Falling for his ANGEL_A Rock Star Romance

by Megan Hetherington

  He was hungry and decided to stop at one of the delis where a sign advertising a corned beef sandwich caught his eye. Speculating if it was like the ones his mum made.

  He devoured the sandwich whilst continuing to look for familiar ground. Finally, he popped out of the tightly knitted grid of streets right behind their apartment. He stopped at the café near the entrance to the block and ordered two coffees to go. He had to take several sips of his straight away to try and alleviate the self-inflicted indigestion that had set in. Ramming the oversized sandwich down his throat, which contained enough corned beef to fill several homemade versions, had caused horrific pain in his chest.

  Finally, the hiccupping stopped and he opened the apartment door and tiptoed into the bedroom. Eliza was still asleep, making a really cute murmuring noise which indicated she was dreaming about something or other.

  He fantasised that she was thinking of him caressing her. Aroused, he silently undressed and slipped under the feather duvet at the foot of the bed.

  Nudging her legs open, he moved his mouth to the top of them, his breath heavy and hot.

  Her hand was already there, fingers moving over herself.

  His tongue joined in the party.

  Their coffee was cold when they finally came to drink it.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “Argh, what’s with all this traffic. We’re gonna be late?” Dirk moaned to their driver.

  “World Series. The Giants are playing,” replied the driver, with a lilt in his voice that insinuated surprise at their ignorance.

  “S’pose we should have known about that really,” Jonny added.

  None of them were sports fans, but any baseball or football game in America was big news and you would pretty much have to have your head up your arse not to know about the Baseball World Series right now.

  They arrived at the club. It was a small venue and their penultimate gig before leaving for Europe next week. They immediately set to, putting together their equipment in their usual fashion.

  “Crap!” Jonny exclaimed, “I’d forgotten I used the last of my spare strings.”

  Dirk checked the time on his watch. “Well I was gonna visit Hendy’s anyway at some point, to get a new travel case for my drum kit. If you two can finish setting up, I’ll go now before they close and pick you a pack up if you want? What do you use?”

  “Fender bullets, if they’ve got them. If not, any nickel plated lightweight.”

  “OK no worries.” Dirk rushed out of the club.

  Jonny and Eliza carried on with setting up and doing their own sound check. Jonny thought she was a little lack lustre. Not her usual self.

  “You ok?”

  “Yeah. Just didn’t sleep too well last night. Was having some weird dreams.”

  He went to hug her. “Oh I’m sorry angel. Do you want me to get you something?”

  “No I’m fine. We’ve only got two more gigs and then home for a rest.” She resumed setting up the equipment.

  Jonny was desperate to ask her whether he featured in her plans when they went back to Europe. If she didn’t want to continue their relationship, he was going to be devastated. It would be much worse than him not being part of a band, which was also a distinct possibility.

  Crash had made it clear they weren’t happy with him staying on in America and it was likely Kurt would want his position back with Karma Life. Not that anyone knew whether he was going to be fit to play again yet.

  Everything could turn out pretty horrible for Jonny. Especially after the high he had been on.

  He decided he couldn’t wait any longer. No time like the present. Psyching himself up, he walked across to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Holding her close for a few seconds, she leant back into him. Gently, he turned her round to face him; needing to look deep into her eyes.

  “Eliza, I… I don’t want to frighten you away, or make you feel trapped. But," he sucked in extra courage along with his breath, "I need you to know how I feel about you.”

  He paused to check on her reaction. She was smiling but nothing more. So he continued. “Ever since I saw you the first time at the Marquee I knew deep in my heart you were the one. Nobody else has ever come close. The time we have spent together over the last few months have been magical. I can’t imagine life without you.”

  Still no reaction.

  He was going to say it. He had to now.

  “Eliza, I love you and…," he grabbed out to her, "what the hell!!”

  He pulled her close, putting one hand on the back of her head and pushing it into his chest.

