When You Come to Me

by Jade Alyse

  “All the better reason,” she said to her, pushing the glass back in front of her. “You’re young…live it up…”

  Natalie pushed the glass away. “Not in this lifetime…cloudy judgment just isn’t my thing…”

  She surprised herself at how assertive she was with the girl. She only wished Brandon could hear it. Natalie looked in his direction again, the smell of seasoned steak filling the warm air, and the music seemed louder, and this time he had a beer in his clutch, letting out an elongated belch.

  “I see,” the pretty redhead said, following Natalie’s gaze. “Well…you know Brandon’s a big drinker…”

  “He’s not that bad,” Natalie said.

  “Well, not normally,” Sabrina began, taking a sip of the wine. “But after Sophia, you know, it just hit him hard. He had to have a drink all the time. It was scary, you know…you think you know someone and then…poof…they go and become an alcoholic on you…”

  Natalie turned her attention to her. The breeze grew stronger then.

  “Yep,” the redhead continued. “Sophia was the love of his life…I thought you knew that? Surely he talked about it with you?”

  Natalie remained silent.

  “He didn’t?” she said. “Well…I don’t understand…I thought you guys were ‘best friends’?”

  Silent still…

  “He’s still in love with her, you know. Told me just the other day…”

  Natalie turned away and found it hard to swallow.

  “That’s why it’s bizarre that he’d want you to come,” Sabrina laughed. “It’s quite funny, you know…the place that you’re sleeping in tonight is the exact same place that Sophia was suppose to sleep…how’s that for ironic? Or maybe…maybe she would be in Brandon’s bed? Girl-to-girl, she said the sex was fantastic…”

  She couldn’t believe that she left in such a huff, and she hoped that Brandon didn’t see her leave.

  But he found her anyway, seated on the darkening sand by the water’s edge, her brown toes buried beneath the sand. She quickly attempted to wipe the few fallen tears from her cheeks, disbelieving that she actually cried that way, and she got to her feet before him, his eyes widened before her.

  “I was wondering where the hell you ran off to so fast,” he said, examining her face. “What’s up?”

  She shook her head rapidly, attempting to move past him. But he stopped her, took her into his arms, brought his face close to hers, and said, “What’s up, Nat?”

  She didn’t answer, only turned her head away, hoping that he didn’t see the redness in her eyes, hoping that her heart would stop racing soon…

  “Are you uncomfortable?”

  She hesitated initially, but nodded following as he rubbed her back gently.

  “Why didn’t you say that?”

  Natalie shrugged her shoulders.

  “I can’t believe you, Nat,” he told her. “You’re going to let that bitch run you off like that?”

  Natalie looked at him.

  “Yea, I said it,” he laughed. “A bitch…I’ve always hated her…I should’ve known…”

  Natalie laughed too. She hoped he understood.

  Only if you understood…

  “We can stay here,” he suggested. “You want to stay here? It looks like you want to just stay here…”

  “You should get back to your friends,” Natalie advised.

  Brandon scoffed. “Hell, they’re not going anywhere…you, on the other hand might, so I should hold you down for as long as possible…”

  They sat down in the sand together, and he did something that she didn’t want, didn’t expect, didn’t need to happen…

  He leaned in and kissed the side of her face, assiduously and she exhaled heavily.

  #

  He found Natalie the next afternoon sunk into the porch hammock. She was reading the book she’d packed, leafing through it swiftly as though she were embarking upon a desperate attempt to keep her mind from wandering. She'd left Brandon at the beach with Scotty an hour prior, and was rather startled when he stomped onto the porch and knelt beside her, forcefully stopping the hammock from swaying, making her roll over uncomfortably with it.

  “What’s the matter?” she asked him. His shoulders were covered in dry white sand, hair wet.

  He spent a few seconds attempting to catch his breath before speaking.

  “Sophia,” he murmured, swallowing hard.

  “What about her, Bran? Did she call you?”

  “She’s here.”

