Emotionally Bulletproof--Scott's Story (Book 1)
Page 21
After making copies, circle a number that represents how you see yourself on each of these. For further feedback, have others fill out where they feel you are on each of these anonymously, writing suggestions that you can use for improvement. One suggestion is to figure out for yourself what would meet your needs. What do you value when it comes to achievement? Find out this information from others to increase your score.
Do you usually have a plan?
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Do you prioritize well?
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Are you resourceful?
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Can you gain momentum?
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Are you able to follow through?
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Total _____/50
Average (total/5)_____
If you have questions or want to email a story about your experience using this worksheet, send an email to “dgallen@authordavid.com”
HAVING OTHERS' BEST INTERESTS IN MIND
Having another person’s best interests in mind means seeing and realizing how your actions will affect that particular person. Once you fi ll out Worksheet #3, you will have a better understanding of what this means. In order to fill it out, you will need to ask yourself, “Where am I on a scale of 1 to 10 on these behaviors? Out of every ten decisions, how often do I do these things?” Like in golf, your goal is to have a low score for these characteristics. After you find your average, subtract that number from the number 10 to see just how high you rank on a 1-10 scale on having other people’s best interest in mind.
Desiring to be Recognized and Appreciated
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Drawing Attention to my Abilities and Achievements
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Refusing to Give Up Personal Rights
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Desiring to Control Others
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Being Quick to Blame Others for Their Failures
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Being Self-Focused
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Becoming Defensive When Criticized
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Being Overly Concerned About What Others Think of Me
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Difficulty Admitting When I Have Failed
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Feeling Hurt When I Am Overlooked
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Desiring for Others to Meet my Needs
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Viewing Others as Lower Than Myself
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Feeling Self-Sufficient With no Need for God or Others
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Feeling Sorry For Myself Because I’m Not Appreciated
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Desiring to be Successful Apart From God’s Blessing or
Direction
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Total _____/150
Average (total/15)_____
Having Other’s Best Interests in Mind
(10- Average) _____
If you have questions or want to email a story about your experience using this worksheet, send an email to “dgallen@authordavid.com”
YOUR TOTAL SCORE
This worksheet puts everything together. Practice this on yourself first, because you are about to do this exercise several times on the last sheet. For further feedback, have others fill out anonymously where they feel you are on each of these, writing suggestions that you can use for improvement. Of course, people who trust each other very highly may be more open if they are comfortable.
Average of Integrity =_______
Average of Getting the Job Done =_______
(10- Average) Other People’s Best Interests In Mind =_______
Total = _______ /30
Average (total/3) = _______
If you have questions or want to email a story about your experience using this worksheet, send an email to “Dgallen@authordavid.com”
WHO DO YOU TRUST?
In Worksheet #5 you can diagram your friends and see if they have the three legs of trust. Just ask all the below questions about your friends.
Does this person have integrity?
Does this person get the job done?
Does this person have other people’s best interests in mind? Do they have yours?
What are their strengths, and what are their weaknesses in each area?
Sometimes, making a guess based upon your gut feeling can be a valuable starting point for gaining awareness. After that, use the previous sheets for guidance on what areas could use improvement. Then you will have valuable feedback you could give to these people if they asked for it.
If your friends are in your study group, it will require strong emotional intelligence to do this openly. I recommend doing it anonymously for yourself, first, if the trust environment is low or people are uncomfortable with that level of transparency. More benefit will come doing this openly with your most trusted friends if the level of trust and comfort are already high.
Name: ______ Name: ______
Integrity: ______ Integrity: ______
Job Done: ______ Job Done: ______
Best Interest: ______ Best Interest: ______
Average: ______ Average: ______
Name: ______ Name: ______
Integrity: ______ Integrity: ______
Job Done: ______ Job Done: ______
Best Interest: ______ Best Interest: ______
Average: ______ Average: ______
If you have questions or want to email a story about your experience using this worksheet, send an email to “dgallen@authordavid.com”
A LOOK AT BOOK 2 - THE THREE, TWELVE, AND SEVENTY
Keep reading for a quick look at events in the next book in the Emotionally Bulletproof series…
At the sound of loud knocking, Jean Calloway opened the door.
