Imperfections

by Shaniel Watson

  "Yes, you are," I say and look at Jay. "She is the cutest thing I have ever seen."

  "You seem surprised. Really, Cat, look at her; she looks just like me, who do you think she got her looks from?"

  We look at each other and smile. "Okay, if your head gets any bigger you'll topple over. Seriously."

  Kate starts talking from across the table. "I tell him that all the time. Do you have any plans for today, Cat? I thought it would be nice if all of us got together tonight and had dinner."

  Chris is sitting next to her across from Jay and I look at him when he answers.

  "That sounds cool, I'm free tonight," Chris says.

  "What about you, James?" Kate asks.

  "I might be able to make it," he says.

  I pour myself a cup of coffee, add a teaspoon full of sugar and cream as I look down into my coffee before I reply, "Sure. Dinner sounds good. When you say all of us, who's all of us?" I'm seriously hoping all of us does not mean me staring across the table at you and Nick because that would just be another f-ed up night.

  "It'll be the four of us and Nick."

  That's what I thought.

  "So where are we going to have dinner?" Chris says taking a drink of his orange juice. "I know a nice place. The food is amazing and there's a live band called Blue. It's a bar lounge that's also named Blue. The band owns it, it's kind of an upscale not your regular bar lounge."

  I stir my coffee and look at Chris. "Can I get a ride with you, Chris, since I don't have a car yet?"

  "Yeah, I'll be over here around six. I'll pick you up after I come from work."

  "Thanks."

  My mom stands up and picks up one of her fine white and silver-edged china plates and puts all of my favorites on it. Belgian waffle, soft scrambled eggs, and turkey bacon. Which is out of character for her, I guess the wedding talk put her in a giving mood. I'm going to eat everything on that plate and go back for seconds. I shouldn't, but I don't care. I'll do an extra workout session during the week.

  "Honey, I'm so happy you decided to come back home. I never did understand why you wanted to go halfway around the world all by yourself with no family in sight."

  I give her a half smile at her exaggeration. "I missed you too, Mom." I'm not going to get into this discussion again. She wouldn't understand that I had to go away to find who I was without my family. I needed to be independent without a safety net to catch me if I stumbled and fell. I didn't want to be William and Candice Reed's daughter, the successful real estate entrepreneur and I didn't want to be Chris and Jay's little sister. My first year at NYU that's who I felt like; a little sister because both of my brothers and Nick went there. They spread the word around I should be looked after.

  I wanted to feel like a grown-up woman for once and it wouldn't have happened here. My family means well but when you're the youngest, sometimes everyone is sticking their noses in your business, as if they all know what's best for you. Telling you what to do and how you should do it and if they were you what they would do. Let me breathe, let me figure out for myself what I want to do, who I want to be. I'm not saying "I'm woman hear me roar" but I don't feel like such a little girl anymore.

  I have a little more life experience now, if I don't like something, I'm free to say I don't like that and I don't want it, without feeling as if I'm going to offend or make anyone angry. And the thing about freedom and independence is, sometimes when you get it, it's not all you thought it would be. Sometimes you just want someone to hold you and take care of you and make the hard decisions for you.

  I'm the last to finish eating breakfast, I'm stuffed. Sasha is still sitting on my lap. Sophie comes in to clear the table. As soon as she sees me she comes over and gives me a hug, and kisses me on the cheek. Sophie has worked for my family since I was four years old. She treated me like I was one of her kids. She would let me help her cook when I was a little girl and I always enjoyed spending time with her. She was our housekeeper slash nanny.

  "Oh, my sweet girl, it's so nice to see your face, I missed you!"

  "And I missed you too, Sophie. No one could make a strawberry cheese cake like you, I missed your cooking."

  "Sweetie, as long as you promise to stay in New York I'll make you a hundred cheese cakes."

  She looks down at Sasha in my lap drinking her orange juice and kisses her on the forehead. "I said good morning to this little one already but I can't get enough of her, she is so precious."

