Electile Dysfunction (Gotcha Detective Agency Mystery Book 6)

by Jamie Lee Scott

  Jackie looked Max up and down for good measure. He probably felt good and raped by now. She said, “Too bad all the good ones are married or gay.” Then she winked and followed Cortnie out of the room.

  Max laughed and called after her, “That’s so cliche.”

  I liked him. He had a sense of humor. I needed someone with a sense of humor after so many years with a fun hater. I needed a distraction from the losses in my life.

  “She’s cliche.” I didn’t know what else to say. We were done with our business.

  Mimi picked at the top of a muffin, eating bites the size of peas. Not sure what she was thinking, but I’d wanted her to do it somewhere else.

  Max put his glass on the table and stood. “Thanks for the hospitality. I’d better get back to Monterey.” Our eyes met. “Tonight, say around eight?”

  I did my best to remain neutral. “Sounds good. Eight it is. Do you want me to meet you in Monterey?”

  “Actually, if it’s okay with you, I’ll pick you up here, or at your house?” Max had already turned to walk away.

  Good thing he did, because little Chas got a tad excited about that prospect. “I’ll walk you to the car and give you my address.”

  “I already have your address, but I’d gladly have you walk me to my car.” I couldn’t see his face, because he didn’t turn back as he said the words.

  I’m glad, because I was probably grinning like a little boy.

  We left Mimi standing in the reception room, wondering what had just happened.

  When I returned, she was standing in the doorway of her office. “What was that all about? Who is he? And…Oh. My. God.” She fanned herself.

  I grabbed her by the arm, looked behind me to be sure Max hadn’t come back into the building, then escorted her into her office and shut the door.

  “Isn’t he incredible?” I flopped down on the chair in front of her desk.

  Mimi sat in the chair next to mine. “So spill it.”

  I told her about Marriotto Imports, the test drive, and the car I wouldn’t be buying. Then I told her why Max had stopped by.

  “How much does he know?” No longer giddy, she looked scared.

  “As much as I let them know about me.” I was confident in my hacking skills.

  “But he knows your work history.” She reminded me.

  “He knows what they know. Not all of it.”

  Mimi knew more about me than anyone in the world, including, and especially, my mom. We had similar government backgrounds, only hers was a piece of cake, mine not so much. For all the bitching and griping we do at each other, I trust no one else with my secrets, only her.

  “And if they find out?”

  I wasn’t so comfy in my chair now. “They’d have to be better than I am. And that’s just not possible.”

  Mimi shoved me. “You’re the best, but there is always a younger and cockier sharpshooter out there. Someone who can dig deeper, and knows where the bodies are buried.”

  Speaking of buried bodies, Lola chose that moment to grace us with her appearance. She had a bone in her mouth that looked to be the size of a human femur. We both turned to look.

  “What the hell is that?” Mimi asked.

  “I think Uta has fallen for Lola’s charms. Have you seen the other stuff she’s bought that spoiled girl?”

  Lola looked in our direction, then went to her bed in the corner. She dropped the bone on the floor, and pushed at her covers with her nose. When that wasn’t enough, she started scratching. Then she stopped. She looked at us, and we pretended not to be looking at her. Satisfied, she again scratched at the covers, and with her mouth, she picked them up and moved them. Back to the bone, she picked it up and placed it on her bed. Looking back again, to be sure she hadn’t been followed or watched, she shook her head, and pulled the cover over the bone. Once the bone was fully covered, she again used her nose to push everything into place, nice and neat, then strolled out the door, completely ignoring us as she left.

  “I guess she thinks if she ignores us, we aren’t really here,” Mimi said.

  “Right.” I watched her leave the room. “Now where were we?”

  “We were distracted by a dog.”

  “Oh, that’s right. And we were talking about where the bodies are buried.”

  “What about Bucky’s body?” Mimi leaned back, her head against the back of the cushioned chair, staring at the ceiling.

  “Not our problem.” I wasn’t ready to butt heads with Nick on another murder case.

  “But it is. Skinner is our client, and he may be a suspect.” She still stared at the ceiling.