“Ma’am, I’m Detective Tom Hoffman. Is Robert Calloway at this address?” the man at the door asked.
Robert was still in his suit and tie from work. He got up from the living room couch, and made his way to the door. “I’ll handle this, Jean.”
Jean stood, unsure of herself for a moment, then went into the kitchen to stir the boiling pot of spaghetti noodles cooking on the stove.
“So, what’s a detective doing at my doorstep? Is there really so little happening in this town that you have to do DUI-related house visits normally given to the regular men in blue?”
Detective Hoffman’s brows lowered slightly, unsure of whether Mr. Calloway was merely being conversational, or insulting. “Mr. Calloway, I am not here for drunk driving. I am here on a murder investigation.” He handed Robert several pieces of paper stapled together. “I have some questions for you, so I’ll explain it as briefly as possible so I can get down to business.”
Robert looked up from the papers he now held.
“On 9:30 a.m. yesterday, Tiffany Davis fi led a restraining order against her husband, Owen Davis, on the grounds that
she had been threatened and feared for her life. We have documented evidence from two nights ago by Officer Fisk and Officer Houghes that while detaining Mr. Davis on the highway, Mrs. Davis and Scott Calloway, your son, pulled up in front of Mr. Davis’s stopped car. As Mrs. Tiffany Davis attempted to talk to her husband, he threatened to kill her. He was reported to have said, while very intoxicated: ‘I’ll shut you up for good, you nagging woman. I’ve done it before with your last husband; you know I can do it again.’”
“Owen was drunk. That quantity of alcohol can affect the prefrontal cortex of the brain, responsible for logic and sound judgment. In those conditions, anybody can say things that are hurtful, or don’t make sense at all.” Robert was immediately on the defensive for his best friend.
“I’m not finished, Mr. Calloway. This is a murder investigation. I am here because Mr. Davis is a murder suspect. His wife,
Tiffany, came into the Wasilla police station yesterday morning to file a restraining order, accompanied by your son. They gave us information that Matthew Tanner, her previous husband, died in a construction accident. Your son, an assistant manager of his company at that time, confirmed Mr. Davis as the foreman of that company. Seeing as Mr. Davis has full ownership of the company and is married to Matthew’s former wife, there is possible motivation.”
Robert quickly mustered the skillful, convincing voice he developed in psychology. “Thomas, Owen knew more about the running of the business than anybody else. I would even argue that during the marital trouble Matthew had at that time, and his irrational distraction with trying to teach unproven religious psychology, Owen came to know even more than Matthew. Tiffany gave Owen the company because she knew about his knowledge and expertise. I agreed with her that due to this, Owen was the best man for keeping Matthew’s pride and joy alive.”
Detective Hoffman pointed to the papers in Robert’s hand. “The first three pages are a police report, but you need to look at this.”
Robert flipped the first three papers over, revealing what looked like printouts of journal entries. Certain places in the handwritten pages were highlighted, allowing Robert to skim over it quickly.
“— July 4, 1988: Today we had a family picnic... Unknown to me, my brother-in-law invited Owen, my foreman. I of course had to play along, not showing that I hadn’t wanted him to come. My brother-in-law was talking with him like he owned the company. It makes me wonder just how close Owen and Robert are to each other?! I felt very put out, like they are in a small gang together and they both don’t like me...I need to confront my foreman about the money that keeps disappearing, but I think I’ll wait until I’ve given him enough rope to hang himself”
“ —July 27, 1988: I think my foreman is having an affair with my wife—”
“August 10, 1988: I’m going to challenge Owen tomorrow. I think I finally have enough evidence that he can’t deny it... My company is working... four-story apartment building, I will have to inspect the site with Owen after the work is done and I believe that will be a good time...I’ll ask him where the material is, then I will confront him about the other materials and fire him if he cannot show me ...where all of it is.”
“I’ve never seen this before in my life!” Robert was stunned. How could something like this still be around five years after Matthew’s death? he thought.
