Love's Melody Lost

by Radclyffe

  "Now, both of you drink some of this tea," she instructed. "Theres biscuits there as well." She poured two cups, guiding Grahams hand to them, and turned to leave. Annas face was white, but the eyes she fixed on Grahams face appeared free of pain. Neither woman noticed as Helen pulled the door gently closed behind her.

  "Anna?" Graham asked uncertainly, leaning forward on the edge of the bed, "Are you all right?"

  "Im much better now," Anna answered softly. Graham had a welt under her right eye and a scrape on her chin where a tree limb had struck her. Even worse were the many little cuts on her hands. Thank god none of them appeared serious. "You really shouldnt be doing that sort of thing with your hands, you know. Theyre too precious."

  "Yes, well so are you," Graham replied in a moment of unguarded honesty. She was still shaken from the accident, and not being able to see Anna, to assure herself she was truly all right, was driving her mad. She attempted to rein in her emotions, teasing lightly, "I promise I wont do it again if you promise to stay away from falling trees."

  "On my honor," Anna whispered. Grahams tenderness after their weeks of estrangement, combined with the memory of her kiss moments before, had her emotions in turmoil. She needed Grahams comfort, and here she was, gentle and attentive.

  "You should rest now," Graham murmured. She edged closer carefully, finding Annas hand with her own. She traced the fragile network of veins with her sensitive fingertips, allowing her hands to trail slowly up Annas bare arms. Anna lay transfixed, scarcely able to breathe. She had the feeling that Graham was not aware of her actions, and that as soon as Graham realized what she was doing, she would stop. Anna fervently did not want her to stop. Now that Graham had relaxed her rigid vigilance, Anna felt the full power of Grahams emotional intensity for the first time. The possessive look on Grahams face combined with the touch of her hands was melting her with longing. The heat rising in her body overpowered the pain of her bruises.

  "I have some pills for the pain," Graham said at length. She held Annas hand against her cheek, her fingers folded about Annas. She was very slowly brushing the backs of Annas fingers against her skin.

  "I dont need them," Anna whispered, her throat tight with desire.

  Graham brought one hand to Annas face and slowly ran a few strands of her hair through her fingers. It was so soft, silken - mesmerizing in its simple beauty. She wanted nothing more than to sit here like this with Anna safe beside her.

  "You should sleep. Ill be here," she murmured.

  Anna drew a shuddering breath. Graham was so tender, and her touch was piercing. Anna knew she had never been touched like this before.

  "You should go, Graham," Anna said with effort. She couldnt bear the thought of Graham leaving, but Graham had been through as much as she. The hand that held hers trembled. "You look exhausted."

  "Not yet," Graham said in a tone that broached no argument.

  "Then at least lie down with me," Anna demanded boldly, "or I wont sleep either."

  Graham frowned. "You are rather pig-headed yourself," she remarked darkly. No one had ever been able to sway her the way Anna seemed to. Not even Christine with all her wiles had been as hard to resist.

  "Im serious, Graham," Anna persisted, detecting a rare moment of weakness in Grahams usually impenetrable defenses. "Either you lie down with me or Ill stay awake, too."

  Graham could not bring herself to leave, although she refused to consider why. With a sigh of exasperation she stretched out beside Anna, her back against the broad head-board, one arm around Annas shoulders.

  "All right now," Graham insisted, "close your eyes."

  Almost instinctively, Anna moved so that she was reclining in Grahams arms, her cheek against Grahams chest. She wrapped her uninjured arm around Grahams waist and closed her eyes. To her amazement, she soon began to drift.

  "Dont leave," she murmured groggily. If she hadnt been compromised by physical and emotional stress, she never would have asked.

  "I wont," Graham promised, kissing the top of her head. If she hadnt been so recently terrified for Annas life, she never would have stayed.

  **********

  It was fully dark when Anna opened her eyes. Graham was still beside her, her cheek resting against Annas hair, one hand rhythmically stroking the bare skin of her shoulder. In her sleep Anna had thrown one leg over Grahams, and she lay tightly pressed to her now. Anna knew she was wet, and wondered if Graham could feel it. Anna shifted beneath the light sheet so her breasts rested more fully against Grahams chest. She was rewarded with a swift gasp from Graham.

