by Clara Bayard
I swallowed hard. “Okay.”
He leaned in close enough that I could feel the heat radiating off of him and smell that unique scent he gave off.
“You’re the most infuriating woman I’ve ever met, Julia Clark. If I was the kind of cowardly shithead to hit a woman I would have decked you a dozen times by now. Every time I see you I don’t know if we’re going to fight or fuck or both.
“And goddamn me if I don’t love that. Live for it. You hate me one minute, you want me the next, and I don’t even care. You could break every window in my car tomorrow and then curl up in my lap and I wouldn’t be surprised. So I don’t care if you’re mad, or why. Because you make me crazy. In the best way ever and I am not letting you go.”
My mouth dropped open and a squeaky, “What?” is all that came out.
“You’re mine, Jules. Every sexy crazy inch of you. And as long as we’re in the same place you’re gonna be in my arms and in my bed. So you might as well just get used to it.”
In the back of my mind my common-sense was screaming objections and reasons. But I ignored it. Because the rest of me. Brain, heart and burning core all knew the truth. That Rick was right. Somehow in between being unable to decide if I wanted to kiss or strangle him, I’d gotten hooked. It wasn’t romantic or like anything I’d ever dreamed of, but it was right. It was us. And so I kissed him. Hard and deep and rough. Shoving every thought in my head away and telling the truth in ways my words never could.
TWO
After a kiss that left us both breathless, I took Rick’s hand and pulled him over toward my bed.
“I’m sweaty and stinky,” he muttered while unzipping my pants.
“I noticed. Don’t care.” I climbed up onto the bed and wrapped my arms around his neck.
“Kind of tired, too. Just finished a show.” He grinned and reached up under the back of my shirt to unhook my bra.
“Ditto. Very sleepy.” I leaned down and licked along the stubbled line of his jaw.
Rick groaned and pulled away long enough to help me twist out of my shirt and bra. Still fully clothed, he set me down on my back in the middle of the bed and stood over me. “Best view in town.”
I smiled. “You’re such a romantic, Rick.”
“Shut up, Julia.” He bent over and ran a finger down over my mouth, chin and neck. Then slid it down between my breasts and over my belly button. Grazing the swell of my stomach he kept going, dancing over my mound. His touch was light, but affected me deeply, even through the fabric of my jeans and panties. He lingered along the seam of my pants, over my core for a while before reversing direction and heading back toward bare skin. That single digit made every nerve-ending in my body sing as it traced back up, veering to one side to circle the soft roundness of one breast, spiraling inward to reach the pebbled tip.
He circled still, teasing the sensitive skin until my back arched. “Just relax. Let me take you.”
I shook my head and sat up, smiling. “Not this time. I’m too keyed up.”
Rick’s hand cupped a breast. “Then, what do you want?”
I shifted and turned, pushing his chest to make him lay back. “You relax.”
“All right.”
I grinned wickedly and straddled him, loving the way his eyes scanned from my face down to my chest and back again as if he couldn’t decide which he liked better. There’s nothing hotter than a man who adores your body, and behind his gaze I could see burning desire. My mind was still reeling from the last few days. Going from happy to angry to sad to aroused, it left me jittery and I knew just how to discharge it.
Tossing my head to move my hair behind my shoulders, I ran my hands down the sides of my body and then up again, cupping my breasts the way he had, feeling their plump, soft weight. Rick’s eyes went wide and his hands gripped my thighs.
I licked my lips and slipped from his grasp, sliding backwards on the bed. I unzipped my jeans and raised a leg. He took the hint and pulled off my shoe and then tugged my pants down. After repeating the maneuver on the other side I was clad only in a pair of tiny panties.
Resettling again on Rick’s thighs, I spread my legs and ran my hands up over my ankles and around my calves, over my knees and up my thighs.
He groaned and reached for me, but I slapped his hands away. “Be good.”
Rick smirked. “I always am, sweetheart.”
Cocky bastard. But I couldn’t disagree. “Fine. Be patient.”
