by Barb Han
At my locker, I scan the hallway for my best friends. Adalynn is nowhere to be found, which is weird. Jax isn’t there, either. He’s not as surprising. Caius should be here by now, though.
Fear strikes me like a bolt of stray lightning on a sunny day. Have they hauled my friends in for questioning?
He finally shows up at the first bell.
I make a beeline toward him. “What’s going on? Have you seen Adalynn?”
He glances around the hallway all weird-like before he opens his mouth to speak. Either he’s totally getting paranoid, or something bad is going on. “No. Why? What’s up?” He’s trying a little too hard to be casual, and that sends all my warning systems into full tilt.
“She’s not at school.” I pull out my AllinOne. “I haven’t heard from her, and it’s not like her.”
He concentrates inside his locker as he shrugs. “Maybe she’s sick today.”
I don’t want to ask him this next question. I know how he feels about my boyfriend, and I don’t want to upset Jax even more. The last thing I want is to hurt my best friend. “Have you seen Caius?”
Jax shoots me a cross look. “Why would I know where he is?” He doesn’t refer to Caius as my boyfriend, ever. I have no idea how I’ve hurt my best friend by going out with Caius…and then it dawns on me. Did Jax think there could be more between us than friendship?
I hope not. He’s good-looking, don’t get me wrong, and I thought about him differently when we first met, but anything else would ruin our friendship, and I need all the friends I can find here. Me, Adalynn, and Jax have been a trio since freshman year, and I don’t want to give either one of them up.
His locker slams shut. The sound vibrates. “I’m sure she’ll turn up. Don’t worry. She probably headed to class early.”
I turn back to her locker. Something is different. “Hey.” I march over. “What’s this?”
Adalynn used to have a picture of some lame retro boyband singer on her locker that Jax had found…but it’s gone. I remember that she’d given me her combination once when she needed me to bring her soccer bag. I grab the dial and spin twice to the right, stopping on the number 7. Left around twice and then stop on number 2. Then, move over to number 5 without an extra spin. The snick of the lock sounds. I’m in.
I open the door. Her locker is empty.
“Jax,” I practically shout, and as I turn around, I realize—rather abruptly—that he’s right behind me because I bump into him. I try to sidestep but he puts his hand up to stop me, trapping me. What the…?
I manage to duck under his arm and spin. Then I feel familiar arms wrap around me. I don’t turn around. It’s Caius.
Jax grunts. “Looks like she moved lockers.”
“Yeah, it does. Why would she do that?” I ask, leaning into Caius’s arms. His hand on me is the first time I feel like my legs won’t give out, that I can make it through the day.
“Hey, Tori, I’ve been worried. You didn’t answer my messages,” he says so quietly that I’m sure Jax doesn’t hear it. I can feel his warm breath on the back of my neck.
The second bell rings.
“I have to go.” My best friend’s jaw muscle is clenched so tight I fear that he might crack his back teeth.
“Let me know if you see Adalynn.”
“You do the same,” he says, and then he finally acknowledges Caius with a curt nod.
“Hey, Jax.” Caius acts completely unaffected by the snub.
I turn to face my boyfriend. Panic grips me, and nausea threatens to empty my stomach the minute our eyes lock. I’m worried again. “I haven’t gotten any messages from you.”
“That’s not good.” His finger traces my lips, and he presses his forehead to mine. “I haven’t been sleeping.”
“Me, either.” I circle my arms around his neck and tangle my fingers together. Honesty feels good. I’m so used to smiling through everything, even with my best friends.
I’m relieved when Caius doesn’t ask how I’m doing. Even more when he doesn’t bring up the competition. He knows. My back is against the cold metal of the locker. He dips down to kiss me. His lips are warm and soft, and he tastes like my favorite peppermint toothpaste.
“What does it feel like to finally lose, Aldridge?” Rhys’s voice is a low sneer behind us. He must be walking with other Legacies because I hear their snickers.
