An Autumn Crush

by Milly Johnson

  Floz arrived at the White Wedding boutique a little before Juliet.

  ‘Good morning,’ said the lovely Freya. ‘Final fittings today. Where’s the bride?’

  ‘She’s on her way,’ replied Floz. ‘She’s just having a scan today. To see if she is carrying twins.’

  ‘How lovely,’ said Freya, taking Floz’s beautiful chocolate bridesmaid’s dress out of the plastic case and helping Floz slip into it. It still fitted perfectly.

  ‘It’s so beautiful,’ said Floz. ‘I would never have thought of having this colour for a bridesmaid.’

  ‘It suits the season and your colouring so well,’ said Freya. ‘I think one day you’ll be an autumn bride yourself. Autumn is your lucky season, I would have said.’

  ‘I wish,’ said Floz quietly. ‘I was a spring bride last time.’

  ‘I have been a spring bride and an autumn bride,’ said Freya, looking over Floz’s shoulder at her reflection. ‘Autumn was much luckier for me.’

  She fitted the pretty headdress of leaves onto Floz’s head.

  ‘I think I’m only destined to be a bride once,’ sighed Floz. ‘I don’t really have a lot of luck in that area.’

  ‘My dresses all have a little magic in them for the wearer.’ Freya pulled strands of Floz’s fiery hair, arranging it around the headdress. ‘Maybe you’ll be surprised. It’s not for you to say that you won’t find love. Love decides whether to make itself available to you or not.’

  ‘It would be nice if it did,’ said Floz, but not believing for a second that it would hunt her out again.

  Chapter 95

  ‘Thanks for coming with me,’ said Steve, pulling up in the car park. Tomorrow he would be coming here for a much happier reason, but today he had a duty he wanted to perform.

  ‘Don’t be daft,’ said Guy. ‘Of course I want to be here for you.’

  They had just picked up their wedding suits and a large bouquet of pink flowers from the florist next door to the tailor.

  ‘I wish I could have bought her flowers for her birthday when she was alive,’ said Steve. ‘She didn’t want anything she couldn’t drink.’ He coughed down some tears that threatened to show themselves, and Guy patted him on the back.

  They got out of the car and walked down the church path.

  ‘You’ll be here tomorrow, wondering what the frig you’ve let yourself in for,’ laughed Guy.

  ‘I don’t think so,’ smiled Steve. ‘I can’t wait.’

  The Reverend ‘Gossip’ was standing at the church door and waved. ‘Hello, Steven, ready for your big day tomorrow?’ he asked.

  ‘Hello, Rev Glossop,’ said Steve. ‘Just come to put these on my mam’s grave. She’d have been fifty-five today.’ He felt sad at the waste of those years and all that she should have had to come.

  The vicar gave him a comforting pat on the arm. ‘Seems there are a few birthday remembrances today,’ he said. ‘Lady over there, in the children’s graveyard – can you see?’

  Steve saw a blur of a woman in a blue coat in the distance and nodded.

  ‘She lost three babies at this time of year. All of them stillborn.’

  Steve couldn’t imagine how he would feel if a tragedy like that happened to him and Juliet.

  ‘And the poor lady had an unfortunate series of miscarriages too. Such a tragic story,’ the vicar went on.

  ‘She didn’t go on to adopt then?’ asked Guy.

  ‘Her husband . . . well,’ the vicar, gossipy as he was, wondered if he had told too much of the story already and abridged the version, ‘didn’t cope very well with it all and his business collapsed. They lost everything. So very sad. Such a lovely woman.’ He nodded towards the lady as if sending her his best vibes, then he turned back to Steve. ‘Anyway, must get on. We shall see you and Juliet tomorrow, Steven.’

  ‘Aye, see you tomorrow, Rev.’

  He and Guy walked on towards Mrs Feast’s grave. Steve had ordered a stone for her, but the ground needed to settle for a few months before it was erected. For now there was just a simple cross there which he had made from driftword and whittled into it the words Love you, Mum. He and Guy bent and ripped out a couple of weeds which had started to poke out of the soil.

  ‘Can you imagine what that poor cow’s gone through?’ said Steve, the image of his babies fresh in his mind. He didn’t want to think it could happen to anyone. Especially not to Juliet. That she would feel babies grow inside her over and over again and never get to feel them breathing.

