Betwixt Two Hearts (Crossroads Collection)

by Amanda Tru

  “Yes,” Camden answered gruffly. “I’m very much aware that you have a boyfriend. It’s what makes me off-limits for you. And you’re not a Christian, which is what makes you off-limits for me. Neither of those means that we can’t be friends, or at least treat each other with a decent amount of civility.”

  “What are you talking about?” Bailey protested. “Not that I’m not off-limits, but I already told you I’m a Christian. I really don’t appreciate that you keep accusing me of something that isn’t true. I’m a Christian. I believe in God. What more do you expect?”

  “Bailey, I really don’t mean to offend you,” Camden said, putting both his palms up to face her. “I just think that you and I have different definitions of Christianity. What do you think it means to be a Christian? How did you become a Christian? What do you believe?”

  Bailey rolled her eyes and looked like she’d rather do anything than answer his question. Finally, seeming to decide that she might as well stick it out, she responded, “Like I said, I believe in God. I even asked Jesus into my heart as a child. I believe Jesus died for my sins. I just don’t believe the Bible should be taken as literally as some people seem to think. God and Jesus are about love. Love is the priority. In the Bible, they didn’t have to deal with modern culture. We need to take the values that are in the Bible and apply that same love to how we handle things today.”

  None of this was a surprise to Camden. He’d suspected that Bailey felt this way, but hearing it from her lips felt a little daunting. He supposed he could simply back off and be content to finish watching the eagle emerge from the ice. However, he also felt that now was his chance. If he didn’t take the opportunity now, he didn’t know that he’d be given another one.

  “You said you believe Jesus died for your sins,” Camden said bravely. “What about the sins you are committing now?”

  Bailey sighed. “I’m not as bad as some people, but I know I’m not perfect. I’ve made mistakes. I imagine Jesus died for those mistakes and all the things I did wrong.”

  “All of that is in the past tense. Do you not think you have anything to be forgiven for now?”

  Bailey groaned, putting her fingers to her temples and rubbing as if she were getting a headache. “Just come out and say what you’re trying to say, Camden.”

  Camden swallowed and forged onward. “You’re living with your boyfriend. I believe that the Bible teaches that sexual relations outside of marriage are sinful.”

  Camden heard her sharp intake of breath at his blunt words.

  “You think I’m not a Christian because I live with my boyfriend?” she asked incredulously.

  Camden winced and hurried to explain. “No, that’s not it at all, Bailey. Please understand. I’m not offering a commentary on the evils of couples living together before marriage, and I’m not judging the hearts and Christianity of those who do. My words are not to be painted in broad, general terms. I’m not talking about anyone else but you. You don’t seem to prioritize God in any area of your life, and your actions are just symptoms of those priorities. Maybe I’m completely wrong about you, and if so, I apologize. But nothing about you tells me that you are wholeheartedly devoted to the God of the Bible. Please tell me differently. I’m certainly not perfect and manage to quite easily sin on a daily basis, but I do try to recognize sin for what it is. Even though it would be much more convenient to justify and label it differently, I try to go with God’s opinion in such things and not mine, even if I don’t particularly like His opinion.”

  Bailey turned swiftly and began walking, talking in staccato as Camden trailed along beside her. “Then you’re definitely right, Camden. We don’t share some of the same definitions. Like I said, I think the Bible needs to be interpreted through the lens of our modern culture. Marriage is a government institution. Dekker and I are in a loving and committed relationship. I believe that in God’s view, we are married. We are not evil people. We are consenting adults and we aren’t doing anything wrong. There is nothing inherently sinful about that.”

  Camden hurried around, getting in front of her so that he blocked her path, and she had to stop. Looking at her directly, unwavering in his conviction, he spoke, “A marriage is a legally binding contract, yes, but it is also a ceremony before God. You are making binding vows before God and sealing them with the legality of the government which you are under. It is an institution of value and not one to be taken lightly by saying that it doesn’t really matter. Your lines drawing who God is are fuzzy. Mine are clear.”

  Bailey shook her head wearily and turned to go around him, her hand waving as if he were a pesky fly she was trying to dismiss entirely. “I guess we have a different view of just about everything then. Our views of love and marriage are different, and I don’t believe I like your God much at all.”

  Bailey crossed the street to the parking lot while Camden remained at her elbow and persisted, “That’s not really something you get to choose. God doesn’t change with each person. If you aren’t serving the one, true God, your version is just an idol. People don’t get to choose who God is and what He looks like. God is.”

  Reaching the other side of the crosswalk, Bailey swung back around to face him, eyes blazing. “How do you know your idea of God is more accurate than mine? Maybe it doesn’t even matter. We both believe in God. We both believe Jesus died on the cross. Isn’t that enough?”

  “No,” Camden shook his head sadly, and his tone gentled. “You don’t know God. He isn’t in charge of your life. You know someone died, but you don’t know who He is. God is personal. It matters to Him that you know who He is, serve Him, and let Him call the shots in your life. It matters that you love Him and want a relationship with Him that includes more than just viewing Him as the Santa Claus of Salvation.”

