Imperfections

by Shaniel Watson

  "Really, I wouldn't have thought that."

  "What, do you think I was sleeping around? I was a good girl, my brothers would have kicked my ass and the guy's."

  "I know that, and I know you were a good girl. I thought you would have been a little older so don't get all worked up."

  "I'm not. Like Samantha, it happened at my house when no one was home."

  "That's surprising, weren't you scared someone would come home?"

  "No, I knew no one would be home for hours, but it was still in the back of my mind. It wasn't planned, he wasn't even a boyfriend. I never really had a boyfriend. I had lots of dates but not a real boyfriend."

  "He was some random guy you were dating?"

  "No, we weren't even dating; he was more of my brother's friend. We always talked, he was nice and I thought he was cute."

  "Which brother's friend was it?"

  "Does it matter?"

  "Yes! You shouldn't have been having sex or anything else with any of your brothers' friends, they were way too old for you. They all knew if they laid a hand on you they were going to get their ass beaten."

  It's amazing how those eyes can turn from steamy and sexy to outright rage within seconds. He's not even yelling and I can feel the anger rising off him like fog on a bleak, stormy night. "Well, it doesn't matter now. It was years ago, he didn't force me to do anything. I'm the one who wanted to lose my virginity."

  "Why?"

  I shrug my shoulders and think about it for a second. "At the time, everyone was talking about how great sex was. This might seem silly to you, but I wanted to experience what everyone was talking about. I felt I was ready and mature enough to handle the situation and I didn't want to wait for a boyfriend that I never had or that so-called special one."

  You were the special one, but you weren't going to lay a hand on me. I can tell by the way he's looking at me that he's thinking about what I said and I know he's going to want to know who this guy was.

  "Were you ready?"

  "Yes and no. Like I said, I was home alone when the doorbell rang, I wasn't expecting anyone. I went to the door and it was one of Chris's friends. You heard right, Chris's friend so don't interrupt me." He throws his hand up in the air in frustration. I roll my eyes at him and continue. "He was returning something he borrowed from Chris, I told him he wasn't home, but he could come in if he wanted. He asked me if it was okay for him to come in 'cause it seemed like no one was there, I reassured him it was."

  "Which was a lie."

  "It wasn't, I was allowed to have company just not a boy in my room and we weren't in my room at the time. He came in, we started talking and he saw the book I was reading for my English class on the table, it was Edgar Allen Poe, he said it was one of his favorites and it was one of mine too. We spent about two hours talking, I found out we had a lot in common. He said I was smart, and cute and if I wasn't off limits he would have kissed me already. I told him some limits shouldn't stop him from doing what he wants and I wouldn't tell if he didn't, no one had to know but the two of us."

  I pause to look at Nick but I can't tell what he's thinking. His head is against the headrest, his eyes don't leave my face, and they're intense. I'm starting to feel exposed, I'm not sure I like that and I think he knows it. That's one of the reasons he's so good at his job.

  "What's wrong?" he says quietly.

  "Nothing." I take a breath and continue. "We were sitting on the couch when he put his hand on my cheek and kissed me. It was soft and sweet but then it changed, not in a bad way; his kiss was one of the first kisses from a guy to make me feel something different. Something I couldn't explain and when his hands touched me I wanted to know, I wanted to feel more. I just wanted to know what it was like. I took his hand, we went upstairs and I locked the door. He took my hand and asked if I was absolutely sure. I said yes. He didn't treat me like I was the girl he was going to sleep with that night and forget about the next day or Chris's little sister. I was Catherine and he was who he was. He knew it was my first time and he made me feel like everything I felt at the moment mattered to him."

  "Did you regret it?"

  "That night I did, it hurt like hell! But he held me and kissed me, he told me it wasn't always going to feel like this—"

  "You don't need to go into every single detail, I don't need a visual!"

  "Don't be like that, you wanted to know."

  "Yeah, I did."

