by Barb Han
I stay in the dance studio longer tonight. The place is like a second home, and I always leave my problems outside. I need the escape.
The hall is quiet. No one checks on me. The second I think the coast is clear, I take off to meet Caius. Dating him has always been dangerous for me, but I hadn’t given much thought to how risky it might become for him.
“Hey,” he says when he sees me from the other side of the fence.
I carefully walk across the branch and then jump onto the top of the hill.
He’s standing there, studying me.
“I have to go. I have to get out of here.” I practically run past him and down the hill. I can’t get far enough away from school to satisfy me.
We reach the bottom at the same time. My heart’s pounding angrily against my ribs as I tell him about Councilwoman Snyder’s visit. I want to tell him about what Rhys said about my family, but I’m not sure how to bring it up without bringing him up, and that would lead to more questions I don’t have answers to. I can’t even begin to process everything that’s happened. I’d expected a message from my sponsors after the competition, but the Chaffees might be figuring out their next move, as well. And then I remember something about my brother. He used to say Plankton was the most underrated organism in the sea. My brain hurts from overthinking.
“Where would you go if you took off?” His dark blue eyes look like there’s a storm brewing behind them.
“Well, I can’t stay here anymore.” I’m pacing, wringing my hands together. “I think they’re looking for my brother. Someone must think I know where he is.”
“If that’s true, they’ll leave you alone. They’ll want to wait and see if he makes contact,” he says after a thoughtful pause. He’s being reasonable, and I’m grinding on emotion.
When I think about it, he’s right.
“Trevor’s not that stupid. I need to figure out a way to talk to my mother.”
“If he’s half as smart as you, he’ll be fine. Besides, if you try to escape now, they’ll follow you. They’re expecting you to make a move. All eyes are on you. It’s smarter to wait. Bide your time. I can put out feelers to try to figure out what they’re talking about.” He captures my arm as I pace next to him.
I stop. His touch comforts me and sends warmth spiraling through me.
“It’s too risky. They’ll be monitoring you, too,” I say, and then I hold my breath before I blurt out the rest.
“I already thought about that. I’ll be careful.” Those blue eyes of his look right through me in the way only Caius can.
That makes it even harder to say what I have to…
“We shouldn’t be seen together anymore. It would probably be best for us to break up.” The words barely come out. My chest constricts at the thought of losing him, too. I’ve already lost everyone else I care about.
“No way,” he says quickly.
I let out the breath I’ve been holding, and my heart swells until I think it might actually burst. I want to believe him so badly, to know that everything is that easy. Pretend nothing’s going on, and everything will work itself out. Experience has taught me otherwise. Experience has taught me that not everyone gets a happy ending. Experience has taught me that being righteous isn’t the same thing as winning.
“Besides, they’ll never go for it,” he adds quickly, and I can tell that he’s trying to convince me. “We’re better off pretending not to notice all the craziness going on around us.”
“All we need is a public fight. They’ll believe it,” I say without much enthusiasm.
Caius looks like I shot him in the back with an arrow. “Is that what you want, Tori?”
“No, but I don’t see a lot of options right now, and I can’t stand the thought of dragging you through this with me.” Surely, he knows how bad this will be for him.
“You have a future, Caius. I don’t. And yours might be jeopardized if you hang around with me much longer. I can’t be responsible for that. Adalynn’s mom has the right idea. Administration might not kick you out, but they can make your life hard. Teachers can mess with you. None of your friends even acknowledge you anymore. Not since you’ve been seen with me.”
I shake out of his grasp and move beside the towering oak entrance to the graveyard with my back to him. The air is thick with the threat of rain, and I’m fighting back tears as what little is left of my life crashes down around me.
“You have a future.” He’s standing behind me. I can feel his breath in my hair. His voice is low, quiet, and sends shivers down my back. “An even better one than those idiots you say are my friends. They’re not, by the way. And I don’t care what anyone else thinks when it comes to my life.”
If I care about him at all, I should be strong enough to push him away. I should pick a fight with him, stand my ground, and force him to walk away. But I can’t. All I want to do is lean into him and let his arms cradle me.
He turns me around to face him. I position myself so that my back is against a tree, and he’s standing in front of me. His arms come up on either side of me, his hands firmly planted against the solid trunk.
“Besides, I can’t break up with you, Tori,” he says with uncertainty in his eyes that I’ve never seen before, “because I love you.”
I stand there for a long moment, absorbing his words, getting lost in those intense ash-blue eyes of his while he waits for my response.
Chapter Eight
Finally, I draw in a breath. “I love you, too, Caius.”
He kisses me so intensely it takes away my breath. And then we stand there against the tree for a long moment before either of us speaks.
“For the record, I’m still worried about you being seen with me.”
He tucks a loose tendril of hair behind my ear and feathers a kiss against my lips.
“I’m not.” He’s so certain of himself that I almost believe it. “And you shouldn’t be, either.”
I start to say something, but he stops me with another kiss, and I melt against him.
He pulls back first. “I am worried about you, though. Did anything else happen today?”
