The Coconut Swindle (Black Cape Case Files Book 2)

by Matt Abraham

  A big, burly Greek came out of the kitchen wearing a white shirt, black pants, and an apron as dingy as his smile was bright. He waved, grabbed two cups of coffee, and brought them over. “I’m sorry, Dane. I didn’t hear you come in. Two of the usual?”

  “Please.” I motioned to Doodle. “Got my daughter with me.”

  “This is your little girl? She looks just like you.”

  Doodle’s gaze was a bone breaker. “Thanks a ton, pal.”

  The big Greek chuckled. “I mean it in the good way. You both have the same soft eyes. The same warmth. Anyway, I’ll leave you to chat.” He turned on his heels and teetered off.

  Doodle said, “Listen, I didn’t-”

  “One second.” I waited for Acouste to make it all the way into the kitchen. “So yesterday when you said you’d call, I didn’t think it would be right after you tried to kill the mayor.”

  She leaned back and said, “I didn’t try to kill the mayor. I just muled an explosive through the metal detectors and planted it where I was told.”

  “Take it from me, that won’t hold up in court.”

  “Whatever, I’m not going to get busted.”

  “That’s what everyone thinks right before the cops knock. Which they’ll do, once your accomplices get snatched. Speaking of which, where are Tera and Swamp anyway?”

  “I went in there alone.”

  “What?” I squeezed the table so hard I left imprints.

  “Calm down. It’s no big deal. Swamp and Mom said the job would go smoother if it was just me.”

  “Swamp said that?” I shook my head. At least now I knew why he and his pale friend were so jumpy when I stopped by. “When a man loves you he gets you a diamond, not into trouble with the law.”

  “Like the one you got mom? You know, she told me all about you guys.”

  “Hey, twice I asked Tera to… Wait, what’d she say?”

  “That you were always setting her up for jobs like this, and if she declined you’d rough her up some.”

  The mercury in my thermostat jumped to Jupiter. “She said what?”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m not mad. I just don’t want a lecture.”

  “I… I…” I didn’t know what to say. Or which was worse, that Tera filled my daughter’s head with such tales, or that Doodle simply accepted them as part of life. Either way I wanted to shake the lies from her. Explain what really happened between me and her mom. But I sensed it was too late. The untruths had taken deep hold. And besides, even a guy with a skull as thick as mine knows bad-mouthing the other parent is the dumbest move you can make.

  So instead I sat there. And stewed.

  Fortunately, mere moments later, Acouste arrived. He dropped off our grub, and when he got back to his spot behind the counter, Doodle scrunched up her nose and said, “What’s this?”

  I said, “Scrambled eggs and hash browns.”

  She took a nibble. And brightened up. “This is great.”

  “Right? Now eat. And while you do tell me how you hooked up with Swamp and his pale boy in the first place.”

  Doodle took another forkful. “We were living in New York, working for Big Six when he and us had a falling out over money, so me and Mom pulled roots and left town. A few days later she got wind of a job that needed my skills from a friend out here, so we came to Gold Coast, met Swamp at Wetlands, and he hired us for tonight’s gala.”

  “Do you know why he wanted to kill the mayor?”

  “I didn’t ask and he didn’t say.”

  “Do you mind telling me what the plan was?”

  “Sure. I went in, manifested that single stick of dynamite, and put it on the helium tank they used for the balloons. I set the timer for fifty seconds, but I think Mom tattooed it wrong, so it blasted in five.”

  “And that was it? No exit strategy? Wow, that plan has Tera written all over it.”

  Doodle rolled her eyes. “Anyway, that wasn’t the only thing that went weird. The explosion was bigger than anything I can produce.”

  “But you can make gunpowder.”

  “Only a quarter stick’s worth. And that takes more energy than I can consume, so Mom injects me with a high calorie fatty sludge to supercharge my output. Speaking of which, are you going to finish your plate?”

