eh?” Keenan gave a little laugh. “That’s a great visual. Real encouraging.”

  “You’ve got the mettle to go after your drea
ms, Keenan. Give Mitzi a chance to show she’s the kind of woman who sticks by her man even when he’s down.” Bill took a gulp of beer. “Pick up some flowers on your way. There’s not a woman alive who doesn’t love flowers.”

  * * *

  Mitzi briefly considered stopping at Wally’s Place on her way home from the brewery but at the last second turned her car toward the highway. She refused to run after Keenan.

  I’m not his keeper. I’m not his wife. I’m not even important enough for him to call back.

  The last hurt the most. Mutual respect and consideration had always been at the base of what they shared. That’s why having Keenan ignore her calls didn’t make any sense.

  Had there been any indication of unhappiness last night when they’d talked? Anything she might have missed?

  Recalling the call in vivid detail, her lips curved. No, all indications were they’d both been well pleased when they finally whispered good-night.

  By the time she reached home, Mitzi’s insides were twisty-tied in knots. Too wound up to sit, she flung her purse on the sofa and prowled the room. Bitty watched from atop the sofa, green eyes tracking her every move.

  Mitzi didn’t like feeling so out of control, didn’t like it one bit. The next time she saw Keenan she’d blast him, let him know she wouldn’t tolerate being treated with such disrespect.

  “I am so angry at him, Bitty,” Mitzi told the kitten. “If he showed up now, I might just slam the door in his face.”

  The doorbell rang and as Mitzi crossed to answer, Bitty regarded her thoughtfully through emerald-green eyes.

  * * *

  Keenan held the bouquet of flowers in a death grip. He didn’t know why he’d picked them up. Flowers weren’t his thing. He didn’t give women flowers, not since he was ten years old. But this was different. Mitzi was different.

  When he left Just Blooms, he had every intention of confessing his love and asking Mitzi to marry him. He would put his heart out there and let her decide. But with each passing mile, Keenan realized it would be wrong to put her in that position. Regardless of what Bill thought, Mitzi deserved better than him.

  Her husband list had been carefully constructed, drawn to include all the characteristics that made up the man of her dreams.

  He hadn’t even made the top ten.

  For a while, he’d thought if she was willing to give him a chance, he’d work hard and be the successful man she deserved. But if Mrs. Van Ness had her way, he’d have to leave Jackson Hole to build that successful aviation career. Trouble was, he wanted to stay.

  He’d spent too many years away already. He wanted to watch his nephew grow up and spend time with his sister and friends. He could build a comfortable life here, but without being able to fly, he couldn’t soar.

  The door swung open and there she stood, the woman he loved.

  But instead of a welcoming smile, her lips formed a grim line. Her eyes flashed blue fire. Then her gaze dropped to the flowers.

  His stomach roiled as a long-buried memory from the past hit him with the force of a sledgehammer. Long ago, he had given a woman flowers. Or tried to...

  Keenan thrust the flowers out stiff-armed. “These are for you.”

  She stared at the orange and red roses mixed with a handful of lilies. For one heartbeat. Then two.

  When she took a deep breath, Keenan braced himself.

  “These are lovely. Thank you.” Mitzi looked up then. She cleared her throat and motioned him inside. “Let me get these in water.”

  Keenan expelled the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding and followed her into the kitchen. On the way, Bitty jumped down from the sofa and padded after him. He took a seat on one of the barstools and watched Mitzi arrange the flowers in a clear glass vase.

  Even dressed simply in black knit pants and a fluffy blue sweater, Mitzi was the most beautiful woman he’d ever known. Yet, it wasn’t simply her outer beauty that captivated him. She was just as lovely on the inside.

  A woman like her deserved a successful man, not one without two nickels to rub together and a shaky future.

  Once the flowers had been arranged to her apparent satisfaction, Mitzi turned to face him. She rested her back against the granite countertop and met his gaze. The blue eyes that had been stormy when she’d opened the door were now calm as glass. “We need to talk.”

  He nodded, gathering his storming emotions close. He thought he’d been prepared. But he hadn’t taken into account this intense desire—this need—for her and the life they’d begun to build together.

  He’d known better than to let himself believe someone so wonderful could be his, yet he realized he’d let himself hope.

  Now he had to convince her he didn’t care. A nearly impossible feat, considering he’d never wanted anyone as much as he wanted her.

  It’s not about you, Keenan reminded himself. It was about what was best for her, for the woman he loved.