  Bailey looked at him with one skeptical eyebrow raised just a bit. “I think your view of God is a bit lower on the popularity scale than mine. I know lots of people who are Christians, but not many have such a narrow view as you.”

  “You’re right,” Camden admitted. “Our culture has heartily adopted a view of Christianity like yours, one that just takes what they like of God and leaves what they don’t. Let me ask you something. If someone came up to you and said Elise Hutchins is a controlling busybody, would you agree with that?”

  Bailey looked taken aback by his sudden change of subject. “Of course not! Elise is the sweetest person I know!”

  This time, Camden led the way to the car. Casually, he shrugged. “What if this person told you that they’d met her. They know she makes matches for people without their consent. She meddles in people’s lives. She’s rude and pushy. She’s also blonde and weighs over three hundred pounds.”

  Bailey laughed. “That’s ridiculous! If someone said that, I’d tell them they obviously don’t know Elise at all!”

  “But they say they’ve met her,” Camden insisted. “It’s your word against theirs.”

  With the push of a button, Camden unlocked the car, but instead of opening the passenger side door for her, he turned to face her, leaning against the car and folding his arms across his chest.

  “I’d ask them for proof,” Bailey said, her tone conveying that she was rapidly tiring of this game and becoming annoyed. “I can at least show them a picture of what she really looks like.”

  “Wouldn’t matter,” Camden threw out, unrelenting. “They’d just say you’re wrong. They’d met her and talked to her. They know her. Your perception of her wouldn’t matter.”

  Standing upright, he stepped forward a little and pierced Bailey with an intense look. “Let me ask you this, Bailey. Does someone holding a different view of Elise change who she really is?”

  “Of course not,” Bailey scoffed. “Who cares what an idiot thinks? None of that changes the truth.”

  “Exactly,” Camden said, his smile widening in triumph. “What you think of God doesn’t change who He is. You might not even like everything about God. You might not like that He has very s
pecific views on sin. That doesn’t change Him at all. The challenge is to come to God on His terms. See your life the way He does, and then accept Him to both change you and transform your life with Him as the pilot. Bailey, you can’t claim to be a follower of Christ if you don’t know or accept who He is. That acceptance isn’t simply an acknowledgment in your head to ‘come into my heart.’ That can definitely be part of it, but it can’t be the whole story. To truly be a born-again Christian, one must allow God to come and take up residence, giving Him permission to change your heart. You cannot accept salvation without accepting the whole package. You don’t get to pick and choose. ‘Believe’ is a verb. It is not a one-and-done-type thing. It is something you live every day of your life, believing that Jesus died for your sins of yesterday and the ones today, believing that God has the right to be boss of your life and that He is working to change you and accomplish His will, and believing that the same, exact faith that saved you is how God will help you finish the race and welcome you into eternity with Him.”

  Bailey fell silent for the stretch of several, long moments. Though she didn’t raise her eyes to make contact, she finally asked, “Can we go home now?”

  “Absolutely,” Camden said, feeling awkward for the first time since the conversation started. He almost felt like he should apologize, but that was ridiculous. He didn’t need to apologize for stating his beliefs, even if that made her feel awkward.

  Bailey remained uncharacteristically quiet the entire way home while Camden relentlessly argued with himself, trying to talk himself out of the guilt and figure out what he should say to smooth the waters. He couldn’t feel sorry for speaking the truth, but he probably didn’t handle it well at all.

  Back at his parents’ house, Camden walked Bailey to the front door. “Bailey, I—”

  “Camden, I appreciate and respect your views, but I think you’re wrong,” she said finally, her lips trembling. “The reason I think you’re wrong has nothing to do with your reasoning or Bible scholarship. It’s that I can’t fathom the idea that you’re right. If you are, then that means that a whole lot of people who think they’re Christians really aren’t. I can’t believe God would do that.”

  “‘Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few,’” Camden quoted quietly. “That’s Matthew 7:13-14. Sometimes God’s ways don’t seem quite fair when we look at them through our human eyes. That’s where faith comes in. God is good, He loves us, and that never changes. Even if we can’t understand the why, I believe we can know the Who.”

  “Goodnight, Camden,” Bailey said simply, opening the door to the house.

  “Goodnight, Bailey,” Camden replied. “Please forgive me. I can’t help but want you coming through the narrow gate with me.”

  Bailey didn’t answer, shutting the door behind her. Fortunately, Camden knew that prayers could reach what his hands and words could not.

  Lord, show Bailey the right gate.

  Bailey paced the floor, mentally rehearsing what to say to Camden. She took deep breaths as she paced, trying to quell the anger boiling within, but today only added to the simmering fury from the other night. Though they both worked through the weekend on opposite sides of the office, they hadn’t interacted much, allowing Bailey plenty of time to replay Camden’s words about Christianity in her head over and over and providing ample fuel for them to fester.

  By the time Monday morning rolled around, Bailey didn’t need another excuse to be angry with Camden, but what she’d found upon logging onto the site had been enough to push her over the edge so that when the doorknob twisted, Bailey was fully prepared to unleash her wrath.

