Besides that, everyone had a tendency to visit after dinner but, in the middle of the afternoon with plenty of hours left until mealtime, everyone was preoccupied doing their own thing. I thought perhaps a little romping would go unnoticed by everyone else in the castle.
I would regret my actions. I was nearly certain of that, but regret was an emotion I’d experienced far too little of since being thrown into the seventeenth century. In my old life, it seemed I experienced regret over one thing or another on a daily basis. My carefree nature and utter lack of responsibility allowed me to make far too many reckless decisions. While part of me was glad to be in a place where there was less trouble to get into, I also rather missed it. Tonight, I would allow myself another moment of recklessness—for memory’s sake if nothing else.
With my courage gathered as much as it would ever be, I stuck my head out of my bedchamber door to see if anyone was coming down the hallway from either direction. The moment I peered through the door, Cooper ran by me, throwing me an ornery smile before he took off around the corner.
I stood there a moment, waiting for the trudge of Orick’s footsteps that I knew would follow shortly after Cooper’s. Sure enough, he came down the hallway with one arm extended to feel his way and the other hand covering his eyes as he counted. I grinned as I watched him stumble down the hallway, only reaching out to him as he passed my doorway.
“Orick.”
He laughed as I grasped onto his arm, ceasing his counting as he dropped the hand from his eyes.
“Good afternoon, lass. He is hiding while I count; then I must go look for him.”
I smiled as I nodded. “Yes, I see. Have you seen Adwen around anywhere?”
“I only saw him as we ran past, but I believe he was in the sitting room, reading of all things. He was near the fire when I passed him.”
“Thanks. Having fun?”
He smiled, jerking his head in the direction Cooper had run. “I shall sleep well tonight. The lad has tired me thoroughly, though ’tis nice to spend a few days under his direction rather than Adwen’s.”
“Good. I’m glad he’s not driving you mad. You best get on after him. He’s not the most patient kid. He’ll know if you wait past your number to come and find him.”
“Right ye are, lass.”
Dutifully, he covered his eyes and started counting once again, slowly and clumsily moving his way down the hallway. Once he got to the end, he removed his hand from his face, stopped counting, and hollered after Cooper that he was on his way to find him.
I waited to exit my room until I could no longer hear any footsteps. When nothing but the sound of my own breathing reached my ears, I wrapped the robe more tightly around my waist and ventured out into the hallway.
I knew I was right about approaching Adwen in the afternoon when I met with no one on my way through the castle. I let out a sigh of relief as I slipped through the back door of the sitting room. Taking a quick glance around to make sure we were alone, I closed the door behind me.
It was a small room and one of the only spaces in the castle where burning a fire was actually productive. The open flames created so much smoke that windows had to be left cracked open while burning. In a large room if you were further than ten feet from the fire itself, the cool breeze from outside never allowed the heat from the fire to spread throughout the room. But in a room this small, every seat was near the fire, allowing the smoke to be vented while the heat of the flames warmed you through.
I took a step toward him and he stirred in his seat. I spoke immediately, not wanting him to say a word until I’d given him my speech. Otherwise, I knew I’d lose my nerve.
“Don’t turn around and don’t say anything—not until I’m done.”
When he didn’t move or speak, I continued.
“Look, I think you’re a cocky, pompous, ridiculously-spoiled, naïve brat, but in another life, I was all of those things as well. Most likely, you’ll have lost interest in me by tomorrow morning—that’s your usual habit with women, isn’t it? But I also know this—if you’d known the woman I was a year and a half ago, you’d not have believed that I wanted more than what you offered me that first night at the inn.
“Life here has changed me. It has made me want more, made me realize the things that are really important. From my own experience, I know that sometimes, very rarely, people can change. Or maybe not change so much, but as Isobel says, we grow. I don’t know. I’m rambling now. Basically, I just came to tell you this—I’m done.”
