Steeling My Haart

by Lizzy Roberts

  “Wait! Thank you… for everything,” Emma yelled a hint of panic in her voice as she stepped out the door and ran with bare feet down the cold pavement to hug him. “Don’t leave. There is plenty if you have nowhere else to go. Come join us,” she requested as she released him and held out her hand. He smiled shyly and reluctantly reached out to her, wrapping his large warm hand around her smaller one.

  “I’d really like that, Emma. Thank you.” He shifted and asked, “Did you get my letter?”

  Emma stopped and looked him right in the eye. “Yes. I did, and I choose you,” she whispered as she lifted her face and kissed him softly on his lips. The world stood still right at that moment and years of anger, sorrow and loneliness poured from her into a kiss that literally took his breath away. It wasn’t a passionate kiss nor did either of them attempt to deepen it but the tenderness and the emotion behind it spoke volumes. As she broke away, she looked him in the eyes. “Things will have to be slow. You’ve seen what a complicated life I have just now. We need to talk about, a lot of things, and I need some answers, too, but the truth is, Charlie, I don’t want to be without you anymore.”

  He looked stunned at the words he was hearing and it took a moment for the reality to settle in. Lost for words, he simply hugged her close. “Oh, Em,” he choked out, “you don’t know how happy you have just made me.”

  “I think I may have an idea.” She smiled broadly at him and led him up the path and into the crowded house. “Now I warn you its chaos in there. Are you sure you want to join us?” Humor laced her voice at the expression on his face as he realized what he had just agreed to.

  “I’m sure, sweetheart. Wild horses couldn’t me away again,” he whispered as she led him through the door and into the raucous laughter that has filled the house in her absence.

  “Emma, honey, is that you? Hurry and come sit down, I’m just about to serve lunch. And can you grab Leo’s sippy cup from the room before you come in? It’s somewhere over by the tree,” her mom shouted as she and Charlie both stepped into the hallway. She could hear Adie chattering away with Lou and her dad and Bruce were still deep in conversation about the upcoming baseball season.

  “Okay, Mom, I’ll go grab it, but can we make space for another guest, please?” she shouted back more for the benefit of everyone else gathered rather than her mom’s. As she walked through into the living area with Charlie now in tow, the place fell into silence. An embarrassed Charlie shuffled as she clung to him as if her life depended on it. “Hope nobody minds another guest for dinner,” she said.

  Bruce was the first to break the silence as he winked at Emma across the room and said, “Told you so!” as she threw him a dirty look.

  Mike leapt up from the table and strode purposefully toward Charlie, and without missing a beat, he grabbed him by the shoulders and embraced him. “Welcome back, son,” he said, “it took you long enough.” He slapped him heartily on the back and offered his own seat up for him to take.

  “So who do we have here?” Nicky asked as she popped her head around the corner from the kitchen. Her face lit up when she saw the guest, “Oh my,” was all she could muster and she hurried round the table, frantically wiping her hands on the apron she was wearing before she reached the overwhelmed figure siting at the head of the table. “Come here, young man and give me a hug. I can’t tell you how nice it is to see you again.” She pulled him close to her an embracing him like along lost son. “How are you doing?” She looked him over with a concerned eye.

  “Much better now, Nicky, thanks.” He smiled as she released him and patted him fondly on the shoulder.

  “Right, now everyone, can someone give me a hand bringing in all of this food, and we can dig in. Let’s get this party started.” She clapped her hands and rallied the guests to help and finally taking the spotlight from their new guest.

  Emma was so grateful to everyone for how they had simply welcomed Charlie back into their lives and she sat back and watched as he interacted with everyone, including Bruce and Lou as if he had always been a part of their lives.

  The kids absolutely adored him, even to the exclusion of their old favorite uncles. He didn’t seem to be ill at ease around them like she thought he might and it was a heart-warming sight for sure. She caught Bruce and Charlie deep in conversation on several occasions and the both seemed to be hitting it off really well and she was touched that Bruce had made a real effort to get to know him too. Lou was however a little more reserved, but when Charlie announced he had been by the diner earlier and had grabbed a stash of cupcakes that were in his car, Lou was instantly won over.

