Phoenix

by Linda Warren

  Mrs. Devers handed him another diaper. “Put this over his little wee-wee so he doesn’t pee on you.”

  Phoenix did as instructed.

  “Take the top of the diaper and wipe down under his wee-wee.”

  He did it quickly, trying not to breathe. She handed him a baby wipe, and he wiped Jake’s bottom clean and whipped another diaper under him and had it secured in seconds. He felt like raising up his arms in victory. He hadn’t thrown up. He’d done it.

  The rest of the morning was a lesson in taking care of Jake, and Phoenix listened avidly. Soon Ms. Bauer arrived, and they left to go to the hearing to make Jake legally his. As he walked to the door, a strange feeling came over him, and he glanced back at Jake, who was playing with the little girl on the floor. He didn’t want to leave his child. The parenting thing was settling in. He could do this. He could be a father.

  He arrived at the hearing to learn that he had a lawyer. Rather, the deceased Mrs. Green had a lawyer and was handling Jake’s case. The lawyer had a file he presented to the judge, which contained depositions from neighbors and people who knew Valerie. The judge asked Phoenix a few questions and then terminated Valerie’s maternal rights, and Phoenix gained full custody. It didn’t take long, but it seemed like a year had passed by the time he walked out of the courtroom.

  They then went to the lawyer’s office. Phoenix found out that Mrs. Green had a small savings account, and it had been put in trust for Jake’s college education. He signed papers to become executor of the trust.

  As Ms. Bauer drove them to Mrs. Green’s house, she told him Valerie had almost bankrupted the old lady. The woman had to sell her home to pay off credit cards and loan sharks. She then rented a small house for herself, where Valerie stayed from time to time when she had nowhere else to go. But her grandmother absolutely refused to give her any more money.

  The house was very neat, and everything was in its place. Jake’s room was blue and white, and the bed was a warm honey color. Phoenix smiled at the sight. He almost took a picture to show Rosie. But Rosie would not be interested in seeing his son’s room. A sad thought that chased the smile away.

  Ms. Bauer brought a big box, and Phoenix put in a lot of toys and things he thought Jake would need, mostly clothes. Then he found Jake’s baby book. He thumbed through it, eagerly watching his son grow in the arms of an elderly woman who clearly loved him. Tears stung the backs of his eyes. He put the album and other baby photos in the box and labeled it. They carried it to the post office to mail to Texas.

  He had a flight out at five, so he had to hurry to get Jake and make it to the airport. Mrs. Devers had already packed Jake’s few belongings. He thanked the Devers for taking such good care of Jake and then lifted Jake into his arms and walked out the door. He’d thought Jake would cry, but he didn’t. After strapping Jake into the car seat in Ms. Bauer’s car, they were off to the airport.

  Jake did well on the flight, even though they were delayed an hour. Phoenix finally gave him the truck and trailer and horses. He didn’t want to do that at the house because he didn’t have anything for the other children. After the plane took off, the stewardess allowed Jake to play with the toy set in front of the seat because they had the front row and there was a little room. Soon Jake grew tired, and he crawled onto Phoenix’s lap as if he had done it many times before.

  Phoenix gathered him close. “We’re going to Texas, son. To a big ranch with horses, cows…”

  “Horse,” Jake interrupted, holding up the toy in his hand.

  “Yes, horse. You’ll meet your uncles, aunts, cousins, grandpa and grandma.”

  “Ma Ma,” Jake looked around the plane, and tears filled his eyes when he didn’t see his greatgrandmother. “Ma Ma.”

  “No, another grand—” He was afraid to say the rest of it. He didn’t want to make Jake cry. “You see, I have a mother, and she will be another grandmother for you. Do you understand?”

  Jake just stared at him with sad eyes. Of course he didn’t understand. That was okay. In time he would. Phoenix felt sure of that.

  Jake sat in his lap and played with the horses. A smile touched Phoenix’s lips. Rosie was wrong. His kid liked horses. He would be just like Phoenix. He was going to enjoy telling her that.

