Because I Love You

by Tori Rigby

  Neil and Mr. Anderson were already chatting in the small living room by the time Jill and I joined them. It sounded like they’d gotten to know each other pretty well over the last few weeks. Jill had said Neil texted her dad last night. How often had they talked? And why did their conversation look so intense?

  Spying me, Jill’s dad rose from his chair. “Hey, kiddo,” he said, opening his arms.

  I walked into his hug. “Thank you for everything.”

  He chuckled and dropped his arms. “You’re very welcome. Besides, it’s really that guy over there who’s been looking after you.” He nodded toward Neil, who half-smiled. “I merely gave Jill a few dollars to buy you a few things.” He held up a hand. “Don’t say you’ll pay me back. Neil already tried.”

  I shook my head, my gaze blurring. “But you signed guardianship papers to keep me from having to move. I have to repay you somehow.”

  Mr. Anderson put his hands on my shoulders. His dark eyes were happy. “Just stay out of trouble, and we’ll call it even.”

  I smiled as I sat next to Neil, and he laced his fingers through mine.

  For an hour, we listened to Jill tell stories about her extended family visiting over Christmas, and when her mom came home around 5:00, we exchanged gifts and ate dinner. After a few rounds of Super Mario Bros with Jill and Neil, I wandered to the kitchen while they faced off in one final, winner-takes-all round. Their voices carried through the condo as they bickered like ten-year-old siblings. I couldn’t help but smile as I popped a potato chip in my mouth.

  “So, how are you really doing?” Mr. Anderson asked from where he sat at the dining table, his laptop open in front of him.

  “I’m okay, I guess,” I replied. Okay was too calm of a word, but it was the best I could come up with, considering.

  Jill’s dad nodded. “Well, you’ve gotten through the hardest part. Each day, it’ll be a little easier to wake up in the morning.”

  A loud scream echoed from the living room.

  Neil laughed. “Get ready to pay up, Pocahontas.”

  “You cheated!” Jill shouted. “Verbal contract violated. I am not doing your math homework.”

  I chuckled in response, and almost as if Ethan sensed my happiness, a stick rammed into my ribs. Jumping slightly, I pressed a hand against my stomach and smiled when he kicked again.

  “When’s the last time you saw your OB?” Mr. Anderson asked.

  “Not since before Mom . . .” Died, I finished in my head, frowning. The pain of having to do this without her burrowed into my chest again. I leaned against the counter to keep from wobbling.

  “I’m sure Jill would be happy to take you. And if you need help paying the bill—”

  I shook my head. “No, that’s absolutely not necessary. Neil and I have a plan. We’ll be okay.”

  He pressed his lips together then sighed. “All right, kiddo. But you know you can come to me about anything, right? If this gets to be too much—and, trust me, kids are a full-time responsibility—you just tell me what you need. Jill says you plan to keep him, so be sure you’re okay with everything both you and Neil are sacrificing.”

  I swallowed a lump in my throat. Hadn’t those same thoughts already crossed my mind? Mr. Anderson was only looking out for me, but Neil assured me he wasn’t forfeiting anything. And I’d given up the whole doctor dream months ago. I had to trust we’d be okay; I didn’t know how not to.

  “Thanks,” I replied. “I’ll let you know if anything comes up.”

  “Yo, household,” Jill yelled. “The Rockin’ New Year’s Eve crap’s about to start!”

  Mr. Anderson shut his laptop. “I guess that means we’re supposed to carry the snack bowls into the living room.”

  Forcing a smile, I snatched the chips and dip and followed him down the short hall.

  A week or so later, Neil shook me awake the morning of his last day of winter break. I tucked the comforter over my head and didn’t come out until he tugged the covers from my face. He chuckled and pulled them away again. I grabbed his pillow and smooshed it over my face.

  “Get up,” he said with a laugh, snatching the pillow out of my hands and tossing it across the room. “I’m tired of seeing your sad face, so I planned something fun for the day. Now, get out of bed, or I’m going to tickle you.”

  I glared at him, and he winked. Rolling my eyes, I sat up and brushed loose pieces of my hair down so I didn’t look like Medusa on meth.

