Undercover With the Enemy

by Sharron McClellan

  “On it. Just be careful.”

  “Aren’t I always?” she asked, pumping her body to increase her arc and take her back toward Enzo.

  “We’ll discuss that later.”

  She turned her attention to the task. Focus. She was getting closer now.

  “Hang on,” Kane said in her ear.” I’m going to give him something else to think about besides you.”

  A shot ripped through the air.

  She swung faster now. Flying through the air.

  Kane fired again.

  Enzo fired back, but she fixed her eyes on her target, refusing to be dissuaded by the thought of death by bullet.

  Another shot from below.

  There.

  Her eyes met Enzo’s as she ran into him, knocking him off balance. She wrapped her legs around him before he fell backward. He clutched at her, the combination of her arc and bodyweight pulled him forward, dragging him off the platform.

  For a split second, they floated through the air.

  He didn’t deserve the joy. The freedom.

  She unlocked her legs from around his waist and let him fall mid arc. He clutched at her again, but gravity was stronger. He fell.

  Holly landed on the opposite platform. Alone.

  Below her, the net was gone. A bundle writhed on the ground, wrapped in the material. Enzo. Kane must have cut the net right after he hit.

  Her knees went weak, and she sat on the platform with a thud. Head in her hands. It was over. They were safe. No one else had to die.

  “Holly?”

  Kane said again, but not in her ear this time. Behind her. She raised her head as he kneeled next to her. “Are you all right? Did he hurt you?”

  She shook her head “How’s my mom?”

  “Friendly. And armed. I gave her the other gun for protection.” He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.

  “Thanks,” she replied, taking a deep breath to regain her composure. The Boreckyis always said that breathing was as important as strength when tackling the trapeze. The body needed the oxygen to keep the head clear and combat the flight mode that came with risking one’s life.

  “You could have died,” Kane said.

  Another breath. “But I didn’t,” she said, reassuring herself as well as Kane. “I’m okay. My mom’s okay. And my family is safe.”

  A third, deep breath and the shaking stopped, and the adrenaline slowed. Finally.

  “But you could have,” he insisted.

  Now that she was calm, she heard the fear in his voice. The anger. And she didn’t know what to say to make it better. “But I didn’t,” she repeated, trying to reassure him.

  She felt his shoulders tighten, and she knew she’d missed the mark.

  “You’re a thief. Not combat trained. You can’t do this again,” Kane said. “I won’t let you.”

  She knew he carried the guilt from his lover’s death. That kind of loss left scars.

  But that didn’t mean he got to dictate her life. “I know you’re upset but you’re not my boss so you don’t get to tell me what to do,” she replied.

  Abruptly, he stood. She was sure if the platform were larger, he’d pace.

  Instead he crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m the leader of this op, so yes, that’s exactly what I get to do.”

  And there he was, Kane the Pain. Again. She thought he’d gone away, but it seemed he’d only been hiding. Slowly, she rose to her feet, anger and frustration overriding any residual fear.

  She looked up at him, meeting his anger with hers. “This op is over,” she replied.

  She climbed down the ladder, leaving him on the platform. Alone.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Sitting in her mother’s Winnebago, Holly drank coffee and stared out the window at the thirty-acre, outdoor lot the troupe called home and contemplated how she’d almost lost everything that mattered.

  Her mother. Her family.

  Kane.

  His voice drifted through the window—he’d been talking to the FBI since sunrise. Giving the details of how Enzo killed Tammi Lynn but leaving out the bit about how she broke into a hotel. Not that they cared. They had Enzo in custody and a charge that might stick.

  Coupled with the retrieval of the chip, it seemed to be enough for them.

  “You love him, don’t you?”

  Holly jumped at the words. Her mother stood in the tiny kitchen, hair still damp from her shower and pouring herself a cup of coffee.

  “What?”

  “You can lie to yourself, but I’ll always see through it, Cookie. You know that.”

