Never Far Away

by Marysue Hobika

  I arrived almost an hour before the exhibit opened. A tiny smile formed on my lips when I realized how much extra time I had. Punctuality had always been one of Teddy’s top priorities. My smile grew as I thought about him. It still hurt, but breaking up with him hadn’t been for nothing. Last week Lena told me that he’d accepted the internship at the NSA. My plan worked. I allowed myself to remember his strong arms wrapped around me. My stomach was twisted in nervous knots, but thinking about Teddy calmed me. His gentle manner and soothing voice helped me get through some rough patches in the past. Maybe soon I’d let myself think about a future with him again. But first I had to get through tonight.

  I double-checked my work and then walked around, admiring the other students’ images, mentally comparing theirs with mine. There were a few contenders, but I knew I had a real chance at being offered a summer internship at one of the leading fashion magazines. My work was bold and daring. It showed that anything was possible.

  I stood proudly by my photographs and answered questions. Every time someone stopped by I thought for sure this would be the one, but then they’d move on and I was left pretending that I was okay. Time ticked by slowly. I witnessed two students getting approached about their work. I couldn’t overhear their conversations from where I was standing, but I could tell by the look on their faces that they were being offered my dream. I tried not to think about what it would mean if I didn’t get a summer internship. Eventually the crowd started to thin. There were only five minutes left. My back and feet hurt from standing. The exhibit would be open to the public for a week, but opening night was the only night magazine executives cared about.

  I threw on my coat and headed toward the exit. My chest felt heavy. I wanted to get out of here quick before I couldn’t breathe. I knew this feeling. My eyes filled with tears. Only two more steps and I’d make it outside and then I could let it all out.

  “Excuse me, are you Stella Freeman?” A woman dressed in an expensive navy blue Chanel suit stopped me just before I reached the door.

  “Yes.” I didn’t want her to see that I’d been seconds away from a breakdown. I quickly pulled myself together. She looked like she could be from a prominent magazine.

  “I’m sorry I got here late, and then of course I walked in the other direction, not getting to your work until almost the end, and then you were gone. I’m glad I caught you.” She held out her hand, “I’m Deborah Song from Mod magazine and I was wondering if there was somewhere nearby we could go to talk, since the exhibit is closing for the night. You have a tremendous amount of talent.”

  I was in shock. Was my dream going to come true? “Thank you.” I was practically beaming. “There’s a coffee shop right around the block.”

  “Wonderful.”

  Our heels clicked on the sidewalk as we walked. I had to hold myself back from sprinting. We ordered coffees and then sat down in a quiet corner. I felt like I was in a dream as she explained the summer internship. It was more than I could’ve ever hoped for. Mod was one of the world’s leading fashion magazines. I’d finally done it! I was good enough! I had what it took to make it in this industry. My dad was wrong—I was somebody. Thank God, I hadn’t let all those times he cut me down stop me from going after my dream. I stood tall and put my shoulders back. I was proud of who I was. And the best part was that I had done it on my own, without my parent’s help. I could barely contain my excitement as we exited the café. She reminded me come to the office in the morning to complete the necessary paperwork.

  Out on the street I caught a taxi. Without even thinking twice I gave the driver the address. Someone was coming out of the building when I arrived, so I walked right in and climbed the two flights of stairs. My feet weren’t killing me any more. I barely noticed that I was wearing three inch heels as I ran up the stairs. I knocked on the door. I’d been so excited I hadn’t even stopped to think about what I was going to say.

  I could hear music playing as I waited for the door to open. I knew someone was home. I knocked again.

  “Damn. Long time no see.” Darian’s eyes widened in surprise and then darted into the room behind him. He didn’t look happy to see me.

  My stomach plummeted. What was that look for? I moved to see around him. My eyes landed on Teddy, but he wasn’t alone. I was too late. He was sitting on the couch next to a pretty brunette. I turned and fled, taking the steps two at a time. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going. My body was on autopilot. I had to get out of there, and fast. My foot reached the bottom step, and I fell. Damn It! My ankle twisted and pain shot up through my leg.

  Theo

  “Dude, are you just going to sit there?” Joe asked, sounding incredulous. “Go after her.”

  “Nah. She doesn’t want me.” I didn’t move. I felt dead inside. I didn’t think I was capable of feeling any more. Stella had broken me.

  “Who was that?” Pat came out of the kitchen with a cold brew in his hand. He stopped by to pay me for tutoring because he’d forgotten his wallet the last time and stayed to drink a beer.

  “Stella,” Joe answered for me.

  “What did she want?” Pat sat down and took a long pull on his beer.

  “I don’t know. She took off before saying anything.” I shrugged. When I spoke it came out flat and emotionless. I’d thought about chasing after her, but I didn’t. Stella was the one who broke up with me, not the other way around.

