Never Far Away

by Marysue Hobika

  “My last class ends at 3 p.m. I could meet you after that.”

  “Perfect.”

  We finalized plans and hung up.

  ***

  Aidan was at the park when I got there. The lighting was perfect and I hadn’t been wrong about his eyes. They were an unusual shade of hazel and weren’t hiding behind glasses today. I’d asked him to dress up—pants with a shirt and tie. It was a sophisticated look and it suited his tall lanky build.

  “Hi, Aidan. Sorry, I’m late.”

  “You’re not. I’m just early.”

  I blinked. It sounded like something Teddy would’ve said. He was so punctual that he was early. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I looked around for a way out of this.

  “Here. I brought you a coffee.” Aidan held out a cup. “I wasn’t sure how you liked it so I took a guess—cream, no sugar.”

  The corners of my mouth turned up and my shoulders relaxed. I couldn’t leave now. “How did you know?” I always drank my coffee with only cream.

  “Lucky guess.” I looked at him skeptically, raising an eyebrow. I hadn’t been drinking coffee when we met. There was no way he’d know that. “Okay, okay. I bought three coffees all different—one with just cream, one with cream and sugar, and one black. I figured one had to be right—unless you drink tea.” He frowned. I thought it was sweet that he had gone to such lengths to try to make me happy.

  “Are you kidding? I love coffee. I never drink tea unless I’m sick. Thanks.” I sat down next to him.

  I watched as he pulled the other coffees he mentioned out from under the bench and began drinking one.

  “So how do you like your coffee?”

  “Black.” He took a sip.

  “What would you have done if I’d chosen that one?” I pointed at his cup.

  “I wouldn’t have cared.” He shrugged. I could tell Aidan was a sweet guy and I found myself leaning in closer when he talked.

  I told him how I got into photography. He was studying to be a mechanical engineer. The conversation was light and not at all forced. It was the first time in over a year I’d let my guard down to even have a normal conversation with a boy. Boys continued to ask me out my senior year, but I knew they were only interested in one thing and I never went out with any of them. After what almost happened at prom, and the rumors that spread like wildfire, I had a hard time trusting guys. And Reed hadn’t made it any easier. However, spending time with Aidan was different. Maybe all it took was finding the right guy. My heart felt lighter.

  We threw our empty cups in a nearby trashcan and then I found the perfect spot to take pictures. Aidan had never done this sort of thing before and at first he was stiff and uncomfortable. I coached him on what to do and soon he relaxed. On the other hand, I was never more myself than when I was behind my camera. I took countless pictures—close-ups and full body shots. I zoomed in on his eyes. Amazing. I looked through the photos. I’d gotten plenty of good ones.

  “That should do it,” I said, shutting off my camera. “You were really great.”

  He blushed. I never met a guy who blushed before and it made him look adorable. He was a nice guy and I was glad that I’d taken a risk and asked him for his number. It had turned out to be a great afternoon. I was feeling melancholy about it coming to end.

  “This modeling stuff made me hungry.” He patted his flat stomach. “You wanna grab a bite to eat?”

  “Yeah.” I smiled.

  “Cool. There’s a great burger joint around the corner.”

  It was a short walk to the restaurant. It was early, so it was empty. We sat down at a table and Aidan pulled my chair out. This guy was cute, easy to talk to, and had great manners. I’d picked a good one this time. The waitress came by and took our order.

  “How do you like living in the city?” Aidan ran his hand through his short, dark blond hair.

  “I love it.” The city was teaming with people to photograph. “It’s inspirational.” I wanted to be a fashion magazine photographer and there was no better place to be. New York City was the epicenter of the fashion world.

  “It took me awhile to adjust at first. I couldn’t sleep with all the noise. I grew up in a rural town and fell asleep to crickets chirping at night, not traffic.” I was surprised by this because I didn’t have Aidan pegged as a country guy. “A year later, I’m used to it. Now I appreciate the city that never sleeps. There’s always something to do.” He paused. “Actually there’s a party this weekend. Do you want to go?” Again he blushed slightly. His nervousness was adorable.