  The rest of the afternoon was perfect and after the nightmare of the previous day Emma was counting her blessings that she had made the day so special for the children. There were many sneaky glances exchanged between Emma and Charlie. Nicky and Mike took the kids off to give them their baths and put then down to sleep as Bruce and Lou excused themselves and headed back to her parents’ house.

  Charlie helped Emma clear away the final dishes and plates from the table and working in a comfortable silence they managed to have the place straightened within no time. As she set the dishwasher, Charlie’s gaze warmed Emma’s skin even though he was nowhere near her. She turned to meet his gaze and her breath hitched as the sight of him devouring her with his eyes as she faced him.

  “I need to get going, sweetheart. I don’t trust myself to behave if I stay any longer tonight. As much as I need you more than I have ever needed anything, we have to talk. I have so much to tell you and so much I want to know. Thank you for today, you don’t know how much I’ve needed this for so long. Your family is amazing. I am so grateful to you and them for welcoming me back. I need to do things right this time, though. So if you can get someone to watch the children one evening, I’d like to take you out on a proper date,” he whispered, so as not to disturb the kids.

  Emma was disappointed he was leaving, but she was touched that he wanted to take her out. “Well, I could be free tomorrow, if you are,” she replied. “Mom and Dad are back and the kids have their favorite uncles here, too, and I am sure they would manage to watch them for me.”

  “Okay, I’ll pick you up at seven. No need to dress up, there are a couple of places I want to show you tomorrow so dress comfortably.” He said as he approached her and lifted her gently into his arms and kissed her softly on her head. “We have eight long years to catch up on, and I intend to find out what you’ve been up to for every last second of those.” He loosened his hold on her and grabbed his jacket to leave.

  “Good night, Blaze, sweet dreams,” she whispered back. “See you at seven tomorrow.”

  “Good night, sweetheart, until tomorrow,” Charlie confirmed as he let himself out of the house and he was gone.

  Emma was rooted to the spot as she watched him leave and jumped as her parents both tiptoed out from the kids’ bedrooms. Her mom startled her as she spoke, “Well, that was an unexpected surprise, honey. How are you feeling?” she asked, the smile on her face giving away her happiness at the days’ events.

  “You want the truth? I’m really happy. I know we have a lot of ground to cover, but I still can’t see myself settling down with anyone else. I love him Mom, I always have and I always will I think,” Emma admitted.

  “I know you do, honey and he loves you, too. You can see it in his face. Just be gentle on him. These last few years haven’t been easy on him, either,” she stated, slightly surprising her daughter who still thought her mom had been pretty anti-Charlie for a few years.

  “He’s asked me out on a date tomorrow night, can you look after Adie and Leo for me?”

  “Of course, honey, and I think it might be an idea if they come to our house for a sleepover. Then you don’t have to worry about hurrying back,” she suggested, throwing her an overdramatic eyewink and once again shocking Emma slightly.

  “Erm… thank you, Mom?” she stuttered.

  “Emma, love, it’s been a fabulous day. Well done on c
oping with your first Christmas as a parent. Those two little ones have had a ball and shouldn’t give you any trouble tonight. I’m beat, though. You coming Nicky? I need my bed, I think I’ve eaten too much.” He rubbed his belly as he reached over to her mom and pulled her to his side.

  “I’m with your dad, honey. It’s been a lovely day. You should be proud of yourself. Bring the little angels around for lunch and we will keep them overnight. Sleep well, honey,” her mom suggested as they turned to leave.

  She locked up behind them and headed to bed, falling into a restful sleep within minutes, feeling happier and more positive than she had in a long time.

  Chapter Thirty

  Waking refreshed after a full night of restful sleep, Emma felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders as she arrived at her parents’ house with the children. Nerves about tonight were slowly creeping in but it was Charlie after all and she was desperate to talk to him and get things off her chest and out in the open once and for all.

