Dirty Games

by HelenKay Dimon

  There. Tough-talking, had-an-answer-for-everything Billy got rattled. Which was exactly what Finn wanted. “Not an option.”

  Billy stayed quiet. He stood there as if he were locked in some sort of informal staring contest. Finn refused to play. He would not be intimidated. It was taking all his energy not to sit down in the dirt. His knees were starting to shake from the mix of exertion and pain medication.

  Billy snorted. “You’ll leave soon enough. Your type always does.”

  Then he turned and stalked off, sending people scurrying out of his way as he went.

  The dramatic ending renewed some of Finn’s strength. Anger surged through him as he stared at Justin’s unreadable expression. “You picked that minute to be silent.”

  “It was bullshit talk, Finn. Nothing else. He was purposely trying to piss you off.” Justin shook his head. “He wouldn’t admit to using our shipments to run guns.”

  The half-assed defense of Billy ticked Finn off even more. He forced his body away from the tent and stood up straight. The camp began to wobble in his vision but he refused to give in to the aftermath of the crash.

  “His drivers are at the wheel when things go missing, and with that attitude? No. He’s done here. No more contracts with his company.” There was no way Finn was going to pay Billy with Drummond funds. The guy couldn’t be controlled. He had an ends-justifies-the-means philosophy for his business. He could do that shit on his own time. Finn didn’t want any part of supplying guns to any side in any battle.

  “Absolutely not.” Justin’s steady voice suggested he was equally entrenched in his view that Billy should stay.

  “What?”

  “He’s the best.” Justin blew out a long breath as he visibly wrestled with his growing frustration. “Look, I thought we had an understanding.”

  The dizziness, the pain…all of it was forgotten now. Adrenaline kicked in and Finn felt ready for battle. “Enlighten me.”

  “I run this camp.”

  Commanding Justin returned. Finn wondered if he’d ever really left, but at least he’d toned down for a few days. Rather than wind him up, Finn tried to stay reasonable. “You don’t handle the logistics of how the supplies get to you.”

  “You can’t be that naïve. You know I juggle everything and make deals. I take care of what needs to be done.” Fury moved into Justin’s eyes. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m not talking about arms deals and you know it.”

  Pissed off or not, Finn got that much. He could see through the haze to find that truth. “And?”

  “Give me some room.”

  This was not the battle Finn wanted to fight. “My problem isn’t with you. It’s with him.”

  “Back off, Finn. I won’t say it again.”

  “Gentlemen.” Oliver stepped up between them, clearing his voice as he joined them in front of Justin’s private tent. “You have an audience.”

  Finn appreciated the cooler head but now was not the time. He refused to let it slide, not when they were talking about guns and suspicious accidents and explosions. “You called me to Morocco for help.”

  “For the last time, I didn’t ask for you to come here.” By the time Justin finished the sentence he was yelling. “I didn’t ask you for anything.”

  The words body-slammed Finn. His gut ached from the force of it. “That’s still your response?”

  “Nothing has changed on that score.”

  “Right. You want Alec.”

  Oliver exhaled. “I think we’re off-track.”

  “Wait a second.” Justin’s expression changed to a questioning look as some of the color drained from his cheeks. “Don’t twist what I said.”

  They had mindless, unimportant sex. Justin didn’t need to say the words because Finn heard them just fine.

  “No, I got it.” Finn couldn’t listen to one more word. “Message received.”

  * * *

  —

  Finn took off in one direction, so Justin picked the other. He got as far as the door to his office and stopped. He thought about the look on Finn’s face when Alec’s name came up. Justin swore under his breath and started walking again.

  His mind refused to clear. He was pissed at himself, at Finn, at the situation, even at Billy. All that fury took up a lot of real estate in Justin’s brain. It seemed to wipe out anything else, including the right way to handle this situation.

  When Finn had passed out after the accident, Justin vowed to tone down the vitriol. His unwanted need for Finn had ratcheted up his defenses. He walked into every discussion with Finn like it was a confrontation. He’d been a dick and mentally promised to stop. But he failed. Holy shit, did he fail.

  He’d messed up and mentioned Alec again, as if he were the only one in the company who could settle the shipment mess. And the blow landed. Finn’s stunned expression made that clear. Justin had no justification this time. Finn really hadn’t done anything wrong except question Billy, who deserved to be questioned.

  Oliver caught up with Justin. “That was a fantastic display.” His tone suggested the exact opposite.

  Justin wasn’t in the mood to read between the lines. “Just—”

  “What? Sit down and be quiet? That’s the message you gave Finn. Does it apply to me as well?”

  He decided the best choice was to get some space from everyone, because his interpersonal skills were at their worst and he couldn’t seem to stop being the shittiest person in the room. “I really can’t do this now.”

  Oliver engaged in his usual habit of humming. “But you had time to rush in and defend Billy.”

  The flip from thinking about Finn to thinking about Billy had Justin’s brain rushing to keep up. “I get him.”

  “But you’re sleeping with Finn.”

  Why deny it? Justin hadn’t exactly been subtle when he thought Finn was in trouble. “Your point is?”