  Lurching from one foot to the other, his widened stance only just able to keep them both balanced and upright. It felt as if the whole world was being violently shaken from side to side.

  Jonny pulled Eliza to the floor, protecting her with his body.

  His guitar pitched off the stand, strings reverberating as they fell against the side of the stage. The mic fell over with a thud. Beer glasses from behind the security shuttered bar slid off their shelves and smashed onto the floor.

  Then the lights went out.

  Eliza screamed.

  Not knowing what else to do, Jonny pushed Eliza under a table for protection and scurried after her.

  Peeking out from their makeshift refuge he could see people running past the windows. Large pieces of masonry were falling off a building across the road, landing on parked cars. The crash as each pummelled into the steel bodies making Eliza flinch. He could hear children screaming, car alarms screeching, emergency sirens. And all the while the trembles and shudders continued.

  “What’s going on Jonny?” Eliza looked petrified. Her eyes wide open and wild, hands hovering above her head for extra protection.

  “Earthquake?” Jonny was unsure. He’d learnt the basics at school about geology and seemed to remember something about the San Andreas fault line in California. “I think it might be an earthquake. It’ll be over in a minute. We just need to stay here until it stops.”

  “Shouldn’t we go outside? What if this place collapses?”

  Jonny thought she looked like a frightened child, not the independent woman he had come to know and love. He wanted to make her feel safe.

  “No. Look at all the stuff falling onto cars out there. We’re better off in here.” He held her tighter. “I’ll make sure you’re safe. Always.”

  Eventually the shudders stopped and, after what seemed like a life time, Jonny decided to make a move.

  There were no noises that panicked him any longer. The clouds of dust that had been billowing past the window had settled, covering everything he could see with a fine grey powder.

  He slowly crawled out from under the table and stood up, beckoning to Eliza. “Come on. It’s stopped, we should go now.” He offered his hand down to the still cowering Eliza.

  The bar tender who had ran out into the back room at the first earthquake movement reappeared. Cautiously looking around the bar and out to the street.

  “Everyone ok?” His voice quavering.

  “Yeah. No thanks to you.” Jonny didn’t hide his annoyance at their host’s lack of assistance during the frightening scene they had just lived through.

  “Yeah sorry about that. Just instinct. Don’t think we’ll be open tonight. It’s carnage out there.” He nodded his head in the direction of the world they had yet to face. “If you wanna get off, we can sort out your stuff tomorrow?”

  Jonny wasn’t sure whether it was a question or a statement. Just nodding in reply. He needed to get Eliza out of there. Their sanctuary suddenly felt like a cave; oppressive and imprisoning.

  “If the other guy we were with - Dirk - tall, thin with a pony-tail, turns up. Can you tell him we’re back at the apartment?” Eliza asked of him.

  “Sure,” replied the bar tender as he ushered them out of the door.

  That wasn’t likely to happen though. He had turned off all the light switches, not that the lights were illuminated anyway, and was closely fol
lowing them out the door. Keys in hand. There was no way he would be back again that night.

  Outside, they stood spellbound, in awe at the scene. Wrecked cars and crumbled buildings. People sat at the kerb edge with their head in their hands. Some injured; some sobbing; some just in shock.

  They walked silently through the dust covered paths in the general direction of their neighbourhood. Stepping over debris when they came across it and fearful of an aftershock at any moment. Eliza tightly squeezing Jonny’s hand.

  It was dark when they finally made it to their apartment. A power cut meant there were no street or shop lights. It was an eerie journey. Only the moon helping them identify the labyrinth of avenues that were not overly familiar to them anyway.

  They let themselves in to the foyer of their apartment block and felt their way up the pitch black stairway. Jonny held his hands up in front of his face, feeling for the second door on the first landing. Eliza holding onto the back of his shirt as if she was desperate not to be left behind. Jonny remembered he had his Zippo in his jean pocket and lit to so he could get the key in the apartment door lock.