  He had a window seat and looked out at the fluffy clouds. He could walk on those clouds more easily than he could change Rosie’s mind about him. Too much bad blood between the families. But he sure liked her. And he was going to introduce her to Jake just as soon as he could.

  Chapter Five

  Rosie spent Sunday doing laundry. She’d installed a washer and dryer in the barn for convenience. One of these days, she would have a home with a washer and dryer in it. That was one of her goals for the future.

  She then washed out the horse trailer and took care of the horses. She had two more mares that she rode occasionally, but Golden Lady was her favorite. When she was away from the circuit, she practiced and practiced because winning was her livelihood.

  Soon she would have to look for another piece of land, which was too bad because she’d fallen in love with the tall oaks on this property, the quietness and the seclusion. Her closest neighbor was a mile away. Sometimes it was lonely and that’s when she got out and worked around the place. Then she was too tired to care.

  There were electricity and water on the property, and that was a big plus. When she was at home, she plugged into the electricity and didn’t have to worry about the generator. She unrolled the awning over the door and had a table and chairs outside so it wasn’t so crowded. With the winter months coming it would be hard to eat outside.

  Through the weekend she couldn’t get Phoenix Rebel out of her mind. She still couldn’t believe she’d run into him.

  She fixed iced tea and carried it outside to the table. Dixie jumped up onto her lap and she stroked the small dog. Since it was Monday, Phoenix should be home with his son, and she wondered how he was coping. She tried to force those thoughts away, but they kept intruding like bugs at a picnic.

  There was just something about him that she couldn’t ignore. Maybe it was his trigger-finger smile. Or maybe his never-give-up attitude. It was something and it was driving her crazy. She had to stop thinking about him.

  She lived on a county road southeast of Temple, and it wasn’t far from the McCray property. So many times she’d wanted to go home just to see if her father had forgiven her, but she always resisted the urge because she knew Ira McCray never forgave anyone. Ever.

  She didn’t know why she wanted to go home, because there was nothing there for her anymore. Her mother had passed away and her sister, Maribel, was nowhere to be found. Their father had kicked her out, because she’d gotten pregnant in high school, and Rosie was forbidden to have any contact with her. But now there was no man telling Rosie what she could or couldn’t do. Some day she would find her sister.

  Her brothers had their own lives and thought little of Rosie and her predicament. They never offered her any help when their father insisted she marry a man twice her age.

  Dixie jumped off her lap to chase a squirrel, her favorite pastime. The place had lots of squirrels in the big oaks. They played in the yard and munched on the acorns and it drove Dixie crazy. Dixie got lots of exercise when they were home.

  Home.

  The word had a nice ring to it. But would she ever feel at home again?

  *

  IT WAS LATE when Phoenix drove into the yard at the bunkhouse. He’d called his mother and told her she would have to wait until Tuesday morning to meet Jake because he was asleep. She didn’t like it. The family was coming at him from all sides. Quincy had called three times. Jude called. Paxton called. They all thought he couldn’t handle being a father and wanted to help. For some reason he didn’t want their help. He could do this alone.

  He carried the diaper bag and Jake into the dark house, leaving the rest until morning. Quietly he made his way to his room and closed the door. Then he turned on the light. Jake wa
s out, but he had to get him in his pajamas for the night. Changing a sleeping baby was an exercise in patience. It was like trying to dress a snake. Finally he had Jake tucked into the new baby bed. Jericho had set it up. Then he noticed a small chest of drawers in the corner and a trash can for diapers. His mother had been here. There was no doubt.

  Phoenix sat on the bed, his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands. Was he doing the right thing? Could he take care of Jake? Could he be a good father? He was used to having fun and looking out for himself, and now Jake needed someone to be responsible for him. That was daunting to Phoenix, who never had much responsibility in his whole life.

  He stood and brushed the hair from Jake’s forehead. “We’re in this together, son.”

  With that thought in mind, he stripped out of his clothes and went to bed, ready to face the following day with family crowding in on him.

  *

  AFTER BREAKFAST THE next morning, Phoenix got his overnight bag out of the truck. He’d stuffed some of Jake’s clothes and toys inside. Their living quarters were going to be crowded from now on.