  ‘No, I can’t,’ said Guy, ‘I really can’t.’

  ‘It scares me to even hear stories like that,’ shivered Steve, taking the flowers out of the wrapping and putting them in the vase that stood in front of the cross. He looked up to see Guy staring over the top of the next gravestone.

  ‘What’s up?’ he asked.

  ‘Steve – look.’

  Steve swung his head around to where Guy was pointing. The poor cow in the blue coat was walking out of the graveyard. And it was Floz.

  They threaded their way to the corner of the churchyard where teddy bears and balloons sat amongst the flowers.

  ‘Here,’ said Steve, pointing to a gravestone of an angel. Upon it were the words:

  Let your children be as so many flowers, borrowed from God.

  If the flowers die or wither, thank God for the precious loan of them.

  James Christopher Cherrydale b. d. 4 November 2002

  Elisabeth Jane Cherrydale b. d. 14 October 2004

  Eleanor May Cherrydale b. d. 2 November 2005

  Sleep in Peace, Our Little Ones

  We Shall Meet Again

  Love Always, Mummy and Daddy

  ‘Oh my God, that’s why!’

  Then Guy understood. Everything made sense. Why Floz had suddenly gone cold on him that day in Hallow’s. When he had been talking about having lots of children – children that she could never bear him. Gina had said that Floz couldn’t keep her eyes off him on the day of Lulu Masserati’s wedding – she did like him, after all. He didn’t know what he was going to do with this information yet. All he did know was that he wasn’t going to give up on Floz.

  There was hope and he was going to seize it and run with it.

  Chapter 96

  ‘My, my, you three ladies – and Raymond, of course – don’t you look a picture?’

  Perry grinned, taking in the sight of his wife in her bronze suit, Floz in her beautiful chocolate dress, Juliet in her classy golden gown holding a teardrop of gold flowers and leaves, and Coco, smart in his suit. The girls had stayed with the Millers the night before the wedding, and had been regally fussed over by them. Coco and Gideon had come along too with dips and nibbles and cakes, and Perry had mixed some of his speciality home-made port-soaked-punch and in the end it had turned into a rather jolly mixed-sex hen party.

  ‘I can’t believe I’m getting married,’ said Juliet, looking at herself in the mirror. She grinned for the millionth time. Alberto was giving them one of the inn’s hotel rooms as a honeymoon suite, and Juliet couldn’t wait to dive into bed with her husband as Mrs Feast. Boy, was she going to feast on him tonight.

  ‘I can’t either,’ croaked Coco, patting his choked-up chest. ‘I think it’s marvellous.’

  Floz nodded and smiled, but her heart felt so heavy. As much as she was looking forward to the wedding, she was dreading seeing Gina cosying up to Guy. She would just have to try very hard not to look at them.

  ‘The weather’s holding,’ said Grainne, looking out of the window at a fine, if chilly day, with a faint hint of mist above the grass. The trees were bare now, the last of the leaves ripped from their branches in the winds of the night; the blackberries were long gone, poppies slumbering under the soil, and the conkers had all fallen and were engaged in battles in the schoolyards. The rusts of autumn’s hair would be turned to white soon enough.

  Perry handed out long flutes of champagne and raised his own to his daughter.

  ‘My darling girl, may you and St
even be as happy as your mother and I have been and continue to be.’

  Floz toasted her grinning friend and enjoyed the warmth that this lovely family generated. She wished she could store it, for she felt cold winter was only a breath away.

  ‘Ready?’ asked Guy.

  ‘I’m crapping myself,’ said Steve. ‘Can you say “I’m crapping myself” in church?’

  ‘I’m sure God would forgive you this once.’ Guy adjusted Steve’s golden rose in his buttonhole.

  The organist was playing the equivalent of church Musak as the pews filled up with aunties and wrestlers.

  ‘Yes, I’m sure I’ve got the rings.’ Guy patted his pocket as Steve opened his mouth to ask the same question yet again.

  ‘No, I won’t say anything to Juliet about Floz,’ Steve said, as Guy opened his mouth in turn. ‘I know Ju would be upset, thinking of all those times she press-ganged Floz into going shopping with her for baby stuff.’

  The organist switched tunes. Der-der-der-der; der-der-der-derrrr. The first bars of ‘Here Comes the Bride’. She was here.