  Pat shared a look with my roommates. “Theo, dude. You are the smartest guy I know, but right now you’re acting like a fucking idiot.” My shoulders tensed and I thought I might hit him. I made a move to stand, but Joe didn’t let me.

  “You need to listen to what he has to say, man.” Joe stared me down and I relented, flopping back on the couch and crossing my arms.

  “She’s a mess. Lena is going to kill me for telling you this, but I can’t hold back any more,” Pat continued. “Stella knows about your internship. That’s why she broke up with you. She did it for you. She knew you weren’t going to take it and she didn’t want to stand in your way. She didn’t want to be the reason you didn’t go for it. The part about you being a distraction to her was a lie. She’s still in love you, man.”

  What? “Fuck!” I jumped up off the couch and threw open the door, taking the stairs two at a time. I had to catch her. All this time I thought I was getting in her way, but it was the opposite. She was worried she was standing in mine. And that was the furthest thing from the truth. I had contemplated not taking the internship because I wasn’t sure I wanted to work for the NSA when I graduated like I’d always thought. I was good at cyber security, but I was more interested in being a professor someday and doing research, rather than working for the government. I didn’t tell Stella about it because I wanted to make my final decision before I said anything to her, thinking it might be a moot point if I didn’t accept it. I realized now it was a grave mistake. Of course she thought it was about her and I felt terrible that she’d been carrying that around with her for the past few months. In the end, I took the internship. I thought it would look good on my resume whether I wanted to work for the government or not. I took the last flight of stairs at top speed.

  “Stella.” I pushed open the door to the street. I looked left. Relief swept through me. She was less than a block away and she was limping. She must have fallen in those damn heels she was wearing. I caught up to her in a few long strides. All those miles had finally paid off. “Are you okay?”

  She was crying. “Leave me alone.”

  That wasn’t going to happen. Not this time. “I know you know about the internship.” She looked up at me; her eyes were brimming with tears.

  “You do?”

  I picked her up and cradled her in my arms. I kissed the top of her head. “Yeah. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think I was going to take it. I no longer want to work for the NSA when I graduate. I’m leaning towards getting my PhD and becoming a professor. I’m sorry. I should’ve told you.” I touched my for
ehead to hers.

  Guilt filled her face. “Oh, Teddy. No. I should’ve told you I knew. My dad mentioned it to me over Christmas.” Her diamond blue eyes looked tortured. She should’ve known better to believe anything her dad said. He didn’t lie, but he manipulated people. I wished she would’ve come to me. “I thought you didn’t want to take it because of me and I didn’t want to stand in your way. We’d just gotten together and I told you how I had a panic attack when you went away to college. I thought that you were worried about leaving me. I made up the lie about you being a distraction. I thought it was the only way you’d let me go. I’m so stupid.” Her body shook. She was silently crying.

  I lifted her chin with my finger, forcing her to look at me. “I appreciate your efforts. I know you did it for me. But from now on let’s not keep secrets from each other.” There was going to be a “from now on.” I was making sure of it.

  “I’m sorry, Teddy. I fucked up.” Tears continued to fall down her beautiful face and I wiped them away. I didn’t want her to be sad. I didn’t care about that shit anymore. She was here and that was all that fucking mattered. I loved her.

  I wanted to make her feel better. “I took the internship.” She smiled slightly. “You know Baltimore is only two hours by train.” My tone was light and teasing.

  “I know.” She buried her face against my chest. I loved feeling her there and I planned to never let her go again. She belonged with me. We belonged together.

  “We can work things out.” I carried her back into my building and up the stairs to my apartment. I wasn’t giving her the chance to run away again. She lifted her head and suddenly her eyes widened.

  “Put me down, Teddy. I have to go.” She fisted the front of my shirt and struggled against me.

  “Go? You haven’t even told me why you showed up here tonight.” I kept climbing. Only one flight left.

  “Put me down. I don’t want to meet her.” She was trembling in my arms and I feared she was going to have an anxiety attack. Her breathing was becoming labored.

  I stopped in the middle of the stairs. “Who?” Then it dawned on me. “Michelle? The girl I was sitting next to?” She nodded. I ran my thumb down her cheek and along her jaw. “You think Michele is my girlfriend? Is that why you took off?” I lifted her chin so that I could look into her eyes. She had to know that there was only one girl for me. “She’s not my girlfriend. She’s Joe’s twin sister. She came to town for the weekend. The only girl I want is right here in my arms.” I continued to talk softly to her as I carried her up the remaining steps and through the apartment to my room. I wanted her to feel safe. There was no reason for her to panic. She relaxed against me and nestled her head under my chin. “Remember the day I found you and I carried you just like this out of the bar. It was snowing outside, and the world looked pure and clean, all covered in snow. It was a beautiful night. It was the first night we were together.” I gently put her down on my bed. I was in love with this beautiful woman.

