Second Base

by Raven ShadowHawk

‘I know not all marriages last and that some relationships fold, but there’s no reason why that can’t be dealt with in a sensible, grown up manner. Sneaking around, lying, cheating—that’s wrong. There’s no excuse.’

  Confusion and distress slowly hardened into anger. ‘No, there isn’t.’

  A long pause followed. ‘Is something happening between you and Karen?’

  ‘Excuse me?’

  ‘Sometimes you take a roundabout route like this to tell me about your problems. You used to do it when you were younger, all these hypothetical questions about this, that and the other when what you really wanted was advice. Are you asking for advice, my boy?’

  ‘You mean, am I cheating on Karen?’ He gnawed his lip until a hot burst of metallic fluid told him he was bleeding.

  More silence.

  ‘No, Dad. I’m not cheating on her. I never would. I don’t have to. Our relationship doesn’t work that way.’

  ‘I’ve upset you. I’m sorry, but I don’t know what to say. Unless you can be more open about what you’re really trying to ask.’ A hushed whisper cut across his voice. ‘Sorry, I must pay this fine gentleman and get out of his car, but I need both hands. My hips aren’t what they used to be.’

  Dan sighed. ‘It’s okay. You’ve told me what I need to know.’

  ‘Good. I hope so. I need to go.’

  ‘Fine. Bye Dad.’ He hung up without waiting for an answer.

  At his side, Karen looked away from her laptop screen. She gazed at him for long, steady seconds. ‘He’s not cheating on Maxine.’

  ‘I don’t know what to believe.’

  ‘You think he’d lie to you?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ He sighed and shuffled across the sofa, curling his arm around her shoulder. He buried his nose in the space beneath her ear. ‘I do know that I don’t want to talk about it any more. I just want to sit with you and browse slaves for the Library.’

  ‘I messaged Mandy to apologise.’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘The sub, Dan.’ She gave him a playful shove. ‘The one we went there to meet in the first place.’

  It all seemed so long ago. A distant dream where life was normal and the kink scene, safe. ‘Great. What did she say?’

  ‘She didn’t go. She chickened out as she got to the car park. Just turned around and drove away.’

  ‘Wuss.’

  ‘You do come on a bit strong sometimes, Spanx.’

  The use of his online handle brought a smile to his lips. ‘Do I?’

  ‘Yes. All those pictures on your profile and the list of subs under your name.’

  ‘Only three.’

  ‘That’s more than most people. Anyway, she wants to try again another time. She says she’ll arrive early—wherever it is—and have a few drinks first.’

  He nodded. ‘Fine.’ A glance at the laptop made him frown. ‘That’s not her, though. Who’s Black Angelus?’

  Karen cleared her throat. ‘Someone I was talking to today.’

  ‘Nice.’

  The rest of the details attracted him just as much. Single. Submissive. Actively seeking playmates. Local.

  Some of his anger and confusion began to ease away. ‘Show me some of the pictures.’

  Karen tapped and swiped at the trackpad. Seconds later a picture appeared. A naked back, broad across the shoulders which were the same dark colour as Karen’s own skin. Dan couldn’t help but lick his lips.

  Very, very nice.

  The next shot showed two feet in a spreader bar. Another, a close up of a deep purple nipple, pinched tight by a silver nipple clamp.

  He grinned. ‘Very nice. Let’s see her face.’

  Karen took a deep breath. ‘It’s not a woman.’ She didn’t look at him but continued sweeping through the photos.

  The on screen nipple vanished, replaced by an image of a tall, stubbly man with dreadlocks. His eyes were closed, but his expression spoke volumes, as did his erect penis, jutting over the top of half lowered boxers. His arms were chained above his head, stretched far enough to make the muscles across his neck and shoulders bunch and cord. Sweat gleamed on his bare chest. A huge, red ball gag stretched his mouth.

  His mouth.

  Dan sat back. ‘Oh.’

  Chapter Eleven

  Karen

  Karen felt Dan stiffen beside her. His hand stopped massaging her shoulder.

  I knew this was a bad idea.

  He stared at the screen. A muscle pulsed in the side of his jaw.

  Her chest tightened. Say something. Please.