  “Here? Here, where?”

  “I saw her on the beach.”

  “Our beach?”

  He nodded.

  “Did she see you?”

  He then shook his head. “But I saw her…saw her with Eric.”

  “Eric? That white guy from the wrestling team?”

  He nodded again. She put her book down and sat up, looking at him. He looked absolutely pitiful.

  She wondered why her heart began to pound at that moment, wondered why his reaction over Sophia bothered her.

  Then Natalie Chandler shook the sensation off as silly, cleared her throat and begun.

  “Brandon, you shouldn’t…you shouldn’t worry,” she said, reaching back to push his hair out of his face. “They could just be friends…like you and I are friends.”

  This gave her best friend a funny look on his face, and he remained silent. She couldn’t tell whether or not this expression was about her…or Sophia.

  “They’re just friends,” she whispered, the breeze now picking up, louder than her delicate southern voice. “You made the right decision, Brandon…whether you think so or not…you made the right one…”

  Her hand was still on his head. Brandon Greene nodded slowly, appearing slightly convinced.

  She’d never seen him so shook.

  #

  In another hour, they were on his bed in their tight bedroom, his clothes now shamelessly thrown about the floor. A small window above his bed was cracked to let air through, and she was reminded of how awake she'd been the night before, reminded of how terrible his snore was, reminded of the hour or two they’d spent on the beach.

  But, she lounged near her shaken best friend then, watching his silence, patiently waiting for him to say something, finding the whole ordeal darkly funny.

  But, what could be said? Wasn’t he the one who ended it? How could he not think that what he did was the only thing that made sense? Surely this boy didn’t think that what he had with this girl was healthy? Did he not admit it himself?

  She wanted to tell him so then. She wanted to tell him how frustrated she was with the fact that they were wasting this trip worried about his feelings for that girl.

  So what if she came? What should that change?

  “She did it to spite me,” he told her finally.

  Natalie shook her head slowly. “I hardly think so, Bran…”

  “Why wouldn’t she? I mean, she knew I was going to be here. We come here every year…”

  “You shouldn’t stress over it,” she told him quietly. “So what? Look at what she did to you? You’re going to let her see that she’s still got you?”

  Brandon threw his body back onto the narrow bed, groaned, “Natalie…”

  “Well, what in the bejesus do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that I think you’re acting like a girl? Because you are…”

  He looked at her.

  “Well, it’s true…”

  “I disagree…”

  “Well, if not a girl…then a humongous baby…”

  “Never,” he said, moving his eyes from her to the ceiling.

  There was a knock on the door shortly following, and Scotty entered the room quietly, setting his bottom down on Natalie’s made bed.

  “What am I interrupting?” he asked.

  “Brandon’s lost his balls…”

  Scotty laughed under his breath. “Well, I’d say that’s no good…I can venture to guess that it’s about Sophia?”
>
  “Who else?” Natalie shrugged.

  Scotty sighed deeply. Brandon continued to stare at the ceiling.

  “But, I thought you were the one who dumped her?”

  “Exactly what I said,” Natalie smiled, tapping Brandon’s stomach once.

  “Well,” Scotty Kelly sang. “She’s downstairs if you want to talk to her…”

  Brandon Greene sat up, looked at his curly-headed companion, and mumbled, “Are you fucking serious?”

  “Why would I lie?”

  “Is she with Eric?” she asked Scotty.

  He shook his head slowly. “Nope, don’t know where he went after we saw them at the beach earlier…but she definitely came alone…”

  Brandon and Natalie met eyes and she shrugged her shoulders.

  “Do what you want,” she told him. “I have no control over what you do…”

  Brandon nodded compliantly and pushed his tall body off of the small bed. He then moved toward the door, took one glance in her direction and left the room.

  #

  Scotty coaxed her into walking with him on the beach that late afternoon. They watched the natural golden light mark the current beneath it, heard the drone of a lone airplane flying above, saw a small white sailboat, skim the waves against the horizon.