  "Graham," she whispered, raising herself until their lips were nearly touching. She could feel the heat radiate from Graham now, too. Graham was scarcely breathing, straining for control. Anna shifted deliberately until her entire length rested upon Grahams body. Her nipples tensed, and she rubbed them slowly back and forth across Graham's chest. When Anna rocked against Grahams leg, a fine shudder passed through Grahams form. Relentless now with need, Anna slipped one hand along the front of Grahams trousers, trailing her fingers down Graham's thigh.

  "Make love to me," Anna whispered in a voice husky with desire. "Please, Graham, please -I need you so much."

  "I cant," Graham choked, shaking with the effort to contain her arousal.

  Annas hand pressed into Graham's thigh, sliding higher with deliberate strokes.

  "Oh god, Annadont," Graham groaned, her hips rising to Anna's touch of their own volition. She was losing focus, the aching in her pelvis traveling in waves into her belly and beyond. "You cant know what youre asking!"

  Graham was wet against Anna's palm where she held her, and Anne saw a hunger in Graham's face that was undeniable. She sensed Grahams fear and resistance too, but she was too far gone to care. Anna was completely at the mercy of her own driving need, motivated by an instinct as essential as that to breathe.

  "I do know what Im asking," she gasped, " and so do you! Do you want me to beg?"

  Graham hesitated still, her head pounding, trying to ignore the building pressure to move against Annas hand. Her body was in mutiny. She was afraid she might come at the slightest touch. "Anna, youre hurt!" she protested weakly.

  "All I can feel is how much I need you to touch me. I'm ready to explode - I'm so swollen - oh, god - Graham-- " Anna groaned through a haze of overwhelming need, her body surging against the reed slender woman in her arms. She caught Grahams hand and brought it to the aching fullness of her breast. "Please-"

  With that touch Grahams restraint broke at last. She yielded to a tidal wave of lust with a strangled cry. Her hands were upon Anna with a force that took the breath from Annas body. Sweeping like wildfire down the planes of Annas abdomen, along her thighs, ascending just as quickly to stroke her neck and breasts, Grahams touch stirred a searing heat that set Annas nerve ends burning. She felt herself dissolving into molten liquid, her speech reduced to small cries that became incoherent whimpers as her body arched to Graham, desperately offering all of herself. Grahams lips were on her neck, murmuring her name like a benediction. She eased her body over Annas, brushing the covers aside, one hand seeking between Anna's legs. She thrilled to the welcoming warmth, parting the engorged lips, groaning as she slipped into Annas silken depths. She clenched her jaw, willing herself to go slowly, struggling with the shattering urge to claim Anna with all the power of her passion.

  "Oh god, Graham," Anna cried out as Graham filled her, willing her deeper, thrusting to contain all of her. Grahams mouth bruised her lips, the fabric of Grahams shirt chaffed her swollen nipples, and the exquisite motion of Grahams fingers within her inflamed her senses.

  "Oh, no," she gasped urgently as her hips began to rock involuntarily. Her clit was tingling, jumping with the rhythm of Graham's thrusting fingers. Oh god - not so soon! "Graham wait!" It was already too late. Muscles clenched and tightened, she sobbed as her body, long denied, found release. She clutched Grahams shoulders, strangling on her own throaty cries. Endlessly, her peaked, only to be driv
en to a higher plateau by the insistent stroking of Grahams finely tuned hands, until she lay exhausted, able only to murmur, "Enough, my darling, Ill die from you."

  Graham laughed gently, her fingers quieting, but not withdrawing. She settled Anna firmly against her, breathing into her hair, "Oh no, love, you wont die from this. Never from this."

  Through a curtain of languorous fatigue, Anna saw Grahams dark eyes upon her face, tender and deep with passion. To see her so stopped the breath in her throat, she loved her so much. Anna pressed closer to her, whispering, "Just hold me, please."

  "Anything," Graham murmured as Anna drifted into sleep.