  “I’m so sorry, Teddy.” She sniffed.

  I leaned over her and put a finger in front of her soft lips. “Shhh, Angel. Just let me love you.”

  Her answer was to reach up and pull me down next to her. She kissed me like her very life depended on it. And all the feelings and emotions I’d kept locked inside of me for the past few months came rushing out. The kiss was deep and powerful. I didn’t want to stop—ever. We stayed wrapped like that in each other’s arms for several long minutes, getting reacquainted with each other’s mouths again. She tasted sweet and I made several sweeps of her mouth with my tongue. I needed her. I wanted her. Finally I tore myself away.

  “Is your ankle okay?” I took off her shoe and gently held her foot in my hand.

  “It’s fine.” She gasped as I lightly stroked her ankle and then brought it to my lips. God, I fucking missed this. I missed every single part of her and my memory hadn’t done her beauty justice.

  I raised one eyebrow. “Are you sure that didn’t hurt?”

  “I’m sure.” She sighed and my blood heated.

  I removed her other shoe and did the same thing. I ran my hands up her silky smooth legs just liked I’d dreamt about for months. Her skin was so soft. I moved over her and crashed my lips against hers. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.

  I reached around her and unzipped her dress, pulling it off over her head. My breath caught in my throat. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Angel.” She was in my bed again. I was so overwhelmed I wanted to cry. I stared at her, memorizing this moment.

  “So are you.” Her hands removed my shirt and roamed over my back. “I want you, Teddy. Now.” Her hands were undoing my belt.

  “I’m all yours.” I stood and removed my jeans and boxers. Her remaining clothes ended up in a pile on the floor with mine. When I laid back down, feeling her skin to skin made every nerve ending spark and ignite. I bit the inside of my cheek. I needed to calm the fuck down or I was going to feel too much too soon, and I wanted this more than my next breath. I wanted to taste Stella and make her mine again.

  I explored every inch of her body. I was like a starved man. I couldn’t get enough. I bit her shoulder and neck. I gave her beautiful breasts the attention they deserved. I planted light kisses all over her body. She whimpered and moaned beneath my ministrations. I would cherish my sweet angel. Now. Always. And forever.

  Slowly I worked my way down, reaching between her legs. “Fuck, Stella. You’re soaking wet.” I put a finger inside and it pulsed with need. I took my time, kissing her inner thighs and then her swollen lips. She cried out my name when my tongue made contact. I licked her sweet folds and sucked on her clit. She tasted so fucking good. It didn’t take much. She came quick and hard, but I didn’t stop. I slid another finger in and pumped them in an out, working her into another frenzy.

  “Teddy, please. Fuck me! I need you to fuck me!” Her voice was raw and she sounded like she needed me in the most primal way. I understood and I was more than ready.

  “Okay, Angel.” I kissed her hard on the mouth and then pulled away. “Just let me grab a condom and then I’ll give you what you need.” I went to stand and she stopped me, grabbing a hold of my arm.

  “I’m on the pill. I didn’t want to take any chances if we ever got back together.” She looked at me through her impossibly long eyelashes, her cheeks heating up. “Plus I liked how it felt without the barrier between us. I liked feeling all of you, especially when you came.”

  “Fuck, Stella. Could you be any hotter?” My cock throbbed with the desire to feel her again. The last time we’d made love was the night before Christmas Eve. It felt fucking amazing. It was the one and only time I’d ever had sex without a condom and the thought of having Stella’s wetness surround me like that again took my breath away. I didn’t know if I’d last long, but it didn’t look like she would either.

  She grinned wickedly and opened her legs. I positioned myself at her entrance and thrust into her hard, giving her what she needed. I pounded into her over and over again as she dug her nails in my back. Her wet pussy wrapped tight around my cock. We were both so worked up that it wasn’t long before we were gasping each other’s names.

  Afterward, I tucked her against my chest from behind and held her tightly. We fell asleep in each other’s arms, exhausted and spent. It was the first night in months I slept more than a couple of hours. The next morning I woke up feeling rested. My leg and arm were thrown over Stella, pinning her down. I didn’t move. I enjoyed the view while I waited for her to wake up. When she opened her eyes a half an hour later, I was still staring at her beautiful face. I didn’t want to look away. I’d missed her so fucking much.

  She struggled to move underneath the weight of my limbs. I moved my arm and leg off of her. “I wanted to make sure you weren’t going anywhere in the middle of the night.” My tone was light and teasing, but there was some truth behind my words. There was no way in hell I’d ever let her go again.

  “There’s nowhere else I’d ra
ther be.” She placed her hand on the side of my face. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.” It was amazing how powerful those three little words could be.

  This time when our bodies came together we made love. It was deep and powerful. Our hearts beat together and we were one. I knew we would get through anything—as long as we held onto each other.