  “Sounds like fun.” And it did. I hadn’t been to a party since I’d arrived in New York. Hell, I hadn’t been to a party since my junior year in high school. Aidan’s sweet personality made it easy to trust him. I would still be careful—but it was time for me to move on. “Where’s the party?”

  “Near campus.” I continued to smile on the outside, pretending to be good with it, but on the inside my stomach did a flip-flop. What if I ran into Teddy? Him and Aidan were both sophomores and engineering nerds. I felt sweaty all of a sudden. I took in a deep breath. It was going to be okay. Teddy was always more of a stay-at-home kind of guy. My breathing remained normal. Aidan continued, “I’ll text you my address. We can meet there and then walk to the party together. It’s not far from where I live.”

  “Okay.”

  The waitress brought our food and we talked while we ate. I kept wanting to ask if Aidan knew Teddy, but I didn’t have the nerve. It would be weird to be on a date of sorts with one guy and ask him about another. I decided to let it go. Columbia was a big school. The odds were against them knowing each other.

  “So what will you do with the pictures you took today?” My heart warmed at his question. He wanted to get to know me. The real me. I was never more myself than when I was taking pictures or talking about my current projects.

  “I’ll go back to my room and download the pictures to my computer. Then I’ll look them over and place them into different folders. The project I have due next week is called, ‘Eye Witness.’ The interpretation is wide. I need to put together a series of pictures—no less than ten but no more than twenty.”

  “How many did you take today?”

  My cheeks heated. “I took two hundred and seventy-three.”

  His eyes widened. “That’s a ton.”

  “Yeah. Digital photography makes it possible to take a lot of pictures. I’ll choose the best ones. Others I’ll save for future projects.”

  “What’s your favorite subject to photograph?”

  This time I didn’t tell him the whole truth. No guy wanted to hear that the boy I’d loved for years had been my favorite subject. I had files filled with pictures of Teddy. It sounded creepy and stalkerish. I’d left those pictures at home, ready to move on. I kept my answer simple. “People. I want to be a photographer for one of the major fashion magazines.”

  His eyes roamed over me. I had on a skinny jeans and a flowing tank top. It was still warm in New York in September. My hair was in a loose braid hanging over of my right shoulder. I had to pull it back when I worked. The corners of his mouth turned up. “I can see you fitting in there.”

  “Thanks.” His compliment warmed my insides. I always dressed to impress and he seemed to approve. I was beginning to think he was a keeper. Time for me to find out more about him. “Where do you want to work someday?”

  “I haven’t really thought about it yet. I guess wherever I can make the most money. I’m going to have some hefty loans to pay back.” He winced.

  “Me too.” I’d also had to take out loans. My parents weren’t footing my bill, even though they could’ve easily afforded it—I was an only child and my parents were both professionals, although my mom hadn’t worked in years. However, they refused to help me because my dad didn’t think photography was a real career. He said I’d never amount to anything, and if I were smart I’d use college to find myself a good husband—one who’d graduate with a real job. My mom had trie
d to stick up for me, and sent me money from time to time, but there wasn’t too much she could do. I applied for loans and modeled on the side to pay the bills. “That reminds me, I should get going. I have other homework to do.”

  “So do I.” He motioned for the waitress to bring the check and then insisted on paying. Aidan was raking up the points. He even held the door open for me when we walked out. “I’ll see you Saturday night.”

  “Don’t forget to text me.” I wanted to give him an excuse to get in touch with me. I could easily picture myself with a guy like him. He was everything I needed.

  “I won’t.” He stepped forward until I could feel his breath. It was that awkward moment of indecisiveness. We were staring at each other, neither one of us saying anything. Suddenly, he leaned in closer and at the last second I turned my head to the side. His lips brushed my cheek. I liked Aidan—a lot, but there was no way in hell I was ready for him to kiss me. We’d only gone out twice, including the night we met. I needed time to get to know him better first. We had to build up trust. Also there was one other small issue—Teddy. He was the last boy I’d kissed. I still remembered the feel of his warm lips on mine and how my whole body had trembled. “I’m sorry. I like you…I just need to take things slow, okay?” I looked up at Aidan, begging him with my eyes to understand.