  "He said, 'what we did was all mechanical but when it's with the right person, it's a whole different experience. When it's with the one you love, that's when it's going to be the first time for you.'"

  "Words of wisdom from the guy who took your virginity. How sweet."

  I can't believe this guy has the nerve to cop an attitude with me for something that happened years ago, when he's engaged to my sister. I turn around in the car seat to fully face him. I look him straight in his stormy gray eyes 'cause we both know there's a storm coming and it's going to happen right here in this damn car. I put my hand against the armrest and lean over, and in a slow controlled voice I articulate every single word so he can hear me clearly.

  "He didn't take anything. I gave it to him. Emphasis on 'I gave it to him.'" Before I can blink, the storm in his eyes turns into a full-on thunderstorm I have never seen before, at least not aimed toward me. He runs his hand through his thick black hair and puts the other one on the steering wheel.

  "What the fuck, Cat!"

  "Don't treat me like a child, Nick! Back then I didn't need your permission or any of my brothers', to tell me when I could have sex with a man. I didn't need it then or now, I'm a grown woman! I do what I want! When I want!" We're yelling at each other and neither one of us cares. He turns to me with his hand still gripping the steering wheel and points his index finger at me like he's in court and I'm on trial for a heinous crime.

  "So I should assume that since that night, you make a habit of sleeping with men you barely know?"

  "What! I'm highly offended and you are way out of line."

  "I wasn't expecting to hear anything you said to me. Some guy comes to the door and you suddenly decide you're going to have sex with him—"

  "It wasn't like that!"

  "He was too old for you and he damn well knew you were off limits to him, what's his name?"

  "None of your business. Why are you so angry, Nick? Is it because one of your friends dared to disobey an order from you and my brother or is it because you weren't the one having sex with me, you weren't the one kissing me, touching me, doing those things to me?"

  "I wouldn't have done that to you! You were too young, you were my best friend's little sister."

  "And that's the problem! I'm going inside." Popping open the door I jump out and slam it as hard as I can to emphasize how angry I am.

  Chapter Three

  Nick

  I sit back facing up at the car roof with my eyes closed. I need to compose myself before I go inside to deal with Kate's bullshit, when all I want to do is go after Cat and talk to her. I never lose my temper like that with her. She's right. I don't want to think of anyone else touching her whether it be years ago or now. I would really like to know who this so-called friend of mine was that had his hands all over her. The sooner Kate gets this paternity test the sooner I can tell Cat her sister and I are not engaged. I don't want her to find out Kate's pregnant and there's a chance the baby is mine. I need to be the one that tells her, she needs to find out from me.

  Blue is downtown Brooklyn, Cobble Hill. The outside is blue-tinted glass with a midnight blue awning that runs from one end of the restaurant to the next. Written across it in neon blue is the word Blue. Inside against the back wall is a dark rich mahogany bar, on both sides of the bar are booths with black leather seats, big white fluffy pillows, sheer white shimmer curtains that are artfully draped around the booth to partially obscure an onlooker's view. The lounge isn't big, it would be considered cozy and warm; it could hold sixty to eighty people. A place you would bri
ng a date for a drink or to kick back and relax with a few friends.

  I walk in and look around the room and see all four of the Reeds already seated at the table. There's a woman sitting with them next to Jay, she looks like Vanessa, his wife. I thought they were separated. Maybe they're trying to work things out for their daughter's sake. That would be good for Sasha, I think kids should grow up with both parents in their lives but only if both parents can be civil to each other and come to an understanding of doing what's in the best interest of the child. I always liked Vanessa, she's beautiful and smart. I hope they can work things out.

  An attractive young woman with straight shoulder-length black hair parted at the side walks up to me and asks if I would like to be seated. "No, thank you, my party is already seated and waiting for me." She looks up at me and smiles. She's very attractive, if I had to guess I'd say she's around twenty-one, twenty-two. She looks like she could be a model: tall, slender and shapely, about five feet eight inches. Her eyes go to my mouth then slowly look back up at me.