  “Does the guy really not get any credit for that?”

  “Credit?”

  “A break. However you want to say it.” Oliver shook his head. “I get that you’re loyal and when you believe something you entrench, but pretty soon you’re going to need to pick a side.”

  Justin had always operated on the theory that there was exactly one side—his. He needed to do his job, fight the right fights and help the people in his care.

  “I think you’re being dramatic. I got a bit heated. Finn is a big boy. He can take it.” But drama was not Oliver’s style. Sarcasm, sure. But the concerned expression said something else. Justin knew he deserved the shift in delivery. “But I appreciate you giving a shit.”

  “Then listen to me when I tell you to choose wisely.”

  * * *

  —

  It took Justin another half hour to find Finn. When the guy wanted to get lost he had no trouble making it happen. In any other circumstance Justin might admire the skill, but not now. Not today.

  Two employees who looked terrified to run into him during his search finally admitted they had seen Finn near Justin’s own tent. Part of him hoped that was true. If Finn had come looking for him and was ready to talk, it might make this conversation easier.

  Because it was time to tell Finn the truth. The attraction extended way back. Finn didn’t need the details, but the general outline might explain, at least in part, why Justin struggled so much with saying the right thing.

  Justin shoved open the tent door and there he was. Finn stood right by the bed with a phone and something else in his hand. Justin didn’t question Finn being there, in his private space. It seemed right. His scent filling the room, his presence.

  Yeah, Oliver was right. He had it bad for Finn and the feelings were getting deeper, more confusing, every single day.

  Finn held up his wallet. “I forgot this in here earlier.”

  The reason for him bei
ng there didn’t matter. Only the relief flooding Justin did. It told him that he had to tread carefully, find the right words. “I’ve been looking for you.”

  Finn made a noise that sounded like “uh-huh” then headed for the door. Didn’t try to bulldoze his way through Justin but didn’t make a wide circle to walk around him either.

  “Hey.” Justin grabbed Finn’s arm, careful not to tug on his sore shoulder.

  At the soft touch Finn stopped but didn’t give Justin eye contact. Not at first. “You know he’s problematic.”

  Justin didn’t pretend not to get it. “I do. But that doesn’t mean Billy is stealing and lining his own pockets, because that’s what he would have to be doing. This wouldn’t be a crusade for him. He’s a businessman. He believes in earning money, but the weapons trades would…”

  “What? Finish the sentence.”

  Finn didn’t pull away and Justin decided that was a good sign. It gave him the push to keep going. “I know what it’s like to do a job and do it well, and then feel like you’ve been thrown away. By literally everyone you know.”

  All the tension left Finn’s body. Justin watched as every muscle relaxed and Finn leaned in closer.

  “Your situations aren’t the same,” Finn said.

  That sounded good and Justin wished it were true, but he knew people didn’t work that way. They were complex and fucked up and a mix of good and bad, strong and weak. “There’s not that much that separates him from me. Some choices, maybe, but not as many as you want to think.”

  “You run a charity and give away most of your personal money.” Finn put his hand on Justin’s forearm, let it lay there. “He was a mercenary.”

  Again, Finn proposed a simple test. If only it were the right test, then Justin might be able to sleep better. The dreams might not haunt him. The idea of not doing enough or being too late or not yelling loud enough might leave him.

  Justin gestured for Finn to sit on the bed and then took the space next to him. “It’s not a clear line. You don’t always know when you cross it.”

  “Then I’ll figure out what’s really happening and show you the difference between Billy and you. To do that, I’m going to need to change tactics.” Finn rested his hands on his lap and stared at them. “We’ve got discrepancies in the paperwork, missing shipments, guns floating around and drivers we need to watch, but no real evidence. We have to catch someone in the act.”

  Panic rose in Justin. He clamped down on it, letting it morph into angry resolve, and shot it right back at Finn. “And by that you mean hire professionals. Because you are not putting yourself in that kind of danger.”

  The word forbid floated through Justin’s head. He almost said it until he remembered he was trying not to be a controlling asshole right now.

  Finn shot Justin a sad smile. He didn’t seem impressed with the edge to Justin’s voice or the way he shifted on the bed, trying to look straight into Finn’s eyes to make the point. “You don’t have veto power here.”

  The boss bullshit. Now was not the time.

  “I will do whatever I have to in order to keep you safe.” Justin didn’t mean to go that far, to say that much, but the words tumbled out. He couldn’t call them back but he wasn’t ready for that discussion or to admit Finn meant that much. Definitely not that. So he tried to blunt their impact. “Don’t read anything into it. Alec would kill me, is all.”

  “Right.” Finn stood up.

  On instinct, Justin reached out. He grabbed for Finn’s hand and tugged him to a stop. “Don’t go. You need to rest.”

  For a few seconds Finn just stood there. Exhaustion still pulled at the tiny lines around his eyes. He’d been battered and bruised in the accident but strength radiated off him. “I thought you wanted me gone.”

  “I suck at this, okay?” Justin hated the begging in his voice. Admitting even that much cost him something.

  “At what?”