He shrugged and rolled his fingers in a gesture for me to continue. I arched an eyebrow and slid my hand down inside my panties. As my fingers raked through the damp curls Rick tensed under me. I caressed my sex lightly, barely grazing, and let out a low moan.
Faster than I could really process, he was in motion. “Enough.” Rick grabbed me and pulled me up close. His arousal strained the confines of his pants and his lips crashed into mine. His mouth devoured me, lips and teeth and tongue sucking and nipping and tasting. I dragged his shirt off over his head and ran my hands across the wide expanse of his back.
Nestled in his lap I rubbed against him, enjoying the rasp of soft satin against denim. I rocked my hips over and over again as we kissed, driving myself wild.
Rick pushed a finger inside me, and finding me moist and ready, he groaned.
I chuckled and shoved him back again. But before he could protest I tugged his jeans down over his hips, freeing his erection.
“Now what?” he asked, voice husky.
“Now this.” I fumbled for a condom and opened the packet quickly before rolling it down over his length. Hot and hard, his flesh jumped at my touch. I placed him at my entrance and slid down smoothly, slowly, enjoying the stretch and slide. He groaned as my walls gripped him. With my hands on his shoulders I sighed, letting him in deeper and deeper. Our gazes locked together and in the intense silence the only thing I heard was breathing and the soft sound of skin gliding over skin.
After taking a long moment to enjoy the feeling, I shifted my hips and began to rock back and forth. The motion made my insides coil tightly. I tucked my face into Rick’s neck and bit down lightly right between where his pulse pounded and the first swirl of the tattoos that covered his strong back.
“Jesus,” he swore with a hiss of pain and pleasure. It seemed to electrify him and suddenly it wasn’t about me taking control anymore. Rick’s hands held my hips tight. His chest pushed hard against mine and my nipples were tickled by the soft down covering him.
I bit my lower lip as he bucked against me. Our bodies warred with each other, teeth scraping and fingers digging in. It was a delicious battle with no loser.
The coil of desire deep inside me wound tighter and tighter as we rocked together and then exploded. I screamed something unintelligible and dug my nails into Rick’s shoulders where there were still tiny half-moon scars from another intense session.
He growled and drove in me again and again, harder. His lips found my neck and he sucked. I knew there’d be a hickey there and I didn’t care. As we climaxed together in a tangle of limbs and skin and heat, marking each other ferociously, I wondered why I’d wasted a single second before making this happen. How I could have ever thought of denying myself this man. His voice and his touch. His strength and intensity. They were everything I never knew I wanted and I couldn’t get enough.
As our sweat-slicked skin cooled in the hotel air I shivered. Rick disentangled us and we collapsed on our backs. He tugged a sheet over us and rolled onto his side to look at me silently for a while. I shut my eyes and breathed deeply, content, but not entirely sated.
“You know,” Rick said as he ran a finger over my bare shoulder, “We’re supposed to be at a party right now.”
“Mm-hmm. We can get dressed and go, if you want.”
“It would be the sociable and professional thing to do.”
I nodded and ran my hand over the ridges of muscles covering his stomach and then further down to wrap around him. “Up to you…”
He groaned and stiffene
d under my fingers. “Fuck it.”
I woke up the next morning to the sound of my phone ringing. I grumbled and slipped out of bed gracelessly to find and silence the damn thing. But as I reached it, I saw it was evil publicity robot, Christine.
I rolled my eyes and answered, keeping my voice low so I didn’t wake Rick up.
“Hello?”
“Julia, great. I’m so glad you’re awake.”
“I wasn’t until you called. I don’t even know what time it is.”
“Six-thirty.”
“Oh god. I just went to bed. What do you want?” I tried to be cordial to her most of the time, even though she seemed genetically modified to annoy me, but I wouldn’t be nice to anyone who woke me up at what might as well be the middle of the night.
“I have some great news for you,” she chirped.
“What?”