  I looked up to see what she was looking at. Nothing stood out. “Again, not our problem.”

  “We can help him. And he did pay me quite a bit of money in cash. We should earn it.” It was like she was prodding me.

  “Give it back.” Now I knew my judgement was clouded by my thoughts of Max. Never give back the money. Work for it and earn it somehow. “Never mind. We can look into it. But I’m not going to have you and Nick in a fight when this is all done.”

  “We won’t. Besides, I don’t want to solve the case. I just want to make sure our client is innocent.” She sat up and looked at me. “Are you in?”

  I was in. She knew I couldn’t say no. The puzzle was the best part. “So what do we know so far?”

  “Let’s get everyone in here. We can work this as a team.” Mimi reached across her desk and dialed Uta’s phone. “Can you ask everyone to come to my office, please? Now?”

  “You know that’s wasting her time and talent? You could just get off your ass and go tell them to meet with us.”

  “There’s a lot of things I could do, but that’s what I did. And Uta is a super woman, so I’m sure she can handle it and still do her job just fine.”

  Laughing and smiling, Cortnie and Jackie arrived through the door from the kitchen. Lola tailing behind them. She made a beeline to her bed to plop down over her freshly buried bone.

  “Ladies!” Mimi and I were apparently not their first priority at that moment.

  They shut up and stared at me.

  “Mimi and I have been discussing Skinner, and we’ve decided he’s a prime suspect in the murder of Bucky Cox. The money he paid us to this point is mute, so in order to earn it, it’s our job to prove his innocence.”

  Jackie looked at me. “What if he’s guilty? Then what?”

  “Then we turn what evidence we have over to the police, and that’s that,” Mimi said.

  I wasn’t so sure that’s how it would work. I mean, we’d use the man’s own money to convict him? Somehow, that didn’t seem right. I didn’t correct her, because now wasn’t the time to hash that ending out. I let the answer pass.

  “That’s bullshit,” Jackie responded. “He hired us to look into the fraud, and the theft charges, not murder. We did our job, and now we wash our hands of it. I see things haven’t changed since I’ve been gone.”

  What had gotten up her ass? And since when did she have a say in what went on at our agency? Not to mention what cases we took. I wanted to stay out of the way on this, but being told what to do is not in my nature. At least not by my employees.

  “Excuse me? Who is the employee here? And who are the owners?”

  Jackie’s glare turned on me. “Oh, no, excuse me. Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?”

  What the hell? Jackie had always been a little outspoken, but never insubordinate. I gave Mimi two seconds to get a grip on her friend, before I had my say and then fired her ass. But Mimi said nothing.

  “Jackie, I’m talking to my employee. I don’t give a rat’s ass how long you’ve been Mimi’s friend, or how long you’ve been with the agency. This is now my company, too, and if you don’t like the way things are run, then you know where the door is. I’d be happy to have Uta pack your things and deliver them to your house for you.”

  Jackie pulled her company phone from her pocket and threw it at me. “Fuck you, Charles.
I quit. And I can pack my own shit.”

  I caught her phone mid air. “Well, isn’t that nice? But no, you’ll be leaving out the back door as soon as you grab your purse. The rest of your belongings will be delivered to you. Please give me your keys.” I looked at Cortnie, who was standing with her mouth open. “You have something to say?”

  Cortnie closed her mouth.

  “Mimi?” Jackie screamed.

  Mimi had been strangely quiet. “You heard him, Jackie. You quit, so you’ll need to leave the property immediately. Leave your keys.” To me, she said, “We’ll have to have Uta call the locksmith and change the locks.”

  “What the hell?”

  “Cortnie, can you give us a minute?” Mimi said.

  Cortnie didn’t even answer. She just turned and left the room, and headed toward the front desk, not toward the kitchen, which would be the door Jackie would be using when she left.

