Where the Fruit Falls

by Karen Wyld

  ‘Mumma, can we?’

  Brigid looked at Maggie, realising she’d missed hearing something.

  Victoria said to her sister, ‘Mum’s too busy. Maybe just us?’ ‘I’m sure your mother can find time. Next Saturday, perhaps?’ suggested Gabriel.

  ‘What?’

  ‘A film, mother. Gabriel has asked us all to go to the cinema with him,’ said Victoria. ‘You don’t have to come if you’re too busy.’

  ‘That sounds like fun. Gabriel, it would have to be a Sunday, if you don’t mind. I have one off every fortnight.’

  ‘So a fortnight from today?’

  She nodded. ‘Shall we meet in town, for the matinee?’

  ‘Okay. I’ll ask my boss if I can borrow the truck, to drive you home.’

  Maggie clapped her hands in excitement. She’d never seen a film before. The other children at school talked about them all the time. She couldn’t wait. Victoria was quietly looking forward to going. The current film screening was a musical from a few years ago: a cartoon about a boy who lives in the jungle with animals that can talk. She’d stared wistfully at the poster, whenever she walked past the cinema on the way home from school. The boy character had skin similar to hers. She couldn’t believe such a film would be popular, given how much the other children taunted her at school. Victoria had felt she really need to see that film, but hadn’t asked her mother, as she knew money was tight. Now they were all going, with Gabriel. Which made it even more special for her.

  Brigid took another look at the girls, to make sure they were really asleep, then left. She carried the two cups behind the cottage, where Gabriel was waiting. He was sitting on a thick wooden bench, watching moonlight dance on the water’s surface. He’d taken a liking to that dam, even more so when he discovered it contained both trout and yabbies. A few days earlier, Gabriel had used his boss’s truck to deliver slabs of wood. With the help of a friend, he’d made a bench behind the cottage, overlooking the dam. He had plans to fix up the old pier next. Brigid handed him a mug of tea.

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘The moon is bright tonight.’

  ‘Unna,’ he said, taking a sip.

  ‘What?’

  ‘What what?’

  She laughed. ‘What’s that word mean?’

  ‘Unna? It can mean a lot of things, depending how you say it. Such as: yes; ain’t it; I’m listening; cool; not gammon.’

  ‘Gammon?’

  ‘You don’t know that one, either? It means when someone or something is false; a lie, or some trickery. You know, like pulling someone’s leg. Or it can mean someone is tooting their own horn.’

  Brigid nodded, and took a sip. She liked the stillness of the night, and being with him. In a short time, they’d become close friends.

  He turned to her. ‘Hey, how come you don’t know those words? And same with other blackfella words I’ve used? I know there’s different languages all over, but a lot of lingo has spread across the continent, amongst mob.’

  ‘I probably heard some when I lived with my nana Vic and grandfather Albert. I just didn’t pay attention. A lot of the time, I didn’t know what people were saying. Most knew English as a second language, some only spoke in their language.’

  ‘Your language too.’

  ‘Not really. I was born out there, but didn’t grow up there. My father was a black digger, and he died overseas when I was three. I didn’t see that side of my family again until I was nineteen, when the twins were born. I grew up with my granny Maeve and mother. Margaret, my mother, remarried a white guy, and they had three boys. I was the odd one out at home. Same with school; the only black child there.’

  ‘Was there no mob around?’

  Brigid was about to say no, then she remembered: friendly faces who had often tried to talk to her, before Granny told them to stay away from her granddaughter. The nice woman who asked if she was okay, after children pushed Brigid into a mud puddle on the walk home from school. That woman had called her bub. That felt nice. Children, similar-looking to her, would hide in the apple orchard, waiting for her to come out and play. Granny had shooed them away, and told Brigid to stay away from them. She’d told Brigid that she might look like them, but she was not like them.

  ‘My family, the one I grew up with, I guess they didn’t approve of me talking with other Aboriginal people. Not even children.’

  ‘Shame. What about the girls’ father? Is he a whitefella too?’

  ‘No. He was taken as a baby, along with his two older brothers. The government put him in a church-run children’s home, where they taught them how to make things and ride horses. His older brothers were sent to work on a cattle station when he was ten. He never saw them again. Him and me, we weren’t together for long. He left me, to go find family.’