  ‘Black Angelus.’ He made no attempt to hide the disapproving curl of his upper lip. ‘What sort of name is that?’

  Biting her tongue, she flicked to a more recent picture of Sith’s back.

  A grunt. ‘Tattoos? Of course. How original.’

  ‘You’re upset,’ she murmured. Her hands trembled on the lid of the laptop.

  ‘No, I’m just surprised.’ His voice didn’t match the forced air of nonchalance. His hand bunched into a fist on her shoulder.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she blurted. ‘I shouldn’t have brought him up— but we were talking about subs—he seems really nice.’

  ‘You’ve spoken? When?’

  ‘He was at the munch. I was talking to him when your dad showed up.’ The moment the words left her mouth Karen knew it was the wrong thing to say.

  Dan wrenched away from her, and paced the room. He retrieved his bottle from the fireplace and swigged. After a moment he pressed the rim to his lips and tipped it back, drinking, drinking and drinking some more until the contents were utterly spent. He burped.

  ‘Dan—’

  ‘What’s he like?’ he snapped. ‘What does he do?’

  ‘He’s a barrister—in training.’

  ‘Nice. Good for him. Bet he’s loaded too.’

  Karen snapped her lips shut over a cutting retort. After a quick breath she simply said, ‘What does that have to do with anything?’

  ‘Nothing. Just making small talk about our potential slave.’ He spat the word as though it tasted bad.

  ‘He’s not a potential anything. We were just talking.’

  ‘About BDSM?’

  She rolled her eyes. ‘It was a munch, Dan.’

  ‘Did you happen to mention you’re taken?’

  ‘It’s the first thing I said. I showed him my slave band.’

  ‘And what did he think of that?’

  ‘He liked the idea of the commitment. He said it was deep.’

  ‘‘Deep.’ Wow, cheers.’ Dan raised the bottle again, giving a little snarl when he found it empty. ‘Want another?’

  ‘No, and neither should you. We’re talking. Please don’t run off while we’re talking. You’re upset and I need to know why.’

  ‘I’m Master around here. Don’t tell me what to do.’

  Karen flinched. Something in her chest clenched tight, squeezing until she could barely breathe. Then anger barrelled in and flattened everything. She put the laptop on the sofa. Leapt up. ‘Fuck you and your Master talk, that’s not what we are right now.’

  He glared at her. ‘Of course it is. We’re only a step away from 24/7.’

  ‘No, we’re not. Unless we’re in scene, I’m ‘Karen’, you’re ‘Dan’ and we talk to each other like adults. Get a fucking grip.’

  He spun on his heel and stalked toward her. In that moment, his eyes blazed and the curls of his dark hair fell down over his forehead. Karen felt the energy building that told her she was about to enter a scene.

  ‘Why don’t I get a grip on you, Kaz? Why don’t I show you who’s in charge?’ His voice dropped low and deep, rumbling at the back of his throat like a feral growl. He tossed his head to clear his eyes and breathed deep to swell his chest.

  Her body responded instantly, nipples hardening beneath the fabric of her vest. She took a long step out of range. ‘Don’t do that. Don’t hide behind ‘Master’ because you don’t want to talk. You’re pissed off and I don’t submit to anybody w
hen they’re angry.’

  He reached for her. Whether to grip her arm, cup her cheek or touch her throat, she never knew. Karen leapt on to the sofa, almost trampling her laptop to stay out of reach. She wasn’t afraid, but she knew that any conversation she wanted to have would never happen if he managed to touch her.

  ‘Stop it! What’s wrong with you? Why won’t you talk to me?’

  Maybe the sight of her wobbling on the sofa cushions broke through his anger. Maybe it was the venom in her voice. Whatever it was, Dan stopped moving. His shoulders dropped and some of the tension oozed out of his body. ‘I . . .’

  ‘What, Dan? This is so . . . not you. You’re not angry or violent . . . what is this about?’ Her voice quivered, but she didn’t care. The latent panic from even mentioning Sith left her weak in the knees. She licked her lips, trying to wet them but her tongue refused to cooperate.

  Karen didn’t get off the sofa, but sank into the cushions, pulling her knees up to her chest. When Dan tried to step closer, she leaned back and shot out one hand to keep him at bay.

