by M J Porter
She had been walking, unsure of her direction aware only of three things; the brilliant views which greeted her wherever she looked, a beauty that had bought tears to her eyes; her love for Erann, which she had continually berated herself for and the enduring and silent companionship of Arrow who stayed with her, and attempted to keep her safe, albeit it reluctantly. Other than that there had been nothing more than a slow and continuous trudge through slushy snow and rapidly forming mud as she had neared the river. The noise of the river had increased gradually, and not because she had been walking towards it, rather because it had been filling from the run off from the snowfields.
As she’d refused to rest or eat, so desperate to get away from Erann, she had, she now realised, quickly become dehydrated and weak from hunger. She must have wondered aimlessly and eventually become unaware of her surroundings. She’d tripped then, and fallen down a deep crevasse. She’d landed bruised and torn and unable to move on a ledge at least two lengths down from the safety of the glacier. Arrow had scampered down after her, crying and alarmed. Sereh had tried to tell her that it was all right and calm her. Arrow had not wanted to listen to her. She’d run off to find help and that help had come in the form of first Arrow, and then Erann. She felt sure that Arrow had not initially come back alone but wondered who could have come with Arrow, and why they would not have been able to help when Erann had been able to?
For all her anger, she was pathetically grateful that Erann had come to her rescue. He’d been all business like in seeing to her needs and getting her to safety. However, she was aware that he had found time to comfort her and had held her close, as she had slept. She did not want to ask now as she wanted to forget how she had clung to him and how safe and warm she had felt. It wasn’t relevant to here and now, to the issues of trust and truth, to the mind-numbing tiredness that was almost crippling her. Only her anger at him was keeping her going. Anger and hope. She hoped he would win his trust and then she could allow herself to love him, mind, body and soul. She was trying to keep a lid on her hope. She feared it was misplaced and needed to know in her mind that she would be able to walk away from him when her hope proved to be ill-founded. She had silently made that decision in her mind. She knew she had the will to follow through. That was why she had made the decision already. She would not vacillate.
Her anger got the better of her and she shouted to Erann,
“Surely it can’t be much further, Erann, I’m exhausted. I need to rest.”
She sounded petulant to her own ears and she expected Erann to turn an angry face to her. Instead he looked at her with contrition on his face – that just made her even angrier at herself.
“Sorry Sereh. I promise it’s just over the next small ridge”.
It was then that Sereh realised they’d been steadily climbing for some time. No wonder her legs were aching and sweat was pooling down her neck. She bent her resolve to just making it up the ridge and was pleased to note that Erann had stopped ahead. She stomped to his side and looked at him questioningly. Erann was smiling triumphantly. She could see nothing to smile about. There was nothing there. The views were outstanding, admittedly, but there was nothing else.
She expected Erann to say something. By the time she had caught her breath he had still not spoken and she could feel herself becoming impatient. He was standing, looking at her expectantly. It reminder her of the time they had passed near hear, when again, he had stopped, waiting for her to notice something only he could see.
So this was it. This was what it had all come down to. This was Erann’s answer to everything they had been through together. A big nothing.
Arrow came and stood by her, sniffing her hand and then making herself comfortable on the floor. She did not seem concerned. Neither did she seem worried. She did not realise that any moment now they could be walking away, forever this time. Erann did not seem aware either, as he stood there, admiring the view behind her head. She bit her lip in concentration. She had no choice, she had made her decision, and she needed to leave, now.
As she made to move way she felt herself grabbed, gently but firmly. She wasn’t sure what had happened as she felt herself lose her balance only to regain it whilst being turned around. She could feel strong, gentle arms around her arms and then her back and realised that Erann must be holding her. She briefly wondered what he would do next, as his lips brushed hers in a gentle, tender kiss.
Her instincts took over and she felt herself wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him with the force of her anger, betrayal and love. The kiss was amazing – all she had hoped that kissing him would be like. His mouth was soft and ever so slightly insistent. She could not doubt all the love and passion that went into that kiss. He did love her, and she was aware with a deep certainly, that she reciprocated the exact same feelings.
She never wanted the kiss to end, and only became aware of its duration when she struggled to catch her breath. She staggered back from him slightly – not too far, she did not want to put distance between them again. He obviously felt the same because he pulled her close, so that her head rested on his shoulder. He held her there, with his hand caressing her cheek, as he slowly regained his breath. Her eyes were closed, luxuriating in the smell of him, the touch of him and the closeness to him that she felt in that moment. She decided it no longer mattered. She could not leave him. She loved him. She needed him and he needed her. Anything else was of secondary importance. With her decision made she opened her eyes so that she could look at Erann and declare her feeling for him.
Her head had been resting on his shoulder and as she slowly opened her eyes she was looking away from him, her head at an angle. She became aware of a diffuse purple light all around her and blinked to clear her mind. It must be an after-effect of prolonged oxygen deprivation from the kiss. She re-opened her eyes but the light was still there. She and Erann were standing in it, in a pool of purple light that stretched on and on all around them, and from which tiny blue and pink sparks were emanating. She wondered what it was, and then realised that this was what Erann had wanted her to see. She smiled to herself in relief. Erann was to be trusted and he was to be loved and then she gasped, involuntarily. Her eyes had delighted on the most amazing creature she had ever seen. At last everything made sense and she was safe, and loved, in Erann’s arms.
Playlist
I have not created my world alone, and some fantastic music has allowed it to grow and develop. I am indebted to the fantastic Faithless for their beautifully haunting music, and down-right floor stompers. Nuff respect!!
Faithless – Outrospective
Code
Evergreen
Liontamer
One Step Too Far
No Roots
Bluegrass
No Roots
Everything Will be Alright Tomorrow
What About Love
To All New Arrivals
Music Matters
Last This Day
To All New Arrivals
A Kind of Peace
The Dance
North Star
Sun to Me
Feeling Good
Not Going Home
Don’t Leave
Insomnia