  “That’s better. Now, I’m leaving, but Jill’s going to pick you up in an hour. So, do whatever you need to get ready. And dress warm. It’s freaking cold out there.” He kissed my forehead. “See you in a little bit.”

  My eyebrows furrowed as I watched him leave the room. What the heck did he have planned? Sighing, I hurried through a shower and then threw on black leggings and a long-sleeved, blue sweater that hung past my butt. Any fatter, and my outfit wouldn’t have fit. I had to go shopping for bigger clothes soon. After curling my hair and applying makeup to cover my raccoon eyes, I sat on the couch with five minutes to spare.

  Exactly one hour after I climbed out of bed, the doorbell rang.

  Jill looked me up and down. “Please tell me you’re dressing warmer than that.”

  “I don’t even know what we’re doing.”

  “Do you have something warmer than leggings?”

  “Not that fit me. I’m hot all the time, anyway. And I have a coat and boots. I won’t freeze for . . . whatever crazy event Neil planned.”

  “Hey, I tried to talk him into a Star Trek marathon, but he said no.”

  I smiled. The two of them planning an outing together had to have been hilarious. Slipping on my snow boots, I wrapped myself in my winter coat—now barely big enough to button over my belly—and grabbed my purse off the end table. After locking the door behind me, I jumped into Jill’s car.

  She pulled out her cell phone. “Okay. Just in advance, you owe me a big thank you for agreeing to this idea.”

  “What are we even doing?”

  “A scavenger hunt. In the snow. Your boyfriend’s crazy, let me tell ya.” She punched in an address on her GPS and drove down the mountain toward Denver.

  My heart hammered. A scavenger hunt? That was so unlike Neil. How long had he been putting this together? And how had I not noticed?

  When Jill pulled into the zoo’s parking lot, I laughed.

  “What?” she asked.

  “I can’t believe he’s doing this. Neil took me here months ago when I wanted to skip school. Sort of a first date, I guess.”

  Jill turned doe-eyed. “Aw, he didn’t tell me that. He just said where to go and where to find our first clue. Okay, I take it back. This is going to be so much fun.”

  Shaking my head at her sudden one-eighty. I opened the Honda’s door and followed Jill to the gate. She paid for our tickets, and we walked until we reached the Information Booth.

  “Okay. He says”—she scrolled through her text messages—“and I quote, ‘Tell her the polka bear will get her started.’ What does that mean?”

  I grinned and headed toward the polar bear exhibit. “He tried telling me this joke about a white bear in lederhosen. I totally called him out on it. His face was priceless.”

  Jill laughed. “Awesome. The Hamiltonizer put the Mighty Donaghue in his place.”

  “‘Hamiltonizer?’”

  She shrugged. “What? It’s your superhero name.”

  “Well, then I must be a pretty lame superhero to go by that.”

  Jill blushed as we entered the polar bear viewing area. A few children stood around, watching with their parents. Separating, Jill and I wandered, trying to find whatever clue Neil had left behind.

  “Over here,” Jill said, pulling a notecard from underneath a rock.

  How did she see that?

  She handed the card to me, and I flipped it over.

  Hey, Princess.

  My goal today is to make you smile. There’s a gift waiting for you in the Kibongi Market.
Give the clerk your name. It’ll tell you where to go next.

  Because I love you, Neil

  I bit my lip and smirked. Jill snatched the card from my fingers.

  “Okay, new rule,” she said. “The woman of my dreams better send me on a scavenger hunt.”

  I giggled and took the card back, sticking it in my purse. Jill and I raced from the polar bear exhibit and grabbed a map.

  “It’s the one near the entrance. Not far. Let’s go,” Jill said, leading me to our destination.

  Upon giving the clerk my name, he handed me a picture frame. A simple, metal one with a bit of a bluish tint and painted white snowflakes in a random pattern. It was beautiful. Jill and I opened the back of the frame when we stepped outside the store. Another note card had been stuck behind the stock photo.

  Ice cream’s on my dime. Take Jill to Sprinkles and ask for Joe. He knows what to do.