  When the door closed behind Cortnie, Mimi said, “I’m sorry, Jackie, but you’ve been difficult to get along with since you returned. You’ve questioned Charles at every turn. I don’t know what else to say. If you aren’t happy, then quit. But it’s true, if you quit, you leave with your handbag. The rest of your belongings will be returned to you. It’s in the company contract you signed when you returned from your hiatus.”

  “Mimi, we’re best friends, and this is all you have to say to me? You’re just going to let him do this?”

  Mimi gave me the look. I wanted to ignore it, but it was a girl thing. I would be able to hear them through the walls, so I left the room. I’d still know exactly what was going on. I would never not be in the know.

  Chapter 7

  MIMI

  I walked over to Jackie and stood right in front of her. We’d been friends too long to just let this go. The last time she’d gotten married, she’d acted weird, and we didn’t talked for twelve years. I was too old to let another twelve years pass.

  “I don’t know what is wrong with you. Since you’ve come back from your vacation, you’ve been snide, snappy, and difficult. This isn’t the Jackie I know and love. You haven’t picked up a single case, and you judge and criticize every move everyone makes, including Uta. And we all know Uta can run circles around all of us, especially for her age.”

  Uta was a sixty-something who had gotten back into the workforce when coming to work for Gotcha. She’d been a life force for the business, and done everything possible to get herself up to date with current technology and events, so she could be the best employee for us. Cortnie had hired her, and she had done the right thing. No twenty-something would have put the time and energy into the position of receptionist that Uta had put in, and yet Jackie had done nothing but chastise her since returning.

  “I can’t believe you hired a blue hair. What are you going to do when she has a heart attack and dies in the middle of the day?” Jackie snapped.

  I couldn’t believe my ears. Uta was in fine health, and spent her lunch hour walking, then came back and ate a healthy lunch at her desk, so she could complete her work and be finished in time to leave by six. Six, when most people wanted to be done by five. Uta had been given flexibility in her hours over the last few weeks, because she came in whenever she was needed. As long as she was here to schedule appointments from eight AM to noon, I didn’t care what else she did with her time. But apparently Jackie cared, because she flipped out at four o'clock one day last week because Uta wasn't available to make photocopies for her.

  “She’s old, and she’s behind the times.” Jackie stood firm.

  Uta wasn’t the point, so I moved on. “There is something else going on. Stop blaming this on other things. Get to it: why are you being such a bitch?”

  Jackie took a step back. “Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.”

  “Don’t even go there.” I didn’t know if I was up to this. I was ready to walk away, but instead, I broached the subject I’d been dying to bring up. “Are you second guessing your marriage?”

  Jackie’s eyes went wide and her mouth opened as if she was going to speak, then it snapped shut. She blew air out her nose, then said, “Oh. My. God. You’re jealous. You are so blinded by that asshole, Nick, that you’re jealous I found a great guy and married him.”

  Now I was really lost. What did I have to be jealous of? Jackie was happy, I was happy, and Charles wasn’t mourning anymore. Everyone seemed happy. “What on earth would I possibly be jealous of? I’ve only ever wanted to see you happy.”

  “You think that loser is going to ask you to marry him. And I got married first, just like last time. You hated that I got married the first time. You were so jealous, you couldn’t even be my friend anymore. And here you are again, but this time it’s never going to happen. Because Nick’s just milking the cow; he’ll never buy it when the milk is free. Is that why you offered Charles the ownership of Gotcha, and not me, because you can’t stand that my life is so much better than yours, and you’d have to be equal partners with me? Is that it?”

  And now we got to the nitty gritty of the bitchiness. She was pissed because I partnered with Charles and not her. There was no way I’d ever go into business with my best friend. Charles and I were friends, and in a way best friends, but we were business friends first. When push came to shove, the business would always come first with us, and I knew that. And it was Charles who came to me. But how did I tell her that I’d never in a million years be business partners with her, and her attitude right now, and over the last few weeks were exactly why?

  “Jackie, this is crazy. Why didn’t you just say this in the first place? Why pull out that nasty little knife of yours and stab me with it? And not only stab me, but jab it in hard, and then twist?”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “I’m going to address your wedding and marriage first,” I said, pointing my finger within inches of her frowning face. “I could give a shit that you got married by eloping, and didn’t tell me. I’m happy as can be, but only if you’re happy. And as for you getting married before me? This time, last time, any time. Who gives a flying fuck!?”