  I looked down at my eggs. They were barely touched. And my gut was growling like an angry guard dog. “No. Here,” I said, and passed them over.

  “Thanks. So like I said, making explosives is real difficult, physically. Gunpowder’s as potent as I can get. Anything more than that and the human body can’t contain it. I think there were other explosives in that helium tank. But either way I have no clue. Now I’ve got some questions,” she said, “about you.”

  “Really? Go ahead. Ask me anything.”

  “Why does everyone say you’re a turn cape?”

  I leaned back and sighed. “Because my old crew, Dread Division, got sent to Impenetron for a ten-year tour two weeks after I left the group for good.”

  “All of them?”

  “Yep. All fourteen.”

  “Fourteen? Are they black capes or a basketball team?”

  I laughed. “Dread Division had a deep roster for two very good reasons. First, it gave us a large talent pool. There wasn’t a job that came our way we couldn’t do. And second, if something did go sour, and we encountered white capes, they’d never know how to deal with us.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Ok, think about it like this, the win-to-lose ratio between white capes and black always favors the heroes, right? Why?”

  “Because they’re stronger?”

  “Nope,” I said. “We’re pretty evenly matched.”

  “Oh, so you guys had power in numbers.”

  I shook my head. “No. Don’t ever believe that. Teams who rely on numbers to win are teams that bleed a lot.”

  “Alright then, why do we lose so much?”

  “Because the only thing that white capes train for is to fight black capes, and they train as a team. As a team, not just a group, like us. They have bonds. Loyalty. If one of them’s injured their partners help, and they battle accordingly. But with us, well, when a black cape hits the street we leave them where they lie, and save our own skin.

  “Also, they practice their strategies. They have techniques they use in tandem whereas we fight as individuals. Thus, when a black cape squad shows up to steal a nuclear warhead or kidnap the president, the opposition fights together, as a unit, and are prepared for any of the thousands of methods we may employ.”

  “Like in basketball,” Doodle said, “when the Prospectors play the Emperors they strategize who’s the most dangerous offensive player, the best passer, and change their plays according to who’s on the court at the time.”

  “Good girl, yes. That’s exactly right. So whoever Team Supreme fights, if they know who they’re facing, they’ll instinctively know which strategy’s most effective. And it doesn’t matter, The Boo Boys, Fearsome Foursome, Bloodlines… They all lose for that very reason. But not Dread Division. Were we a flamer, a speedster, and a teleporter? Or a strongman, a telepath, and a waterman? The white capes never knew because the four or five players in the field wore the same uniform and always rotated. It’s why we never got busted.”

  “Until that last time.”

  I sat back. “Yeah.”

  Doodle thought about what I said, mulling over the wisdom. Finally she arrived at the question that Tera once asked. “If only five capes are on the job at one time do you still split the take fifteen ways? That seems dumb.”

  “Two thirds went to those who did the job. The rest to the others. And it wasn’t dumb. It made us tight. Loyal. Which, since I’m the only one breathing free air, is why everyone hates me so much.”

  “Well, you had to expect they’d come for you after that business with Top Tower.”

  I sat up straight. “You heard about that?”

  “Are you kidding? When a squad of black capes lay sie
ge to Team Supreme’s headquarters for over twenty-four hours, and escapes without a trace, deaf men on Mars hear about it. For an entire year the whole world’s law enforcement agencies wanted you bad.”

  “Yeah.” I remembered the day fondly. “But that was years back. And nobody pinned it on us. If that’s what Dread Division got picked up on, the news would’ve been all over it. So whatever crime they were convicted of was something else entirely.”

  “That sucks.” Doodle took a sip of coffee and thought about it. “But if the white capes never ID’d you guys, then how’d they arrest all of them? I mean some, that I get, but all?”

  “I wish I knew.”

  “So, uh, did you? Rat them out I mean?”

  “No,” I said. “But nobody believes it, which is why my business dried up. Except for this gig about the two guys who died trying to steal the Coconut.” I got all nonchalant. “You know anything about that?”