Life is going to be interesting over the next couple of weeks until the halls clear out for summer. Normally, the thought depresses me because the campus is so quiet. This year, I can’t wait for everyone to go away, especially since Caius will be here. I’m sure the school will keep a close eye on us, but we’ll find a way to spend more time together.
He pulls back a little, but I don’t open my eyes until the fourth bell rings.
“Don’t listen to them, Tori. They’re assholes.”
“I know,” I say, but I don’t look at him.
“Can I see you tonight?” That’s when I look at him. Those intense blues waiting for an answer.
“I want to.” He squeezes my hand and then lets go. I glance around the halls as I fast-walk, half expecting increased security. There isn’t. I make a mad dash to class, figuring that I don’t want to do anything else that might draw attention to me.
Adalynn is supposed to be in Chemistry with me. She isn’t. She’s not in second period, either. I’m starting to worry that she knows something about Plankton, and that’s the reason I was dragged in for interrogation. But that can’t be right. Adalynn with a secret about Trevor…? I almost laugh out loud. The two have never met. We weren’t even friends before freshman year.
There’s no way Adalynn would be involved with anything against the rules. She might talk a good game, but she cares about grades and doing well on the soccer team. And why wouldn’t she? Her parents are cool, and they all get along. She has three other siblings at home, and they get along, too, when they’re not fighting over who gets more bathroom time.
I’m still racking my brain trying to figure out what Snyder is talking about. I need to have a private conversation with Jax, except that he looks like he’s about to jump out of his skin every time I look at him. He’s angry with me for dating Caius. I don’t know how to smooth things over. Asking for a favor from him now might not be my smartest move.
This is the first afternoon that I don’t have to take a nap now that the competition is over. No. Don’t go there. Don’t think about how badly I damaged my future. My studio work will wind down in order to allow more time to study for finals. Finals.
A curtain of dread settles around my shoulders, making it feel like I have a ton of bricks that I’m dragging around behind me. I’d barely thought of them in days. They’ll come fast and saying doing poorly is not an option is more than an understatement after what happened at competition yesterday. Seventh. My College Readiness Score tanked. Maybe focusing on finals will give all of us a chance to settle down. But first, I need to know what happened to Adalynn. I have to know that my friend is okay.
I have a free period to study. I’m not supposed to be on the Athletic complex grounds, but I can’t concentrate. Jax is probably right. She’s most likely sick. I can stop freaking out once I confirm. A dark cloud has been hanging over my head with the way we left things.
Imagine my surprise when I run smack into my friend in Ainsley Hall. She jumps back, grips her AllinOne like the piece of technology is the only thing between her and certain death, and stares at me in shock.
“Tori, what are you doing here?”
“Competition’s over.” I glance from Adalynn to Angela, wondering when they started hanging out.
“I’ll catch up,” Adalynn says to Angela, urging her friend to keep moving.
“What happened to your locker?”
She looks like I’ve pelted a soccer ball at her head for a second, and then she just
looks guilty. “My mom thought it best if I moved to a new spot.”
Now I’m the one standing in the goal, facing a firing squad.
“Your mom? I thought she encouraged you to make friends with me in the first place?”
She shrugs.
Maybe her mom hoped some of my magic whatever would rub off on her own daughter. Maybe now that I’m not the golden girl her mother is afraid I’ll drag her daughter down with me. Maybe this sucks so hard I can barely breathe.
“Why’s that?” The question comes out a little more heated than I’d planned. I’m not sure I even want the answer.
“It’s…complicated.” Her shoulders cave. “I’m sorry, Tori. It wasn’t my idea. You know how my mom can be, and she worries about all the gossip going around.”
“What gossip?” I feel like everyone knows more about me than I do. It’s strange, and it sucks.
Adalynn swishes her ponytail. “Nothing. Not like…gossip. You know, people are starting to talk, and she’s worried that it’ll affect my standing here at school. For the record, I don’t agree. I don’t even care.”