  Part of her wanted to scream and shout. The rest wanted to hide. Ignoring both, she opted to stay put. This conversation had to happen. Now.

  ‘Stay right where you are. Talk. What the hell is wrong with you? Is this because of your dad?’

  ‘Yes.’ He ran a hand through his hair, holding the strands up off his forehead. ‘No. I don’t know.’

  ‘Dan!’

  ‘Fine, I’m pissed off. I have no idea what to do about Dad or how I feel. I’m just relieved he didn’t see me at the pub and doubly relieved he didn’t tell me straight out on the phone.’

  ‘And Sith?’

  ‘Who?’

  She tapped the laptop.

  ‘What the hell sort of name is Sith?’

  ‘It’s short for Sithembile.’

  ‘Wow. So his parents couldn’t do what yours did and give him a simple English name?’

  Her mouth dropped open. ‘That better be a joke. Robert is Jamaican. Mama is from Cornwall, you arsehole.’

  ‘I know, I know, bad taste. Sorry. I’m teasing.’

  ‘Fucking don’t! We’re talking.’ Karen gazed at him. She tried to read his face, but his expressions were all over the place, flitting from anxious to angry, to distressed, to sad, to amused over and over. ‘What is this about? One picture of a cute guy shouldn’t send you into meltdown.’

  ‘You think he’s cute?’

  ‘Dan!’

  ‘Sorry.’

  She toyed with the links of her slave band. ‘I didn’t ask for him to be your sub. You assumed. I wouldn’t have mentioned him at all if you hadn’t seen him on screen.’ Karen looked at her fingers, stunned that such a small, yet truthful admission could make her feel so uncomfortable. ‘In fact, I barely said anything before you went Jykell-Hyde on me. So what gives?’

  He toyed with the edge of his sleeve. ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Then figure it out, because you’re making me crazy.’

  He glared. ‘Fine. Why are you so desperate to bring a man into our relationship?’

  ‘I’m not.’ Determined to be the sensible one, Karen immediately told the truth. ‘I’ve always wanted to see men in the Library but you told me back at Sugar Dust that it wasn’t going to happen. I made peace with that. Hannah, Rebecca, Louise, Dani, any other girl you decide to bring along is fine by me so long as we stick to the rules we set at the start. No lies. No sneaking around. Full disclosure. The right to veto. I’m secure and happy with that.’

  ‘Then why are you looking up Black Angelus?’ That bite in his voice again. Tense shoulders. Narrowed eyes.

  Another deep breath. ‘Maybe I want to talk to him? Maybe I want to have friends in the kink scene?’

  ‘What about Denise and Henrietta?’

  She narrowed her eyes. ‘What about them?’

  ‘Be friends with them. At least they’re not—’ He glared at the floor.

  Karen unfurled her legs. Stood. ‘‘They’re not’ what? A threat? Any sort of competition because they’re gay and so obviously into each other that no one else pings on their radar?’

  The moment she said it, she knew she’d struck truth.

  Dan pressed his lips into a thin, grim line and jerked away. He stared at the blank eye of the TV and said nothing.

  ‘Dan, look at me. I’m not saying another word until you look at me.’

  Slowly, as if every inch was pain, he swivelled to face her.

  She held up her left hand, showing off the slave band. ‘Honesty. Trust. Friendship. That’s everything special about you and me, right here on my wrist. You waited until Beth nearly tore us apart to give this to me, but it means as much to me now as it did then.’

  ‘I thought you were going to leave me.’

  ‘I was. Until you gave me this and told me in your own way that you love me. And I love you, Dan. I don’t want anybody else, not the way I want you. You don’t need to worry about Sith or anybody else stealing me away from you.’

  He gave a tiny smile.

  ‘He’s more interested in you anyway.’

  The smile died. ‘Come again?’

  ‘He thinks you’re hot. I agree, so straight away we had a lot in common.’ The joke fell flat on the air, like a frying pan to the face.

  ‘He’s gay too?’

  ‘Pansexual.’

  He raised his hands toward the ceiling in a ‘why me’ sort of gesture. ‘Whatever the hell that means.’

  ‘Dan, please, can’t you just relax?’

  ‘What about him? Does he know you ‘just want more friends’?’