“A radio station in the city wants to book you for a short set today.”
“Huh? Christine we have another show tonight, in case you forgot.”
“I know, but it’s just two songs. And they’re getting a ton of attention for this new thing they do, Flash Concerts.”
“I don’t know what that is.” Nor did I care. My gaze drifted over to the bed. Rick was sprawled out on his stomach, snoring softly, his big strong body fully relaxed. He looked sexy and inviting and I wanted nothing more than to climb back in and pull the covers over our heads.
“…Like a pop-up restaurant, I guess. Everything is top secret until right before the show. Fans love it and they’re getting a lot of press coverage for this. It’s all very cutting edge.”
I’d missed most of what Christine was saying, but I got the gist. “Okay, okay. Stop selling it to me. I’m too tired to remember anyway. I agree it’s a great opportunity, if we can make the timing work.”
“Let me worry about that. I’ll call your manager next and we’ll set everything up.”
“Okay, fine. But I’m shutting my phone off for at least three hours. I need some sleep if I’m doing two shows today.”
“Great. Oh, I’m so pleased. I’ll send you an email with some info and…”
I trudged back over to the bed and got in. Even with the phone away from my ear I could hear her voice coming through the speaker, quiet and tinny. I grimaced and pushed to end the call and then switched the phone off. I was fast asleep again before my head hit the pillow.
During the rest of that crazy day I thought back to when I’d been sitting around with nothing to do but write songs I didn’t think anyone would ever hear, and feel sorry for myself. The “Flash Concert” was actually a lot of fun, and I was surprised how much press there was about the event. By the time I made it to the arena for the night’s show I was tired, but knew the crowd would re-energize me. Besides, it was our last night in Vegas and after everything that had happened here, I was equal parts sad to leave and excited to get the tour actually on the road.
I didn’t get a chance to see Rick alone after the show, unfortunately. By the time we’d all finished signing autographs and posing for pictures with fans, the buses were loaded and we had to head north to Reno – our first overnight drive. First of many, from what I remembered of the itinerary.
This was everything I’d been waiting for. Crashing on my bus, falling asleep to the sound of Janine and the rest of my backing band laughing up front. From being a kid in the business I’d learned how to fall asleep in any situation. When I worked on King of Hearts there were tons of laws and rules about times and number of hours I could work, but between the show, homework, acting classes and practicing instruments, I became princess of napping. I could probably nap onstage in the middle of a show if I had somewhere comfortable to sit.
The next few days were a blur. I desperately wanted to remember every minute, but it was impossible. Every minute we weren’t onstage we were traveling or talking to reporters or doing photo shoots or whatever other bullshit the suits could come up with to fill the days.
But even the annoying things were fun for me. I hadn’t argued with my mother in days. True, I barely saw her, but still. While she was busy making sure every person in the country knew my name and my music, I got to just have fun.
Being on the road with Dream Defiled and Playology was weird. Like summer camp on wheels. But with a lot more booze. Between coffee to wake me up for radio station interviews and the gallons of alcohol I ingested after shows, my body was constantly on the edge, but I loved it. And when everything got a little too crazy, I could always grab Rick and run off to hide together.
The once terrifying camera crew became just another part of the familiar insanity. They were everywhere, sure. But once I saw most of the things they shot were just short videos online documenting some silly moments, I calmed down a lot around them. And finding ways to duck them was kind of fun. One afternoon before our Seattle show I was finishing up a call in the parking lot where our buses were and spotted Rick and Matthew doing an impromptu workout. The cameras were there, of course. And from the effect watching Rick, shirtless and sweaty, doing push-ups on the asphalt, had on me, I figured that video would be a record-breaker.
I stopped and stared as long as I dared, but got caught by Vincent, the team’s producer. He waved and beckoned me over. We walked far enough away that the boom mic wouldn’t pick up our voices before saying anything.
“Hey, Julia, I’m glad you’re here. Do you have a few minutes for us today?”