  “Are you aware what you’ve done?” Bailey asked, her voice deceptively calm as Camden stepped into the room.

  The pleasant, good-morning look on his face instantly died.

  “Um… no. I guess I’m not. What did I do?”

  “One of the dates set up by your precious algorithm completely flopped,” Bailey informed him. “We just received the review, and it’s terrible! I shouldn’t need to tell you how important it is to get this right, especially at the beginning. Now we have dissatisfied customers. The date went so badly, I seriously doubt either of them will want to sign up for the service. Your stupid algorithm is going to kill the site before it even gets started. You should have listened to me in the first place. It was always a bad idea to let a computer make the matches without the human element. This proves it.”

  By the time Bailey finished speaking, she felt her face warm and her calm give way to dramatically deliver her words with the full emotion they deserved. She was angry, and Camden deserved the full force of that anger.

  Camden reached back with one hand to rub his neck. “Can we redo this? Why don’t I go out through the door, shut it, and come back in? That way, we can pretend this didn’t happen, and you can try once again to explain to me the problem, this time without the insults.”

  “I’m not the one who set up a terrible date and put the website in jeopardy!” Bailey flung back, unwilling to allow even a tingle of remorse to creep into her fury.

  Camden’s lips tensed into a straight line. “Fine, show me the review, and I’ll figure out what to do to fix it.”

  Camden logged onto his computer and let Bailey bring up the review.

  Bailey watched as he read the review, swooping as soon as he finished. “See? I told you it was bad.”

  “Just give me a minute,” Camden murmured clicking through a few screens. “Where is her review?”

  “Well, she hasn’t left one yet, but I’m sure it’s coming. Obviously, the date was terrible.”

  “Not necessarily. Maybe from her perspective, it didn’t go as badly as it did for him,” Camden pointed out reasonably.

  “How does that matter? If Drew Tanner starts talking to others about his horrible experience with Betwixt Two Hearts, then his dissatisfaction will spread like a virus, even without Kaylie’s written review.”

  “Just let me check a few things before we pounce too hard on that panic button, Bailey,” Camden murmured, continuing to click through windows on the screen.

  With her arms crossed over her front, Bailey tapped her foot impatiently on the hardwood floor. Somehow, the staccato little beat relaxed her enough to wait. Though from the glares of annoyance Camden threw her way, he didn’t find the sound nearly as comforting, and she didn’t let any of his dirty looks cause her to miss a single step.

  A couple of minutes later, he suddenly sat up straight. “Wait a minute. Hundreds of reviews have been posted, most of which were logged over the weekend. Bailey, did you even look at these other reviews? A lot of them are fabulous. A few of them are mediocre. Bailey, Drew Tanner’s review of that one date is the only truly negative review in the lot!”

  “Isn’t that one more than enough?” Bailey retorted impatiently.

  Camden made a few more clicks and then raised both arms triumphantly as if he’d just scored a touchdown. “Bailey, we have paying clients! Lots of them! Many of our clients seemed so happy with their free match that now they are paying for the site access!”

  Bailey sighed dramatically, “Camden, that’s great and all, but can you please focus on the problem at hand? We can celebrate later after this particular issue is addressed.”

  Camden turned to her, shaking his head. “Bailey, this isn’t a problem. As much as I’d like us to be perfect, we are not immune to bad reviews. Of course, we will have them. It’s to be expected. I just don’t understand why you pick the one negative thing in a sea of positive.”

  “You screw up, and now you’re lecturing me about how the cup really is half full?” Bailey asked, incredulous. “I don’t think so! Own up to your mistake, Camden. It’s time to make changes to the site before it’s too late. We need to switch everything to the personal matchmaker option.”


  Camden looked at her like she was crazy. “Bailey, I never pretended that the algorithm could predict love with one-hundred percent accuracy. As you, yourself, have said, love requires a certain magical element that simply can’t be predicted. I only ever say that the algorithm is highly accurate. The human element is one that no one, not even you, can control or predict. There are outliers on every bell curve. Just wait, the matches you made will have their own outliers as well. Looking at these numbers so far, the algorithm is performing much better than I anticipated!”

  “Does that mean you aren’t planning to do anything about these two clients and their bad date?” Bailey accused, placing her hands on her hips and glaring at him.

  “No, not at all. Let me just click right here and right here… See? I anticipated bad date reviews when designing the site. If I simply click this little button here, then Drew will get an automated email apologizing that his experience didn’t meet his expectations and offering a second match free of charge. When they respond to the email and accept the offer, then I’ll send them a second name from his list.”

  “No,” Bailey said sternly. “Move over. You are not going to send that man an automated email after his experience. I will send him a personal one myself. If he’s getting a free match, then it will come from me, not the algorithm.”

  “Fine,” Camden rolled his chair back and waved as if introducing the computer. “It’s all yours. Find Drew his happily ever after.”

  Bailey sat down in Camden’s chair and spent the next few minutes focusing on the profiles in front of her. She glanced through the algorithm-generated lists of matches and selected a few more profiles to view.

  “This one is rather obvious,” she finally declared, nodding at Drew’s picture on the screen. Drew belongs with this woman right here.”