  “I don’t understand,” she began, “why you didn’t return my calls. I was worried. Why did I have to learn from Kate that you were at Wally’s celebrating Joel’s birthday?”

  Her tone was reasonable, but her imploring look sliced like a knife. Blood seeped from the fresh gash in his heart. Make it quick, he told himself. “Time got away from me.”

  Her jaw lifted as her gaze skewered him. “Why didn’t you call?”

  He lifted a shoulder in a careless shrug. “I got tied up with some things.”

  She hissed out a breath.

  “So tied up you couldn’t answer your phone?” The control on her voice snapped. “So tied up you couldn’t call me back?”

  While he might yearn to rush to her, to gather her in his arms, to apologize for his thoughtless behavior, he couldn’t allow any crack to mar the insolent facade he’d affected. She must believe he didn’t care.

  Keenan stayed seated and shrugged again.

  “When you love someone, you owe them consideration, you—”

  “Who said anything about love?” Though Keenan’s heart slammed against his ribs, his tone was slightly bored.

  “I did.” Mitzi took a deep breath, lifted her chin, met his gaze. “I’m in love with you, Keenan. I’ve known it for some time, but wasn’t sure how to tell you.”

  Joy leapt but he tamped it down and merely continued to stare.

  Mitzi gave a little laugh. “Ah, this is your cue to say you love me, too.”

  The words churned inside him, but Keenan kept his lips clamped tight. He would show her how much he loved her...by letting her go.

  He rose on legs that trembled. “I enjoyed spending time with you but love wasn’t part of the deal. Only friendship. Remember?”

  “Friends? That’s all I was to you? All I am to you?” Her voice rose and cracked.

  “I never had a better friend than you.” The stampede of emotion welling up inside him clogged his voice. Kennan knew if he said more, he’d give himself away. Still, he leaned over and clumsily pressed his lips to her forehead. “Goodbye, Mitzi.”

  Without looking back, he strode out the door and felt his heart split in two.

  * * *

  For Mitzi, the next few days were a blur. She worked hard, thankful for a busy surgery schedule and heavy patient load. She did her duty and showed Noah around town. He was a nice guy but when he asked if he could take her to dinner as a thank-you, she declined.

  Her chest ached with a cold, dry pain that made her feel numb inside. Keenan hadn’t simply been a part of her life, he’d been her life. How would she go on without him?

  For so many years she’d fought hard to get what she wanted. Her hard work and determination had paid off. She was a successful physician with a promising career. She had friends. But the life that had once seemed so rich and full, now felt hollow and empty.


  She wanted more than a successful career and a comfortable life. She wanted love. Keenan’s love. She wanted to share her life with him, to have his babies, to grow old with him.

  The only problem was he didn’t want her in the same way.

  Mitzi glanced at the red dress lying across the bed. She’d purchased it weeks ago in anticipation of the awards ceremony at the Spring Gulch Country Club. When she’d tried it on, she’d envisioned accepting the award then going home and having the man she loved peel the sexy form-fitting cocktail dress off her, inch by inch.

  He’d tease, she’d offer a scathing reply and they’d laugh, caught up in the conversational byplay they both enjoyed so much. They’d been perfectly matched. Or so she’d thought. Now he was out of her life.

  She straightened her shoulders, thankful Keenan wouldn’t be at the event tonight. Mitzi knew it was going to take all the strength she possessed simply to get through the evening.

  But she would do it.

  She had no other choice.

  Chapter Twenty

  Even when the walls of his boardinghouse room closed in around Keenan, he couldn’t summon the energy to leave. The past three days had been hell. He’d gone to work and come home. That was the best he could manage to do. Now it was the weekend and he didn’t have to go anywhere.

  He hadn’t heard from Steve. The logical conclusion was that his conversation with Mrs. Van Ness had gone as expected. Keenan was out. Steve just hadn’t decided how to break the news to him.

  Keenan had once thought flying was his whole world. He’d been wrong. Mitzi was his world.

  Though he’d been physically alone in that motel room in Nebraska, Mitzi had still been with him. He’d known when he returned to Jackson Hole, she’d be waiting.

  Not anymore.

  He’d made the right choice. She deserved better than a mutt without a pot to pee in. A nobody. Though she hadn’t personally stomped on his heart, it had ended up bruised and battered all the same.

  A knock sounded, followed quickly by another, more forceful one. Keenan frowned. He wasn’t expecting anyone.