  He gave Jake a bath and dressed him for the day in pull-up pants, a T-shirt and sneakers. He had to buy his son some jeans and soon. His son would wear jeans and boots.

  Phoenix carried Jake into the living area to the toys he’d brought in. Paxton was on the sofa working on his bull rope. Jericho had left for work early.

  “Watch Jake for a minute so I can take a shower.”

  Paxton looked at his nephew on the floor. “What?”

  “Watch him, Pax. Don’t let him out of your sight.”

  “We’re in the living room. Where can he go?”

  “Just watch him.” Phoenix headed to the bathroom and showered and changed clothes as fast as he could. When he went into the living room, Paxton was still working on his bull rope and Jake wasn’t there.

  “Where’s Jake?”

  Paxton’s head jerked up. “What? He was just here.”

  “Well, he’s not here now.” Phoenix noticed the front door was open and he ran for it, knowing Jake had found a way out. Damn! Outside, he looked both ways and saw Jake near the big barn, toddling as fast as he could go.

  “Jake!” Phoenix shouted and ran to his son. He scooped him into his arms and held him tight and realized he was shaking. He’d only had his son a few hours, but the thought of losing him twisted his gut into a pretzel.

  “Ma Ma,” Jake said.

  Phoenix patted Jake’s back. “I understand, son.” Phoenix didn’t know how to make his son’s pain better, and he hoped that in time Jake would forget. Not that he wanted him to forget his greatgrandmother. He just wanted him to forget the pain of losing her.

  Paxton caught up with them. “You found him.”

  “Yes. He could have gotten trampled by horses or cows or run over by a truck. Honestly, Paxton, sometimes you make me so mad.”

  “I’m sorry. I just took my eyes off him for a minute.”

  They walked toward the bunkhouse. “They told me that he’s a runner,” Phoenix said. “If he can get out a door, he will run, looking for his greatgrandmother. I should’ve told you.”

  “I’m not watching him anymore. That’s too much responsibility for this free-living cowboy.”

  “Watching a chicken is too much responsibility for you.”

  “Hey!”

  He changed Jake’s diaper, and then they were ready to go to the big house. He slung the strap of the diaper bag over his shoulder and knew in the next few weeks the bag would become his BFF. Have bag. Can change diaper without throwing up. He should have that stitched on it in bold letters.

  Picking up his son, he said, “We’re going to see your other grandmother.”

  Jake twisted his hands. “Dad-dy.”

  Looking at his son’s precious face, he realized he’d forgotten to comb Jake’s hair. He reached into the diaper bag and found the comb in the side pocket. With more skill than he’d thought he had, he combed his son’s hair, only to have it fall right back in his eyes. He had to get it cut, and there was no way to do that before visiting with his mother.

  Paxton followed them to the house, and as they went through the back door, he heard voices. Jude must be up. When he walked in, the room became very quiet.

  “Oh, my, look at that baby.” His mother came toward them with her hands outstretched. Jake turned away and buried his face in Phoenix’s shoulder.

  “He’s a little shy. You’ll have to give him time.”

  Jude got up and came toward them. “Your son is shy? He doesn’t get that from you.”

  Elias and Grandpa were also at the table. A truck door slammed and soon his brother Egan, with his son Justin in a carrier, and his wife Rachel were in the room. Phoenix walked into the den to give Jake a little breathing space. And himself, too. Soon Quincy and Jenny came in, followed by Leah and Falcon and their year-and-half-old son, John.

  Phoenix sat on the sofa with Jake in his lap. “You have to give him some time. He’s a little nervous right now. I don’t think he’s ever been around this many people.”

  “We just want to see him,” Quincy said. “We’ll give him plenty of time to adjust.”

  John toddled over to them. Jake had a toy horse in his hand and he held it out to John saying, “Horse.”

  John took it and ran toward his mother. Jake immediately scrambled off Phoenix’s lap and went after his horse. Oh, no. Please don’t hit John, Phoenix silently prayed. He was on his feet to stop it.