  ‘Oh fuck,’ said Steve. ‘Sorry, God.’

  ‘Good luck, mate,’ said Guy.

  ‘And you, for later,’ said Steve, with a wink.

  Alberto Masserati and his family and staff had done the wedding party proud. The dining room in the inn was draped in materials in autumn shades, the linen on the table matched, and confetti of tiny leaves had been scattered everywhere. Even the waitresses were in brown dresses with white aprons and leaf crowns in their hair, giving the impression they were part-time Roman Empresses.

  As they drank Buck’s Fizz, Floz felt as if she were being stared at. She was right. She turned to the side to see Guy’s eyes upon her, grey and intense. He was blatant in his interest and didn’t turn away after being discovered staring, but merely smiled and tipped his glass towards her. She smiled back a little and swung her eyes away, feeling a blush spread over her cheeks – and wondered why there was no Gina with him.

  He was in a funny mood today. As they were leaving the church, the bride and groom walking down the aisle, the best man and bridesmaid behind, he had held out his arm for her to take.

  ‘You look beautiful, Floz,’ he had said.

  ‘Oh . . . oh, thank you,’ she had replied.

  ‘Like a wood nymph.’

  ‘Not a gnome then?’ she had chuckled.

  ‘Oh no, most definitely a nymph.’

  ‘Wait till I start flying about later,’ she had joked bashfully.

  ‘I’d love to make you feel as if you were flying, Floz,’ he had replied smokily, under his breath but still loud enough to be heard. What the heck had he meant by that? Although the tone he had used had left her in no doubt really that he wasn’t planning on taking her paragliding. It had made her legs very quivery. She was glad to be at the other end of the top table, in between Coco and Perry and away from Guy’s gaze.

  Alberto served up asparagus wrapped in prosciutto for starter, then ‘Autumn soup’ which was a rich, thick broth made of root vegetables and served with leaf-shaped toasts. Lime sorbet followed and preceded a main course of pork medallions in a mustard sauce. Dessert was toffee-apple brûlée, each one with a tiny heart-shaped sparkler fizzing away on it.

  Perry stood up then to deliver his short and sweet speech. He was a shy man and didn’t relish standing up in public.

  ‘I’m not very good at the speeches,’ he began, to a rousing chorus of encouraging applause. ‘But I’d like to thank Alberto and his family and his staff for doing this lovely reception for us. Come out and take a bow, my friends.’

  To a splendid ripple of applause, Alberto and his equally shy gang of staff came out to be publicly acclaimed before disappearing back to the sanctuary of the kitchen. On stage Alberto reaped attention; off it, he made Perry look like Peter Mandelson.

  ‘And thank you to all the relatives who’ve travelled to see my little girl get wed. All I’ll say is that I would have been delighted to welcome Steve into our family, except he’s already been in it for thirty years. That means that he knows what he’s getting with my daughter and he’s a very brave man.’

  There was a loud rumble of laughter at that, especially as Juliet put her hands on her hips and pretended to look affronted.

  ‘I’ll say to you both what Gron’s dad said on our wedding day.’ Perry coughed and the room hushed to pin-drop silence.

  ‘May your day be touched by a bit of Irish luck,

  Brightened by a song in your heart and warmed by the smiles

  Of the people you love.

  May the Good Lord watch over you

  As you grow in love.

  May the light of friendship guide your paths together.

  May the laughter of children grace the halls of your home.

  May the joy of living for one another trip a smile from your lips,

  A twinkle from your eye.

  ‘Ladies and gentlemen, would you please raise your glasses and toast my beautiful Juliet and her Romeo – Steven. The new Mr and Mrs Feast.’

  ‘The bride and groom!’ everyone chorused and clapped. Grainne gave Perry a big kiss on the cheek. Now he could relax and enjoy himself at last.

  Guy stood up. He looked even larger in this tiny room with the low ceilings. Floz felt her heart do a bit of a gallop at the sight of him in that black morning suit and waistcoat, chocolate cravat at his neck, shirt white and crisp, golden rose bright and tightly budded in his buttonhole. He was going to make someone a lovely husband one day, some children a wonderful father. ‘Ladies and gentlemen,’ he began, swinging his eyes around the room, locking with Floz’s yet again before moving on. ‘I was going to tell you an embarrassing story about Steve, but there were so many I didn’t know where to start.’