  “Oh, please…” she started to say, but I put my hand up.

  “No, I’m not finished.” I stepped forward, my face now a fraction of an inch from hers. “You know nothing about Nick and me, and marriage isn’t even in the picture for us, so I don’t care that you’re married. And as for Charles? I’d pick him in a heartbeat over you for a business partner. Why? Because he’s a professional, and he’d never pull this crap. If I’d chosen you over him, I can one hundred percent guarantee you that he and I would not be having this conversation.” I stepped back.

  “Bullshit.”

  “No, it’s not.” I stabbed at the air, pointing toward the door to the kitchen. “Get out, before I fire you.”

  “Don’t tell me what to do,” she spat.

  Then Lola stood from her bed, hair raised on her back, and growled.

  I looked at Lola, then back at Jackie. “It’s best you leave now.”

  “I’m done here. I don’t need this job anyway.” Jackie turned on her heel and walked out. She turned back and said, “Just thought you should know, after talking with Cortnie about this case, I can tell you, Skinner may love his wife, but I promise you, he loves Rayna more.”

  Her words shocked me into silence.

  I knew Uta would be in the kitchen with Jackie’s handbag and when Jackie pushed open the door, I saw her standing there. She handed Jackie her purse, took her set of work keys, and walked her to the back door. Before I could walk over to calm Lola, Uta was in my office.

  “Jackie didn’t have any pending cases. She hasn't touched a file since she’s been back, and hasn’t called on any of the cases I’ve given her. I’m not sure what she’s been doing in her office, but it hasn’t been working.” Uta handed me Jackie’s key ring and left the office.

  “How do you feel about this?” I asked Charles, who I could feel standing behind me.

  “Bitc
h be crazy. How do you feel?” Charles said.

  “I don’t know yet.” I plopped down on my desk chair. “She’s been so different since she got back. And to push off her work like that, it’s not like her. She hasn’t invited me to the house to have dinner with the family, either. I knew something was up. She’ll get over it. I’ll just wait her out. When she’s ready to talk, she’ll call.”

  “And if she wants her job back?” he asked.

  “If she’s my old Jackie, it’s there for her,” I said decisively.

  There was no arguing with that tone. He let it go.

  “Cortnie,” I yelled, knowing she was on the other side of the door, listening.

  She waited a few seconds, pretending she wasn’t actually standing there, and opened the door to reenter the room.

  “Now, back to the business at hand.” I pointed to the chair for Cortnie to sit. “How do you want to handle this Skinner thing?”

  “I can look into Bucky’s history. I know a lot of the people he knows. I can check a little closer into Emmet’s history. I mean, did you see that girl in the passenger seat? She could have been Bucky’s daughter, or granddaughter.”

  “I can check down at City Hall, or have a chat with Nick and see what kind of friends Bucky had downtown.” I was chomping at the bit to get started on something, anything to get my mind off Jackie.

  “That would be more my area of expertise,” Charles said. “I can hack into the city’s system, see what Bucky was up to from his work computer, and find his IP address from his home computer. I’ll see what he searched online, and what his finances looked like.”

  “Okay, I guess I can go back and talk to Rayna, Pam, and even have a talk with Skinner, and maybe his wife,” I offered.

  “And we are doing all of this with Nick’s approval?” Cortnie asked, looking from Charles to me and back.

  ***

  By mid-afternoon, Nick and Gabe had processed the murder scene with Salinas PD CSU, and Nick had called, wanting to meet for lunch. Normally, I’d be thrilled about this, but I didn’t know if he’d tell me to back away from the case, or admonish me for getting involved in yet another case with the agency that ended up in a murder investigation. I’d agreed to meet him at a new place that had opened on South Main Street only because I was starving, and I knew he’d pay. Okay, I’d probably offer to pay, but I was starving, and he was my favorite lunch date.