  “No. Nothing. Just what I read in the paper.”

  “Really? I know Swamp sold them their gear, maybe he had more of a hand in the actual robbery?”

  “Not likely. He was with me that night.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Positive. The whole night.”

  Ugh. “Ok. Come on, it’s time to motor. Here, take my keys and hop in the car while I pay the bill.”

  “Sure thing.” Doodle snatched them and ran outside.

  Acouste was behind the counter, reading a paperback.

  I walked over and said, “So?”

  He looked out the front window. Doodle was in my passenger seat. “Whatever you asked her, she’s telling the truth.”

  “You’re sure?”

  Acouste pointed to his ear. “I know I’m old, but I can still hear a heartbeat from across the room. A couple of times she was concerned, or surprised, but when a person lies their pulse is very specific. I’m telling you, every single thing she said was on the steady level.”

  I couldn’t help but sigh. This time from relief. “Thanks a heap. Here.” I handed him a wad of hundreds.

  “No, this is too much.”

  “Not for that news. You have a good night. The eggs were excellent as always.”

  He laughed and looked down at his book. “How would you know?”

  I walked out. Doodle leaned over and unlocked my door. I slid in and started it up. “So I was thinking, how about we head to my place. No one will be looking for you there. You could spend the night and call your mom in the morning.”

  She thought about it. “Sure. That sounds good.”

  “Good.” Actually it’s great.

  We drove back to my apartment and found a spot a few feet from my front door. When we got out Doodle said, “Hey, do you got any food? I’m still kind of hungry.”

  I remembered the state of my fridge. “No. But there’s a twenty-four hour market around the corner.”

  “Great, let’s go.” Doodle walked past me.

  And I grabbed her arm. “No. You head up to my place where no one can identify you. It’s number 310.” I handed her the keys and started down the block.

  “Got it. Grab something with lots of sugar.” She ran up the stoop and into my building.

  When I got to the market I filled a cart with a few cereal boxes full of bright colored marshmallows, a gallon of milk, and three frozen pizzas. Then I paid for it and headed home. And on my way, I swear, I actually hummed a happy tune.

  My kid was staying over. We’d spend the night talking. I’d steer the conversation to art school, convince her to apply to one. She’d meet a nice boy there. Maybe we could all have dinner once a month. She’d graduate, and have a normal life.

  I know it was a tall order for a single night’s work, but I was hauling two tons of can-do attitude, and that’s why, when I got home, I practically floated up the stairs and through my unlocked door.

  But the lights were off.

  “Doodle? Where are you?”

  She didn’t answer.

  I put down the grocery bags and hit the light switch next to the door. My bulb made a popping sound and the room remained dark. So I walked to the far wall and clicked on the lamp there.

  My living room was cold and empty, but on the coffee table lay a fresh rose. Underneath it was a note written in feminine scrawl.

  Hey Dane,

  Sorry but I had to run. I called Mom and we’re leaving town tonight. Thanks for everything.

  -Doodle

  I went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of whiskey, then plopped down in my chair. Sitting directly in front of me on the coffee table was that big lump of meat I’d cooked earlier. It was cold, and the blood had congealed. Nobody in their right mind would want it now.

  I knew exactly how it felt.

  Chapter 25

  When I woke up around ten I was still in my chair, as upright and stiff as the empty bottle on the floor. I got to my feet and stretched, popping all the vertebrae back into place that got knocked around by last night’s truck lift. As I did something fell from my lap.

  It was Doodle’s bloom.

  I picked it up, took a deep whiff, then tossed it on my coffee table. I was going to miss that kid. But at least she was safe. And away from Swamp. Plus, now that she knew how to get in touch with me maybe she’d call.

  As I finished that thought the phone rang. I snatched it up, full of hope. “Hello?”

  “Morning.” The voice was gruff.

  I recognized its owner immediately. “Bundy Strong. I knew you’d call. You got my name?”

  “I do, but before I hand it over I need a favor.”