  “I don’t love him. I think he’s an ass,” she replied, remembering their last confrontation on the platform. And regretting it more than she wanted to admit.

  “You can do both,” her mom countered.

  Holly sighed and rubbed her tired eyes. Her mother was right, damn her. She loved him, but he was such a jerk sometimes. “Should I tell him?”

  “Which part?”

  “Both?”

  Her mother laughed and took a seat across from her. “I would.”

  Holly wished she could be as sure. Now that their mission was well and truly over, he might want to move on. To work with someone who wasn’t as erratic. Perhaps to have a normal girlfriend who didn’t lie and steal for a living.

  Or come a hair’s breadth from getting killed.

  “I don’t know,” she finally replied.

  “I think you do. I know something is holding you back but you need to get over it.”

  Holly leaned back in the seat, letting her head fall back. “My job makes it difficult. If you knew—”

  “Stop.” Sarah slammed her hands on the counter, making Holly jump. She’d never seen her mother angry before. Not like this.

  “I’m not an idiot. The Feds are here. We were chased by a mobster. I know you don’t do makeup for Hollywood films. I don’t know what you do, don’t even know if it’s legal, and I don’t care. This is about love. Not work.”

  Holly stared at her cup. She’d been careful to keep her cover story for her mom. It was part of the job. But she should have known she’d see through it. “You love him,” Sarah said, composure regained and spooning sugar into her cup as if her pronouncement were the most normal thing in the world. “Don’t lose him because you’re too scared to say the words.”

  She was so good at taking risks, but love meant letting someone be important, and she hadn’t done that in a long time. At least no one outside the family.

  Her mother made it sound so easy.

  “I worked with him two years ago for one night. When it comes down to it, I’ve known him less than a week.”

  “Do you think love runs on a timetable? Especially yours?” Sarah laughed. “I knew your father for less than a day when I knew I wanted to marry him. I knew. Like you know about Kane.” She took Holly’s hand in hers. “We’re not that different, you know.”

  “I’ve tried before, and you know how that ended,” Holly said. “I know he feels something for me, but between his baggage and mine, I can’t see this going anywhere.”

  “You can’t fix his baggage,” her mother replied. “But you can fix yours and give this a fighting chance. So spill. What’s this giant amount of baggage that keeps you from love?”

  Crap. What was she supposed to say? Her family was baggage? “Outsiders just don’t get us. They never do. Even you have to admit that.”

  Sarah sighed. “Some do. Some don’t. You have to admit that.”

  Holly rolled her mug between her palms. “I’ve yet to meet the guy who didn’t run once he realized that accepting me meant accepting my family as well. All of you.”

  Sarah frowned. “You can’t live the rest of your life and make decisions because life sucked as a teenager. Now, grow the fuck up.”

  Holly stared, unsure of how to respond. First anger and now swearing. And the F word? “What?” she finally managed to squeak.

  Sarah rose, taking her coffee with
her. “Go talk to Kane.”

  “About what?” he asked, opening the door to the Winnebago. The vehicle rocked as he climbed the few stairs. His eyes were bloodshot, he smelled of sweat and straw, and his clothes needed to be burned.

  She’d take a live, grimy Kane over a dead, perfect one any day of the year.

  But now that the worst was over, did he want her? All of her and what that meant?

  Sarah pushed past him. “Talk to the wuss in the chair.”

  “I’m not a wuss,” Holly muttered as the door slammed shut.

  Kane slid into the seat across from her. She tried to read him and found nothing. No anger. But no joy. Just a blank slate. What did that mean?

  “I have some good news,” he said.

  Work. If that was what he wanted, she’d deal with it. “Enzo’s getting life?”

  “No.” He said. “Tempe called. There’s someone waiting for you back in your apartment.”

  “Who?”

  He reached across the Formica table top and took her hands in his. Her heart felt as if it skipped a beat.

  Stupid heart.