  Because I love you, Neil

  Sprinkles was the parlor Mom and I had visited all the time. Showing Jill the note, I seized her hand and led her out the gate and to her car. I gave her directions to the ice cream shop, then I asked the girl at the register for Joe when we got there. He smiled when I told him Neil sent me and grabbed a notecard from beneath the register.

  “Your boyfriend paid for both you and your friend. So, what’ll it be, ladies?” Joe asked.

  Once Jill and I chose our desserts, we picked a table, and I read my next clue.

  Hope you finish every bite because you’re not going to eat again for a while! Tell Jill to move on to Phase Two.

  Because I love you, Neil

  “Neil says to move on to phase two,” I said.

  Jill grinned, clutching her head. She pointed to her skull with her other hand. “Brain freeze.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Jill, what’s phase two?”

  She dropped her hand. “Well, I can’t tell you that, now can I? You’ll just have to wait and see. Seriously, though, brain freezes suck.”

  I shook my head, the corner of my mouth twitching, and finished my snack.

  Jill drove across the city to an apartment complex a few blocks from the university. “Okay, his text said to go into the main office and say, ‘Neil Donaghue sent me.’ Well, if that doesn’t sound ominous,” she said.

  My heart fluttered. No way. I leapt from the car and raced inside. I said exactly what Jill told me to, and the landlord smiled.

  “Neil said you’d be in. Got your keys all ready. Hang on a sec.” She left me standing in the waiting area. A minute later, she returned with an envelope marked 431—Donaghue and handed it to me. “Here we are,” she said. Clinking metal rang out from inside. “Four-hundreds are in the building behind this one. You’re up on the third floor, first place on the left. Welcome to The Meadows.”

  “Oh. Thanks.” I shook her hand and ran back to the car. I sat in the passenger’s seat with a giggle.

  “What?” Jill asked.

  “Drive around to the building behind this one.”

  When she did, I used one of the keys to get in, and Jill followed me up two flights of stairs to the first apartment on the left. When we stepped inside, my jaw dropped. The apartment was small but cozy, with tan walls and fresh flooring. The entryway opened into a room that split in half—kitchen/dining on the left, living area on the right. A laundry room was to my right, and a short hallway to my left ended with a white door.

  “Oh, wow,” I said, walking through the living room. Everything was already furnished. Neil, you brat. He’d been planning this for a while. His portion of his dad’s lawsuit money became available on his eighteenth birthday, but I had no idea he’d made these kinds of plans already. Then I looked a little closer at the furniture. It was my parents’. Oh, Neil . . . I held my chest. This was too much.

  “Did you know about the furniture?” I asked Jill, pointing to the couch.

  She nodded. “My dad helped him save a few of the pieces before everything went to auction.”

  I pressed my fist harder into my breastbone, swallowing tears. My parents had picked the couch together. It was silly to be so attached to an object, but how could I not be when it brought back so many memories? I could never repay Neil or Mr. Anderson for saving it.

  Running my hand along the top of the familiar sofa, I entered a small hall at the back of the apartment. The bathroom was directly ahead and a decent size, with—what appeared to be—a brand new shower. At both ends of the hall were doors. One had a notecard stuck to it. I grabbed the card and flipped it over.

  Good news: Owen’s dad gave me a position at his company. A full-time one with benefits. Between it, my dad’s lawsuit money, and your part-time job, paying the bills should be a piece of cake. Told you I could take care of you.

  Welcome home, Andie.

  Because I love you, Neil

  P.S. Your next clue is in a box on the bed.

  I clutched the notecard and grinned so hard my face hurt.

  “Dude, just sayin’, this place is cool,” Jill announced from the living room.

  Still smiling, I pushed open the door. Neil’s bed from his mom’s house was against the far wall, and on it was a yellow, oversized shoe box. I stuck the notecard in my purse and opened the container. A pair of white ice skates were inside. I covered my lips and giggled. I’d taken ice-skating lessons when I was younger, but then gymnastics and dance became more important, and I dropped out. Knowing that he remembered left me breathless.