  She spent a couple of hours with Bruce and Lou, who cooed over her date tonight, and trying to give her pointers for the evening. They were staying on a few more days so she would see them plenty before they had to head back. Bruce had made a couple of connections in the area and would be following those up whilst Lou had decided he wanted to spend a few days outside, helping Mike sort out Emma’s new backyard.

  Mid-afternoon was fast approaching before Emma managed to drag herself away from the fun at her parents’ house. She headed home and ran herself a nice hot bath. It had been a long time since she had been on a date, but this one was almost a make or break meeting with Charlie. She had a lot to tell him, and wondered if once she had confessed to the loss of their baby, whether he might still feel the same about her. She had carried that burden for so long, and still had issues with guilt over the fact she may have been able to save the baby had she looked after herself. It had become so important to her now to get closure on this part of her life. Only Charlie could offer her the forgiveness she needed.

  After shaving and moisturizing her entire body, she took some time to style her long hair in soft waves around her face. She had decided on wearing her black skinny jeans and a soft, pink silk knitted sweater that accentuated her coloring and flattered her curvy figure. She didn’t want to appear like she was making a huge effort after he had said he wanted her to be comfortable. Her nerves were pacified to some extent by the fact he was excited to show her something and her interest was certainly piqued at his suggestion. As seven approached the nerves came back with a vengeance. The butterflies took flight all at once when her doorbell rang. She went to open the door. There he was, clean-shaven and his hair styled to perfection, standing on her front porch in a pair of dark jeans and a crisp white shirt, open at the collar. He was wearing a dark winter jacket over his shirt and she immediately noticed the huge bunch of mixed flowers he was holding.

  “Those are beautiful, Charlie, thank you,” she exclaimed as he handed them over. “Come in a minute while I find a vase to put them in,” she offered as he stepped in and leaned down to give her a peck on the cheek.

  He stood back and took her in, his gaze tenderly scanning over her body. “You look beautiful tonight, too, Emma.” The compliment just slipped off his tongue with no thought.

  Blushing slightly as she filled a vase with water, she returned the compliment by adding, “You look pretty good yourself.” Smiling at him she set the flowers in the water and grabbed her purse. “So where are you taking me, then Mr. Haart? I’m curious.”

  “All will become clearer when we get there, but we have a lot to catch up on and I thought I might show you what I have been up to these last few years. I just hope you don’t go running for the hills when you see,” he explained. “Come on. Let’s make a move before I chicken out again.” He grabbed her hand and led her out of the door.

  He opened the door of the truck and helped her in. As they set off toward the Route 66, he asked quietly, “So, tell me a little about what you’ve been up to. I guessed you went to law school. Your dad has occasionally filled me in on a few bits when I’ve seen him around.”

  “He has?” Emma was surprised. “Well, yes, I spent a few years muddling through law school then land myself a job in New York working with a great boss, who taught me a lot. I met Bruce through work. We did a lot together over the years and I guess I can credit him with helping me get as far as I did,” she explained. “And I did pretty well at my job, too. I’ve still got an apartment back in New York that Bruce and Lou are renting from me. I’m hoping that they will eventually buy it and make it their home. If I’m being honest I never liked living so far away, but I was so scared to come back until Leo and Adie came into my life.” She gazed out of the side window. He reached out and took her hand in his and stroked her knuckles as she spoke.

  “Why didn’t you just come home to Oklahoma when you graduated?” he asked. “That was the one thing that had surprised me the most.”

  She turned to him and said, “You want the truth?”

  “Always, Emma, there isn’t anything you can tell me,” he said instantly.

  Before she could reply, she realized that they had arrived at M’s Place. It took her by surprise that he would bring her to the place he worked but she didn’t question him but waited until he explained to her why they were here.

  “Go on,” he coaxed as he put the truck into neutral and fixed the parking brake, never once letting go of her hand. The feel of his thumb running up and down the back of her hand was soothing, but she still had a huge knot in her throat as the spilled the truth.