  “Of course.” He ran his thumb along the side of my face. “I’m sorry.”

  “You don’t need to apologize.” I didn’t want to make Aidan feel bad—he was a nice guy. I just needed to take baby steps. “Thanks for lunch. I had a good time.” I smiled and it wasn’t a fake one either. I didn’t need to pretend. I’d had a great afternoon. “I’ll talk to you soon.” I turned and walked in the direction of the closest subway stop. Two steps later, I looked over my shoulder and waved. He was still standing there. I flashed him a brilliant smile. I wanted to move on and I hoped I hadn’t ruined my chance with him. He waved back, his hazel eyes sparkling in the late afternoon sun. My stomach did a somersault—in a good way.

  Theo

  I slammed my textbook shut. If I looked at another differential equation I was going to go fucking crazy! I rubbed my forehead. My brain hurt from studying. It was Saturday night and I was anxious to do something. Anything was better than this. I shoved my shit in my bag and left, texting the guys on the way out to see what their plans were for the night. I knew there was a huge party going down at one of the fraternities. It wasn’t my usual scene, but I’d go if that was what my boys wanted to do. It didn’t take long for them to respond.

  When we arrived an hour later the frat house was jamming. Joe and Darian stopped to talk to a friend, but I headed right for the keg. Too much studying was never a good thing. It was time to get wrecked.

  I knew several of the guys in this fraternity because I tutored a few for extra cash. They let me in, and I could bring anyone I wanted, because I was that good. “Hey, Pat.” He wasn’t a frat brother either, but like me he crashed their parties. He had more connections than anyone on campus. He was filling up a cup too. “How’s it going?”

  “Good. Real good.” He nodded his head toward a small circle of friends. “Isn’t the chick with the black hair fucking hot?” I turned in the direction he pointed, moving my eyes up and down her body. He gripped my shoulder. “Don’t even think about it. She’s mine.”

  The girl was gorgeous, but she wasn’t my type. She looked like she fit right in with Pat’s tattoos. “You’re one lucky bastard. But personally I’m more into blondes. Platinum blondes.” I had no idea why I’d just said that, especially when I tried my hardest to forget. But there was something about Pat’s girl that reminded me of Stella, even though they couldn’t have looked more different. I studied her for another second and then it came to me. It was what she was wearing. She had on a tight skirt, black lacey stockings, ankle boots, and a light sweater on top, making her one of the best-dressed chicks here. Stella always dressed to kill, too. Even in high school she wore outfits no other girl could’ve gotten away with. Her wardrobe consisted of short dresses and skirts, and trendy tops, all thanks to her road trips to New York.

  “Funny. My roommate, Aidan, just left with a smokin’ hot blond. We met these three hot chicks at a bar last weekend and they came out with us tonight. Aidan and the blond, I can’t remember her name, left early. She wasn’t feeling well. But the next time I see her I’ll ask her if she has a sister. I owe it to you, man.” He slapped me on the back. “If it weren’t for you they’d have kicked me outta this school a long time ago.”

  I chuckled. I tutored Pat, but he was exaggerating. Despite his rough look he was smart. He had a high B range in all his classes. “No worries. You can thank me by referring my mad skills to your friends. A dude’s gotta eat.” I patted my stomach. My parents paid my tuition and rent, but I bought my own food. And my stomach was a bottomless pit. Already today I’d consumed almost 3,000 calories.

  “It’s a deal.” We shook hands. He glanced at the girl again. And I didn’t blame him for wanting to get back to her.

  “Hey, I don’t mean to keep you, but I got a question.”

  “Shoot.”

  “What school does your girl go to? I’ve never seen her or her friend on campus.”

  “Some fashion design school, but I don’t remember the name.” He shrugged. “Sorry.”

  “No problem.” I didn’t elaborate on why I’d wanted to know and he didn’t ask. “Go. You’ve kept her waiting long enough.” I gave him a push in her direction.

