1 Executive Lunch

by Maria E. Schneider

  "Look the part?" Did he know I was a fake? Did everyone know?

  He continued blissfully, "I have been wanting to get one of these babies in. We could use some in the lab. Of course with all the emissions in here I'm not sure how well it will work. So then I'd have to take it to my office." He looked very hopeful.

  I scratched my head and thought about this. "So if I were to sign off on this very necessary purchase, you are suggesting that you'll need one for yourself?" I was greatly relieved to discover his comment about blending in wasn't because he was aware of my duplicity. He was just hoping to gain from my new position. Not exactly an offer to cash in charity checks, but it was a start.

  Tam grinned and looked like a four-year old with a new fire truck. "Be most happy to assist you with yours when it gets in. I'll install them both."

  "I don't suppose you lost mine on purpose?"

  He looked confused. "What?"

  "Never mind. Just order whichever one you think will work best."

  "You need anything else?" he asked quickly.

  I looked back. He was grabbing catalogs and paging frantically. "What else do I need?"

  "Flat panel monitor. There's this new one out." He held up a picture and pointed.

  I waved my hand. "Fine. Better get a couple."

  "Cool!"

  At least someone had found a use for my new position. I went back to my desk to stare at the impossible schedule and look up new curse words on the web.

  Tam had an order form filled out and on my desk before the end of the day. I signed it and stared at my signature. Just like that. A few thousand dollars, and all I had to do was sign. No wonder Tam thought it was so cool.

  As I turned the paperwork in, I hoped no one needed the network card Tam had been working with when I walked in to ask about a mouse. I vaguely remembered it disappearing under a tall pile of catalogs. Unfortunately, before I could go back to the lab to remind him about it, my mother called. Abba wasn't the only one that had seen my face in the newspaper. Of course, I was pretty sure that my brother had something to do with my parents looking in the newspaper, but that wasn't the point.

  "We decided on a surprise visit," mom informed me. "We're staying with Sean."

  My parents usually stayed with me rather than Sean, but who was I to complain? "Oh, that's…great!"

  "I know you're at work and very busy, and we got in early, so we'll just stay here with Sean where we'll be out of the way."

  I wasn't fooled. Parents never have a problem inconveniencing their children. "I didn't know you were flying in."

  "We're just driving through. Your father wanted to make a trip up to Denver. We're planning a nice, relaxing dinner for tonight, here at Sean's. Can you make it?"

  I was pretty sure the trip was all about finding out what had happened at Strandfrost. No wonder they stopped at Sean's house. Without me around, Sean had likely told them everything he knew and also thrown in a few suppositions. "Of course I'll be by for dinner."

  "Good. We can't wait to see you."

  Now I had to get home on time because I had dinner plans. "Great." I raced through a "suggested" version of the schedule, knowing it didn't matter anyway. I mailed it to my illustrious colleagues and headed home to whip up a cake for the "nice, relaxing dinner."

  Chapter 22

  By the time I trundled over to Sean's house, I felt like I'd been through the wringer. If my mother weren't such a great cook, I'd have stopped and gotten a store cake, but she would have noticed.

  Letting myself in, I yelled "hello" and headed for the dining room where I found my mother. She didn't look her regal self. Her reddish-brown curls were completely untamed. Her face looked pinched around her eyes.

  "Hello, dear."

  I immediately felt guilty as she hugged me tight. There were actually tears in her Irish green eyes.

  I would quietly kill Sean later.

  Dad was in the backyard crawling around on the grass, not unusual since he was an agricultural scientist. From the look of concentration on his face and the tweezers, it was likely that Sean's lawn wasn't up to snuff.

  Without greeting my treasonous brother, I hopped out to the back porch, letting the screen door slam so that dad would possibly notice my presence.

  It took a while to register, but the banging did the trick. He looked up, blinking into the bright setting sun. "Well, hey!" He brushed his hands off and stood. "Did you know that your brother has a grub problem?"