  Another notecard was stuck inside the box. I pulled the card out and flipped it over. An address lined the back with one sentence: Bring these with you. Running from the room, I grabbed Jill’s hand and pulled her into the hall, handing her the card and locking the door to Neil’s—our—apartment behind me.

  chapter twenty-seven

  I almost squealed when I saw where we ended up. Crystal Lake—one of the places on my bucket list. It was a small ski resort whose focal point was a beautiful, twenty-acre body of water kept frozen all season long. Its bank was lined by pine trees and a two-story warming lodge where visitors could grab a cup of hot chocolate or eat dinner, and the ski slopes behind the lodge were as tall as small mountains. The scene was more beautiful than a Thomas Kinkade painting. Especially when the lake was frozen and people skated to music blaring from speakers on the patio.

  When we entered the warming lodge, I spun in a slow circle, searching for Neil, while Jill found the desk to rent a pair of skates. He was nowhere in sight. Pouting, I joined Jill in line. After she purchased her shoes, we walked to the edge of the lake.

  “Fair warning,” she said, “I’ve never done this before.”

  “Then hold my hand. I took lessons for years.”

  “So she can pull you to the ground? You’re insane if you think I’m going to let you go out there in your condition with a newbie,” Neil said from behind me.

  I spun around, beaming.

  “I see my plan worked. You’re smiling,” he said.

  I ran into his embrace and flung my arms around him. He chuckled.

  “I can’t believe you did all this.”

  “Hey, now. I’m the lord of mischief. Mastermind plots are my specialty.” He winked when I looked up at him. “Though, the last few years, I helped the elementary school put together Easter egg hunts for the first graders, and they never turned out well. Lots of crying kids and missing plastic eggs.”

  I shook my head and kissed him. “Thank you.”

  “Blech,” Jill said. “Are we going to skate, or are you two just going to stand there and make out?”

  Neil smiled against my mouth, and I stepped away. Owen came from behind me with the two other guys who’d played basketball the night Jill dropped me off at his house. They both said, “Hey, Andie,” as they passed, the blades of their skates sinking into the snow. Owen grabbed Jill’s hand and pulled her onto the lake. Her squeal made me laugh.

  “Reed’s the one with the red hat. Logan’s the other. They’re Owen’s cousins,” Neil said.

&
nbsp; I nodded. Good to know. “Can you help me get my skates on? I think I might actually be too fat.”

  He chuckled, but instead of helping me to the ground, he pulled me away from the lake, taking my skates in his other hand. “Actually, I was wondering if we could talk.”

  I squinted at him. He didn’t look upset or sad or angry, but his cheeks were slightly pallid, and he couldn’t make eye contact. “O . . . kay?”

  He sat me on a bench overlooking the lake. I might’ve been mesmerized by its beauty again if it weren’t for the nauseated expression on Neil’s face. He set my skates on the ground then twisted as he sat so he half-faced me and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

  “Remember when you asked me why Owen stopped by the night before my birthday?” When I nodded, he continued, “Well, truth was, I’d originally planned to do this when I brought you to the cabin on my birthday. But then everything . . . happened, and there was never a right moment, and then Owen accidentally told Jill about my plan, and then she said—”

  “Neil, get to the point.” My heart was pounding leopard-speed.

  He let out a long breath and pulled a small box from his pocket. I froze as he popped the lid open and inside was the engagement band I’d seen every day for fifteen years—on my mother’s finger.

  “Oh my God,” I said, unable to stop my hands from shaking.

  “I talked to your mom the weekend before she died. You were at Jill’s, but the lights were still on in your house after I got off of work. So, I knocked on the door, and she let me in. I told her everything—how I went out of my way every day since grade school to catch a glimpse of you in the halls, how I screwed everything up between us your freshman year, and how, since that moment, I wondered if I’d ever get a chance to make it up to you. And then, three months ago, you climbed into my truck, and I knew I’d do anything to make sure that you were always safe and loved.”

  A tear rolled down my cheek, leaving a frosty trail behind. I pressed the fingertips of my right hand against my lips as Neil placed the ring box in my other palm. Another tear betrayed me, and he wiped it away with his thumb.

  He continued, “And when I flat out asked her if she’d consent to me taking care of you forever, she gave me this. So . . . ” Neil slid off the bench to kneel in the snow.