“I’m done fighting. I’m done denying. I’m done resisting. You’ve succeeded—Isobel took whatever it is you told her and wore me down. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt, Adwen, so please…do what you wish with me and then have enough sense to prove Isobel right. Be a better man than I believe you to be. Show me that good guys exist because, believe you me, I’ve not had the experience of knowing very many myself.”
I paused, shaking with nerves and anticipation as I moved my hands to the tie on my robe. With Adwen’s back still in the chair and his face away from me, I undressed, throwing the robe over my shoulder and into the air. I expected to hear the robe swoosh as it hit the ground but when I heard nothing, I twisted to look over my shoulder.
Adwen stood not two feet behind me.
* * *
It shouldn’t have been frightening, but the shock of seeing Adwen behind me when I’d thought him to be in front of me, felt a lot like a horrible dream—one where you think the psycho-crazy killer is one place but then he’s breathing down your neck.
I jumped and attempted to find my voice as I registered his presence near the doorway. “What? What are you doing there? I thought you were…” my voice was shaky and rather breathless as I pointed over my shoulder. “Who is that?”
Adwen smiled, tossing the robe gently back to me. “That would be Callum.” He raised his voice to address his brother. “Callum, if ye turn yer head around before I tell ye it’s safe to do so, I swear to ye, I will knock every last tooth from yer head.”
He turned his attention back to me, gesturing with his head in a way that told me he wanted me to cover myself. I made haste to do just that.
“And aye, lass, I can see that ye thought I was there instead of here, but here I am.”
There was humor in his eyes, but the embarrassment of the situation raised a sort of fury in me that erupted as I shook beneath my gown.
“Why did neither of you say anything? How long were you standing there, Adwen?”
Assuming it safe to turn around now that I was screeching at the both of them, I saw Callum rise from his chair, looking nearly as embarrassed as I felt.
“I’m sorry, lass, but ye said that I shouldna talk, and I dinna know who ye were talking to until well into yer lovely speech. And it felt a bit personal to interrupt. Ye hardly took a breath.”
Adwen laughed and moved to pull me toward him as he wrapped his arms around me. I still shook from nerves and embarrassment, but I allowed it, laying my head gently against his chest.
“Aye, and I was no about to stop ye, no when ye were calling me such kind names like pompous and spoiled. Warmed me right through, it did.”
“You heard everything? When did you walk in here?”
He bent and kissed the top of my head. “The same time ye did, lass. I only caught the doorway and slipped inside when ye went to close it. I saw ye walking down the hallway in yer robe and found myself verra curious about where ye meant to go.”
“Yes, I bet you were.”
Adwen squeezed me closer, speaking to Callum instead of me. “Time for ye to leave. Have Agnes prepare the meal this evening. I doona know if Jane and I will be there for it.”
Ducking his head, Callum nodded and scooted past us. Right as he walked by, Adwen bent his head, whispering in my ear as he cupped my bottom.
“Ye have the loveliest arse I have ever seen.”
My insides warmed at the touch of his hands, and I drew in a shaky breath as the do
or closed behind Callum.
“You should have said something.” I gently moved his hands from my rear, stepping away to look at him now that we were alone.
“I should have done no such thing. Ye shouldna have been walking the castle halls in yer robe.”
“I….I was trying to surprise you, I guess.”
“Well ye did and Callum too. Seems only fair that I surprised ye as well. Just what did ye mean to do with me here, after ye dropped that robe?”
I shrugged, a motion that caused the ties around my waist to loosen just the slightest bit, sending Adwen’s eyes straight toward the center of my chest. I relished knowing that he wanted to see me—that he’d enjoyed what he’d seen just moments before.
“Isn’t that obvious? I think I told you as much.”
“Aye, I heard what ye said, but ye dinna say it to my face, did ye?”
“Does it matter?” There was an increased sense of vulnerability, a heightened awareness of what was to come now that we stood looking squarely at one another. My flesh burned and ached with the anticipation of it.