  ‘He left you alone with twins?’

  ‘It wasn’t like that. He didn’t know I was pregnant. I didn’t even know. And it was sort of my fault he left.’

  ‘It’s okay, you don’t need to tell me. Relationships can be hard. And what the government has done to us, and our families, can make things even harder. It never stops. Loss and trauma, generation after generation, it tears us all up inside.’

  Brigid nodded. ‘Maybe one day I’ll be ready to tell you more. If that’s okay?’

  ‘Sure. I’m not planning on leaving any time soon. Not when I’ve got this comfy bench, and a perfect view,’ he said, looking at her.

  Unlike previous afternoons, there were no fish biting that day. They’d all given up quickly. The girls were content playing in Gabriel’s patched-up wooden boat, which was resting safely on the banks of the dam, while their mother and Gabriel talked. Maggie looked at them, sitting close together on the rug, and smiled. She was glad her mother liked Gabriel as much as she did. Victoria also glanced at them, hoping her mother didn’t get in one of her moods. She was doing that more often. Working for von Wolff was upsetting her. This place wasn’t good for any of them, even if they now had Gabriel as a friend. It was obvious Gabriel was doing his best. Nothing is good enough for Mother, thought Victoria. She ruins everything. Then Victoria felt guilty. It wasn’t her mother’s fault. Von Wolff wouldn’t let them leave because of the money their mother borrowed to fix Maggie’s teeth. If she had to blame anyone, it would be him.

  Brigid stood up and gathered their belongings. With a frown, she lifted a corner of the picnic rug. Gabriel picked up a white sock and handed it to her.

  ‘Thanks,’ she said, with a smile. ‘Maggie’s always leaving things behind.’

  ‘Why do you stay?’ asked Gabriel.

  Brigid frowned. ‘We’re leaving now. As soon as I get those girls out of that boat.’

  ‘No, why do you stay here, working for von Wolff. He’s not a good person.’

  ‘Don’t you think I already know that? I’m doing my best to look after my family.’

  ‘What about looking after yourself? You deserve to be happy.’

  ‘You don’t have to pretend. I know you’re repulsed by these scars, like everyone else. Working here is all I deserve.’

  ‘No one deserves to be belittled, to be constantly talked down to. I’ve heard him, seen the way he treats you. You need to get out of here.’

  ‘I can’t, I owe him money. And anyway, I’ve got nowhere to go.’

  ‘All those years of travelling, raising those girls on your own; you can leave, find somewhere better.’

  Brigid sighed, and sat down again. ‘I’m so tired.’

  Gabriel shifted towards her and then stopped. Brigid followed his gaze, and saw Maggie running towards them.

  ‘Mumma, Victoria went in,’ she announced. ‘You told us not to.’

  ‘Since when does your sister do what she’s told?’

  Brigid walked towards the dam, with Maggie following. When they returned, a wet Victoria trailing behind, Brigid noticed Gabriel looking at a piece of paper. Getting closer, she saw it was a photo of a woman and three smiling children.

  ‘Is that
your family?’ Brigid asked.

  Gabriel nodded, before putting the photo in his shirt pocket. Brigid felt a pang. She didn’t know what this feeling was. Jealousy? Surely not. She still loved Daniel. Even if she never saw him again, there would be no one else for her. Gabriel looked her way and his copper-flecked brown eyes flickered.

  ‘My sister and her kids. My niece and nephews. I’ve been missing them lately. She’s not been well,’ Gabriel said.

  Brigid nodded. And felt both a sense of relief and guilt. In the past six months, she’d got close to Gabriel. Closer than she had to anyone in a very long time. Brigid felt as if she could tell him anything and he would never judge her. Instead, he listened. He believed in her. Gabriel was the confidant Brigid had been longing for all her life. She’d just never realised that until now.

  ‘Von Wolff is going into town tomorrow, isn’t he?’

  Brigid nodded. ‘Yes, he usually goes on Tuesdays. And the city most weekends.’

  ‘Can I call on you? While the girls are at school.’

  Brigid laughed. ‘That’s sounds a bit formal. I have a chicken to pluck tomorrow, for von Wolff ’s dinner. If you don’t mind blood and feathers, you can help me.’