  “See ya around, Theo.”

  I sipped my beer, wondering if the girls were from Parsons New School for Design. That’s where Stella went and I could easily picture her being friends with these two girls. Too bad I’d gotten here late. It was just my luck. My gut said it was Stella and I’d missed her. Fuck! Was I ever going to get a chance to set things right? And now it sounded like she was dating someone—Pat’s roommate. I pounded my beer and refilled my cup.

  I kept looking toward the door, hoping to see her walk through it—alone. I thought about what I’d say to her. Maybe I’d just kiss her again. I wanted to feel her soft warm lips and her body pressed against mine. It was all I ever thought about. I just didn’t know how to go about getting her back when she refused to see me. I’d called her a few times the first week of the semester. She still had the same number, but she never answered or returned my calls. Maybe it was time for me to come to terms with the fact that Stella and I weren’t happening.

  “Hey, Theo. I didn’t know you were going to be here.” I was still standing near the keg when Heidi found me, drowning my sorrows. We’d met last year in English 101. I liked her and we were friends. Period. She wasn’t someone I hooked up with, even though she had almost the same hair color as Stella and fit my normal MO, because she was the kind of girl who was looking for more than a one-night stand and I couldn’t give her what she wanted.

  “It was a last minute decision, but I’m leaving.”

  “Oh, I was hoping we could hang out.” She sounded disappointed. “Maybe another time.” I walked away without promising her anything.

  I found my boys and told them I was going to jet.

  “Dude, we just got here,” Darian complained.

  “Yeah, I know, but I’m just not feeling it.” I casually nodded my head in Heidi’s direction. They knew she was after me and that I wasn’t interested.

  “You should hit that,” said Joe. “Maybe a girlfriend would help you forget about your ghost.” I knew that wouldn’t work. I’d tried that back in high school and it had blown up in my face. There was only one out there I wanted to call my girl. Too bad she wasn’t having it. But she ruined me and now all I was interested in was a piece of ass to keep me warm at night with no strings attached.

  “No thanks, man. I’ll see you guys later.”

  I took the long way home. The cool fall air felt good and I wasn’t in a hurry. As I walked, I searched for Stella—looking for long blond hair lighting up the darkness—but there
was nothing. I wondered if she was lying in Pat’s roommate’s arms or if she was in her dorm room looking through the thousands of photos she had on her computer. I’d seen her spend hours in front of her computer back home. My fingers itched to call her, but I didn’t. How could I now?

  Stella

  Tonight marked the third official date with Aidan. The last time we went out I’d gotten sick and we’d left the party early. Aidan was such a gentleman; he escorted me all the way back to my dorm, kissing the top of my head. I wanted to make it up to him. We were going out to dinner, just the two of us.

  Aidan held out my chair and I sat down. He’d chosen a small Italian restaurant. “You look beautiful.”’ He sat down across from me. I recognized the heated look in his eyes. I’d put extra effort into my outfit. Tori had lent me a blue sleeveless dress from Anthropologie that I wore with a pair of my favorite knee-high boots. It was sexy and daring, and I could tell he liked it.

  “Thank you. You look nice too.” He had on khaki colored pants and a dress shirt that made his hazel eyes look more blue than green.

  A waiter came and took our order and then it was just the two of us again.

  “Thank you.” I looked around the restaurant, taking it all in, before my eyes landed on him.

  “For what?”

  “I got my photography project back, the one you helped me with, and I got an A.” It was my first grade of the semester and I couldn’t have been happier. The professor was rumored to be one of the toughest in the department and it meant a lot coming from him.

  “That’s great.” Aidan shared in my excitement, and then frowned. “I got my first test back and I can’t say I did as well. I got a C+. There’s this guy I know who tutors, he’s a friend of a friend, and I’m thinking about asking him for help.” I winced when he said ‘a friend of a friend.’ Those were the exact words Lena had used to describe Reed and he still wouldn’t leave me alone. I tried not to think about that right now and instead focused on what he was saying. “Everyone says he’s the best. He gets straight A’s and promises a B to anyone he tutors.”