  She liked Scotty - more than she ever thought she would. His naturally funny demeanor had both her and Brandon laughing to the point of tears, and she enjoyed listening to him, a music major, talk passionately about loving melodies and harmonies and rifts and what he planned to do with it when he graduated. She’d also grown accustomed to watching him with Brandon, loving their interaction, loving the way that they picked on each other, loving the fact that Scotty was his voice of reason when she wasn’t around.

  They walked a slow pace, past a chain of brightly colored beach houses. Barefoot, they walked close to the clear shoreline, the white sand, clinging to their toes.

  “I can’t believe he’s talking to her,” he said quietly, breaking the silence. “Sometimes, he makes me so mad…”

  “You’re telling me…”

  He chuckled, looking her direction. “I see it, you know…”

  She met his glance. “See what?”

  “You and him…”

  She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “You’re funny…”

  “I see it, Natalie,” he told her, pinching her waist, teasingly. “I see that it’s bothering you that he’s talking to her right now…”

  “He can do what he wants…”

  “Don’t lie to me, Natalie,” he said. “You care…you try to hide it, but you care…I swear, if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be here right now, putting up with his bullshit, like I do…”

  Her stomach fluttered. “Nonsense…”

  “I mean, I don’t get what he sees in her,” he said, throwing his hands up. “But, you know, I’ve tried through and through to put that guy onto some other girls, but she's the only girl he's ever wanted since freshman year…well, until you came along…”

  Natalie exhaled heavily. “Scott, please…”

  “I’m serious, girl,” he told her. “Like I said, I see it, you don’t…”

  “Is she pretty?” she asked him lowly.

  Scotty paused, as if to think hard. Then, he nodded with a grin. “Yea, I can see why he’d be so fixed…she’s pretty fucking hot…”

  “Well, there you go…”

  “But, you are too…in a different way,” he said. “That’s it! You’re different!”

  “Really? I hadn’t noticed…”

  “Well,” he laughed. “Besides the more obvious difference…”

  “Scotty, trust me you,” Natalie began, setting her hand on his shoulder. “Brandon’s a number of things...and all of those things are ones I am not...therefore...you already know what I'm trying to say...."

  Scotty chuckled, lowered his head and shook it. “If you say so, Natalie…maybe you should get to know the Brandon Greene that I know…then, you’d see why I’m still around…”

  #

  Scotty returned to the house and she walked alone at sunset. She headed back up the beach in the direction in which she came, passing their humble green beach house on the left, the golden shoreline on the right, and a small barrier of rocks up ahead. The wind, strong, caught her then, and she walked with her head lowered.

  And, of course, she thought about him then, as most would when they’d internally admitted their feelings for someone. She thought of him and Sophia, wondered why he loved her so much, what kept him coming back.

  She realized then, that the subject of love was foreign to her. Or at least the love that kept his heart tied to Sophia so tightly. All she knew of it was the fact that it made people crazy, do the insanely strange things to each other that they wouldn’t normally do. She’d seen the way that love affected her parents so long ago, and questioned if love was the reason that prompted her Dominican-bred father to slap her mama over a couple of times. Yes, in Natalie’s eyes, love bred control, deceit, and drama, none of which she could live with. Nonetheless, the young southern girl felt the pull of jealously then.

  You’re an idiot, you silly girl. What are you going to do now? How are you going to look at him? You’re not good at hiding your emotions, so what makes you think that you’ll be able to hide these? You won’t! And he’ll figure it out, and he’ll stop calling you as much as he does. Because he’s still in love with her, isn’t he? Yes, just like the girl said, he’s still in love with her. Have you not paid any attention to the way he looks when you mention her name? It’s like she died or something.

  “You’re Natalie...”

  Natalie turned around. A young woman sat, perched atop the barrier of slick rocks, her knees in the embrace of her short arms. Her blond hair shimmered, against the warm glow of twilight, was full, long, curly and wild. She was petite with the slightest hint of a shape. She donned a tiny waist, slender curves and a full bust to prove it. There was softness that lied in her face. Her small features were reminiscent of a pixie.