  The next day Brigid was trying to catch a chicken when she heard laugher. Hands on hips, she watched Gabriel enter the coop.

  ‘That’s not how you do it,’ he said.

  She stuck her tongue out at him. ‘Bet you can’t do any better.’

  Gabriel reached for the brown chicken that had just eluded Brigid and was catching its breath close by. When it suddenly ran off, wings flapping in panic, Gabriel fell in the dirt. Brigid laughed loudly. He stood up, smiling boyishly at her. By joining forces, they rounded up that chicken and put it in a wooden crate.

  A few hours later, clothes still covered in feathers, they sat behind the stone cottage. Cups of tea in hand, they watched the sun’s reflection on the water in the distance. Brigid felt heat rise from him. She liked the way he smelt. She leant a bit more to her right, touching his side ever so slightly.

  Gabriel said, ‘I need to go away for a while. Nana rang me at work today. My sister and the kids need me.’

  Brigid felt a coldness wash over her. Gabriel noticed her stiffen, and placed a hand gently over hers.

  ‘I’ll be back. Sissy needs to go to the city. Her kidneys are getting worse. So I’m going home to help look after her children. My niece and nephews are a real handful. Too much for my nana to look after. Those boys take after their dad. He was such a risk-taker. He died attempting to jump the river on a motorbike.’

  ‘Your family needs you, I understand. Do you miss them much?’

  He nodded. ‘Sissy and I have always been close. I want to be by her side in the hospital, but she insisted I look after her children. Our youngest brother, Charlie, will go to the city with her. It’s been good to see him step up. Our mother died when he was a bub, and then our father shortly after. So I took on caring for Sissy and Charlie when I was a teenager. Nana helped, of course. It’s only right I go back home, to help out.’

  ‘Of course. Is she real sick?’

  ‘Doctors are hoping a treatment called dialysis will work. And they’ve talked about a kidney transplant. Can you believe that? They can now put someone’s kidney into someone else. Normally that type of care isn’t offered to us mob, but there’s this doctor in the city doing research, and they think Sissy might get into that.’

  ‘Sounds serious. I do hope she’ll be okay, and gets the help she needs.’

  ‘I’ve been real worried about her. I’ve also been worried about you.’

  ‘What for?’

  ‘I want to take you away from here. The girls too.’

  ‘Do you now? And who made you the boss?’

  ‘Brigid, it’s not safe here. You know that. Let me help you.’

  ‘I’ve never needed help before, so what makes you so special?’

  ‘Because I care for you. And your daughters.’

  Brigid got up and took the cups inside. Gabriel followed her. She put the cups in the sink, ignoring him. He took a seat at the table, and waited. Patiently, as always. Brigid peered at him discreetly as she walked past to put the tea cannister back in the cupboard. Not for the first time, she noticed her heart skip a beat. Damn my traitor heart, she thought. Brigid knew she wasn’t the only one to find him attractive. Whenever Stefan went to the city, she’d sneak away from work to visit Gabriel at the timber mill in his lunch break They’d wander down the road and sit with cool drinks outside the general store. She’d seen those white women flutter their eyelashes at him, acting all coy as they walked past him in the street. Brigid had also seen little looks of envy they’d thrown her way. Gabriel seemed only to have eyes for Brigid. She’d stopped comparing him to Daniel a long time ago. It just didn’t seem fair. Both were attractive men. Still, those copper rays in Gabriel’s eyes never failed to draw Brigid in. Damn him, she thought now.

  ‘What are you thinking?’ he asked.

  ‘I’m thinking you’re a fool.’

  ‘Because I want to look after you? Because I care about you?’

  ‘Because you assume I care about you.’

  ‘Leave with me,’ he said.

  ‘We’re not dating, are we?’

  ‘Why do you think I’ve been hanging around here so much? It’s certainly not for the trout in the dam.’

  She blushed. ‘I really like you. I don’t know if I love you.’

  ‘You don’t have to.’

  Brigid shook her head. ‘We can’t be together. Ever.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Aside from the girls, people I love end up leaving me. They disappear, or they die. I’ve had my fill of heartbreak.’