  He continued, “Four legs? Stinky fur? Has a tail that wags the dog?”

  “Mr. Wiggles.” Thanks goodness. “Did the vet say how he was?”

  “Needs some TLC, but your roommate seemed eager to help. She also said to get home as soon as possible, and that she doesn’t pick up poop.”

  Holly snickered. Eva was good people.

  “So, what is it you need to tell me?” Kane asked.

  Was he over whatever had held him back from loving her? If so, maybe she could take a chance as well. She’d avoided love for a long time. Avoided anything real.

  She didn’t want to do that anymore. She wanted the gritty, annoying reality of loving Kane.

  If he’d have her.

  Do it. Just do it.

  “Holly, the cops want to talk to you again if you have a minute,” Alyssa, the bearded lady, stuck her head in the trailer. Though her friend was billed as a bearded lady, she had hypertrichosis, also known as werewolf syndrome.

  She nodded toward her. “I’ll be right out. Just give us a minute.”

  “Sure thing,” Alyssa said before disappearing.

  Holly turned her attention back to Kane and met with his surprised, and somewhat shocked, gaze. She knew that look. She’d seen it every time a date met her family. It wasn’t just Alyssa. It was Fernando. Santos. All the artists.

  Seeing Alyssa had just made Kane realize that her family was different. And she was different.

  And for someone as strict and straight as Kane, all that difference was just too damned much—no matter what her mother wanted to believe.

  The maybe she’d been entertaining turned into a firm, negatory.

  Her heart ached at the reality of the situation, and it took an effort to not press her hand to her chest. But at least she’d been spared the humiliation of declaring her love before he ran. That was new.

  “So, what’s going on?” Kane asked.

  She braced herself with a reminder that if she didn’t do this now, it would only hurt more later. “I wanted you to know how much I appreciated working with you. We’re a good team. And we did some amazing, crazy things.”

  Kane gave her a suspicious side-eye glance. “I hear a ‘but’ coming.”

  Deep breath.

  “But it’s over now, and I think we need to acknowledge that what we had in the field was based on adrenaline and excitement. We’re back in the real world now, and while I appreciated our time together, I think we need to go back to just being friends.”

  Kane’s hands slid from her, and he sat back, staring at her, his face a mask of confusion. “What?”

  “We’re friends. Nothing more and nothing less. Coworkers. I’ve given it a lot of thought, and it’s for the best.”

  Kane shook his head. “I have no idea what’s going on in your head, but we need to talk about this.”

  Holly rose, knowing she couldn’t hold out much longer. “No. We don’t. There’s nothing to say, and I have to go talk to the Feds.” She ran out of the trailer before he could say any more and ruin her resolve.

  …

  “Staring at the phone won’t make it ring,” Sarah said. “Just call him and tell him you made a mistake. He’ll understand.”

  Holly jammed her cell phone back in her pocket and tried to get comfortable on the wooden bench that was just outside the trapeze arena.

  She glanced up at the platforms, backlit by the setting sun. Had it only been two weeks ago that she and Kane had captured Enzo? It both felt like yesterday and years since she almost died.

  Since she last saw Kane.

  As the rest of the troupe sauntered over to the set of bleachers, Holly leaned against her mom, putting her head on the older woman’s shoulder. “I wish I could believe you, but I didn’t make a mistake. You should have seen his face when he saw Alyssa. He was freaked out.”

  “Well, it is startling the first time you see her,” Sarah said.

  “Maybe,” she conceded.

  Her mother patted Holly’s arm. “He seems like a nice man, and I hate to see you make a mistake. Did you ever talk to him about it? About us?”

  What was there to say? She glanced at the group that filled the bleachers. They weren’t performing, but that didn’t stop some of them from dressing in more eccentric outfits that would get stares under more normal circumstances. But here, one could wear either a sequined leotard and feathered headdress or jeans for dinner, and either were considered normal.

  But normal here wasn’t normal in Kane’s world.