“Aye, Jane, it matters verra much. If ye wish me to bed ye, I need ye to say so plainly. For ye have told me too many times that I would never have the pleasure of sharing yer bed.”
“You’re right.” I nodded, loosening the robe so that it fell open, revealing the dip between my breasts. I stepped toward him, reaching out as I neared him, placing one hand lightly on his chest as I slid the other hand down and underneath his pants, latching onto him. “I should have made myself more clear.”
Adwen gasped as I touched him, groaning as he leaned forward, bruising my lips with the intensity of his kiss. I slid my tongue along his lower lip, nibbling at it ever so slightly to slow him down.
“I want you…” I whispered breathlessly against him, “I want you to ‘bed’ me, Adwen.”
I moved in to kiss him again but was stopped as he reached to grab onto both of my wrists, pulling me away from him as he all but ran out into the hallway, his breath ragged and loud as he walked.
“What are you doing?”
He stopped and spun toward me, glancing back and forth down the hallway to make sure we were alone before moving his hands to my face. He gripped my cheeks roughly, holding my face but an inch from his own.
“I’ll have ye in my bed lass, no in a common room of the castle. Ye doona…ye canna know what ye’ve done.”
He paused and his lips quivered with need, sending a current of sparks down my core and out through the bottom of my toes. My heart sped up in response to it, my chest lifting and falling rapidly in time with his own.
“To touch me as ye did, to kiss me and move so surely, lassies rarely do that, Jane. Ye’ve unleashed a sort of beast within me. I…I doona think I can be gentle with ye.”
I didn’t want gentle. I wanted to be consumed by him, to have everything around me dissolve but the feeling of him. I let out a shaky breath and turned my face to kiss the inside of his palm before moving to look surely at him.
“Then don’t be.”
CHAPTER 25
My permission released Adwen from any restraint, and my back met with the wall in an instant. He clawed frantically at the robe. With one pull it fell open, revealing my entire front to him. One of his hands moved to the back of my neck and the other slipped between my legs, briefly cupping me before two of his fingers slipped deftly inside.
I gasped at the sensation, my hips moving against him as he worked them in and out of me, making me slick and ready, causing me to arch against the stones behind me. He thumbed at my breasts as he kissed me, bringing up the beads of my nipples as his kisses traveled downward.
I cried out in pleasure as he bit at one of my nipples, pulling it deep into his mouth, groaning as he moved between them. Teasing me until my breasts ached with desire for him, he grasped onto either side of my hips, pushing them hard against the wall before he dropped to his knees to press his lips against the inside of my thigh.
Slowly he moved upward. When his tongue finally lapped at my center, my knees gave way as I slumped against the wall. The only thing that held me upright was the pressure of his hands against me, and I squirmed and writhed in response to him. I relaxed, allowing the sensation to spiral me upward.
I peaked quickly, crying out as I climaxed, my heart thumping so rapidly that I could hear the blood pumping in my ears despite the intensity of my scream.
At the same moment, laughter reverberated off the walls around us, joined by the sound of approaching footsteps. In the midst of my pleasure, a keen sense of terror set in.
I could think of nothing more horrifying than the thought of Cooper running around the corner and finding us in such a position. There would be no explaining our way out of it, and therapists just weren’t available in the seventeenth century. I didn’t want to be responsible for that sort of childhood trauma.
“Adwen, stop. You have to stop.”
He pulled away from me slowly, shock spreading across his face as he looked up at me from his knees. His eyes remained glazed with lust, but they changed the moment he heard them, his eyes narrowing in panic as he stood and scooped me up, running with me in his arms the short distance to his bedchamber.
Once inside, he lowered me to my feet but kept a firm grip on both my arms.
“They heard yer screams lass, but as long as they dinna see ye, I doona care, for I have no doubt that they’ll hear them again. Get in the bed.”