  Damn. Finn wasn’t going to let him weasel out of this intact. “Just…don’t make me say it.”

  “Your mood changes from one second to the next.” Finn shook his head. “It’s hard to keep up.”

  “I know.” Justin did. He wasn’t an easy man. He fought emotions and tried to limit ties. He hated that Finn mattered, despised that weakness. But he was determined to control the knee-jerk reaction to shove people away and launch verbal blows. “And you’re in pain and tired.”

  “What are we doing here, Justin?”

  With a gentle pull, he brought Finn back down on the bed again. “I’m not completely sure, but let me touch you.”

  Before he could think it through and reject the thought, Justin dropped to the floor in front of Finn. He pushed Finn’s legs apart and kneeled between them. He didn’t know how to make the strained situation between them right or what words to say to apologize, but he knew how to give comfort. If only for a short time.

  He ran his palms up Finn’s thighs, over the smooth material of his pants. Justin ran through every play without a thought. This close to Finn, his body took over. He let his needs rule.

  Finn cleared his throat. “We’re at camp.”

  The crack in Finn’s voice. Justin took that as a good sign. “And?”

  “There are rules. You told me. All the precautions.” In contrast to his words, Finn’s hand slipped over Justin’s cheek, into his hair, drawing his face closer.

  “Tell me about those rules.” Teasing out the seduction, Justin reached up and eased in until their mouths met.

  The kiss was achingly slow. Their lips danced over each other, barely touching.

  “You said…” Finn’s words ended on a sharp intake of breath.

  The sound echoed through Justin. There was nothing sexier than the way Finn lost his breath. When Justin moved in closer, widening Finn’s legs a bit more, he heard a different sound, almost like a hiss.

  Justin pulled back. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” Finn held his body stiff, and something that looked suspiciously like pain glazed his eyes.

  Justin wanted to kick his own ass. “Your injuries.”

  “I’m fine.” Finn’s fingers trailed down the front of Justin’s shirt, landing on the top of his belt.

  What Finn needed now had nothing to do with getting his pants off or sex. It was about comfort and rest. Justin sucked at both, but for Finn he’d try. He nodded at the mattress. “Lie down.”

  “No, I want—” But his shoulders had already fallen and exhaustion seemed to pull and tug at him.

  “We’re going to nap.” When Finn smiled Justin held up a hand. “Yeah, I know it sounds stupid and if you tell anyone I said it, I’ll deny it. Get on the mattress.”

  “Uh…”

  Justin sat down next to Finn, then sprawled out on his side. He tapped the open space in front of him. “Come on.”

  After one final glance, Finn lay down. He pressed his back tight against Justin’s chest and sighed when Justin’s arm came around to anchor him there.

  “No one has ever ordered me to spoon before,” Finn said as his hand slipped over Justin’s.

  For a few seconds Justin didn’t do anything but listen to Finn’s breathing. It grew deeper and his body relaxed, balancing more of his weight against Justin.

  Sensing Finn had drifted off to sleep, he thought it was safe to answer. “I just want you to be okay.”

  That was the truth. All the years of being attracted, of wondering what it would be like to touch Finn, now he knew the truth. What he needed from Finn went far beyond sex…and that scared the hell out of him.

  Chapter 15

  The next day Finn’s thoughts weren’t any less confused. He understood Justin better now, at least a little. He shoved people away. It was like his fucking superpower. His voice softened and he talked, exposing a piece of himself…and then the gate crashed down
.

  Finn was familiar with the defense mechanism. He hated being on the receiving end of it.

  Coffee break over. He stood up from the table in the dining tent and nearly slammed into Kit and Ty.

  Ty smiled. “Sharp move for an injured guy.”

  The shoulder ache came screaming back but Finn fought off a wince. If Kit saw any signs of pain she’d have him drugged and in a hospital bed, and Finn did not have time for that. “I didn’t know you two were here.”

  “Supply run,” Ty said as he reached over and grabbed the unopened protein bar Finn had picked up but left on the table.

  “I also wanted to check on my patient.” Kit gestured toward the seat Finn just abandoned and raised an eyebrow until Finn sat. “You were slammed around pretty hard last night.”

  She had one of those little lights out and checked his eyes. Without saying a word, she opened the top two buttons of his shirt and checked the bandage. She operated in doctor mode, as if on autopilot, checking off whatever mental list she carried in her head. Then she stepped back and frowned at him.

  Finn didn’t like the look at all. “I’m feeling better. I swear.”

  “You don’t seem to have a fever.” Her chin lifted. “Any pain?”

  Finn was pretty sure this was a test of some sort. He debated lying but sensed that would cause more trouble, as it usually did. “The shoulder is sore and I don’t have full range of movement back yet. The headaches have dulled.”

  “Are you taking the pain medication?”

  Okay, that question he planned to avoid. “About that…” Finn glanced at Ty for assistance.

  He must have understood the silent request for help because he nodded then started talking as he unwrapped the protein bar. “I hear you and Billy had a blow-up.”

  Another annoying topic but Finn went with it. “Word gets around.”

  “Billy’s interpersonal skills need some work,” Kit said with an apologetic smile.