  She’d known it was a bad idea to introduce Kane to her mom. They weren’t even a couple, had never been a couple, really, and her mom was still trying to get them back together. Holly straightened. “Can we talk about this later? Right now I just want to forget what happened.” And how much I miss him.

  He mother patted her arm, “Of course, Cookie. I know this is difficult for you.”

  You have no idea.

  The music she knew and loved started. Holly settled in to enjoy it and put Kane out of her mind. Stella and Sylvester emerged from the tent behind their trapeze ring, holding hands but parting when they reached the sawdust to head to opposite ladders.

  The pair reached their platforms, grabbed the bars, and swung outward.

  Holly held her breath as Stella released, did a triple summersault, and seemed to hang in the air.

  Then Sylvester was there, his hands found Stella’s and they flew through the air, arms locked.

  It didn’t matter how many times she saw her friends and family perform, it never grew old, was always astonishing, and she felt like a kid again as the rest of the troupe cheered and clapped around her.

  “They’re spectacular,” Holly whispered as Sylvester did a handstand, released and caught the bar as he fell, never losing momentum.

  “Wait until you see the dogs,” her mother whispered. “The new act is surprising.”

  Finally, Stella and Sylvester jumped down from their platforms, landing in the net, and Fernando jogged out from the kennel where he kept his dogs. Wearing sad clown makeup, a large black wig, and over-sized clown suit, he entered the ring as Stella and Sylvester left. Usually working with small dogs, this time, he brought a large yellow lab that refused to listen, and when Fernando tried to grab his collar, the dog ran in circles under the netting, taunting the trainer.

  Holly squinted into the fading light. “Is that Mr. Wiggles?”

  “Yep,” her mother said, looking pleased.

  “When did you find time to do this?”

  “We didn’t. Not really. As you can tell,” she said, laughing as Fernando dove for the dog and missed. “But you’re gone a lot with work so if you want to leave him here, he needs to earn his keep.”

  Holly hadn’t considered that but it seemed like a good idea. “What about Fernando? Is he okay with this?”

  In reply, her mother whistled, a piecing so
und that cut through the chatter and laughter of the troupe around them. Fernando turned toward the sound and walked over, Mr. Wiggles finally slowing enough to trot at the trainer’s side.

  “What’s the problem?” he asked, his deep voice resonating.

  Holly’s breath caught in her throat. The makeup and hair and suit were Fernando’s, but that voice…she knew that voice.

  And it belonged to Kane.

  The troupe grew silent, and Holly turned in her seat. They were staring at her and holding their collective breath.

  They’d planned this.

  She shook her head. Betrayed by her family. Was nothing sacred?

  Stopping in front of her, Kane slipped off the wig and the oversize clown suit. Someone threw him a towel, and he wiped his face until only a few streaks of makeup remained. He looked once again like the man she couldn’t seem to forget.

  Around her, the crowd whispered.

  Busybodies.

  “What are you doing here?” she managed to ask, the words sticking in her throat.

  “I told you that we needed to talk, and since you refused, I talked to your mother instead.”

  “And she cooked this up?” Holly asked, her cheeks burning with a combination of anger and embarrassment. She knew they thought they were helping, but this was high school and humiliation all over again. Her eyes welled with tears, and she wiped them away.

  “No, we did,” Stella said, emerging from the shadows with Sylvester at her side.

  “We all did,” Alyssa chimed in. “We’re not blind.”

  Great. Just great. Holly stood as the anger overrode mortification. “I appreciate the thought, but I think I can handle my own life.”

  “No one is saying you can’t,” Kane said, kneeling in front of her, “And all I’m asking for is five minutes.”

  Holly rested her head in her hands, wishing they would all just go the hell away. But when she looked up, they were all still there staring at her. She knew if she didn’t give him the five minutes, this would only happen again. “Fine. Five minutes. Now what do you have to say?”

  “That you’re wrong about me,” he said, taking her hand in his.