  “A favor? Every breath you’ve taken since last we met is one I’ve thrown your way.”

  “And I need one more. I told you my principal was going to drop off my dough. What I didn’t anticipate is that she’s sending a proxy.”

  “Who?”

  “You don’t know him. He’s from out of town. Goes by the name Scourge.”

  I looked at the phone. “Scourge?”

  “Yeah. Stupid name, I know, but he’s got A-1 dark urges. He’d probably peel my cap and keep the dough for himself rather than do what he’s told and pay me my fee. But I figure with an ape like you on my elbow he won’t be so apt to go sideways. Then, after he slides me the green, I’ll slide you the name.”

  “Wow. Great plan. But I got a better one. Why don’t-”

  “Hey. This isn’t a negotiation. I got a line on the info you want, and you got muscle I need. Let’s do something here.”

  I thought about the pitch. And said, “Alright Bundy, that all sounds swell. Just tell me when and where you’re meeting this Scourge.”

  “Limestone Rock.”

  “That’s a big spot. Where exactly?”

  “On the roof of Blackstone’s Hubcap plant, off Old Access Road. He’ll be there at two, so I say we arrive by noon.”

  “Got it. Blackstone’s at noon. See you then.”

  “Hey Curse,” Bundy said.

  “Yeah?”

  “Don’t forget your hardware. This might not be as easy as all that.”

  “Thanks.” I hung up the phone and thought it over.

  This was perfect. Scourge was expecting to deal with Bundy, but instead he’d run into me. Assuming, that is, that Bundy was on the level. I remembered Monday’s warning about trusting him. And it was advice I’d take.

  So, instead of putting my faith in that half cape I’d head out right now, and be there two hours early. That way, if Bundy was setting up a double cross, I’d see it coming a long ways off, making it duck soup to blast Gunmetal, and catch Scourge unawares. Then I could beat the name I needed out of him and close Widow’s case without having to worry.

  I grabbed Lois and Rico, and slid them into my shoulder holsters. However this shook out, it was bound to be a big morning.

  Chapter 26

  Limestone Rock was an island that jutted out from the south part of town. Along with Highside, it’s what made Bittenbach a bay. But while the northern p
eninsula’s got the ports, Limestone Rock’s the hot ticket for manufacturing. Or at least it was until the lure of low cost labor and warmer climates became too much for the executives to ignore. Now Limestone Rock’s sort of a ghost town, a new old west boom burg that’s all but deserted save for a handful of active places and a whole lot of empty ones.

  The building I was going to, The Wild West Glove Depot, was one of the empties. It sat beside Blackstone’s abandoned hubcap plant, and at five stories it was the island’s tallest building. From on top of its roof I’d have a panoramic view, so I could spot any creeping adversaries from a ways off.

  I parked down an alley three blocks away, slapped on my mask, and crept towards the Glove Depot. I didn’t see a soul the whole trip. Unusual. But not unwelcome.

  When I arrived I climbed the fire escape and got to the top in seconds. The roof was as clear as the street below, save for the far corner where a couple of oil drums sat next to a pile of wooden pallets. If need be they might make good cover, but before I went rearranging my aerie I wanted eyes on the target.

  I turned and stared down at the top of Blackstone’s Hubcaps. Nobody there, either. I was completely alone. Now all I had to do was wait. It would be a few hours, but eventually they’d show. And then I’d open-

  “Fire,” someone yelled.

  I spun around.

  Two cops were standing behind the barrels in the corner. One had a shoulder mounted rocket launcher. It roared loud, and sent a yellow fireball towards me. The blast hit dead center so hard I could feel it in my teeth. It launched me off the roof. I twisted around as I plummeted to the ground. And struck the concrete.

  I got to my knees and looked around. The blast had knocked me over the road. I was right next to Blackstone’s. Across the street was a cop. He was running his mouth, but all I heard was ringing. I got to my feet. And stuck a finger in my ear and wiggled.