“This is a copy of a journal with Matthew’s handwriting on it. We matched the handwriting with documents he filled out before his death, which was on the day the journal claims Matthew had confronted Owen. The journal places both Matthew and Owen alone at the job site. Tiffany claimed she had married Owen three weeks after Matthew’s death, not sure of what to do with the company, and you, the best man at the wedding, recommended his promotion from foreman to owner/operator. Is that correct?”
Robert straightened his tie. “Look, Owen was friends with me since high school, I had no idea that foul play was involved. Sure, I didn’t like Matthew very much, but the last thing I want to do is jeopardize my practice and my standing in the community by associating myself with that kind of behavior. I trusted Owen, but it seems here you never...you know... you never really know a person that well.” Beads of sweat dripped down Robert’s face. He never intended to kill anyone, it was the furthest thought from his mind. The detective didn’t know that, however, and now the conversation was not going in the direction he had hoped.
“Connect the dots, Mr. Calloway. It looks very incriminating for Owen, and the facts don’t absolve you from suspicion of being connected. If I were you, I would take this situation much more seriously. Do you know what the penalty is for accessory to murder?”
Robert’s throat felt dry. He had things to say. He could say that he cared about his sister and he wouldn’t knowingly
support a wedding between a murderer and his own sister. He could repeat his conviction of Owen being the most experienced worker, and that his promotion was a rational decision. Above all that raced through his mind, he knew that his words, no matter how honest, put him in a defensive position, therefore making his situation worse. The last thing he wanted was to get handcuffed by the officer waiting in the car and hauled to the police station in front of his own wife at his own home. He wished he could have talked to Scott about this beforehand. Maybe he had been too hard on his son.
Either way, Robert decided upon the most cooperative option he could choose without incriminating himself.
“Owen’s recent behavior with my sister has worried me. It caused my family a lot of tension in the last few days. This new information, even if most of it isn’t concrete, does make the situation worse. I seriously question whether I want him around my sister, and I definitely don’t want him around me, if he’s that much trouble. What can I do to prove to you without a doubt that my family and I have no connection to Owen, or his actions?”
The detective leaned forward slightly. His crime-seeking expression remained intact, but he seemed somewhat relaxed. Robert immediately felt some of his own nervousness depart. There was a chance to get out of this bad situation after all. Finally, the detective spoke.
“There is a high chance that Owen will be convicted. He will go to jail, either for criminal threatening or murder. You don’t want to be associated with either crime, do you?”
Robert knew when to shut up. Even he recognized an authority figure when he saw one, and so the detective continued uninterrupted.
“Be at the station at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow morning. You will answer questions, telling us everything you know. If you cooperate, we will have the strong case against Owen that we need. Once we have what we need, we obviously won’t need you to stay any longer. I will warn you, however, that refusal to answer questions or to show up at all will be incriminating against you, should we choose to pursue that course. To make sure I’m clear, you do not want to give me any reason to implicate you, and failure to comply will definitely give reason. Complying, on the other hand, will reduce our need to attach jail time, community service, or public record of criminal activity to your name. Do you understand?”
“Y-Yes officer,” Robert stuttered for possibly the first time in several years. “I’ll be there.”
Three minutes later, Robert collapsed on the couch. He felt the need for a distraction, but he avoided turning on the television. He felt that easing his mind, even a little, would only contribute to the danger he faced. Jean noticed the awkward silence as she returned from the kitchen with a plate of freshly made spaghetti and several slices of buttered bread. She gave him his food without a word, and after collecting her own plate of food, joined him in the living room.
Robert looked down at the meal in front of him, saying nothing. The conversation continued in his mind. All right Robert, skip the depression, anger, pleading, all that bull. Just figure out what needs to be done. I have two choices here. Put my best friend behind bars, possibly for life, or possibly go down with him. Even if I don’t go to jail, if people talk about this at all, and they will if this goes to court, then my clients will go to the other psychologists. It looks like I have to go. If I don’t, the money situation will definitely be worse than it is right now...How did I get into this mess? After I helped him get a job and everything, this is how he repays me...”
Robert looked up and saw his wife sitting next to him. “Honey, did you hear the detective?”
Jean finished chewing and answered. “I wanted to, but at the same time I was afraid to hear, so I just went back to the kitchen. All I got was that there was a murder investigation.”