  I shook my head and grinned. "No, really?" I enveloped dad in a hug, at least as much of him as I could get my arms around. He stood six feet tall and was as big around as a giant oak tree. He built a lot of muscle moving plants around, mixing soil and digging. His hair always looked slightly unkempt and out here in the breeze, the black strands with just a hint of gray danced to their own tune. "Heard you were in a bit of a spot, but you look just fine." His coal-black eyes sharpened on mine for a moment. "I expect next time maybe you'll be a little more prepared."

  "Dad, they don't let me carry a weapon at work!"

  He smiled. "No, I expect not. But Sean wasn't particularly happy with your self-defense. Beef it up next time." The worry was there behind his eyes, but dad trusted me. He knew I had done what I could. My mother and brothers made up for his perceived leniency.

  Brenda came out onto the porch, drying her hands on a dishrag even though she hadn't been in the kitchen a few seconds ago. Unlike my mother's flushed kitchen cheeks, her face was perfectly relaxed. Her short haircut barely stirred in the light breeze. She announced happily, "Dinner is almost ready. Sedona, thanks so much for the cake! You know I love that recipe!"

  My mother watched us from the kitchen window. Her strawberry curls bobbed up and down rather frantically. Sean came out and dad launched into a discussion of beetles and proper lawn care. It would have been easier to just sit on the porch, but mom looked like she needed company so I went back inside.

  "Could you boil some eggs?" she hissed.

  "What?"

  She looked fugitively through the back screen door. "She made deviled eggs." Mom's face blanched. "Lord knows what she put in them. I didn't ask. But we can't serve that! Sean invited his friend over!"

  Brenda had my recipe for deviled eggs. I looked into the fridge and had an inkling of what had gone wrong. The recipe called for bacon. She apparently misunderstood or ignored the part of the instructions that specified that the bacon must be chopped very, very small. Her eggs had huge lumps of bacon with some of the stuff actually draped over the sides of the eggs. The paprika was so heavy, it looked like a burial.

  I sighed. No wonder my mother had nearly been brought to tears. "Does she have any more eggs?"

  Mom nodded and pointed to the pot of water she had set to boil. "I sent Sean." She rolled her eyes. "I got lots of other extra stuff. Sean is going to grill some steaks, and I made broccoli cheese soup and Caesar salad. You didn't tell me you were interested in Sean's policeman."

  I nearly dropped the eggs. "Sean didn't tell me I was."

  She turned and caught my tightly drawn lips. "You did know he was coming, didn't you?"

  Of course I hadn't. I should have brought a date. That would teach my conniving brother. Being my brother though, he assumed I was too much of a loser to have a date. Of course, only a completely desperate daughter would bring a date to meet her parents on such short notice, knowing full well that said parents would leap to all kinds of false assumptions.

  I started the eggs and the bacon while mom arranged a veggie tray. Being me, I stole some celery filled with peanut butter. "Sedona! What will your date think?"

  Nearly choking on the celery, I looked up to see that Sean had come back in. Very succinctly, I said, "I don't have a date." Hadn't I said that before just recently?

  Sean chose to ignore my challenge. He stole his own handful of carrots before retreating, carefully remaining out of knife range the entire time.

  Mom ignored the mutual glaring.

  Derrick show
ed up before Sean put the steaks on. I managed to avoid everyone while introductions were made. It was pretty obvious that no one had told Derrick he was my date either.

  Sean and Derrick went out to get the grill ready and mom arranged the vegetable tray within easy reach. We finished the eggs and brought them outside too.

  Brenda helped herself to the eggs. She didn't seem to notice that half a pig was now missing. "Do you like the eggs, honey?" she asked Sean coyly.

  Sean nodded. "These are great. Taste just like Sedona's." He spoke around a mouthful.

  Brenda beamed. "They are her recipe."

  My mother looked pained. She offered Brenda a glass of soda and poured it for her, taking ice from the outside cooler. It was the last of the two-liter bottle. Dad noticed and frowned. "You don't need that soda jug, do you?"

  Mother looked wary. "No."