  “You, Charlie, you were the whole reason I have stayed away.” He flinched at her words. “After you left, I was a mess and so much crap happened in those first few months, I nearly gave up on everything. I suppose the letter you left me was what spurred me on to carry on in a lot of ways, but, why didn’t you come for me like you said you would?” She looked at him with wide eyes and she could see that all but crushed him.

  Emma took in a deep breath before continuing, “It took me years to get my head back straight. There are things I need to tell you, too, but they will wait until later. I don’t want to spoil the evening so early on,” she admitted. “So what have you been up to? I must admit you’ve been pretty secretive about anything to do with yourself. I’m guessing by the state of your hands you aren’t a mechanic anymore?”

  “No!” he exclaimed laughing slightly, “but let’s get inside and I’ll fill you in when we’re seated. Come.” He let go of her hand and got out of the truck, jogging round to open the door for her and help her out. As he walked with him towards he diner, she noticed that although the diner was illuminated, it was empty.

  “Erm, Charlie, I think the place is closed. Should we go somewhere else?”

  “I know the owner pretty well, and he’s agreed we can have the diner to ourselves tonight. He’s also cooking us a nice meal to have together, if that’s okay? He assures me its never busy the day after Christmas, anyway, so we’d be doing him a favor.” She was so touched by how thoughtful he had been and as they approached he diner door, he took out a large bunch of keys and unlocked the door. As she walked in, she noticed on solitary booth at the back of the diner had been set and a candle was there ready along with a similar bunch of flowers to the ones he had brought her.

  The tension between them increased by the second and Emma was blown away to finally see her beautiful Charlie. He was the one thing that had driven her to be the woman she was today. She wanted him to take her in his arms and bury himself inside her. The need to show him how much she had missed him was almost overwhelming. But that would have to wait. They had so many things they needed to talk about and she lot to tell him. So she would fight the urge all evening if it killed her.

  “Do you want anything to drink while I go check on dinner?” he asked as he walked her over to the booth. She needed to get seated and distance herself from him for a few minutes.

  �
�I’d just love a water, please and this is just amazing,” she exclaimed as she took in the surroundings.

  It was as if someone had purposely made sure the diner had a similar feel to the one back in New York. Then things started to click into place. M’s Place, built on the site of the autoshop. This was Charlie’s place. She realized the look on her face must have given her away and Charlie’s voice startled her from her thoughts. “Before you say anything,” he said quickly, holding his hands up in front of him to halt her before she spoke “I want to confess. This place and the diner in New York, along with three others scattered cross the East Coast, are mine. And you, sweetheart, have been the inspiration behind every single one of them.” Tears immediately sprung to her eyes at this disclosure. Her hand went straight to her mouth covering it as she started to gently cry.

  “Of course,” she sniffed, reaching for a napkin he was holding out to her. “How did I not realize? M’s Place, the pumpkin lattes? And Oh my God, Blaze’s bake? That’s yours, isn’t it?” She looked at him with disbelief but within seconds the surprise spread across her face and she just shook her head as the tears rolled down her cheeks. “Charlie, I am so incredibly proud of you!” She stood from the booth to throw her arms around him.

  She felt him flinch at the instant contact and she could feel his long repressed emotions as she gazed into his eyes. She saw how he battled to keep himself in check and despite his body obviously reacting to her, he slowly pulled her arms away and took her face gently between his hands. He turned her face up to look at his and said with the pride he deserved, “I did it, sweetheart, thanks to you. I finished my diploma and graduated high school six months after you left. Uncle Hank decided to take Momma away from here and settle her nearer a center for her arthritis. The tornado completely destroyed the auto shop. Uncle Hank took the insurance money and used it to set up fresh. They were gone within weeks, but he gifted me this land and I came up with the concept of a traditional diner with a coffee shop as a business plan when was at catering college. I went to school and learned how to cook.” As she listened intently to his story, she hoped that her face showed him the pure adoration she felt for him.