“Adalynn ditched me,” I blurt out.
“I wondered what happened when I saw that her locker was empty.” He rests his hands on my shoulders, and I wince. He draws them back. “What’s wrong?”
“That? Nothing.” I try to dismiss it.
“That’s not nothing, Tori.”
“Jax is barely talking to me.” My attempt to distract him is working.
“That, I’m not so upset about,” he says with a dry smile.
His response makes me laugh despite everything going on. I go into detail about the interrogation, but if I tell him about Rhys, it’ll only cause more trouble, so I don’t.
“I can’t imagine why Snyder was actually there,” he says.
“Yeah, I thought that was weird, too.”
“I’ll check into it,” he promises. “Maybe I can get some info from my folks.”
“No. They’ll be watching you,” I counter. “Promise me you won’t do anything to draw attention to yourself.”
He doesn’t say anything for a long moment but then finally nods.
The other reason I don’t tell him about Rhys is that there’s no way Caius will be able to let it go. He’ll do something and end up kicked out. Selfishly, I want him here with me. Besides, washing out junior year would be awful.
“I should go back to the studio,” I finally say. “The last thing either of us needs is to get caught.”
“We only have a few more weeks until summer.” He captures my hand in his and braids our fingers together. “It’ll get easier to spend time together when everyone’s gone, and all this blows over.”
I hope he’s right.
“Did Rhys ever spend a summer here?” That would explain how he got into my
room without a key.
“Yeah. Why?” His eyebrow shoots up.
I regret mentioning it because I don’t want to lie to him, and I don’t want to tell him what happened. I try to act nonchalant. “Just curious. I saw him somewhere earlier that I didn’t expect, and I wondered if the reason he knows the dorms so well was the same as you.”
I’m not technically lying.
Caius lets it go, and I’m grateful.
We climb the hill, hop onto the branch, and reach the school in record time. We say goodbye at the tree line to be safe. I make it back to the studio without getting caught and spend the next hour stretching and cooling down.
The walk across campus toward my dorm is eerily quiet. A security drone hovers near the entrance. It locks onto me, scans me, and then moves away. Every noise, every animal stepping on a leaf, makes me jump now.
I think back—did Trevor mention anything else about Plankton in the past? He’d been so distant before I left for high school that I barely remember him saying two words. It wouldn’t do any good to try to contact him with my AllinOne, either. Not under the circumstances. If I was worried about my communication being monitored before, I’m downright paranoid now. And for good reason.
I open the door to my room and gasp.
“Close the door, fast.” Caius is sitting on my bed with the long-eared light blue bunny in his lap. Pins are the only things holding Clipper together.
I do what he says and lock the door behind me.
“What are you doing here? It’s too risky.”
He sets the long-eared bunny on the nightstand and stands in order to take my hand. “Rhys was here, wasn’t he?”
“Yes. He was.” Our fingers are braided again as he leads me to the bed.
“He’s the reason your shoulders are tender, isn’t he?” There’s fire inside his normally cool eyes.
I don’t respond.
“Did he hurt you?” he asks. “Never mind. That was a stupid question. I already know the answer.”
All I can manage is a nod before tears fall, and I bury my head against his chest.
“I’m not leaving you alone again,” he says through clenched teeth.
“We’ll end up caught,” I warn. “And they’ll make sure we never see each other again.”
“Your safety is more important than following rules.” He can’t watch me twenty-four-seven. “Tell me what Rhys knows.”
“You know him. He was being a jerk.” My throat cracks, and I cough to hide the fact I’m on the verge of crying.
“Did he threaten you?”
I nod.
“You don’t have to put up with that. I’ll make sure of it.”
Sniffing back tears, I ask, “Who’s going to believe me over a Legacy? And especially now? I came in seventh. My sponsor will probably drop me, and I’ll be out of here before I can yell for help when he corners me again.”
“Have you been sleeping?” Caius asks as he repositions us on the bed so that we’re lying side by side. I curl into the crook of his arm, rest my head on his chest, and lose myself in the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.
“No.”
“Close your eyes and rest.”
Those are the last words I remember hearing. I must’ve fallen asleep in his arms because, out of nowhere, my alarm is suddenly beeping.
The bed is cold where he used to be. I have no idea how long he stayed last night. All I know is that it’s the first time I’ve slept in weeks.
I take a quick shower before getting dressed and throwing my hair into a ponytail. My AllinOne is vibrating like crazy. I tuck it under my arm because I can’t afford to be late to class again. It’s most likely Mrs. Chaffee with more ‘helpful’ advice.
There are enforcers in the hallways of my dorm.
The first bell rings by the time I reach my locker. Out of habit, I glance over at Adalynn’s, half expecting her to be standing there, ponytail swishing. And then it hits me that she won’t ever be there again. I fight against the wall of sadness building around me and the well of loneliness threatening to consume me. I miss my best friend. Jax isn’t at his locker, either, but that’s not as surprising.