  We smile at each other as she starts to clear the table. "Let me help you clean up."

  She waves her hand at me.

  "No, it's your first day home; besides, now that you live here, you'll have plenty of time to help me, if you want."

  Sophie is the best. She sent me a cheese cake every week the first month I left home. I give Sasha a kiss on her cheek and hand her back to my brother who takes her upstairs to get cleaned up. He's spending the morning with her before he goes to work. The doorbell rings and my mother starts to get up.

  "Don't get up I'll get it, Mom." I walk to the door and ask, "Who is it?" I hear an unmistakable southern drawl making me smile from ear to ear.

  "Honey, one of the best girlfriends you have!"

  Barely containing the excitement inside of me, I open the door to see Ava Alexander and Nick. Ava is Nick's cousin and one of my best girlfriends. We used to have so much fun together in the summer and holidays; she would come up from Nashville every year. I throw my hands up in the air over my head and let out a squeal and she does the same. "What are you doing here?" We throw our arms around each other like we haven't seen each other in years, bouncing up and down. The last time we saw each other was the last time I came to visit my family.

  We have the kind of friendship where even if we don't see each other for ten years, I can pick up the phone at any time, day or night, and she will answer and it will be like, "Hey, what's up with you? Are you okay?" And we just pick up right where we left off, unlike most people who would be mad and say, "You didn't call me. Why didn't you call? I called you and you didn't call me back right away." We understand life happens and sometimes you're not able to call back right away.

  "Girl, wild dragons couldn't keep me away from welcoming you home!"

  In my best imitation of a southern accent I say, "I sure am happy that you came, dragons and all." There was only one dragon and he was standing behind her looking at us like we've lost our minds.

  "How long are the two of you going to stay out here jumping up and down? Even though I do like what I see. Very much."

  I stop bouncing and glare at him. Ava stops, stands by my side and looks at him. He keeps looking at me with amusement in his eyes but his face is serious. It reminds me of when we were teenagers and I thought he was the cutest boy I had ever seen. God, those eyes could be like gray steal if he was angry, but oh God, they could memorize you like a clear blue ocean on a sandy white beach, on a tropical island and more than anything I wanted to strip down and swim in them. I had hopes that one day he would see me more than Chris's little sister and realize I was the one for him. I guess that ship has sailed.

  He lifts his hand and gently brushes a strand of hair behind my ear. I blink and look down so he can't see what's in my eyes. The feel of his skin against mine sends a shiver across my body. I feel like I'm breathing through straws. I can feel the heat in my body rising against the cool air. I don't want to feel this way but I do. There is something about this man that makes me come undone with one simple touch.

  I step back and his hand comes down. I grab Ava's hand and give her a tight smile and head toward the kitchen. "Come on, everyone's inside."

  She looks at me strangely, almost tripping over her feet while turning back to look at Nick. "What's going on with the two of you?"

  "Nothing. I'll tell you about it later."

  "Now, you know I'm going to hold you to that."

  "Oh, believe me I know."

  I walk into the dining room as Chris is standing up. Hmm… I don't see Kate,
but Mom and Dad are still there. "Look who's here!"

  Ava puts on her biggest and brightest smile, the one that won her Miss Teen Nashville, and the sweetest southern accent you've ever heard. Between that and the smoking hot body that she has: thick long black hair, dark blue eyes, a Shirley Temple dimple in her left cheek, a body like Jessica Rabbit although a little less exaggerated, she can never lose when it comes to getting the man she wants. Unless he's gay; her charms aren't that good.

  "Morning, everyone, sure is nice to see y'all again. Mr. and Mrs. Reed, it's been quite some time since I've been here in your lovely home."

  She gives my mother and father a kiss on their cheeks.

  "It's nice to see you too, Ava, we haven't seen you in ages. What have you been up to, and how is your mother?"

  "My mother is doing fine, Mrs. Reed. As a matter of fact, she's doing so well she's thinking about buying another house. Something to keep her busy when my father's away on business."