  "Well if you need anything at all ask for Lexi. I'll be more than happy to serve you with whatever you need."

  "I'll keep that in mind."

  "I hope so."

  She turns around and walks away in her tight black dress, hips swaying. A few days ago I would have probably taken her up on whatever she was offering and taken her number, but the only woman I can think about is Catherine Reed and helping her with what she needs.

  "You haven't lost your touch with the ladies. I hope your new fiancée knows what she's in for."

  I don't have to turn around. I'd know that southern accent from anywhere. "Hello, Ava."

  "By the look on your face I'd have to think you're not happy to see me, which I know couldn't possibly be true, or maybe it's the reminder of your new fiancée." Ava raises her eyebrows, opens her mouth in a perfect oval and puts her left hand in front of it. "That's supposed to be a secret, right?"

  Standing next to me in a checkered black-and-white wool coat, she puts her right hand on my cheek where she can see my jaw clenched as she looks at the table where everyone is seated. "Don't be upset with me, Nick, I should be angry with you for not telling me you're engaged to Cat's sister. What the hell is that about? You spent the entire morning with me and it didn't cross your mind to mention you were engaged, to her."

  "Who told you?"

  "Before you go off half-cocked, Cat told me before Kate told us some bull about you two wanting to keep it quiet because you don't want the media finding out, which is code for you want it to be kept a secret. I think I know you well enough to know you wouldn't give a damn who knew you were engaged if you were really in love."

  I keep looking straight ahead at the table, without blinking, I put my hands in my pocket. "We're not going to talk about this, Ava."

  "Fine, I'll drop it for now but we will talk about it."

  I turn around to face her. I look at her seriously then smile. I take my left hand out of my pants pocket and pick up a lock of her hair between my fingers. "Strawberry blond?" She has a sheepish look on her face. I know her well enough to know that something or someone had prompted this sudden change in hair color. It suits her, but I prefer it black.

  "What? I needed a change, it's fall, the holidays are around the corner. It goes with the season."

  "Relax, when you're ready you'll tell me if you want to. I'm not going to pry and stick my nose where it doesn't belong."

  "Yes, I will, but that still doesn't let you off the hook. My nose has a mind of its own."

  I know she's not going to stop until she finds out what's going on between Kate and me. She takes my hand and walks in front of me head held high like she's the main attraction in the room.

  "Come on, Nick, let's get over there so the fun can begin, you know how I like to shake things up."

  "I know, so I'm going to tell you now, don't!"

  "I'll try my best."

  I know she's going to probably try not to cause trouble but God help her she can't stop herself sometimes. This is going to be an interesting night.

  Cat

  I take a sip of my red wine and look around the table at my sister and brothers. Chris is by himself as usual; he never brings any of the women that he's dating around. When he was in high school he did but he wasn't serious about any of them. I think I'm the only one in the family that's met a handful of the girls he's dated since high school. They're usually tall, thin model types with long hair, high cheekbones and pouty lips. They don't seem like his type of woman to me; they're so serious and buttoned down but what do I know. They might appear to be one way on the outside but real sex kittens behind closed doors, whips and chains, and all that.

  Sitting at the head of the table I look at Vanessa and Jay sitting across the table from Kate. If I didn't know their situation, I would think they were a happy couple. I remember the day they got married; it was a beautiful fairytale wedding on Long Island at Oheka Castle in May. They looked like they should be on top of the wedding cake instead of walking down the aisle. Her hair was piled high on top of her head with a tiara around it. She wore a Monique Lhuillier princess-cut gown. Jay, who like Chris is always put together and handsome, was beaming at the sight of his bride, they were so happy. Holding hands, touching and kissing, I thought they would be together forever. I'm sure they thought the same thing. They're good for each other; Jay is the more responsible one out of the four of us. Vanessa loosens him up and shows people his softer side, which was evident after she had Sasha.