  Once in the apartment, Eliza called out for Dirk. There was no answer.

  Jonny lit the array of decorative candles Eliza had collected up from around the apartment, arranging them on the windowsill and on the hearth of the electric fireplace.

  He wheeled the paraffin heater from the cupboard in the hallway into the living room so he could light it to take the chill out of the air. The wheels squeaking in protest. It resisted being lit until the fifth attempt. The twisting and clicking down motion of the ignition dial echoing in the quiet apartment.

  She pulled the cushions off the chairs and brought in the duvet and pillows from their bedroom. Creating a cosy lair for them to spend the night.

  “Do you want a drink?” Eliza asked, taking one of the candles into the kitchen to aid her search through the cupboards.

  “Yeah, please.”

  Jonny lit a cigarette and took a long drag of the nicotine. He hadn’t had one since before the earthquake and was feeling quite anxious.

  “I’m starving too,” he called out to her.

  “There’s not a lot in,” Eliza shouted back.

  The three of them mainly ate out. None of them could really cook and neither were they keen on washing up. Anyway there were so many delis and cafés around their neighbourhood, it wasn’t an issue. As a result, pot noodles and cereal was about the only foodstuffs that made their way into the apartment.

  Eliza came back into the living room with a box of Cinnamon Grahams, a bag of peanuts and some ice-cream. Dumping the snacks on the floor she went back and reappeared with a bottle of Jack Daniels, a bag of ice and two glasses.

  “This’ll have to do. The freezer’s off so the ice cream will need eating anyway.”

  “Perfect. I’m just glad we’re alive and still able to eat this crap.”

  Jonny fiddled with the aerial on the battery operated radio, trying to tune it to one of the local stations. The reporter was interviewing people on the streets about their experiences. Jonny and Eliza had endured first-hand what it felt like to be in the earthquake. They had felt the shudders, seen its destruction and been in the aftermath. They didn’t want to re-live all of that again through other people’s traumas. They just wanted to know what had actually happened and more importantly if it was going to happen again. He retuned to one of the state stations.

  "Here we go.”

  He stopped twisting the dial and listened as the facts came streaming through to them. It had been a magnitude 6.9 earthquake on the San Andreas fault line. The epicentre was in Lomo Pieta peak in the Santa Cruz mountains. Sixty miles south-east of San Francisco. The official number of casualties and dead was unknown at present but estimated to be in the hundreds. The Nimitz double decked freeway had partially collapsed affecting transport links in and out of San Francisco, and signposted diversions were in place. Power was out in a large part of San Francisco but expected to be reinstated overnight. The San Francisco Giants World Series game had been stopped mid play and another date would be scheduled in due course. Some concrete had fallen from one of the spectator stands at the stadium and some fans had been injured.

  “Some serious shit! I think we were down right lucky tonight babe.”

  They each drank their first glass of bourbon straight down and Jonny poured them another.

  “Where the hell is Dirk?” Eliza sounded agitated, picking out an ice cube from her glass and crunching on it noisily.

  “He’ll be fine. He’ll be out there somewhere. Just not able to get back to here. He’s maybe checked into a motel or shacked up with one of the many girls he seems to have met since we’ve been here.”

  Eliza looked at him over her glass. “I’d like to agree, but just can’t easily accept it’s true. I’ve had a feeling all day that tells me otherwise.”

  “Look. There’s nothing we can do. We don’t know where to start looking for him. The club is shut. The hospitals will be full and we can’t get to any of them anyhow. We’re better off staying here and waiting for him to turn up. Which he will. Don’t worry.”

  She downed her second drink, licked her lips and held her glass out to be refilled.

  “Are you trying to drown out that feeling?”