  "Well, good for her. I haven't heard from her in ages, when you speak to her please tell her I said hello."

  "I sure will. As for me, about a year and a half ago I opened my own high-end boutique in Nashville. It's doing so well that I'm thinking about opening another one right here in New York."

  "That's wonderful, Ava, I'm happy to hear everything is going so well for you."

  "And I thought you came all this way to see your closest friend," I say, turning to her.

  "Of course I did, but you know I believe in mixing business with pleasure."

  "I know you do."

  My parents give her a hug before they leave and tell her to come by whenever she wants to. When they leave she spins around with her thick hair swinging over her shoulders, looks directly at Chris and walks straight up to him with her sultry southern accent. I wonder if she can breathe, she sounds like she can't get enough oxygen into her lungs to take another breath making me wonder if I should be concerned.

  "Hi, Chris."

  "Hello."

  "Ouch! Hello, is that all I get? Why so cold?"

  "Is there something more I need to say?"

  "How about how lovely it is to see me and how you would love, so very much to spend some time with me while I'm in town."

  "As lovely as it is to see you, Ava, I don't know if that would be a good idea."

  "Why not? I thought you liked me. Remember when I was little and I tried to follow you around everywhere you went? Your mother and Nick's mother thought it was the cutest thing."

  "Only if you call having your own personal pain-in-the-ass stalker cute. What I do remember is, once, you snuck outside, rang the bell and left a flaming bag of hot shit for me to step in."

  I sit back and watch and try not to laugh out loud. I remember laughing so hard my eyes had tears streaming down my face for a good minute; it was hilarious.

  "Kids do the darnedest things. But I do have better tricks these days."

  "I'm sure you do." Chris turns and looks at me sternly seeing the smile on my face. "It's not funny, Cat, you weren't the one stepping in the shit."

  "Come on, Chris, looking back at it you have to admit it was a little funny."

  "Not at all. I have an appointment I need to get to, see you later. Bye, Ava."

  "See you later, Chris." She wiggles her fingers at him with a gleeful smile. He looks at her, shakes his head and walks out. Ava closes her eyes and makes a dreamy sound.

  "Cat, your brother is still fine as ever. Mark my words, one way or another I'm going to have that man."

  "Be careful what you wish for, Ava." She smiles, dimples peeking out at me and blue eyes shining with mischief. She's going to get what she wishes for and she won't regret it; good or bad. Ah, Ava. You will never change.

  We go into my room and I fill her in on everything that has happened since last night.

  Nick

  "What the hell were you thinking last night, telling everyone we're getting married?"

  There's a look of utter shock on Kate's face.

  "I'm sorry, it just came out."

  "What do you mean it just came out? Something like that just doesn't come out of your mouth."

  "I'm sorry."

  "You said that already. I don't want to hear it again. I never promised you that I would marry you, let alone in three months. Did you lose your fucking mind, are you crazy!"

  She's looking at me like I'm crazy; she's never seen me this angry. She walks around the desk in her father's study, wearing a cream-colored blouse, slightly fitted gray trousers and wedge heels. She takes a deep breath then speaks.

  "No, I'm not crazy. I know you didn't, didn't exactly propose—"

  "I didn't propose."

  "But we did discuss it."

  "Let me explain it to you again so there will be no misunderstanding from this point forward, do you understand me?"

  "Yes and—"

  "Shut up. Don't say anything until I'm finished! You showed up at my office and told me you had something important to tell me that couldn't wait, the next thing I know you're telling me you're pregnant. I told you I needed a paternity test, we had sex once and when I pulled out my dick I pulled out a condom to go along with it. I know they're not a hundred percent effective and once is all it takes, but I need proof that baby is mine."