  Jake tried to pull the horse away from John, but John held on. Then he did exactly what he was doing at Mrs. Devers’s. He hit John, and Leah came unglued.

  “He hit my baby! Falcon, do something.” She grabbed her son and cuddled him as if he was a baby. Before Falcon could move, John pushed against his mother until she put him down again. He then ran to Jake, who took off and the two of them ran around the sofa, giggling. Once Jake stopped, John tackled him, and they rolled around on the floor, giggling that much more.

  “What are they doing?” Leah asked.

  “They’re being little boys,” Falcon told her. “That’s what little boys do, and that’s how they play.”

  “Well, I don’t like it.”

  Falcon put an arm around his wife. “Honey, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re making a momma’s boy out of him.”

  At that moment, Jake finally saw the baby in the carrier Egan was holding. “Ba-by.” He pointed and ran over to it.

  Egan immediately raised the carrier higher, and that made Phoenix mad. He picked up his son and showed him the baby. “This is your cousin, Justin.”

  “Ba-by.” He leaned over as if he wanted to kiss it.

  “Do you want to kiss baby Justin?”

  He leaned farther over, and Egan pushed the carrier closer. Jake kissed Justin’s cheek. “Ba-by.”

  “He’s not going to hurt him, Egan,” Phoenix had to say for his own peace of mind. “He gets a little aggressive when something is taken from him, which I think only started when his greatgrandmother passed away. I’m hoping it will change when he knows that I love him and I’m never leaving him.”

  “It was just a gut reaction.”

  Phoenix accepted the apology and knew it was time to leave. “Jake’s had enough family for the morning.”

  His brothers said goodbye and filed out of the house, except Quincy and Jenny and Jude.

  As Elias passed Phoenix, he threw an arm across Phoenix’s shoulders. “You find a lot of ways to get out of work, but this is a brand-new one. But since it’s such a good one, I’ll do your work today.”

  Elias was always razzing him about getting all the easy jobs because he was their mother’s favorite.

  “Thanks.”

  Grandpa stopped and touched Jake’s head. Phoenix was surprised his son didn’t pull away. “I’m your great-grandpa. Can you say Grandpa?”

  “Pa.”

  “Yep.” Grandpa gave a crooked smile, and Phoenix hoped he wasn’t going
to spiral off into one of his long stories. “You and me are going to be good friends, and I’ll tell you lots of stories about your daddy.”

  “Dad-dy.”

  “Come on, Grandpa,” Elias called. “I’ll take you back to your house before I go to work.”

  Grandpa winked at Jake. “I’ll see you later, little whippersnapper.”

  Quincy and Jenny were the next to leave and, as always, Quincy had something to say. “Jenny and I were talking, and if you need someone to keep Jake while you’re on the circuit, we’d be happy to.”

  “Jake stays with me. I’m not leaving him anywhere. He’s been through enough and I wouldn’t do that to him. Besides, Jenny is pregnant and needs to get as much rest as possible.”

  Quincy nodded. “Okay, but if you change your mind, just let us know.”

  “I told him that.” Jenny kissed Jake’s cheek. “But we’re here if you need us.”

  Phoenix’s patience was wearing thin like an old rope that had been used too many times. Before he walked out the door, though, he had to face his mother and another argument.

  He turned to look at his mother’s troubled brown eyes, and his resolve weakened. Falcon and Jude had raised their children in the house so their mother could help with them. But this was different. His family didn’t think he could raise Jake alone. That’s what bothered him.

  “Jude got the baby bed out of the attic, and I put it up in my room,” his mother was saying. “I just assumed Jake would stay with me while you’re on the circuit. That’s no place for a baby.”

  This was round three, and Phoenix had to get through it without wavering. “Like I told Quincy, Jake stays with me at all times. He needs to know that I’m not going to leave him. That’s important to me. And to Jake.”

  “Son, babies adjust easily. Jake knows you’re his father and that’s not going to change, but you need to think of what’s best for Jake.”

  “I am.” He stood his ground. “I’m taking him back to the bunkhouse. Meeting so many people has been hard on him. It needs to be the two of us for a while.”