  Dad took it from her. "I can use it. I'm working on new slug traps. Drowning them in beer doesn't work, but I found that if I put slug bait in the bottom of a plastic bottle with a small hole in the side, slugs go right in. Birds can't upend the bottle because I bury it to the level of the hole. The bait would kill the birds if they ate it," he explained to a slightly goggle-eyed Derrick.

  Dad stepped around us to go into the kitchen to wash his soda bottle.

  Mom smiled self-consciously. "Sedona's father is a farmer, and he is always inventing new contraptions that are friendly to the environment. He hasn't been happy with beer traps for a while, so I'm afraid in his enthusiasm he forgot that we are eating."

  Derrick stared rather suspiciously at his frosted mug of beer.

  Dad popped back out on the porch. "Don't put salt on slugs to kill them either," he continued as though there had been no interruption. "Salt ruins the soil."

  "You want us to start the steaks now or should we wait awhile?" Sean asked.

  Mom shrugged delicately. "We have plenty to snack on, and we haven't even started on the salads. Why not sit and let's all get to know one another." She beamed at Derrick in that mother-in-law way.

  Derrick caught my eye and coughed around a carrot. He either finally got the fact that we were the only single members in attendance or my dad's slug lore was bothering his appetite.

  Dad ignored the change in topics and continued with his own concerns. "The salt does kill slugs, sucks the juice right outta them, but in the process you ruin the soil too. You can't mess with the pH of the soil like that. Before you know it, you won't have anything but deflated slugs and useless soil." Dad took a drink of his iced tea. "Whooee, and you can imagine the smell too. Dead slugs ain't nothing to be proud of all over a garden. The things are nothing but decayed material anyway, and that's before you kill them. Try drowning them in that there beer of yours, and the smell is worse. The beer ferments, and the slugs weren't too good to start with."

  Mom sighed. "Dear, don't you think we should talk about something else?"

  Derrick set his beer down.

  "Can I get you a soda?" I asked politely. "Maybe some iced tea?"

  Brenda popped out of her seat. "I'll get you some. I need a refill, and I've had enough soda."

  "Don't worry," I told Derrick. "There aren't any tomatoes in the salad today so you won't have to hear about hornworms. Unless you ask, that is."

  Dad glared at me. "I wasn't going to talk about hornworms during dinner."

  Right. Not now that I had mentioned it wasn't suitable.

  Mom tried for normalcy one more time. She addressed Derrick with a cheerful little chirp. "Sean tells me that you and Sedona are working on a project together for abused women. I think that is wonderful."

  Derrick smiled weakly. "Well, there was one such project."

  Leave it to Sean to beef up reality. I decided to clarify. "Derrick was hoping to get a particular woman some help and have her turn state's evidence. It didn't work out," I said. "Of course, we're both still hoping that she will get some help with the abuse."

  Derrick didn't look very comfortable, but he quickly agreed. "Her husband has a bad track record. Getting her away from him was our number one priority. Giving up evidence that might have helped us would have been nice too." He shrugged. "We are quite desperate."

  "No luck with watching Larry's Body Shop?" Sean asked.

  Derrick shook his head. "We've been at it like hawks, but there's too much business for us to catch anything specifically. Apparently the owner just got a new maintenance contract with a trucking company. There are more trucks in there than a gas station. Without searching them all, we're going to have a hard time figuring out which ones Ted is using for illicit drug deals. If we get a search warrant at the wrong time, it will kill the case."

  "It sounds dangerous." My mother glanced at Sean, her happy chirp dialed down more than a notch.

  Sean shrugged. "He's a policeman, mom. He helps people just like I do only at a different level. If he could have gotten the lady to step forward, believe me, I would have been happy to act as her attorney."

  Dad might be interested in watching grass grow, but he wasn't slow to add two and two. "So where did you fit into all this?" he asked.

  Sean looked worried suddenly. I considered telling my parents that he had sent me in to protect the big bad cop from a possible rape charge. Of course, I didn't want my parents to visit too often. "I was the example of independent womanhood. You know, the type that doesn't need a man around to do every little chore."