  She had postpartum depression for the first year of Sasha's life. Jay did everything for Sasha so Vanessa wouldn't have any added stress and to make things easier for her, but it seemed like the more he did, the further apart they grew. Seeing them together now, smiling and talking like they used to, gives me hope they'll find their way back to each other. Gives me hope one day I'll find the right man for myself. When I do, he'll be single, free and disengaged.

  I sigh deeply and take another sip of my wine. Why are things so complicated sometimes? Why can't things work out the way you want them to? Life would be so much simpler. I look down at my wine glass on the table and run my finger back and forth across the rim of the glass, looking up when Kate says something to me.

  "Are you all right, Cat?"

  Kate looks at me concerned like she's trying to figure something out. I don't feel like being at this dinner. Under different circumstances I would have loved to spend time with my sister and brothers. I do not want to spend time with Nick and Kate as a couple. Last night was enough especially after the argument we had in his car. Where is he anyway? It's been about thirty minutes since I got out of his car and slammed the door as hard as I could. Most men hate that, their cars are like their babies.

  "Cat, you didn't answer me, are you okay?"

  "Yes. I was thinking."

  "About what?"

  "How good it is to see you guys and catch up on all the things going on in our lives." Which is not a lie. Then I hear it. A sweet, southern voice coming toward us.

  "Hi, y'all!"

  Oh no. I groan inwardly and look at Ava, at least I think it's Ava. I absolutely know the guy standing next to her, I can't ignore his presence. I'm so angry with him for everything, not just the argument in the car. I'm going to try to have a pleasant evening and try to the best of my abilities not to create a scene. I can do that as long as he's on his best behavior.

  I push my chair back, stand and kiss Ava on the cheek. Ava was always gorgeous but wow, now she's a total knockout, she's a smoking hot babe. With a shocked expression I run my hand over her hair.

  "What did you do to yourself?"

  "You don't like it?" she says with a frown.

  "Are you kidding? I love it."

  "For the first time today since I colored my hair I wasn't sure if it was a good idea. Other people might be nice and say it looks good, even if it doesn't, but a true friend like you would tell me the truth."

  "Men are going to be lin
ed up around the block to get your number."

  "If there is a line, I only want one guy in it."

  She turns around, looks down the table at Chris giving him a beaming smile. She walks around to Vanessa and Jay and greets them with a hug and a kiss. She sits in the chair at the end of the table between Chris and Kate. Nick greets everyone at the table and since no one but me knew Ava was coming he asks for an extra chair. He actually has the nerve to tell them to put his chair between me and Kate. What the hell!

  Vanessa turns and asks me something, up until that point everything was going fine. The music was a good mix of rock—not the hardcore stuff—and Neo soul. The guys in the band were cute; three white guys and two black. They looked like they might be in their mid-to-late twenties, they sure didn't look like they were starving artists struggling to make their way. The jeans alone that all of them were wearing had to cost anywhere between two, two hundred fifty dollars easily. Maybe this was a thing they did on the side for fun. Then I remember Chris did say they owned this place. Business must be good for them.

  Here I am, relaxed, on my third glass of wine, enjoying the music, the vibes in the club and the view of the hot guys in the band. I'm so wrapped up in the band and the music I manage to effectively ignore the other hot guy sitting next to me who I want to haul off and slap for being an absolute ass.

  "Cat, what a lovely pendant you're wearing," Vanessa says.

  I'm holding the wine glass in my right hand and my left hand flutters over my pendant.

  "Thank you."

  "I've never seen you wear it before, it's beautiful, unique. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. The gems are brilliant. It's almost as if they're staring at you."

  Vanessa should know, she specializes in gems, she helps run her family's jewelry boutique and their clientele is some of the wealthiest people in and around New York. Everyone turns to look at my pendant and Nick looks directly at me. I feel the heat rise slowly up my cheek, I'm not sure if it's the wine or the fact that while everyone else is looking at my pendant, Nick's looking at me and I don't have to turn around to know he's watching every move I make. "Yes, it's exactly like that," I say.