“Um…maybe later? I’ve got to go check on wardrobe and then start warming up.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Bullshit.”
I gaped. “What?”
“I know you don’t dig the whole videography thing. But it’s working. Getting more attention for all of you guys. Selling merch and records.”
“I know.”
“Look, you don’t have to love it. But give me ten minutes. We’ll do a couple sound bites and I can use them for weeks with footage. Then you can go back to trying to pretend we don’t exist.”
“Damn, cameras do catch everything,” I said wryly.
“Pretty much.” He grinned and looked over at Rick and Matthew.
My stomach twisted into a knot. Was that a pointed comment? Did he know about me and Rick?
“So, uh…what kind of things do you want me to talk about?”
“Huh?” He blinked a few times and turned his attention back to me. “Oh, sorry. Nothing big. I have a list of general questions. Just smile and don’t curse and it’ll be over before you know it.”
“Okay. Where?”
“Your bus?”
“All right. Give me ten minutes to freshen up?”
“Sure. We’ll be over soon.”
I smiled. “Can’t wait.”
Vincent laughed, but before I could say anything else he was walking back over to the camera guys.
On my way back to my bus I ran into Janine. She had sent me a cryptic text about an emergency appointment but now I saw what she’d meant.
“Holy shit,” I said, grinning broadly. “You look amazing.”
“Thanks, hon.” She twirled around so I could get a better look at her new hair. What had once been straight ordinary brown was now a golden blond that suited her pale skin and delicate features perfectly.
“You never said anything about changing your hair. What happened?”
“I had a crazy dream last night, and in it I had this hair. The dream was kind of scary but I looked really fabulous, so I went for it.”
I laughed. “You’re a freak.”
“You know it, girl,” she replied. “Now buzz off, I have to go show my new hotness to the rest of the world.”
“Go, go. But I want more details later.”
She wiggled her fingers and strutted off. Man, I loved that girl.
I continued on the way over to my bus and climbed the stairs. Most of my stuff was inside in my dressing room, but I had enough hair products and makeup on the bus to get presentable.
And as if on cue, t
en minutes later, Vincent knocked on the side of the door and boarded with his crew in tow.
“Ready, gorgeous?”
“Of course. Where do you want me?”
He looked around, gesturing to the crew silently. “Sit over here by the window and let me see how it lights.”
I obeyed without argument. A rare and wonderful occurrence. The crew placed a few lights around me and worked with the camera guy to make minor adjustments for a few minutes while Vincent mumbled into his phone. The secret to knowing who is important in the entertainment business is whoever spends the most time working in person while talking on a phone. Multitasking equals success and he was a master at it.
Finally we were ready. Vincent ended his call and smiled. “Okay, let’s do this. I’ll feed you the questions, but answer them like you’re just thinking aloud. Does that make sense?”
I fluffed my hair. “Not really.”
He laughed. “We won’t use my voice in the clips, so pretend there wasn’t a question. Like if I ask you how the weather is, don’t just answer gray and chilly. Say something like, ‘The weather is really gray and chilly up here, but I don’t mind.’ Okay?”
“Got it.”
“Great. Let’s begin.” He paused for a moment and then asked his first question. “How long have you been on the road so far, and how is it going?”
I straightened my back and looked into the camera. “We’ve only been on the road for a week or so, but everything is going great. I’m having a ball. There’s so much work and time leading up to something like this and it’s amazing to see it all come together.”
Vincent made sure I was finished and then nodded. “Tell me more about what pieces have to work together to make a tour a success.”
“So many people and things have to happen to do a single show. Multiply that times fifty and you’re looking at a small army of hard workers to make sure we can give fans the best shows possible for months at a time. Stage crews, support staff, logistics people, wardrobe, food, lawyers, techs, I could go on forever. There’s so much done and coordinated and it all happens behind the scenes so all the fans see is us on the stage. But we’d never – I’d never sing a note or play a chord without everything they do. It’s really…” I trailed off as I heard some kind of commotion outside. “Should I keep going?”