  Mother, knowing she was losing control of the conversation again, stood. "Why don't we start on the salads? Brenda?"

  The three of us trooped off like proper little wives. Brenda dropped one of the salads on the tiled kitchen floor. Not even my gracious mother could keep an impatient sigh from escaping. Dressing ran down Brenda's leg, and the shattered bowl was in millions of pieces. Without a word, I took two of the bowls out and handed them to Sean and Derrick.

  Dad leaned over and asked, "What kind of lettuce is that?"

  "Romaine and something else mixed in."

  He nodded approvingly. "Iceberg lettuce has the least vitamins in the family. Of course it is a vegetable so there isn't a problem with eating it, but a lot of the other greens are better for you. Sean, when are you going to put a garden in?"

  "When the devil wears a parka," I muttered and went back inside to get dad his salad and help mom clean up.

  From the floor, mom whispered, "Do you know that she made cookies?"

  I shook my head. Mom didn't look up from where she was crouched as she wiped up the last of the mess. "The cookies melted all over the pan. They were stuck on there so hard, we had to scrape them off with a knife."

  "Too much sugar?" I surmised.

  "I can only guess. And she forgot to spray the pan."

  "They probably tasted okay."

  My mother glared at me. "That is what she said."

  "It happens."

  "When they have children, my grandchildren are going to starve!"

  "Nonsense. And Sean looks good now that he has lost weight. I bet her kids learn to be excellent cooks." They would have to just to survive.

  Mom rolled her eyes at me.

  The rest of the meal went well. Sean grilled a mean steak, and Derrick was a pleasant addition to the usual banter of family discussion. He and Brenda, old friends, argued over the edibility of the cookies. My mother was horrified that Brenda actually presented them. Always worried about my marital status, it took a superhuman effort for her to swallow back the words that would make it super clear just who had made them.

  I grinned. "Mom, did you want to serve the cake also?"

  She jumped up and fled to the kitchen, glad for the respite.

  Tomorrow was a work day so shortly after a piece of cake, I said my goodbyes. On the way out the door, I hugged my brother rather close and whispered, "You know it isn't wise to give your sister a gun and then start arranging her dates…" I let it trail off. He squeezed back hard enough to hurt.

  "Someone has to help you."

  I grunted
and shoved away. My dad had some shopping to do up in Denver the next day; a new strain of buffalo grass he wanted to look into. With my parents thus occupied until the drive back through, I was off the hook for the week, at least on the personal side of life.

  Of course, my life might be better and safer if I was more like dad and just learned to have fun shopping for grass and tomatoes.

  Chapter 23

  I should have known that after the Monday staff meeting some of my new peers were going to have a couple of problems with my bulldozer approach. For one, as a team, we were supposed to be putting together a schedule that we agreed upon; for two, it was due in a week, and unless half the projects were dropped, there was no way we'd get a real schedule.

  First thing in the morning, Dan sent me the financial impact statements for the new customers. Much as I disliked the little weasel, he was good at his job. He had a very good grasp from past projects of just how much equipment the test team was likely to purchase in order to prove a concept to a customer.

  On the other hand, Ross and Patrick weren't ready to accommodate reality. Patrick was furious that I had tried to pass him the buck on some of the extra work. He didn't see why he had to be dragged into an argument that in his opinion should have remained my problem. I got wind of the trouble when Sally stopped by to warn me that Patrick was in Allen's office bitching.

  "I guess Allen is happy I am failing on my first task," I said.

  Sally shrugged. "He figures that Gary will ask him to step in and save things or at least help you out. The way he tells it, if he has to help you, he deserves to be promoted back above you."

  The logic was breathtaking. If Allen helped me, he would only be doing his old job, not a higher-up one. "Maybe someone should remind Allen that these projects used to be his. If he hadn't taken on so much in the first place, it wouldn't be so difficult." And if he hadn't cashed charity checks he'd still have the job, but I didn't know just how much Sally knew so I wasn't about to bring that up.

  "You won't stop trying, will you?" Sally seemed genuinely concerned, but she was also good at extracting information. I had to be very careful.