  The pity she felt for his insecurities faded rapidly. ‘Sith is cute. He’s also new, shy and sweet. And submissive, Dan.’ She clenched her fists, as if to steel herself, and rushed on. ‘I know you trust me, but I don’t want to dominate you. That’s not our dynamic. It would feel wrong. Especially after all the horrible things Beth did to you while you were together. I need a lot more experience before I’d feel safe going anywhere near you with a whip or a paddle. I don’t want to hurt you the way she did. But I do want to try. Is that so bad? I have these urges and they’re growing. I need to explore them. Release my inner Bitch Queen.’

  ‘What about the other women in the Library, can’t they—’

  Karen shook her head. ‘No, they can’t. I know you’d prefer that, and I’m sorry, but part of this is about the power exchange and I do that with the other women in the Library anyway. There’s a hierarchy and I’m already at the top. This is bigger than that and for it to be what I need, it has to be with a man.’

  Voicing it made plain what she hadn’t been able to articulate clearly until that moment. At last Karen understood the growing need burning inside her, sending her to myriad porn sites specialising in Femdom videos.

  Silence filled the room.

  Karen heard the clock ticking and the rumble of the central heating as it flicked off. She sniffed and caught a whiff of stale beer and crisps from the night before.

  ‘Dan? Say something.’

  ‘I don’t know what to say. You’ve not said this before.’

  A little flicker of irritation flared in her belly. ‘I have. Not those exact words, but I have. You haven’t been listening.’ When she saw the hurt in his eyes she pressed on. ‘If I never get to play Domme, I’ll still be the happiest I’ve ever been. I’ll still live with you and love you and play with the rest of your Library, blessing every day we have together. That won’t change. But this is something separate. It’s like . . . icing.’

  ‘Icing?’

  ‘On a cake.’

  ‘I know what you mean,’ he snapped. ‘I just don’t like the fact that you compare our relationship to food. Is that all this is to you? Something you can consume and then shit out when you’re done?’

  She gaped at him. If he sprouted feathers in that moment he couldn’t have shocked her more. ‘How can you say that? You must know that’s not what I meant.’

  ‘If y
ou want more from me just say it. Hell, I’ve already bought this damn house with you, but if you want more, let me know. Marriage next? Is that it? Are you setting the stage for the next phase in your relationship coup?’

  The anger of not long ago flared with in her. She leapt to her feet and snapped the laptop shut, tucking it under her arm. When she next looked at Dan she barely recognised the man standing there. ‘You agreed to this. If you don’t want to be living here, be a fucking grown up and say it rather than dancing around the bush and blaming me.’

  Footsteps pounded the floor to match hers as she marched towards the stairs. Before she could mount them a hand grabbed her wrist.

  ‘Don’t run off, Kaz.’

  ‘Fuck you!’ She jerked away, twisting as she did so. The slave band twirled around her palm, then snapped. Three broken chains dangled from the rings still circling her fingers.

  Dan glared at her.

  Karen stared at the bracelet.

  Something in her stomach fluttered, then clenched. Horror iced her insides. Then, before it could take hold, fury rolled in again and melted it away.

  Laying the laptop down, she snatched off each ring in turn and tossed them at Dan’s feet. The bracelet, she unfastened and dropped to join them. ‘You’d better take those,’ she snarled. ‘In case I try to turn them into matching wedding rings.’ With the venom of her tone still poisoning the air, she grabbed her laptop, darted up the stairs into the bedroom and slammed the door.

  Karen paced the bedroom until its contents became a dizzy blur. Her toes scraped the rug she and Dan had picked together, the pattern of interlocked blue lines around the edge so reminiscent of chains. A pair of Dan’s socks lay on the floor, balled up beside the wash basket. Her own dirty underwear draped the edge.

  When she threw herself on to the duvet, she caught a whiff of Dan’s aftershave, hot and sexy against the cotton. Shrieking, she shoved the duvet on to the floor, wincing when her laptop hit the floor with a dull thud.

  Damn it! I’m fucked if that’s broken.

  She pulled it free and turned it on. The laptop booted with a soft beep to demonstrate its anger, returning to the last page she visited.

  Kink4Life.

  A small red square with a ‘one’ inside appeared in her notifications window.