  The wrestlers began shouting that they had loads too.

  ‘I’m just glad that my best friend is my sister’s Mr Right,’ Guy said with such tenderness in his voice that Steve was forced to start gulping to stop tears racing to his eyes. ‘What she doesn’t know is that he’s fancied her from school.’

  ‘Have you?’ gasped Juliet.

  ‘Yep,’ said Steve.

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me then?’ she said.

  ‘I daren’t,’ he said. ‘I might have fancied you, but you scared the living daylights out of me as well.’

  ‘Oy, you two, shut up!’ called Guy as everyone laughed. ‘Steve has been the best friend anyone could have. And I know he and Juliet will be happy, because he’ll be her best friend too as well as her husband.’

  ‘Aw!’ came a chorus. Alberto Masserati was peeping out of the kitchen, blowing his nose.

  ‘And I’d like to thank Juliet’s beautiful bridesmaids for supporting her and being there for her. Coco has been Ju’s friend forever, and though Floz has only come into our lives this autumn, we all feel we’ve known her as long.’

  He smiled at her, and she smiled back, feeling hot and light-headed and self-conscious and honoured all at the same time.

  ‘Please, raise your glasses to Floz and Coco.’

  ‘Floz and Coco.’

  Guy winked at Floz and she coughed. She was glad when he sat down and the spotlight of his attention was switched off for a bit whilst she caught her breath.

  Then Juliet stood up to a roomful of chuckles.

  ‘I know what you’re all thinking,’ she said. ‘That I’m going to be doing the speech instead of Steve, but marriage has mellowed me. Temporarily anyway. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present my husband – the groom.’

  There was a lot of applause and laughter as Steve stood up and looked totally dumbfounded.

  ‘Well, thank you, Wife,’ he said. ‘Back to the kitchen with you.’

  ‘Don’t push it, love,’ said Juliet, emptying her glass of orange juice.

  Steve grinned. ‘I’d like to thank you all for coming and seeing my first wife and I married today.’

  Everyone laughed heartily, Juliet included.

  �
�Seriously. The Millers have been my family for as long as I can remember. So this day means more to me than I could say. And wherever we end up living – whether it’s here or America for a few years or both – you know I’ll look after her and our children with everything that I’ve got. I’ve always loved her. And I always will. I’ll have to, because she’d kill me otherwise.’

  ‘I don’t know whether to laugh or cry,’ said Coco, alternating between sobbing and giggling at the speeches.

  ‘Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses to my lovely missus. Juliet – the bride.’

  ‘The bride!’

  Coco collapsed into his hankie. ‘Oh, Floz, we’re all falling apart. She’s off to America with Steve and you’re off to God knows where.’

  Floz put her arm around him. It felt very much like the end of a lovely era to her too. She daren’t even think of the week to come, packing up, possibly moving into that awful house with the smelly carpet and the wheezing landlord.

  ‘Fireworks after the coffee, everyone,’ announced Alberto as his waitresses starting busying around with cafetières.

  ‘Are they those Chinese ones Steve got last year from Robber Johnny?’ asked the Grim Reaper.

  ‘Yep,’ yelled Steve overhearing him. ‘And he’s got me a “Big Bugger” as well.’

  ‘Chuffing hell. I’ll get the ambulance standing by,’ laughed Grim.

  ‘You must not be a stranger to us, dear Floz.’ Perry poured out a coffee for Floz. ‘You must come for lunch on Sundays or pop around whenever you want.’

  ‘Thank you,’ said Floz, pressing down the emotion rising in her throat.

  ‘We’ll go out for lunch as well sometimes,’ said Coco, nudging her from the other side. ‘I feel like I’ve had you in my life forever, Floz.’

  ‘Don’t,’ said Floz, blowing out her cheeks. She looked around at the jolly throng and hoped she wouldn’t make a clot of herself by crying. The Pogmoor Brothers were arm-wrestling, the Grim Reaper had his giant arm around his tiny girlfriend’s shoulder as he was deep in conversation with Jeff Leppard and Big Bad Davy and their wives, Klondyke Kevin was flirting with Amanda, Daphne and her husband were chuckling at something, Juliet and Steve were talking quietly to each other, holding hands. Guy had his back to her as he talked to Fred Zeppelin and his missus. His black curly hair just covered his collar, and Floz wondered what it would feel like in her fingers.