  I look at her, pointing to her stomach. "If this baby you're carrying is mine, I will do the right thing for my child. I said marriage was one option that I was not committed to especially not knowing for sure if this child is mine. You suggested marriage, not me. I'm not going to marry you—or anyone—because you're pregnant, that would be crazy and ill-advised for both of us. I said I would draw up papers to make sure you and my child—if in fact this is my child—are taken care of financially. Visitations would be worked out and scheduled; we would be co-parents in raising this child if I'm found to be the father. Beyond that there will be nothing between us but mutual respect as parents."

  I am so close to her when she tries to interrupt me I place my finger against her lips and slowly shake my head. "Don't interrupt me. Until you can get the paternity test, if you need anything you can call me. If you need me to escort you to an appointment or family function, I'll go with you; so if the baby turns out to be mine it won't look like what it is. An unexpected mistake." I drop my hand away from her and she walks back around the desk lowering herself into the chair while avoiding my eyes.

  "Do you remember that conversation, Kate?"

  "You've changed it a bit, but yes, I do."

  "Good. No one is going to find out about this pregnancy until I know if I'm the daddy. One more thing, I don't care what you do or how you do it, but make sure that everyone who was in that room last night, who heard your little announcement keep their mouths shut."

  She looks at me perched on the edge of the chair, hands folded on the table like a shrewd businesswoman ready to cut a deal she's not entirely satisfied with but has no choice but to accept. Why take the brass ring if you have a chance to get the gold. This is a woman I found out through her family last night, desperately wanted to get married white picket fence and all, that presumably comes with it.

  "So this is the other side of Nicholas Alexander. Like father like son."

  "If that's the way you want to think of it, then yes."

  I walk to the door closing it behind me and immediately hear a loud thud against it. She's probably wishing that was my head.

  Cat

  "Hey, Cat, I was about to come up and see you, are you going out?"

  "In a few minutes," I tell Kate coming off the stairs.

  "Where's Ava, Mom said she was here?"

  "She forgot something in my room, look, here she comes."

  Coming down the steps with her jet black hair bouncing around her, Ava stands next to me facing Kate at the bottom of the stairs. Ava and Kate aren't the best of friends, I hope Ava doesn't say anything that will set off an argument. I'm not in the mood to play referee.

  "Kaitlin Reed, my, I haven't seen y
ou in a long time. I hear you're engaged to my favorite cousin, I guess I should say congratulations?"

  Ava was never shy about speaking her mind and saying exactly whatever she wanted. She leans in and gives Kate a I'm touching you but I don't really want to type of hug and a kiss on the cheek. She stands back and looks at her up and down. Kate clears her throat, puts her hands together in front of her and is barely able to put a smile on her face. It looks more like it's contorted into some kind of pain she's trying to hide.

  "Thank you."

  "Nicholas and I are very close so imagine my surprise when my dear friend here told me you were engaged. Well, honey, I almost choked on my orange juice when she said Nicholas was your fiancé."

  She moves over to me and puts her hand on my shoulder, smile not leaving her face.

  "We had breakfast together this morning and drove all the way over here and he didn't once mention you or the fact you were getting married. You know, he is so busy these days it probably just slipped his mind. I'm sure he was probably going to tell me later." Ava has a smug, satisfied look on her pretty face. She knows how to push Kate's buttons, every chance she gets she's going to take it.

  I can see Kate is working hard to keep the smile on her face. She looks like her head is about to explode. She looks more and more uncomfortable with every word that comes out of Ava's mouth.

  "I'm sure he was going to tell you. Nick has been very busy lately with work and everything. We decided we only want to share the news of our engagement with our immediate family, for now. We're asking the people who know not to say anything. We're not ready to deal with all the attention with him being partner and one of the most sought after lawyers and bachelor in New York. We want to enjoy our engagement before everything starts getting crazy."

  "Sure, Kate, if that's what Nick and you want. Of course we understand the need for privacy; sometimes the media can be such vultures." Ava being Ava can't say okay and leave it alone. "Where's your engagement ring? Let me see that rock, if I know my cousin, which I do, he bought you the biggest ring he could find."