Before I turn, someone shoves me against the metal. I spin around too late as a pack of Legacies walk shoulder to shoulder with their backs to me.
None of the Sponsored kids makes eye contact at lunch, and Easton becomes a whole lot lonelier. I haven’t seen my boyfriend all morning, and I’m starting to worry.
I do see Rhys after lunch. He doesn’t look at me as we pass each other in the hall. He’s sporting a serious shiner on his right eye. I’m certain that Caius is responsible—one, I know he has issues with what Rhys did to me, and, two, he’s left-handed. The shot looks like it came from a left hook. Has Caius has gotten into trouble? We’ve only been together a few weeks, but I can’t imagine being here without him anymore.
The rest of the day sucks just as hard as the morning did. Everywhere I walk, I end up with a random elbow jabbed into my ribs and no one person to blame. I’m tripped twice, and I lose count of how many times someone bumps into me with a half-hearted apology.
Studying tonight sounds like a welcomed change of pace. I stop off at my locker one more time out of habit and am surprised to see Jax. It’s the first time today, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think he was avoiding me, too.
I walk over to his locker. “Hey,” I say.
A group of Legacies walks past, making snide remarks under their breath. I pretend like I don’t hear them, pretend like it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t sting nearly as badly as being rejected by the people who were supposed to be my best friends.
“Hey,” Jax parrots without much enthusiasm.
It’s been a rough day. I’m angry at his attitude, and the fire builds in my chest until flames lick the back of my throat.
“You know what? Forget it. You don’t want to be my friend, either? Fine. What do I care? I’m so done with this. With you.” I want to lash out. To release some of the pent-up frustration I’ve been carrying around for the past three years. What can it hurt? This non-friendship is a dagger in the chest anyway. I turn to walk away but feel his hand grab my elbow.
“Tori, wait,” he says with a little more enthusiasm than his earlier “hey.”
“For what?” I can’t speak his name without the ball of emotion in my chest threatening to explode. “So you can cold-shoulder me for the rest of the semester? What kind of friendship is this, anyway? You barely speak to me anymore. Adalynn’s gone. You might as well pretend that I don’t exist, too.”
I jerk my elbow out of his grip.
He’s undaunted. He just grabs me again and holds. He’s stronger than I expect.
“You’re right.” There’s so much anguish in his voice that I actually start to feel bad for him. “I haven’t been much of a friend.”
I turn to face him and lean my shoulder against the locker next to his.
“You already know that I’m not exactly a fan of your boyfriend—”
My hand flies up to stop him from going there. “You might not like Caius, but I do. He’s important to me, and you of all people should be glad that I’m happy.”
“That’s what I was going to say.” I can tell it’s painful for him to admit. “I should be happy for you. That’s what friends do for each other. I didn’t think he was good enough for you at first, but now I can see that he’s not using you.”
“You thought that?”
“I trusted him as much as you used to,” he counters.
He has a point.
“The guy started noticing you out of the blue, and I wondered if there wasn’t more to it.”
If I’m honest, I wondered the exact same thing in the beginning. I remember how much it hurt Caius when I accused him of the same thing.
“There’s somethi
ng that I need to tell you, Tori. I haven’t been completely honest about what’s going on.” He glances around, uneasy. He bites the bottom right corner of his lip, which is his nervous tick, and then his eyes are suddenly wide. A look of dread mixed with fear stirs behind his brown eyes.
I glance around. Lieutenant McAvoy and two of his men marching toward us. My muscles chord as the men stop in front of me and Jax.
“I haven’t done anything wrong,” I say. They push past me and grab him.
“You’re wanted in Headmaster Davidson’s office,” McAvoy grunts.
What kind of police officer—or whatever he is—walks a kid to the Headmaster’s office?
“I’m sorry, Tori,” is all Jax says as he’s ushered away.
I’d try to help him, but I’m afraid I’ll only make it worse. I stand there, mute and fuming. I should be used to it by now, but it hurts when my own friend pushes me away.
I don’t see my buddy until the next morning. And then I don’t bother talking to him. His face is turned toward his locker the whole time, anyway, and I’ll make it worse if I make contact. I’m toxic.
To make matters worse, my boyfriend ghosted last night. He’s nowhere to be found this morning. There are more security enforcers, so that’s great. I wonder if their numbers have doubled overnight. Headmaster Davidson’s voice on the announcements tells us that sporting events to other schools have been suspended until further notice.
Security is increasing. There’s no way Caius is going to be able to slip through undetected. There’s no good way to get a message to him to tell him not to try.
Stopping off at my locker to make sure Jax is okay proves a costly mistake when Rhys comes blazing down the hall.
He stops next to me. “What’s wrong, Vicki? No one here to fight your battles for you?”
My hands fist, but I won’t strike him with an enforcer so close—the enforcer who is presently making a show of looking in the opposite direction.
“I don’t need anyone to stick up for me in a fair fight.” I glance from the enforcer back to Rhys as one of his henchmen closes the wing. Both of them snarl at me in a show of perfectly straight, perfectly white teeth.