  ‘Everyone has to die someday. It’s what we do with our time on earth that counts. We need to leave footsteps for the next generation to follow, like our ancestors did for us.’ Gabriel closed the small gap between them and wrapped his arms around her. ‘And being brave enough to let love in is part of living.’

  She leant into his chest. She could hear his heartbeat. It was a warmth she’d not experienced for such a long time.

  Brigid felt safe, like she’d found her place of belonging. As she had that moment she’d first seen Daniel. Danny, father of their children. Brigid squeezed out of Gabriel’s arms, putting distance between them.

  ‘No,’ she stated.

  Gabriel looked into Brigid’s eyes and knew why she had said no. He’d felt the other man’s presence come between them on other occasions.

  ‘You can’t wait for him forever.’

  She shook her head. ‘I’ve stopped looking for Daniel. It’s debt that keeps me here. I owe Stefan money, from before Iris died.’

  Gabriel said gently, ‘The offer of leaving here, with me, still stands. You don’t have to love me back. Let me help you as a friend. I can help you find work, so you can repay von Wolff. You don’t have to stay here.’

  Brigid looked up, and gazed into those damn copper-lit eyes. ‘You need to give me just a little more time.’

  ‘Fair enough. I’ll be back, I promise. Until then, I’ll write to you.’

  ‘Mumma, Mumma, another letter,’ shouted Maggie as she opened the door.

  Brigid slowly untied her apron. Victoria frowned. Their mother was looking more exhausted each day. Von Wolff worked her far too hard; she no longer got off early enough to meet them on the road after school. And he was getting meaner.

  Maggie handed the letter to her mother, who opened it. She smiled, then frowned.

  ‘Well,’ asked Maggie. ‘Is he coming back? He’s been gone for months; I miss him.’

  Maggie sat at the kitchen table. Victoria walked over to the stove and added wood. She put the kettle on a hotplate, and fetched the tea leaves.

  ‘Gabriel will be away for a bit longer,’ replied Brigid. ‘His sister has passed away.’

  Maggie stopped smiling. ‘Poor Gabriel. And those kids. The girl is not much younger than V
ictoria and me. I couldn’t imagine losing you, Mumma.’

  Victoria put a cup of tea on the table, in front of her mother. Brigid smiled at her. She was growing up far too quickly. She’d seen too much hardship and trouble in her twelve years. Especially the three years they’d been living in this stone cottage. Brigid knew they’d all had enough of being here. Even Maggie, who was usually so reluctant to travel, was eager to move.

  Victoria said, ‘Is Gabriel ever coming back?’

  ‘Soon. He wrote in the letter that he has things to do there first. Then he’s coming back to work at the timber yard for a bit more, as he needs to save some money. Then he’ll go home, and help raise his niece and nephews. He’s asked us to go with him.’

  ‘To live with him?’ asked Victoria.

  ‘If that’s all right with you, and Maggie.’

  Victoria nodded, while Maggie chattered excitedly about living with Gabriel, and becoming best friends with his niece.

  ‘Put that on,’ he demanded, throwing a bundle of cloth at her.

  Brigid stood up slowly, placing the scrubbing brush in the nearby bucket. She picked up the cloth von Wolff had thrown on the wet kitchen floor she’d been scrubbing. Brigid held it up, and saw it was a garment of rough material. Made from a hessian grain sack, this sleeveless garment could hardly be called a dress. Brigid looked at von Wolff, one eyebrow arched.

  ‘Don’t you be thinking of giving me any of your sass. Put it on.’

  She shook her head. His closed fist hit Brigid’s cheek before she even realised he’d raised it. She fell backwards, then quickly righted herself. Eyes glaring, she was prepared to stand her ground. His hand shot out again, this time grabbing her by the hair.

  ‘Have it your way, then.’

  He pulled her towards the door. Brigid’s scalp ached as she resisted. Kicking the front door open, von Wolff dragged her out, onto the verandah, and pushed her down the stairs.

  ‘Get up, trollop,’ he ordered, walking down after her.

  Brigid sprang up and took a step towards the cottage. Von Wolff grabbed her by a shoulder and yanked hard. Holding her firmly by the shoulder and upper arm, he steered her towards his studio. She tried to wriggle free, so he painfully tightened his grip, and she stopped resisting. When they reached the studio, von Wolff opened the door and threw her inside.