  ********** Anna awakened slowly, her body still pulsing with sensation. Graham still held her tightly. She lay with her eyes closed, savoring the sweet satisfaction of Grahams nearness and the lingering aftermath of their lovemaking. She didnt move when she felt a featherlight touch upon her cheek, remaining silent as Grahams fingers traced her face. As gently as butterflies on spring blossoms, Graham stroked her brows, each eyelid, and the line of her lips and nose. With both hands she cupped Annas face, her thumbs brushing across the bones of her cheek to sweep along her jaw and chin. A fingertip pressed against the pulse beating in her neck, then moved to circle the curve of her ear. When at last the gently probing hands quieted on her skin, Anna questioned softly, "Can you see me?"

  Graham smiled faintly. "Yes."

  "You make me feel beautiful," Anna confessed shyly.

  "You are beautiful, Anna." Graham kissed her softly, reverently.

  Anna smiled, then stretched indolently, trying to dispel the intoxicating lethargy Grahams touch induced. She shifted on the bed, one hand resting on Grahams abdomen. Muscles fluttered beneath her fingers. Being this close to Graham kept her constantly aroused. It was a new experience, one that left her breathless. Graham, ever sensitive, raised one questioning eyebrow.

  "What is it?"

  "I want to look at youall of you," Anna replied, tugging at Grahams shirt, brushing her fingers along the taut muscles beneath. She slipped her hand beneath the waistband of the tailored linen trousers, her pulse racing as Graham groaned and shuddered faintly at the touch.

  "Let me touch you," Anna whispered against Graham's neck. Anna's need to have this enigmatic woman was as great as her need to be taken by her just a short time ago.

  Graham flushed, but sat up slightly and began to unbutton her shirt. She shrugged the soft material from her shoulders and reached for the zipper on her trousers. Annas hand grasped hers as Anna whispered, "Let me."

  Graham raised her hips as Anna slid the last of her clothing away.

  "God, youre perfect," Anna breathed, gazing at the sweeping planes of Grahams long form. As slowly as she knew how, Anna began to touch her, lingering over each curve and hollow of her body, exploring her with her hands and lips. Anna wanted to make this moment last forever, and even as Grahams breathing quickened, her body undulating under Annas caresses, Anna went slowly. With her mouth she began a slow descent from Grahams neck, teasing each nipple before she traced a path down Grahams quivering abdomen. Graham opened before her, arching gently up to meet her tongue, her breath rasping in her throat. As Annas lips drew on her engorged clitoris, she moaned softly, her fingers entwining in Annas hair. Anna had never known such tender power before. She thrilled to her ability to please this woman who had given her such exquisite pleasure. Her tongue stroked each ripe fold, moving with the surges of Grahams body, matching her rhythm to that of her beloved. She was drunk with the taste of her, drowning in her rich nectar.

  Graham groaned, grasped Anna's hands tightly, and arched against her lips. "Ah, Anna - my love," she whispered brokenly, finally giving in to the relentless driving pressure to come.

  Anna struggled to hear her through the deafening roar of her own raging lust. She moaned with each quake that rippled through Grahams body, holding fast to the slender hips until Graham quieted. Were it not for Graham calling her name, she would have gladly stayed there, senses overflowing, for time out of mind. Eventually Graham's hands gently drawing her upwards brought her back to herself.

  "Come here," Graham whispered, "let me feel you close to me."

  Anna moved to lie beside her, her heart contracting at the sight of tears streaking Grahams cheeks. She thought she might come apart. She wanted so much to ease the pain Graham had suffered for so long. Softly she brushed the tears away. Her lips caressed the scar on Grahams brow, lingering over each translucent eyelid. Grahams lips parted in silent pleasure and a long sigh escaped her.

  "You make me feel more than I ever imagined possible," Anna murmured against the ivory column of Grahams neck. "Its almost more than my heart can contain."

  Graham caressed her gently as Anna slipped once more into satisfied sleep. Graham lay quietly for a long time, trying to absorb every sensation, every sound, every scent that was Anna. She filled her heart, and her mind, and her memory with her. At last she slipped from the bed, leaning down to softly kiss the sleeping woman.

  "You are more beautiful than any music I have ever heard," she whispered.