“Nu-uh.” I pulled away. “I’ve had my moment. It’s your turn, I think. You look like you’re in pain.”
He laughed and kissed me quickly before leaning into me and pressing his forehead against my own. “Aye, I am in pain, Jane. Pure agony. I need to be inside ye.”
I stood on the tips of my toes as I moved my lips to his ear, allowing my lips to brush his skin as I spoke. I could tell by the way his breath caught that it stirred him.
“Then take off your clothes and get on your back, Adwen.”
His whole body jerked in a needy quiver. Without hesitation, he stepped away and removed his clothing.
“God, you’re beautiful.” The words tumbled from my mouth effortlessly. Taut muscles lay beneath smooth skin that was far darker than my own.
My eyes travelled curiously downward. I swallowed hard as my eyes rested on him. It was one thing to feel him with my hands; it was another thing altogether to see the size and length of him standing in front of me.
He grinned as he saw where my eyes landed.
“Is it too much for ye, lass?”
I looked up, regaining my composure as I walked over to him. He stood with his back facing the bed. Placing one hand on his chest, I pushed him backwards.
I raised both brows and glanced down at him as he scooted back on the bed, and I crawled on top of him.
“I think I can handle it.”
He reached for me then, pulling me so that our naked bodies spread across one another in heated fury. Our lips met as we tasted one another, our lips and tongues moving with such haste that we could scarcely breathe on our own.
I moved his hand in between my legs, and he groaned in acknowledgement of my readiness, lifting my hips so that I could sink down over him. Slowly, I lowered myself onto him and cried out as my out-of-practice body shifted to accommodate his length. He filled me completely.
He moved to pull my head down to meet his lips as he tried to roll me over so that I would be beneath him. I protested, rising up to push him down with my hand.
“No. Lay back.”
Our pace built quickly as we moved together. Before long, we were both lost in the sensation of the other. He held on, waiting for me to cry out before releasing himself inside me. Shaky but happy, I collapsed next to him and he pulled me into his arms.
We lay silently for a time, each of us catching our breath as the aftershocks of our pleasure coursed through us. I glanced over at Adwen and smiled, curious at his expression.
“What is it?”
&nb
sp; “What do ye mean, Jane?”
He turned so that we lay facing one another, leaning in to kiss my cheek.
“You look…I don’t know, your expression is surprised or something.”
“Aye, I think I am.” He turned and lay back so that he stared up at the ceiling.
“About what?”
“I am no a good man to either say or think this, but I’ll tell ye. With every woman before, when I would lie with them, I dinna look at them as I should have. I dinna see the color of their eyes or take in the shape of their mouth as they peaked beneath me. They were a blur of flesh and heat but little more. And afterwards, I dinna want them beside me, dinna wish to see them again.”
He paused and stared up the ceiling. It was a vulnerable confession and one I knew wasn’t easy to admit with me lying right next to him. He twisted once again, facing me as he placed one hand on the side of my face, gently brushing my cheek with his thumb.
“That is the way it has always been for me, lass. But now, as I lay next to ye, all I can see is the bright flecks of blue in yer eyes and the way yer lower lip trembled as ye cried out. I believe I’ll remember every curve of yer body until I die, Jane, and I’m more likely to chain ye to my bed so ye never leave it than I am to escort ye out of it.”
I leaned in to kiss him, my heartbeat picking up pace in response to his words. I ran my hands down his chest as I leaned into him. “I was afraid you were going to say something about the sex. Normally ‘surprise’ isn’t a good thing in the bedroom.”
“No, lass, I verra much enjoyed bedding ye, though that was surprising as well.”
“Was it? How do you mean?”
“I am accustomed to lassies behaving as if they doona know what to do inside a bedchamber, though ’tis evident verra quickly that they are no as pure as they’d have me believe. Still, they behave as if they are. Ye dinna do that, Jane.”
Love Beyond Compare (Book 5 of Morna’s Legacy Series) Page 14