At least she threw out that concession. It doesn’t boost my mood.
“I thought we were friends,” I mumble. “Like real friends.”
“We are. I mean, once everything settles down. I’m sure by next year everyone will have forgotten all this,”—she waves her hand and makes a face—“and life can go back to normal. Until then, I don’t have much of a choice. I’m sorry.”
“Since when did you and Angela become besties?” I say the last word sarcastically. I’m letting my hurt get the best of me. I have to stop.
“We’re not,” she quickly defends. “But she’s not, like, a horrible person.”
“Didn’t you say that she couldn’t score if someone else’s shot hit her on the way to the goal?” I ask, but I’m being mean. I don’t have anything against Angela. I don’t even know her. I’m upset that one of my best friends is freaking out because of my boyfriend, and now I’m apparently off-limits to the other.
“Shhh,” Adalynn says, “don’t say that so loud.” She glances around like she expects their coach to be standing right behind her. “We’re teammates, and we support each other one hundred percent. You’re being a jerk.”
Adalynn starts to walk off then stops. “I hate this, too. You’re my best friend, and I feel like crap after what happened yesterday. But, for now, I can’t be seen anywhere near you. My parents threatened to pull me out of school. Angela lives a block away, and I’m pretty sure they put her up to spying on me.”
“I’m sorry, Adal—”
But she interrupts me with a hand up. “The truth is that I’m not getting college offers like you,” she snaps. This is the first time I ever pick up on a hint of jealousy, and it guts me. I’m not trying to flex in front of my friends. That would be a jerk move, and I care way too much about them to show off. “I have to listen to my parents, and I have to do well on finals, or I have no future. Everything doesn’t come easy to me like it does you.”
Adalynn stomps off before I can even respond to that, which is kind of fine because I have nothing to say, anyway. I’m worried about finals, too. And I have been so wrapped up in my own problems that I probably haven’t been much of a friend to Adalynn, either. I guess Jax fits in that same boat. And now neither one of them wants to be anywhere near me. Suddenly, I have leprosy.
I bottle up the fire raging and tuck it somewhere deep so I don’t start crying. If I let that dam break, there’s no telling when I’ll stop.
I skip class that afternoon, telling my teacher that I have a headache. All I want is alone time in my dorm room and not to see another soul for the rest of the day. I’m wiped. I can’t wait to be alone.
Turning the corner to my hallway, I stop and consider running the opposite direction. Rhys is standing in front of my door. He screws his face up. “Hear you don’t feel well, Aldridge. What’s wrong? Got your period?”
I take his verbal jab without giving away my reaction to his rude comment. I’m mortified. I remind myself that he’s fishing for a response.
“What do you want?” I wouldn’t speak to him at all except he’s blocking my door.
“I was thinking that you and I should get to know each other a little better.” He puts his hand on my shoulder, but I quickly jerk out of his grasp.
“Doubt it,” I shoot back, standing my ground no matter how badly I want to break down. Let him see that he wins, and I may as well never show my face around school again.
He laughs, lifts his hand high in the air. “Hear that sound?”
I don’t respond as he drops his hand while making a sh-sh-sh-sh noise.
“That’s the sound of you falling from grace,” he quips.
I slap his hand away.
The look he shoots me could burn a hole through a car. “You’re nothing but a freak, and your kind isn’t welcome here.”
A comeback is fresh on my tongue, but I don’t dare piss him off more. Something tells me I’ve already pushed it too far, and there’s no one around to help if I scream. The dorms are empty this time of day because students are in class. It’s me and Rhys, and he’s a lot taller than I am.
He takes another step toward me and tweaks my chest.
I stare him down, forcing calm. “That’s enough, Rhys. Get out of here, or I’ll report you.”
“What’s the matter, Aldridge? I thought you were easy. Isn’t that why Caius is slumming it with you in the first place?” Rhys makes a grab at me, but I jump back in time so that his hand swipes air and misses.