  **********

  The sun rose over Yardleys grand expanses, but the brilliance of the changing dawn colors was lost on the woman who stood high above the sea. The brisk ocean breeze tossed her hair into her eyes, but she did not lift a hand to shield them. The tears on her face were not from the wind, nor the shivering in her body from the piercing cold. In the long years of her exile, she had never been so alone. Her defenses had been breached, her heart wrent by the gentle touch of a womans lips. She remembered with shattering clarity each sensation - the longing, and the wonder, and the miracle of communion, body and soul. She could not drive the memory of the past from her thoughts - the complete desolation of the spirit she had suffered when Christine left her. She feared that ultimately her need would force Anna to leave her, too. She knew with utter certainty that this would be a pain she could not bear a second time in her life. Despite the years, the wounds still bled, and she could not banish the fear. She had not sought this love, in fact she had hidden herself from the very possibility of it all this time. She cried for what she had done, and what she must do. Finally, she returned to the house to await Annas awakening, and to seal her own fate.

  Anna knew instinctively as she reached out that she was alone.

  "Graham?" she called.

  "Im here, Anna," Graham answered from her place by the window. "How do you feel?

  Anna rolled over and pushed herself up in bed. She regarded Graham carefully. She had grown too used to the nuances of Grahams posture and tone of voice not to know when she was distressed.

  "Im stiff, and sore just about everywhere, but nothing feels serious," she replied cautiously.

  "Good," Graham sighed. She gathered herself for the hardest words she would ever say. "Anna, I must talk to you about last night."

  Anna closed her eyes, her stomach tightening. Last night she didnt need to thinkall she knew was the joy of Grahams presence. She didnt need to think now to know she had been more deeply moved by Grahams touch than any other event in her life. She didnt need words to capture the ecstasy of loving this woman. Her skin still tingled from the stroke of Grahams hands, her body stirred with desire at the sight of her. She loved her, more passionately than she would have believed possible. Graham Yardley had claimed her, willingly or notheart, body and soul.

  "You dont need to say anything, Graham," Anna replied. "Last night, with you, was more beautiful than anything Ive ever experienced. No one has ever touched me -"

  Graham interrupted her harshly. She could not bear to hear these words! "Anna, you were hurt, vulnerableyou needed comforting! II was frightenedI forgot myself. It wasnt meant. Im sorry."

  "What are you saying? Are you trying to tell me last night was some kind of mistake ?!" Anna asked incredulously. She stared at Graham uncomprehendingly. "You cant mean that! For Gods sake, Graham-"

  "We were both frightened, exhausted - I took advantage," G
raham stated flatly.

  "Graham! I asked you into my bedIve been wanting, needing you, for so long! God Graham! I love you," Anna cried vehemently.

  Graham groaned. "AnnaAnna, you must not!" She drew a deep breath, her face set. "Last night should never have happened. I have no desire for it to be repeated. I do not want that kind of relationship with you."

  "And you expect me to simply forget it? What we shared- the way it felt to touch you?" Anna questioned grimly, her hurt and bewilderment giving way to anger. "And what am I supposed to do with my feelings for you, Graham? Am I to ignore them the way you seem to be able to? "

  Graham gave no sign that Annas words affected her at all. "There can be no question of anything other than a friendship between us. If Ive misled you, I apologize."

  Anna wanted to scream; part of her wanted to beg. How could she be alone in this? She had felt love in Grahams touchshe had heard it as Graham whispered her name! She stared at Graham, a cold hand gripping her heart. "Are you sure?" she asked at last.

  "Im quite sure." Her face betrayed not a flicker of emotion.

  "Then Ill be leaving Yardley as soon as I can make arrangements," Anna replied hollowly, her mind numb with pain.

  Graham clenched her hands, steeling herself against the crushing desolation. "Of course, if you think you must."

  Anna watched her cross to the door, knowing this might be the last time she saw her. As Grahams hand touched the knob, Anna said coldly, "Damn you for a coward, Graham Yardley! How can you do this!"

  Graham faltered for a second before wordlessly closing the door gently behind her.

  **********

  "At least tell me whats shes done!" Helen cried frantically as she watched Anna pile boxes into the back of her Jeep.

  "She hasnt done anything," Anna replied woodenly. "Shes exactly the same as shes always been - I was the one who made the mistake."

  "Let me talk to her," Helen pleaded. "Just tell me what happened!"

  Anna stifled a laugh that verged on tears. She felt dangerously out of control. Poor Helen, this is almost as hard on her as it is on me! The only one who seems unaffected is Graham.