  “Yeah it’s numbing with every sip I take and I’m not about to stop until it’s completely gone. Jonny. I was so scared today and I just wanted you to know how safe you made me feel. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

  Jonny felt the pang of emotion in his chest. He moved to her, hugging her into him. She continued. “When the accident first happened. When my parents were killed. I would get anxious all of the time. Afraid something horrible was going to happen to me and anyone else I cared about.”

  Jonny kissed her softly on top of her head, to reassure her he was there and he was listening.

  “I felt like it was my fault.”

  “Of course it wasn’t your fault.”

  “I know that now, but for many years I thought differently. If only I had stopped them from going to work that day. I still feel I can’t get close to anyone in case they are taken away. I just couldn’t bear to live through that again.”

  She paused to drink more of the bourbon. “I was a handful as a teenager. I used to stay out all night. Drinking. Taking drugs. I think I was really wanting my aunt and uncle to throw me out, so I didn’t have to love them anymore. It’s been like that with anyone I’ve become emotionally attached to. I… I push them away before it’s too late.”

  She turned around to look at him as if she was gauging his reaction. “I like being with you Jonny, but I needed you to know. So you can understand why sometimes I am a bit distant… before coming back to you.”

  Jonny gave her a loving squeeze and another kiss. “Eliza, try to stop worrying about it. We’re good together and it will all work out fine.”

  It wasn’t quite what he wanted to say, but didn’t want to belittle her childhood anguish. He really wanted to say it was over twenty years ago and it was about time she started trusting people. Trust him. To reassure her he wasn’t about to leave, and she should stop pushing him away. However, he knew it was an issue that couldn’t be resolved with words. Not from his unskilled emotional vocabulary anyway. He would just have to be there for her and hopefully she would wake up one day and the feeling of impending loss would be gone.

  They laid together on the floor. Eating and drinking the last dregs of the JD. Falling asleep before the candles burned out.

  ***

  Eliza was the first to wake. The heater had used up all of the paraffin and she was cold. Her head heavy with all the Jack Daniels they had drunk and the stress of the previous day.

  It still wasn’t light outside but the moon offered sufficient glow for her to make out the contents of the room. This rented apartment that had become their temporary home.

  Tucking the duvet under Jonny’s chin, she went in se
arch of a blanket to wrap around herself whilst she looked for some pain pills.

  She pushed opened the door to Dirk’s room and could see a throw on the wicker chair near the window. Wrapping it around her shoulders she wondered if he had any paracetamol or aspirin in his room. She looked around for any clues as to where he might store something like that.

  Next to his bed was a small chest of drawers. She sat on the unmade bed and opened the top drawer. Pushing around the contents she found a pack of condoms; some lube she identified as strawberry when she smelt it; and a cock ring. She threw it back in the drawer, hastily wiping her hand on the throw in revulsion.

  Pushing the drawer back in again, she mused what delights were in store for her in the next one down. Gingerly she pulled open the second drawer. There was a box of paracetamol. Lifting it out, she tapped it upside down until one of the foil covered strips fell out. Empty. Picking out the other strip it had just two tablets left in it.

  She was about to put the empty box back into the drawer when she noticed a photograph of Dirk’s daughter. She would be about four now, and this was a recent one. He hardly ever saw her. What with his job and the bitterness directed at him by the girl’s mother, his ex, Marjorie. They had named their daughter Floortje, meaning little flower in Dutch. And she was. Her small round face with rosy chubby cheeks and cute button nose. Blonde curly hair, still with a babyish downy look about it. Looking more like Dirk than her mother. Although Marjorie didn’t have much natural left anymore. Certainly not enough for anyone to recognise what Floortje had inherited from her.

  A single tear ran down Eliza’s face and dropped onto the photograph. What if…? She carefully wiped the photograph with her t-shirt, placing it back under the empty packet in his second drawer.

  Placing the tablets one at a time on the back of her tongue, she swallowed them whole. Looking out onto the street below she could see the lights were back on. She stood for a while contemplating what each family in the neighbourhood was waking up to that day. How many had loved ones missing or worse?