My cheeks flame. I’m embarrassed. What my boyfriend and I do or don’t do is none of his business.
His face twists, angry, and there’s so much hate in his eyes. He takes a step toward me and digs his bony fingers into my shoulders, backing me against the opposite wall. My back slams hard against the bricks, and I turn my face away from him, expecting him to hit me.
“You might think you’re one of us or better because you’re dating him and you’re smart, but you’re not. You’re nothing but a piece of trash, and your family deserves everything happening to them.” He gnashes his teeth at me, and I can hear the sharp bite next to my ear.
My whole body is tense, and I’m mentally psyching myself up for the punch that I’m certain is coming. What does he know about my family? Hearing him mention them at all causes all my defenses to flare. My hands fist as fire burns through me. He doesn’t swing at me, though. He lets me go, takes a step back, and then straightens his tie. “Enjoy whatever time you have left. You won’t be here much longer. No one who matters wants you here anyway.”
With that, he smiles at me and then saunters away.
I feel exposed in the hallway, so as soon as he turns the corner I race to my door and unlock it. Everything in my room is turned upside-down. It was him. I’m certain of the fact. The long-eared blue stuffed bunny that Caius gave me has been sliced down the middle and the stuffing is everywhere…on my bed…on the floor…my desk.
Everything inside me wants to scream, to run and not stop until I collapse onto the hard earth. I gather up the padding and stuff it inside the long-eared light blue bunny. I kick my clothes that have been strewn on the floor into a corner and then curl up on my bed.
More than anything, I want to cry. Maybe I have no tears left, because none of them come. Heat rages through me, and the walls close in a way they never have before. The air thins, and I feel like a beached fish, gasping for oxygen. I need fresh air, but I don’t dare leave my room until time to go to the studio. Rhys is a bully and a jerk, but he’s going to have free rein, and he’s determined to put me in my place.
I don’t know how long I lie there. My AllinOne alarm goes off, and that means my studio time is about to start. I wouldn’t even go if I didn’t absolutely have to. I check my device. There’s a message fro
m Eleanor Chaffee.
Class is important. Make sure you attend all of yours tomorrow.
There’s a second note from her.
The athletic complex is nowhere near your class. Eyes are everywhere. Don’t stray where you don’t belong. It’s not good for the program.
I want to shout, “Or what? You’ll have me kicked out of the school?” I’m on my way out, anyway. It’s only a matter of time. Rhys is right about one thing. No one wants me here. I can’t imagine why the school would institute a program that is so resented anyway. How could Legacy families have allowed people who aren’t like them to be given the same opportunities as their children? I’m part of the test. Guess what? The program is a failure. I’m miserable.
Easton Prep would never admit it, though. And that’s most likely the reason that I’m still here. They’ll try to find a way out while saving face with those who wanted this in the first place.
There are so many questions burning in the back of my mind as I dress. I’d slipped power bars out of the cafeteria for emergencies. I have no interest in going to dinner and facing anyone in the cafeteria. I eat a bar.
Frustration has taken root, and I can barely contain my anger as I throw clothes in my bag and get ready for the studio. I half expect security to be there, too, and am surprised when there isn’t. Administration was so leery of me yesterday and so sure that I knew something I wasn’t telling them. Something is going on, something big. And then Rhys’s comment comes back…my family deserves everything they’re getting. What does that mean?
By the time I step outside, I practically run to practice. Rhys messed with my stuff earlier to show me that he can do anything he wants to me and there’s nothing I can do about it. In a way, he’s right. No one would believe me over a Legacy, even if I had evidence to prove that he’d assaulted me. It was obvious someone had disturbed my room. Would administration twist that around and blame it on me?
My gym bag barely hits the floor before I slip off my bracelet and swing my hair up in a ponytail using the rubber band around my right wrist. I’m worried about a spot check to make sure I show tonight, so I go through my normal stretching routine.