  She took a long drag of the long cigarette between her lips, blew the smoke in a ring through the small opening in her mouth and looked at her.

  “Aren’t you?” she pressed.

  Natalie nodded.

  “Of course you are,” the blond said quietly. “How many pretty black girls are there on Jekyll Island? You might be the first. Do you know who I am?”

  Natalie nodded. “Yes…yes, I do…I should get going…”

  She started to walk away, felt a slight brush of relief roll over her.

  “Do you ever wonder why we’ve never met before, Natalie Chandler?”

  Natalie didn’t respond. Instead, she halted and nervously turned around again, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

  They locked eyes for a moment, and Natalie clasped her hands together tightly, taking a deep breath, feeling the wind carry her hair. She couldn’t help but take notice of how piercing Sophia Baldwin’s green eyes were.

  “I was perplexed,” she began, taking another drag. “Really. I’d heard very little about you, yet, your name always popped up in his phone. And I was told that he was seen walking around with you on campus everyday. He’d have his arm around you, he’d be laughing. And some said that they would see him driving on campus at an odd hour in the morning. And I felt his attention slowly deteriorate. He stopped doing the things that he used to do for me, and I couldn’t figure it out. I couldn’t figure out why my boyfriend of over three years stopped loving me…why he stopped paying attention to me. Do you know why that happened, Natalie Chandler? And then one day, I had to do something about it. I slept with Eric. I slept with him because I was not getting the attention that I deserved. And it backfired, didn’t it? My boyfriend told me that it was over. And a few weeks later, I find out from my two best friends…you’ve met Monica and Sabrina, haven’t you? Yes, they told me that Brandon had invited the same black girl that they’d seen with him on campus so many times to the isla
nd. My two best friends even had the audacity to tell me that they were staying in the same room. I’d never met you, Natalie Chandler, because he knew that the moment I lay eyes on you I would hate you. And I do…I really hate you.”

  What could she say? Could she necessarily apologize for something she was certain wasn’t her fault? No, she wouldn’t do it. She couldn’t apologize to someone who’d hurt her friend so badly, could she?

  Natalie Chandler remained silent. And she watched a tear fall down Sophia’s cheek.

  “I wanted to marry him,” Sophia Baldwin continued, tossing her cigarette to the waves.

  She watched the blond crumble into tears.

  “He was so cold to me. And I knew that you had fixed him. I saw you in his eyes. I read you all over him. And that’s why I hate you.”

  Low Tide Under the Moon

  SHE DESCENDED a small dune of white sand, pushing past the sea oats at half-past midnight. She hadn’t seen him since that afternoon, since he went to talk to Sophia, and now she was searching for him.

  She wasn’t sure what caused her to go running after him. Conceivably, she wanted to see what form of fate lay in store for him and his Sophia. Yes, she only wanted him to make the right choice; but she was certain that she could no longer interfere. The toss of her heart had become a dangerous playing ground, and she could no longer allow him to look at her that way. She wasn’t sure that her peace of mind could stand for much more of it.

  She found him, emerging from the slow moving waves, striding against the current, along the shore slowly. She pinched at the hem of her feather-light white sundress, undulating in the cool breeze, that staved off the stale heat of the day, that left her poor brown skin suffering.

  They connected eyes, and she continued to step forward, and with each press of her foot into the mushy golden sand, she felt a part of her reserve subside. His eyes seemed to glow through the curtain of his untamed black hair, and his bare chest bore a thin layer of glistening saltwater, which slowly rolled down his stomach with each step that he took.

  In a final forlorn attempt, before her eyes gave way to her true feelings, she reminded herself of what she had to do; she would let her feelings go, she would let him go. She felt that she had to do it for the sake of their friendship, as strange as it was, and for the sake of her sanity.